#Detached Thoughts

[wickedzeevyln]

Paper Window

Must have seen you in a field,the trampled grass your bed,your eyes fixed on the sky,and the sky hanging on blooming fireand leaves of ashes eloping with autumn–tainted summer.You didn’t stir,if not for the fence time drove into the paper soil in between us the song of chaos will probably sing it’s ominous song in my ears.Not an inch, did you move. Your thoughts might have been that of your…

[qweenofurheart]

dynamic motion practice in the midst of a fight!

[ahkaraii]

Thinking about the early days of Robotnik and Stone... They're both orphans with a dislike of humanity and a fascination with machines of mass destruction, so I wonder if they ever talked about their personal lives and private traumas.

...Probably not. But maybe they came close?

[hadaldemon]

dumb lil thought I had at work

Shadow Tako/Tako Milk form

[carlyraejepsans]

Screen recording of the band segment from chapter 3 so I can read the full lyrics without eating shit too badly

[pigeonstab]

yeah but what if reaper is 7ft tall. actually.

[adastreia-12]

poseidon’s relationship with percy is something that is so personal to me. love so flawed and complicated, so wary and tentative. your father is here. he’s always been here. he’s not sure what to make of you but he is proud of you. you’re not sure what to make of him either. you’re sally jackson’s son, but you have your father’s eyes. you are the sea as much as he is. trust him. trust yourself. breathe. the sea does not like to be restrained.

[nephritebabie]

but what about the pain detachment brings?

[deerspherestudios]

Hi! What if Atom finds out that YN didn't send them into space to save them, but just thinks they're going to die anyway, so why not choose a less cruel way to die? Will they hate YN as much as they hate the rest of the crew

Like MC sending them out for a mercy kill?

If this happened after the events of the game, they'd probably feel betrayed since they've built this whole idealization of you being their savior and not an executioner like the rest of your friends.

They probably wouldn't be as infatuated with MC as they used to be, but would keep them alive because the deed's already done. They won't hate them with the same vitriol as the rest of the crew, but there's definitely an absence of attachment there; a somber sense of gratitude rather than devotion.

Also just because I keep thinking of this scenario, I think if Luna (the in-game protagonist) thought that sending Atom out to space will kill it, they'd still be driven to save it from torture and death by keeping Atom as a pet in their room, feeding it scraps inside the jar. Atom would adore the hell out of that.

Possible AU like MR!Mychael where circumstances are different? What would it even be called, Jar!Atom? Surely nought... unless...

[dontbelasagne]

desperately need to do a presentation on why the Twelfth Doctors journey perfectly represents the transfem experience

their previous eleventh incarnation being suave and hypersexual (i know moffat is mostly to blame but!) is reminiscent of attempts to fit into heteronormative ideals of masculinity. whilst it is not completely insincere, there are obvious signs this does not fit you as a person, it is acted out of desperate need to being seen. as Vastra put it, eleven wore that face, and subsequently that form of masculinity, to be accepted. on becoming twelve, realising even an "idealised" masculinity does not inherently serve them, they retreated into themselves as a person for self-reflection and trying to understand why they feel so detached from who they are.

the "am i a good man" arc mirrors being closeted and having to present as something not inherently tied to your sense of self, but still wanting to be the best of your perceived gender as any failure could leave you spiralling into self-doubt about simply being like any other "man". you ignore your gender dysphoria/questioning by trying to claim a moralistic view of gendered expression. made even more clear by Twelve rejecting Clara's heroic view of them, establishing that even though they have made efforts to be a "good man", that is just a placeholder for their loss of identity.

Missy appearing as she does, who as a character serves as a parallel to The Doctor on what they could become, and her eventual arc in trying to become good is symbolic of the fear around transition regret that internalised transphobia can create when you are closeted. Missy never gives importance to their fem existence other than nonchalant jokes, rather showing a more free and expressive personality devoid of any frustration. this immediately dismisses the transphobic assumption that trans people are only focused on their gender. also, Missy representing trans femininity is inherently tied to chaos and upsetting the status quo, she is the embodiment of what society considers accepting your womanhood as someone previously labelled masculine. what many others, and The Doctor themselves, saw as a need for attention and senseless disruption is Missy not needing to serve a false version of who they are, that they can now focus on becoming whoever they want to be now without losing energy to performing a gender that society has imposed on you. Missy could never have made the decision to stand with The Doctor if she had not given importance to her own queerness.

it wasn't coincidence with meeting Bill, she was the perfect foil for The Doctor to finally let go of their anxious attachment to masculinity. i would even argue for the majority of s10, The Doctor is largely ambiguous in their gender identity and does not fit into any construction of masculinity or femininity. whilst they still present as something socially labelled as masculine, they do not internalise that gender expression. they are uncaring about and not needing the validity that comes with heteronormativity, and thus is free to finally accept the decision they have to make. as Bill says, it is so hard to let go of The Doctor, and that rings true for twelve themselves. but they begin to realise The Doctor can be anyone. yes, they are tired, it would be so easy to simply rest and not give value to who you can become. but choosing to let go of everything you once were to survive is better than oblivion. it is better to let go, to choose another lifetime where the only person that dies is your falsity, to finally get it right and choose kindness. for yourself and for those who you love. they regenerate, not just into another person, but into someone who (if only tv scripts...) can now move forward.

[lines-in-limbo]

I think people often see a competent character and assume that must cancel out any lingering effects of neglect, for instance. Like, just because someone is high-functioning- capable, disciplined, good at their job and the things they do, etc. - that doesn’t mean they haven’t internalized deep patterns of selfneglect or detachment from their own physicality. You can keep a classroom spotless and still not look in the mirror. You can be controlled and meticulous in your work, you can scrub your speech, master your walk, and still carry the weight of never being cared for- and the belief that your appearance isn’t worth the effort, because that’s what you learned growing up. Being “high-functioning” doesn’t mean you’re healed. It often just means someone learned how to get by, by excelling outwardly, while quietly abandoning parts of themselves they were never taught to value.

Snape’s hair isn’t nessesarily a sign of “poor hygiene,” in my opinion, but a reflection of how someone raised without care might treat their own appearance. He doesn’t nurture himself in the ways others expect. That doesn’t make him incompetent, but it speaks to what’s been internalized, to how care wasn’t modeled or prioritized in the world he came from.

I mean, yeah, he’s refined and changed certain things, but emotionally, he’s still stuck. Still spending summers in the same house he grew up in. Still lashing out from the same place of resentment. And his appearance, especially his hair, has not changed. It’s the one external detail that’s stayed the same from childhood to adulthood. That’s not something I think is accidental. It reflects something frozen, something unprocessed. That continuity is the point. It’s thematically consistent. And frankly, it makes more sense to me than chalking it up to potions fumes or practicality.

[zzoupz]

i see D&D AU. now i am curious about D&D swap au... :0

AU-ception, interesting.

[feroluce]

So I've already seen this one pointed out, but in the new CG, Boothill's older human form doesn't really match what people thought it should. Of course it could just be neglect on Hoyo's part like I've seen speculated, but personally? With the other lore we got from this patch, combined with some of the stuff we already had, I'd love to think there is a possibility that is way, WAY more fun.

(fun for me and all the other whump enjoyers, anyway, RIP Boothill fjkasjkdj)

In Boothill's lc, we see him in the middle of his surgery where he threw away his flesh and bone body for steel and cybernetics. We know it was The Big Surgery and not just like some sort of tune up or modification because of the description attached to the lc:

Which is where a lot of the dissonance comes in, because in this lc, Boothill's hair is much, much longer than in the cg.

And as someone who also has super long hair, I can tell you that it would take like. Multiple years to grow it out to this length.

There's also the fact that these cybernetic arms don't even match, the lc is the one that looks like our Boothill does now. And there's no reason for Boothill's shirt to be ripped up and in tatters like that; it even states he takes off his clothes before the lc surgery. If it were a matter of Hoyo needing to censor nudity, there were plenty of other methods they could have used that would make more sense, like a hospital gown, a blanket, surgical partition, etc

When will I get to see Boothill with all his scars, Hoyo, when, quit cockblocking me!!! OTL

But there was also another piece of new lore this patch that hit me like a fuckin' brick- the fact that Boothill was tortured by the IPC.

He just drops this out of nowhere! Just says it and then moves right along!! BABY, PLEASE. I WANNA KNOW MORE SO GODDAMN BAD.

But anyway as Hydrachea pointed out to me, this means the torture definitely had to happen before the lc surgery, because being whipped with a belt soaked in saltwater (fucking OUCH) wouldn't work on someone with metal skin.

So, we know that the IPC did, at some point, capture Boothill. And this is reaching further back to previous patches, but we also know from the Luminary Wardance event in 2.5 that the IPC also dabbles in cybernetic arms, because of the one they foisted on Luka.

The model there is a new one they're debuting, but we see in a flashback sequence that the IPC has been part of the cybernetics game for at least 700-800 years, because they also manipulated Igor into getting one too, and this could have only happened before the Eternal Freeze on Jarilo-VI.

It's never stated just how old Boothill is, or how long ago the genocide on Aeragan-Epharshel took place.

But I doubt it was more than 700-800 years ago.

I really don't think Boothill is that old, or has been doing this for that long. So he definitely would have been captured at a point that the IPC was manufacturing cybernetic arms, and had a known history of amputating perfectly healthy patients to use them.

I wonder if all their test subjects were willing.

(This part is entirely unnecessary for the new cg showing Boothill being a forced lab rat as part of the IPC torturing him. But it is a fun, delightful, bloodily gruesome twist of the knife nonetheless.

Boothill was also betrayed by his own brothers-in-arms on Aeragan-Epharshel. For the IPC. Just saying.)

[rookdaw]

monster X monster hunter

[fleurcense]

I loathe you with every energy that my body can provide. I loathe you for making me look like a damn fool! Begging on my knees to feel the very bare minimum of receiving love. What a blind man you are, what a totally blind man you are! How can you not see and fathom the beauty of a soul standing in front of your door? Is being a slave to the world’s temptation worth more than being a lover to the god’s answer? My goodness, you are a fool. I am perhaps the only one who is able to turn a blind eye on every dirt you have on you. I do not wish to be in your past, all i ask is for you to let me be in your present and future! Tell me foolish boy, is this such a great favour that you cannot give? My, oh my.

You speak of love like you are the master of it, yet when the love shows itself to you, you neglect it like a plant that dies after the owner refuses to take care of it! Remember, “You will look into the faces of the passerby, hoping for something that will, for instant, bring me back to you.” For i am only one, and no other. If the devil could laugh, you would have heard him laughing from the pits of hell. For you who succumbs into his temptations, when he knows what a fool you are for letting go of such a great gift, gift that comes from the hands of god, created carefully by the heaven, a heart made of flowers, planted by the loves that it receives constantly.

You are a fool. And you shall remain a fool for as long as you remember me.

Sofea.

[nothingworthnoting]

some nights i wonder how i dont collapse under

the thought of what once was

and what couldve been

other nights im sobbing inconsolably

wishing i could turn back time

wanting to be in your arms once more

longing to hear your sweet nothings

desiring to be seen by you

oh that stare of yours

ive always wondered why it made me so uneasy

only to realize you were never looking just into my eyes

but also staring into the depths of my soul

you could tell i was uncomfortable and would ask why

of course i would brush it off

as if i could actually confess to you

that ive never felt so exposed

stripped naked of all of the masks i put on

to stare at me the way you did

was to unravel me

and hold the fibers of my very being into light

oh it hurts

but hurt me as you please