#I really need to play it again
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Drew Chouko, my beloved chaotic gnosia OC.
#oc: chouko#oc art#muffin does art#Gnosia#I really need to play it again#seventh playthrough here I come
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truly this one's just for me. I can do what I want foreverrr
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#adaine abernant#figueroth faeth#kristen applebees#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#fabian seacaster#việt phục#tbh the thing Im the proudest of in these sets is the skirt hike+áo tấc flap combo. and of course that went to riz lol#will use that again for other things later down the line. for now we play dressup. come play dressup game with me#some of these couldve done with more cookin time maybe... I feel like. for example adaine's gorgug's and fabian's silhouettes are#a bit too similar for my taste#esp. adaine and gorgug. fabian I feel like I just need to make his waist more apparent#and I really like what Ive got with adaine rn... just gotta rethink gorgug#lmao. the dilemma with using áo tấc is it's generally a rectangle#this never stops me however. if I like a guy enough I Will give them a set#it's not about them it's about me. its for me babeyy#also I love the way scabbards are worn in wuxia. like its just dangling back there#guess the amount of fabrics those characters have on mostly immobilize it. just a real good cushion
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The musical episode.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin guangyao#nie mingjue#Remember jin guangyao: If you do any treachery you will face the wrath of five horses.#When are the horses going to come into play? You'll see.#s2.ep8 had beautiful music... I listened to it on loop while drawing!#Good music to chill out to before you fly into a rage.#This episode really cements how JGY's mind works - It is a matter of long-term outcomes at the sake of nearly everything else.#Morals do not matter to him if the outcome is more favourable.#and at the center of it all - he has learned that the only person he can truly trust is himself.#In turn - the only person his actions benefit are himself.#He will do anything and everything it takes to reach a position of power - not just for the power. But because it means safety.#Because it was something he was denied and the idea of not having control in his life again is unforgivable.#'Happiness' isn't a goal. We are looking at someone still stuck at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.#Everything and everyone is a piece in a game. Bonds and friendships are assets. People are dispensable.#He wants to climb for the sake of climbing. He wants praise and recognition because he feels it is deserved. It's all so hollow.#We could go deeper into his psyche on this.#But these are also tags under a comic in which 'evil penis music' is the punchline.
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Made it through the day
#hurray!#fuck my stupid baka life#mannn#back in school mother mother playing in my brain like it's 2018 again#to be fair that song is a mood that transcends time and space#loveeee sun being unhelpful. thats my boy hes also tired#doodles#sunshine draws#dca sun#self insert#vent post#< well not really but yk#i needed to doodle smth today
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spontaneous au created after the new monster hunter game announcement and being thoroughly bullied by my twitter followers to give into temptation
#trigun stampede#trigun#monster hunter#mhw#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#monster hunter au#i actually made a hunter in mhw based on vash#i really need to play again#and get back to this brrr
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(Unseen Academicals, Terry Pratchett) I think Shang Qinghua and Ponder Stibbons should have tea and compare notes about somehow accumulating so much behind-the-scenes power by doing menial jobs no one else wants that they could basically run the show if they wanted...
meanwhile we have Shen "meh good enough" Qingqiu
#svsss#shang qinghua#shen qingqiu#sqh#sqq#cumplane#discworld#my art#sqq 100% knows how to delegate meanwhile sqh is here trying to run a sect a demon kingdom and juggle a bunch of secret conspiracies#his little rodent heart is going to explode from stress at this rate no qi deviation necessary#i'm gonna need to draw sqh more i really don't know what i want his design to be yet but i like him a lot#if anyone has any sqh drawing prompts send them to me i need some ideas to play with (WITHOUT SPOILERS THOUGH I'M ONLY ON BOOK THREE)#i was scrolling back to see the last time i had drawn cartoony cursing to remind myself which shapes i like to use and wow#it looks like it's actually been a while??? it surprised me because i really love drawing them#i laugh any time i see them in a comic#anyway what are the odds i reread unseen academicals again before the month is through? highly underrate pratchett novel imho#variations of this quote is actually used a few times in the discworld series i think but this is the one that stands out to me#when stibbons reveals just how much power he actually has at the university#*chefs kiss*#the wizards are so dumb i love them so much
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the way I crave a parent who, not only loves me, but likes me, and notices me is so so embarrassing
#my heart aches when i think of the few good childhood memories i have with my parents#i want the mum who played snowman with me after a bath when i was covered in talcum powder#i want the mum who would hold me and not get mad at me when i cried#i want the dad who. actually i dont think i have a good memory of just me and my dad#im sick of the parents who cancel on me and forget about me and refuse to listen when i speak#im sick of being scared and alone and needing parents I'll never see again- parents ive never actually had#im homesick for a love i never really had#bpd#actually bpd#bpd safe#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd blog#bpd splitting#bpd diary#actually borderline#borderline thoughts#borderline blog#borderline personality disorder#borderline vent#eupd#actually eupd#emotionally unstable personality disorder#mother issues#father issues#parent issues#family issues
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Fun fact about me but I've never actually finished bg3. I have gotten to act3 around seventeen times though
#might be the tism#i really enjoy playing the same thing again and again where i know exactly what to do#also i need to say at least eight of those are literally just Strike and playing him the exact same way every time#bg3#kawa rambles
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more masquerade concept
#the cat witchs guild#the misc adventures of mochi and lime#tcwg#tmaomal#masquerade#beta#art#ocs#original#concept#cryptids#npcs#playing around with different hair kinds. i feel like i want to branch out with hair.#i want to have pokemon level character design#bonus points to whoever recognizes where this outfit was recycled from#i always think about this outfit because i used it once for something else and never again#needed to simplify her outfit i realized i would need to draw that shit over and over#she is a frequent customer of the springs due to back problems#if youre REALLY LUCKY as a witch you can somtimes use back pain spells in exchange for services but this is so extremely rare#dont ask how the sash holds it or how youre supposed to walk normally like that#im throwing the fantasy excuse and just acknowleding that that shit would hurty but it looks cool
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“Do it for her.”
In this cursed timeline we all have been cruelly subjected to, I can admit that this lil lady is the primary reason I get up in the morning. I owe her so much and it’s really not an exaggeration.
We’ve been working on training and working through leash reactivity (she’s a frustrated greeter so her crime is “too much excitement”) but she’s so smart and willing to please, and it’s more me being trained than anything. She has days when she can’t focus or listen, but that’s the same for me. And that’s ok.
She takes up a fair chunk of my free time (easily 85% of it) so commissions and daily tasks are taking a hit, but she’s helped me with my mental health so much in the aftermath of my serious illness so that’s a net positive. I will learn how to balance better in the future I hope.
Love you to the moon and back, Raclette!
#Raclette#dog#april rambles#had her Embarked and she’s officially 100% American pit bull terrier#shelter surprise!#which means I absolutely have to do my best by her#she’s so so sweet but I can’t expect others to know that#come summer she may be a water pup?#wasn’t expecting her to excitedly walk into ice cold lake phalen but here we are#enjoy some goofy sketches of her!#art is still really hard but I will get there again someday#if training goes well and such someday she may have a dog friend#but she still needs to stop begging the cats to play they don’t like it#she’s such an extrovert it’s hilarious
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I second this.
On my playthrough I had Sebille and red prince and it was wonderful and slightly evil but intensely sweet at times (I mean red prince oof I went back and forth a lot with what I thought of that character and his story) and just so so so good
I think Astarion enjoyers should check out Divinity Original Sins 2. Specifically Sebille. There’s a little bit of murder, a little bit of eating blood/flesh, both characters are trying to gain freedom from horrific abuse. Both characters are intensely sweet after getting to know them. Both elves kinda.
#i second this#i played with a friend and she choose the bard (lausa? loasah? idk spelling Lohse?) and the the guy with the beard#the archer dude#but i was team bad but trying to be good#as in i was trying (and failing) at making good decisions)#i really need to play it again
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Unsolved Mysteries.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Spoilers: It was Wei Wuxian the whole time!#Once again this one was on the chopping block but I saved it for just a better comic flow.#Admittedly I do have a critique of the pacing here. Namely that we really should have ended the flashback when WWX fell.#And then gone back to present time for a bit - or even go to a different flashback.#The sense of time passing isn't as strong as it *could* be.#We get *told* three months pass and that they've been looking for WWX. But to the audience it's been...15 min.#Less than seven minutes if you count the flute playing.#This guy when through a whole aesthetic and persona shift in less time than it takes to walk through a corn field.#Guy who listened to less than half an emo album and dyed all his clothes black. And jorted all his jeans.#Timeskips can be sudden and work out just fine! I personally feel like this one would be stronger with better pacing.#Feel free to disagree with me!#In case anyone is wondering why JC and LWJ are still holding hands: 1) Haunted house episode.#2) I needed to practice drawing hand holding at some point. Might as well get the rough and sloppy ones out with these two.
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Do you even know whether you're running toward or away from something anymore? I guess it's all just running, all the same.
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#the sims 4#ts4#ts4 screenshots#ts4 alpha#ts4 edits#ts4 story#The Journey Forward#ch: Sabrina#so i'm def not committing to full time storytelling again bc I SIMPLY do not have it in me#HOWEVER#i'm going to get this damn book done one way or another#and if that means recreating every major scene in the sims to do so then SO BE IT#if anyone remembers any of the many iterations of this scene i've played around with over the years (including the original)#let me kith u#this is my first real utilization of the increased picture limit on here and lemme tell u#i'm about to be a PROBLEM#where was this when i was in my storytelling prime#anyway i'm v happy with how this came out#although i am not happy to retraumatize Bri once again#the story's changed a lot but there's still a ton that remains the same#bc honestly the bones of this story are still etched into my soul#it just need a little...refining#and i rly hope if i have any former readers that are still around that you guys like the changes i've made#and i'm really excited to have y'all along for the journey forward#har har see what i did thar#i think that's my cue to skedaddle#i'll see myself out
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anyway here's some beeper pics and video







#she got rehomed with someone we actually know and it's really not all that tragic i swear. but i'm sad she's not here anymore#she's such an intensely needy cat so like. she needed more playing and more shoulder time and more sitting together#than you'd generally expect so loving her was sort of inevitable#and yeah her temp name was beepbeep or beeper#I think her real name is going to be evie! i think that's what they're picking#which is even better because honestly it's phonetically similar#from what i hear she's already coming out of her shell (again) at the new home and playing and having a good time#sergle.txt
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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L can be such a possessive character at times. he always strikes me as the type of person who is deeply aware of everything that he owns, both in a more literal sense and metaphorically-- like, he knows what money he has and how to use it, what resources are readily available to him and what he has to be sneakier to utilize, the habits and tendencies and emotional states of individuals and world governments both. the DN musical really puts an emphasis on the more computer-y aspects of how his brain functions, which isn't as obvious in the manga/anime but i think still works well as a way to follow his thinking. it's kinda what near does too: everything is a factor to them, every tiny detail a new opening to optimize for the best results, every person and location and object a part of a puzzle waiting to be solved. and as a part of that, L is deeply aware of every and any little thing he may or may not have control over, and exactly to what degree.
his habit of stealing titles as depicted in the LABB murders novel is such a good example of this. ryuzaki, eraldo coil, deneuve. he eats people alive and then takes their names for himself like some kind of fucked up fae or trickster god, creating new masks and personas to hide behind from the remains of the people he's devoured. i have to wonder if he would've used the title of KIRA for himself had he won-- i can hardly imagine what kind of power such a title could hold if held in his hands. of course, he could've just used the defeat of KIRA as a way to build up the L title even further, offering up the body of a dead god like perseus showing off the head of medusa. but L is so emotionally attached to the kira case, i struggle to see him allowing it to fade from existence so thoroughly as near does, even if it is only kept close on a private level...
this is part of why i think it genuinely makes a lot of sense that L's ultimate win state would include capturing light to some degree. even if the memory of KIRA somehow manages to fully disappear from the public consciousness, there is no fucking way L is letting light yagami out of his grasp. honestly, the moment that L truly loses this game is not when he starts investigating misa while still under rem's watch, not when light gets back his memories, not even when he dies, but the moment when he allows light to be freed from the handcuffs. the moment when he allows the other members of the task force to turn off the cameras and keep him from watching light and misa talk in the lobby. the moment when he gives up, lets light yagami go outside of L's personal sphere of control, is the moment when L starts the clock ticking down to the end of his own life.
this is one of the key ways in which i see light as a true equal and parallel to L, as after L's death he, intentionally or no, continues the same tradition and takes L's title for himself, twisting the two sides together into the L-KIRA amalgamation. only, the L title functions a little bit differently than every other persona or title that we see in the series-- because L's true name is L. that's all that he is. on a literal, legal, and emotional level, i don't think that L is anything more than L. he is the world's greatest detective, he's an incredible, weirdo super genius, but he does not afford himself much more than that, barely allows himself personhood or humanity outside of his work. light was the one to ultimately defeat L because he did not just put a stain on his character (as BB attempted), did not just kill him, but stole his very identity and took it for himself.
one of the biggest contradictions of L's character that i think you must accept should you attempt to portray him accurately is that he is both deeply detached from humanity while also having all of his work and effort and life be focused around saving it. it's one of the ways in which he is an exact opposite to light-- where light relies on humanity for external validation, to be Seen, while also looking down on it as dumb and immoral and spineless, L is so separated from it that he barely exists as a person, all the while dedicating almost every action he takes to helping it. remember: for all the emotional turmoil that wammy's house and the legacy of L may put on the kids living there, ultimately it's entire existence is nothing more than L's logical solution to his potential demise. if he dies, the world goes down with him, all of the cases that are yet to happen and he is yet to solve being left in the air. he has the foresight to set up a fail safe, but not to consider the emotional implications of what being that fail safe might feel like, how high the price of your own humanity is if you are not already alienated from it, the inability to have your own name on your gravestone-- though perhaps some of the blame also falls on watari's shoulders in this case, philanthropic old bastard that he is.
imo, playing his game really got it right in presenting L and light as one and the same, synonyms on either side of the mirror. in every action they take they are both so selfishly selfless, playing the game for themselves and their own pleasure but plastering the needs and will of humanity on top of it. L isn't invested in saving humanity for the sake of humanity-- he just likes the thrill of having the stakes raised so high. hard to shit on ryuk for wanting entertainment when the humans he finds are just the same as him.
#death note#astronaut rambles#l lawliet#*L voice* i need to get him in a collar#ahh the thematic cannibalism of light yagami and l lawliet#lawlight#also. i need someone talk to me about near's toys again#i reread mello's death + their final confrontation right before class today & i really like that near wears an L mask when they first meet#especially since that one author's note (?) about near probably hating L keeps standing out in my mind ahahahhaahah#that fucking house. it really fucks those kids up#did L ever even realize? probably not#too busy playing mind games with his psychological warfare fuck buddy boytoy to notice#feel like i should have more L thoughts honestly. i ramble about light often enough#but i suppose i'll just do with this for now and let it come naturally later#'what puts him at ease' 'the food that he likes' 'learn his routines' aww. they're planning a date :))
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