#I/p discourse tw

[runrundoyourstuff]

not posting about what’s going on in i/p, but I am a Jew from Pittsburgh, and I’m thinking about how in the aftermath of the shooting at Tree of Life—where eleven people I knew personally were murdered by a white supremicist—I saw people on this website asking if anyone knew if the murder victims were zionists because if they were, it was inappropriate to mourn them. as if their lives only mattered if they were Good Jews TM.

the fifth anniversary of the shooting is on Friday, and on top of everything else happening right now, that’s something that is really sticking around my mind.

[notaplaceofhonour]

“it’s hypocrisy for people who celebrated the idf killing sinwar & nasrallah to be appalled by people celebrating luigi mangione killing brian thompson; either you care about sanctity of life no matter what or you’re okay with celebrating killing terrible people”

as someone who isn’t really celebrating either, but is more worried about the latter than the former, I would like to present another option.

there is a fundamental difference between:

killing a member of a military structure as an act of war VS. extrajudicial vigilantism and murder against another citizen

a terrorist organization that exists to destroy a country & slaughter its civilians directly carrying out a massacre with clearcut genocidal intentions VS. a healthcare company that exists to both provide coverage for care to its customers and profit to its shareholders making decisions that indirectly lead to death through a failure to provide care when they prioritize profit over care

an agreed upon military action by official members of a structure that has (ostensibly, or at least is supposed to have) a means of oversight/accountability VS. one rogue person serving as judge, jury & executioner with no oversight or accountability

a military attack that deals a significant & strategic blow to a structure that exists to cause harm VS. a lone act of violence that leaves the injustice structure intact and at most disrupts the means to provide healthcare coverage within that system

on multiple levels, the situations are different. this isn’t saying there isn’t severe injustice in how healthcare coverage is provided, or that Brian Thompson was in no way responsible for his part in it, but there are shades of bad, and in every aspect, they’re multiple steps removed in ways that severely change the dynamics.

yeah, if you squint your eyes until all details blur away and boil everything down to “bad person gets bad thing” they start to look the same, but that is a fundamentally unhelpful & childish way to look at the world.

should powerful people who make unjust decisions & have a larger share in the diffuse responsibility for terrible injustices receive no consequences just because they’re not directly masterminding it, or it’s an indirect consequence of other goals, or “it’s not personal; it’s just good business”? no, of course not. but there is good reason that we as a society have a concept of criminal negligence, and we recognize the difference between manslaughter versus murder. they’re just fundamentally different things.

no, intention isn’t everything, but it isn’t nothing. passively allowing violence isn’t not violent, but it is still categorically different from actively engaging in violence or directly commanding it. indirect responsibility isn’t no responsibility, but it isn’t the same as direct responsibility.

it can absolutely be helpful to build a fence around certain offenses—“don’t do x because it’s adjacent/can lead to y”—to make it less likely that the worse offense will occur or to keep people from abusing gray areas and claiming plausible deniability. but there is a limit to how far you can take that before it starts to do the opposite.

when we keep expanding the criteria of guilt to include more and more steps away from direct, intentional harm as equal to the direct/intentional version of that offense, and we lower the criteria for who metes out justice to just any guy with a gun, and we put the power of judge jury & executioner all in a single person’s hands and we allow the maximum sentence (execution) for even indirect/unintentional systemic harm… we’re creating a powder keg just waiting to explode into mass, unchecked, open violence and throwing matches at it. and that’s not even getting into all the people chomping at the bit just waiting to use this permission structure to attack Jews and queer people

I don’t know when we, the three opinions people, started embracing this dualistic extreme black-and-white thinking where things had to all always be x or y way, but we need to do better. cheering on the expansion of vigilantism into extrajudicial execution for untried alleged criminal negligence & corporate manslaughter is a significantly different beast to crab raving or dancing in the streets when a guy who directly masterminded massacres, ruled a totalitarian regime, or dedicated his life to final solution 2: electric boogaloo gets hit as part of a war.

[hermitcraftx]

some of you people cant get mad at me for not using duo names because some of your duo names are stupid (ESPECIALLY the ones involving gem. shiny duo ???? jade duo??? really?!?????? really ?????????) and arent widely used enough to warrant me using them. ill use jade duo when i'm dead

[eldritchdemigodskywalkers]

i just saw THIS ice-cold take in the notes section of a "which star wars character should have an abortion" poll:

#shmi not being pregnant would have solved a *lot* of problems

which… NO????

because here's the thing: at NO point did palpatine's plans to take over the galaxy hinge on the existence of anakin skywalker.

the ONLY reason he decided to gaslight gatekeep groom that child is to have him as a Trophy to symbolize the "triumph" of the sith over the jedi, the dark side over the light.

…okay, so let's say, for the sake of argument, that anakin really had NOT been born, for whatever reason. THIS would be how it would have probably gone:

the phantom menace would have gone similarly to canon at first. but even Assuming that padmé, her handmaidens, and her jedi protectors manage to leave tatooine alive, there would have been no one to blow up the trade federation warship. naboo would have been devastated. palpatine would have become chancellor anyway.

and in the aftermath, it's very likely that the clone wars would have started several years early, as early as A Decade Early with the naboo blockade.

order 66 would have still happened: it's in the chips (or if you go by legends canon, in the indoctrination), and anakin had nothing to do with any of that. there would be no vaderkin to lead the purge, so there might be more jedi survivors, but that's about it.

palpatine would still be able to make himself emperor through his expert political maneuvering: he didn't just sit on his backside for 10 years as chancellor while anakin was still in jedi training in canon, after all.

and assuming that the "chosen one" prophecy holds true, No One Would Have Been Able to Stop Him.

so what problems WOULD anakin not being born have "solved", per se? in terms of overall galactic history, he's barely more than a footnote in the history books anyway… save for his final act of self-sacrifice to yeet his abuser out of the land of the living.

(and if you Insist on going by disney canon, even THAT got negated, so what would be the point anyway?! just incapacitating palpatine enough so that someone ELSE can deal the final blow?! witch, please, i Know star wars is pain, the entire Fandom knows that, but can't you just let the poor man who has never breathed a full day free in his life have a SINGULAR W in his life for ONCE?!!?)

and even then, that's not counting all the other, smaller acts of GOOD that anakin did throughout his lifetime that DID have a lasting impact on others' lives but might not have made the history books, Especially before his fall: he was a good kid who helped his community and family and friends and even strangers (even while literally enslaved and having nothing to his name), he was padmé's life partner and safe space to be (and find) herself and be happy, he trained ahsoka into a reasonably functional adult, etc.

all of that might not have necessarily happened had anakin not existed. even if it Could have happened, it would likely have been much harder than if he Had been there, and a net zero impact on the galaxy is still a relative positive compared to an overall negative impact. heck, -10 is still a more positive number than -1,000 on the number line.

TL;DR: palpatine's galactic sith domination plans did NOT depend on the existence of anakin skywalker, but the cosmic agenda to stop palpatine DID. that's why anakin was born as "the chosen one" in the first place. that is Literally the POINT of the OG saga.

[echoes-lighthouse]

I will never be over people who prefer to make a canonically fucked up and abusive relationship into a 'uwu great father figure and their innocent little bean' rather than people who lean into the disturbing shit and make it romantic.

Like, yes, both are valid approaches and both of them are also fucked up approaches but the fact that one of them tends to get all holier-than-thou about it will always make me crack up.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

I read that same fic earlier and I just straight up muted the person so their works don't show up for me anymore lmao

there was also another one like that posted yesterday because the person was mad at something qBad did a couple of days ago while not at all in his right mind and amnesiac, it was odd (not shitting on the person just confused and slightly concerned)

yeah there’s. a lot of misconceptions around qbad rn lmao. It’s one of the reasons Im so obnoxious about him, tbh, so that it’s not JUST the negativity that gets spread. He’s a really good target for the hate rn, because he has a smaller fanbase and his pvp playstyle + lore lead him to all that antagonizing during purgatory, and that gets vented out into fics.

It’s genuinely really interesting, the dichotomy that seems to exist between tumblr and twitter regarding him. Ive heard nothing but slander about bbh from twitter (again, he is not faking his illness, that is a lie), but he’s got a solid enough foothold on tumblr that ive seen more hate towards the fans that the cc, here. which makes sense, given how we take over the tag almost ever day when he logs on. genuine o7 to people who find that obnoxious but thats one of the reasons i overtag so much, for blocking purposes.

anyway i think all the bbh mischaracterization means that we just need to write about him more >:D please this is a call for more bbh centric fics from people who do not hate him/know a little bit about his lore. blease he’s such a fun pov to write i promise

[a-minke-whales-tale]

The Zoanthrope "Exodus" and P-shifter discourse

There has been a fair amount of talk lately about a zoanthrope exodus, which is particularly ironic timing given Passover starts next week. I do not think there is actually a zoanthrope exodus, not because zoanthropes are not getting fed up with how we are treated and people deciding to not call themselves therian anymore or post in therian spaces, but because this is not new, this is not sudden, and it is not all at once.

Length: 1834 words TW: sanism

I have written a fair few times now about how the therian community has treated myself and others. I for years did not feel comfortable to call myself therian. I existed in therian spaces but I was an interloper. I stayed in therian spaces because I felt really I had no where else and because some places did tolerate me in time. However there was always a price for being tolerated, that being "the dance" - in which I would have to make clear my delusions, make clear that I was seeing a doctor, and minimise the validity of my own experiences and often reassure -real- therians their experiences were different from mine and real.

I have not met terribly many other zoanthropes through the past decade or so. I have met a few here and there but our interactions were always fleeting. Few would stick around in therian communities because of how we are treated. The endless demands to explain your delusion or censor yourself, people would always come and go. I have met a couple zoanthropes that just would not talk about their experiences so they could hide among therians and have the limited community they were allowed. I have also met zoanthropes that existed in P-shifter communities rather than therian communities because they simply were not allowed to exist in therian communities.

The therian community has long tried to "protect" itself and root out P-shifters to a point of zealotry. To be honest I do not care to reclaim the term P-shifter, but I can understand why many would want to. P-shifter or accusations of being a P-shifter have been used against zoanthropes for as long as I have been in the community. It becomes a demand to kowtow and reality check yourself and deny any of your experiences as real or genuine and that they are delusion. And then from there it would be decided if you were allowed to stay in the community or be removed anyway. Accusations of P-shifter have been used for a long time to downplay or deny the experiences of zoanthropes and remove us from spaces that we are ostensibly supposed to belong to. To very many therians, your experience being from "delusion" makes the experience much less valid, despite that under certain circumstances their own identity could easily be declared delusion.

People say and tell me that P-shifters are dangerous and are a cult and how P-shifters hurt and abuse others. I have to wonder though if that is "inherently all P-shifters" or just a perception because of who and what people talk about. There have been many times in many discourses that the opposing side becomes flanderised into this horrible abusive monster or are considered deeply problematic or inherently harmful - shipping discourse, syscourse, radqueers, MLs vs anarchists, etc. I have no doubt that there are P-shifters that have deeply hurt and damaged other people, but this is something that many I have talked to acknowledge and understand. Some people say that the term never was applicable to delusional people, but then I have heard the same thing about 'therian' from many therians, a statement I know does not represent -all- therians. And I should ask as well, what about those zoanthropes who would not or could not double bookkeep? How many of them may have found themselves in P-shifter communities and associated themselves with that? Of the dozen or so zoanthropes I know, it is two or three.

At least for myself, my relationship with therians has been more abusive and done more damage to me than my interaction with P-shifters. It does really become an abusive relationship where I am reinforced over and over how those people over there are dangerous, how they would hurt and abuse me and how here is the only place that I can be tolerated so long as I know that I am lesser than they are and not a -real- therian. I never interacted with those communities until around a year ago because of what I was told, and those that I have interacted with, do in many ways remind me of my own experiences, and many of them have been far more accepting than therians.

People often say that we should find a different word and that it is really about the word and nothing else. But it isn't; it was never about the word and it was never about the problematic individuals. Whenever the topic of P-shifters come up there is almost always this same question of "why are [CLCZs] accepted in the community but P-shifters are not?" The answer always comes down to that we (CLCZs) acknowledge our experience as delusion, while P-shifters do not or that we do not make claims about "Capital-R reality". If it was truly the problem being that it was the word P-shifter, the response would not be relating to or predicated on our ability to double bookkeep. It would be something like "that word has a lot of baggage, [X] have similar experiences but are not associated with that community".

The core of us being tolerable among therians was -always- the minimisation of our experiences. It has -always- been sanism. What happens to those who cannot double bookkeep? They are labled P-shifter, demonised and expelled. Even if we can double bookkeep we might still be expelled. I have had it happen to me, and it would not surprise me if many other zoanthropes have had similar experiences.

I personally do not wish to reclaim the term P-shifter for myself. For how I have been treated by others I do not feel attachment or desire towards the term and it still gives me a bit of discomfort in the way some other reclaimed slurs do. However, I can understand why some people would want to reclaim the term. For some it might be reclaiming a slur, for others being allowed to exist in both communities at once or allowing others like them to be acceptable in the community, for others it might be that making P-shifter acceptable means that they can express their experiences wholley without the demand for double bookkeeping. If you want to accept the full range of therian experiences, you cannot exclude a group of people simply because they cannot double-bookkeep or cannot realiy check themselves.

There is a particular irony over this whole discussion, in that people supporting the inclusion and destigmatisation of the term P-shifter and by and large CLCZs, Endels, and holotheres - groups either directly claiming their identity is associated with delusion or who others often associate with it. Many of the people opposing it almost always include how P-shifters harm delusional people and claim it an effort to protect others. Delusional people are not incapable to protect ourselves, we are not incapable to reason or make decisions for ourselves, and we are not incapable of seeing how others around us or what they think of us, nor are we incapable to see the harm others do to us under the promise of help, protection, and good intentions. So often in these discussions mad people are spoken over, silenced, or dismissed by "sane" people. The level of sanism that pervades every aspect of therianthropy is honestly extremely disheartening, and ironic for a group of "wierd animal people" that plenty of outside society thinks are lunatics.

In the past couple years there have been points when CLCZs were becoming more acceptable and more tolerable, there were even points a couple years ago I did feel finally I could call myself therian and that I could be genuinely part of the community. Even when I started posting on tumblr again there was really very little available and that was only around a year ago. Since then I have met and interacted with more zoanthropes than I had in the 8 years before. I have also been able to get to know some zoanthropes like Sonar/Dune and Ike particularly well. The feeling of not being alone is wonderful. But with our increased visibility and acceptance came ironically with more harassment and more negative posts about us. So many of the various discourses on therian tumblr wind up surrounding us in some way. I am pretty insulated from things in my bubble of mostly other zoanthropes, so I only really see something if a mutual reblogs it, and still it is so regular I read comments how we are dangerous or should not be included for various reasons. If you go to that therian confessions blog you will see so many comments about those like me. All these discourses do is again remind me of how much we are not wanted and not accepted by the broader community. Several months ago I took off my theta-delta necklace for the last time, and it has been hanging on my shelf since. I had gotten two, one for myself and one for my companion. They still wear theirs all the time but for me I simply do not feel represented by the symbol or welcome by it (even if I did replace the cord that was irritating my neck). My companion tries to reassure me that I do belong, and I am welcome in therian spaces and that my experiences with transformation -are- therian experiences or even more than normal therians. Others will try to reassure me that I am therian because I fall under their definition (and some even demanding I do), it is however to me not reassuring. Definitions and labels are much more about community than strict definition as there are plenty of labels people could claim me under. Still I have attachment to the therian community, and I want to see it grow to be what its ideals claim it is. It is honestly a lot of why I write these long emotional pieces, that others like me might not feel so alone, and that hopefully I can convince others and help the therian community to become what it promises it is. Although I feel continuously rejected by the therian community and as an outsider and interloper I do really hope someday we can -be- therians and not treated differently to others.

There is not an exodus, as none of this is new - nothing in how we are treated is new - and zoanthropes getting fed up and leaving communities is not new - the only thing that is new is for once we are visible enough you can actually see it. ~Kala

[imaginespazzi]

ooo that last anon + you ate down. i studied PR in college and while they probably have ppl way more educated than me on their teams, i always thought that this was the most unproblematic way to “launch” their relationship. i also think azzi doing her big one is strategical. p already has millions of followers across all platforms, while she is posting a and commenting on her stuff, azzi is being WAAAAY more menacing. and lowkey it’s so smart because it is driving so much traffic towards all her accounts. there’s a reason azzi is being so active right now, she’s clearly trying to increase her following on all socials. why? lotta followers = a lotta more money in NIL as you can see with P who has household names sponsoring her left and right. azzi is going into her last year of college and therefore last year of NIL. she rlly is putting that MBA to WOOOORK! most MBA programs have concentrations attached to the degree, for example mine was an MBA in marketing and im lowkey convinced hers is too. both of them know the speculation around their relationship and they are lowkey capitalizing on it, i love that for them, getting that #bag.

in terms of them not just coming out and saying “we’re dating”, 1. they absolutely do not need to and 2. it protects them. anyone who is paying enough attention is able to see that they are dating, that’s why they don’t need to. i mean she was at #the table, be fr. as for it protecting them, if a journalist were to directly ask either of them about their relationship right now, the journalist would likely be stripped of credentials and canceled on all social media platforms. if they truly came out and said “we’re dating”, that opens the door for journalists to ask whatever they want, whenever they want. in a way, by not truly hard launching they are protected by an invisible safety bubble. the way they are acting right now in public, like at the draft, and on socials, i.e. azzi tt dump today, is the perfect balance between protecting their relationship and finally being able to own it. this is the main reason why i think they will not be fully out anytime soon, azzi already gets asked enough about p as is. while i do believe azzi fudd is #her, on and off the court, she simply is not paige bueckers. she doesn’t have the following, the clout and the media attention that p does; this is a fact. they both know it and azzi needs to create her own path before it can be paved into p’s. her senior year allows her the opportunity to do that and they won’t mess with that by opening up their relationship to the world completely. they know what the story lines would turn into and how the media would take it n run w it

i don’t think there will be a hard launch, and when i say this i mean undeniable proof that cannot be defaulted to “theyre besties!!!” from either of them for a very long time. i have a few theories on when they will do this.

1. azzis draft; p gonna be at that table but next year there may be love on the lips prior to a walking that stage. this is the most unlikely “hard launch” but i do occasionally enjoy being delusional. the downfall to this is that it could overshadow azzis draft and would likely linger with her through her rookie season. i don’t want this for her at all so this probs isn’t gonna happen.

2. the year 2027; i don’t know how and i don’t know when but waiting a couple years allows them to both be established in the league and have their own stories before the pazzi sequel comes out.

3. people magazine covers their wedding; TW this is based on kr*shlyn. i could totally see them continue to act obvious as hell until there’s a ring on both of their left hand ring fingers. the general public is going to get tired of pazzi discourse within the next couple of months when they don’t hard launch (dw guys i know tumblr isn’t gonna rest ever). this is gonna let them continue to enjoy themselves unapologetically. then, one day who knows when, peoples magazine just gonna pop out with their wedding coverage and we’re all gonna live happily ever after.

4. paparazzi; this one I DO NOT WANT TO HAPPEN I AM NOT MANIFESTING I AM JUST THINKING OUT LOUD. we saw them get papped in NY last week. i think that p has the stardom and the platform that would constitute getting papped. like i wouldn’t be suprised if TMZ stationed someone in dallas. basically they get papped and boom they out. i do not want this. i want this to be on their terms, when they want to.

honestly i’m most confident about option #3 but i’d love to hear your opinion and theories. sorry for the very very long think piece, i have no one to talk to this about and have been witnessing so goddamn much in the past month.

I think more than engagement, Azzi is posting the more demon-time stuff because a) she's the bigger menace lol and b) because her audience is still very basketball-centered and thus there's less chance of weird as fuck people blowing shit out of proportion like there would be if it was Paige posting the more obvious stuff. The spotlight comes with it's cons and unfortunately, especially due to a certain fan war that has been infiltrated by a fair amount of right wing bad faith actors, if Paige was posting a lot of this, they would open themselves up to a fair amount of homophobic backlash (they're already getting some but it would be amped up even more).

And that's also where the safety bubble thing comes in with them not verbalizing their actual relationship status because right now, one can only speculate and any respectable journalist, like you said, won't run with that.

I think I lean more towards option 2 tbh like probably some time after they're both in the W and it's basically been an open secret for a long time, which it basically is right now, and then one day, maybe a birthday post or something, they just decide to confirm it for shits and giggles lmao.

[movedddblogggg]

Hi hello!

I know this is a sys account, but i wanna talk about some backlash that my discord server has received on this platform! TW//CW GOING AHEAD! Hi, my name Doktor Haze, and i run the Therian Forest Server! WE have been called out a few times on here about our opinions on paraphelias! We do not allow any person who is part of z0ph1l1@ or P£d0ph1l1& at all of course, under this rule also mentions objectums and how theyre not allowed to be discussed. One user on here claimed we were discriminating against them for not allowing them to openly talk about the topic. SO HERE I AM TO CLEAR THINGS UP Firstly, we repeated many times that you can exist within the serevr while being objectum, but you are not allowed to discuss it in anyway, as it is a medically claimed paraphelia (See : https://www.researchgate.net/publication/341661772_Objectum_sexuality_or_objectophilia#:~:text=Objectophilia%20(also%20known%20as%20objectum,bridges%2C%20cars%2C%20or%20words. ) therefore, we wont allow it to be mentioned due to the discourse, and the medical meanings behind it NO MATTER WHAT YOU BELIEVE ABOUT IT. I couldnt care less if you id with this term, i just dont wanna talk about it nor allow it to be discussed within this server. Our server is revolved around alterhuman identities, including therians, otherkins etc. so why should it matter if you cant discuss it here, its not the point of our server in any shape or form? Posts weve seen have cut out some vital parts of the convocation, had. We will never allow discussion of paraphelias within our server. EVER. Also, we dont allow physical therians nor transpecies people, as this legit cannot happen and/or is still very controversial, no matter what you think about it. Please understand our wishes within the server and understand why we dont want this things mentioned. Our server is for friendship, not discorse. Thank you all. I know this is a sys account, but i wanna talk about some backlash that my discord server has received on this platform! TW//CW GOING AHEAD! Hi, my name Doktor Haze, and i run the Therian Forest Server! WE have been called out a few times on here about our opinions on paraphelias! We do not allow any person who is part of z0ph1l1@ or P£d0ph1l1& at all of course, under this rule also mentions objectums and how theyre not allowed to be discussed. One user on here claimed we were discriminating against them for not allowing them to openly talk about the topic. SO HERE I AM TO CLEAR THINGS UP Firstly, we repeated many times that you can exist within the serevr while being objectum, but you are not allowed to discuss it in anyway, as it is a medically claimed paraphelia (See : https://www.researchgate.net/publication/341661772_Objectum_sexuality_or_objectophilia#:~:text=Objectophilia%20(also%20known%20as%20objectum,bridges%2C%20cars%2C%20or%20words. ) therefore, we wont allow it to be mentioned due to the discourse, and the medical meanings behind it NO MATTER WHAT YOU BELIEVE ABOUT IT. I couldnt care less if you id with this term, i just dont wanna talk about it nor allow it to be discussed within this server. Our server is revolved around alterhuman identities, including therians, otherkins etc. so why should it matter if you cant discuss it here, its not the point of our server in any shape or form? Posts weve seen have cut out some vital parts of the convocation, had. We will never allow discussion of paraphelias within our server. EVER. Also, we dont allow physical therians nor transpecies people, as this legit cannot happen and/or is still very controversial, no matter what you think about it. Please understand our wishes within the server and understand why we dont want this things mentioned. Our server is for friendship, not discorse. Thank you all.

[devildomwriter]

*TW*- i*cest, r*pe, g*re, p*dophilia, some general discourse

Ok so I am trying to ask this in the most respectful way because I don't wanna snowball this into a huge discourse; but I wonder if you've been seeing the Dark Content Discourse here on Tumblr?

It basically entails that despite your personal preferences, attacking/ demeaning other ppl who create/ consume dark content is a big no no because it's their safe space to be able to explore these topics. This includes all sort of stuff like i*cest, r*pe, g*re and even p*dophilia. Now you may not agree with any of these things, most ppl don't, and they might disgust you; which is totally fine. But there is a huge leap b/w something that is fictional and something that is real.

Fictional characters are literal lines on a paper. Doing anything with a fictional child does not mean you are harming a REAL child. This might still disgust you and that's fine too. You can block that person so you don't have to look at it again but to call everyone like this and start a campaign against them is well...

I just want you to know that I am not defending that person. I didn't even know them at all before this...Neither I am advocating for anything they are saying or confirming/claiming that they are good irl. I don't know them.

I just want you look at this from a different perspective and know your thoughts about this ordeal. Like for one moment step away from your pre-existing feelings and bias and look at this objectively. Everyone likes something that's even a lil problematic, so if we went on these campaigns every time, literally no one will be left in fandom. I don't agree with p*dophilia but I don't agree with this either...AGAIN THIS IS NOT MEANT TO CONDONE ANY OF THIS BEHAVIOUR! But to paint someone as a bad person for things they do in fiction in their safe space no matter how problematic, is somewhat disconcerting.

I again wanna say that this is not any hate against you or anyone else. I don't want to cause any discourse myself . I think you are an amazing writer and a valuable member in our fandom. Which is why it's important to me to hear your stance on this. But if you'd rather not answer this at all that's fine too! :>

I appreciate your perspective and I sometimes enjoy certain dark content as long as they warn others but pedophilia— fictional or not— should never be written/glorified/accepted. If it’s written as a horrible incident or traumatic backstory (like Lolita) then I understand why it’s written but glorifying or romanticizing it in any way is unacceptable.

If no one is left in the fandom after going on these “witch hunts” then the fandom is toxic, preditory, and unsafe.

As for the huge leap between fiction and reality, everything starts as a thought or fantasy. The more you think about it the more likely you are to commit or watch such an act.

Tumblr should under no circumstances be a safe place for pedophiles.

[xlittlestpet]

Old ass intro I'm remaking

used to be @/vrysillypuppyprince

🫧 i am alex !!! im fifteen 𐂯 i use he/him and neos ૮ - ﻌ - ა⁩ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 taken !! <harley3 , 10 16 24 ૮ >⸝⸝⸝⸝< ა h + a 4 lyfe 🩵🩵 ૮ >ﻌ< ა andro + gay + aroaceflux + aplatonic + afam POSIC non-rose objectum , non-rose fictospec sam winchester is my f/o , i do NOT share (cedural, platonic, familial) caninekin n angelkin , furry , involuntary n voluntary agere + petre neurodivergent n mentally ill ; in recovery ^_____^ int w caution if directly contacting (msgs, asks, comments) always expect late replies 🫐 i go inactive frequently msgs are OPEN just lemme know first asks are OPEN ★ - feel free to ask me for my discord for easier contact !

pls do not be affectionate with me , vent to me , tag me in posts , or ttm abt politics / discourse .

special interests :: supernatural (main), lps, care bears, sanrio, kandi/perlers misc interests : minecraft, pokemon, sonic, lego, batman, zombies, coding, baking, crochet, fashion, godzilla, drawing, zoo management sims, the ds family, way way more i dont remember.

current hyperfixations :: minecraft

i change the theme of this blog a lot ! this blog is reblog + spam heavy. i edit older posts, delete old posts, etc., VERY FREQUENTLY !!

this blog is PERSONAL, it has no set purpose. this is my main blog, I FOLLOW AND LIKE FROM THIS ONE. sideblogs are:

@pixxiecup :: agere / petre + stimboards / moodboards

@pawppii :: xenogender acc (only rbs , not vry active)

@heavensentmachine :: graphics and coding (not vry active)

@robowaan :: gifs / stim (only rbs)

@xxlycanthrope :: other graphics sideblog (things like icons)

@boyrevived :: studyblr / study blog !!!

DNI:: basic dni (use common sense), aam / teleiophilia, anti-recovery, anti-theist, radqueers, pro c para, vent blogs + porn blogs

these are all subject to change!!!!!

#alex rambles - random postings :p

#alex recovery - positive messages / tips , studyspo , etc. :)

#alex reblogs - self-explanatory

#alex vents - these are usually vents / rants , no tw but there are swears , block this tag if needed !!!!! i also delete posts from this tag v frequently !!!!

#alex in LOVE - posts baout boyfie :3

#alex shit list - being mean to people who disrespect my boundaries and deserved to be publicly shamed

#alex answers - my replies to asks !

(taken anons : 👾 , 🍎 , 🪢, 💕 , 🐠 , 🐁 , 🐠🫧)

there are other reoccurring tags, im sure, but these are the ones that are xlittlestpet OFFICIAL !!

[genericventblogname-cockandballs]

"But as it is, the water is simply stroking his fur."

Intro post; beware, triggering blog, block don't report, tw animal death for the poem quoted

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I'm Elliot, a teenage loser who runs this blog.

I'm not pro anorexia, sh, or any other harmful illness, I believe everyone deserves to get help. I don't want my posts to get traction I just want someone to hear me scream. It is hell and I wish I could recover but I am unable to. I don't have people to talk to in real life, reporting will not make me get better, please go report actually harmful people (like the pedophiles or trolls who plague vent communities).

In fact, I really dislike people who act like they love their ED or are stereotypical ana girlies and block them when possible, don't mistake me for those people.

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"It is raining and there is a dog lying in the gutter-"

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Basic info

•I'm a transgender man who uses he/him pronouns

•I have a restrictive ed (undx) somewhere between bulimia (c/s), Anorexia (restriction), and EDNOS (b/r cycles and not uw) I'm partially recovering currently (eating more and gaining muscle back)

•I sh, I don't post pictures nor do I encourage it.

•I've been told I possibly have autism (mom won't let me attempt to get tested) and I struggle with social cues, tone tags are appreciated but not necessary (unless I need more context)

•Dx EDS, I don't currently use mobility aids except for my orthotics

•Possible OSDD or P-DID system (again not dx) I mostly cofront when I do switch. Feel free to interact with the others but PLEASE do not interact with any young ones, it's a matter of preference and safety.

•Please tag paranoia bait and reblog bait with rb bait and/or reblog bait

•DM for my main (same url as before for those who know me from my last accs) but I interact from my main (this is a side blog, so if you're cool you get my main)

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"-and the gutter is filling with water because the sewer is clogged."

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Things I won't allow on my blog:

•Asking for harmful tips (I will not tell you how to purge, cut deeper, or fast longer.) I will give my best attempt at harm reduction advice but I advise you to find better sources.

•No meanspo or fatspo- if you post fatspo I will block, and if you post meanspo please tag it

•No queer discourse. I have mutuals who use neos and controversial labels, if you don't like it leave because I support them fully.

•Goes without saying but no transphobia, homophobia, racists, ableists, or zionists. Leave.

•Fake claim me or my mutuals. I do not want what I suffer with and it impacts me day to day, and it feeds into my self-doubt

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"If the dog were alive he'd be drowning-"

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Tags to block:

Ed vents: #elliot!ed!

Sh vents: #vent!sh!

Substances: #vent!sillyjuice!

Rb thinspo: #TW->thinspo

"Rb or gain 10kg" or paranoia bait posts (if I don't rb I get anxious so anxious): #rb bait #reblog bait

Sexual posts: #suggestive

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"-but as it is,"

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Alters and alter tags

Elliot2: #elliot the squeakquel 🔥

Andrew: #andrew tag 🚬

Victor: N/A

Bea: #bea tag 🩰

Jack: #jack tag🏫

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"The water is simply stroking his fur.

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"Seeing a Dog in the Rain" by Laura Gilpin

[ampa-larra]

Didn’t really wanna say anything but this is actually quite concerning

TW: R18 dubcon mention

There’s a solangelo Anon author in ao3 that wrote a (not tagged) dubcon smut and is being extremely rude to people (+ I think they’re also the ones who’re harassing tumblr users given they’ve been saying similar things or they’re a group idk, i dont really care about them, I just care about solangelo :p)

I criticised their work in ao3 for being unhealthy for the ship assuming that they thought what they wrote was healthy and then seeing them in the comments say that Nico needs to be a bottom because, and I’m quoting here, “being a bottom would make his story a lot sadder” which is a wILD take; I wasn’t able to say that they should have at LEAST tagged it as dubcon but I was blocked before I was able to reply again. For brevity sake, I won’t go into more details but the rundown is:

I comment “this is not it.”

They said it was intentional and insulted me

I said “lmao”

They replied “ I will write a more disgusting fic blahblah“

I got weirded out so I just ignored them

but nooow they just admitted to being a minor and this is where it began being really concerning:

To other minors who are reading this I’m not telling you what not to read or not do. Just please be safe. As a person who consumed a lot of.. questionable media/stuff when I was a kid to cope from the loss of my mother, I know how easy it is to step into a world where you’re clearly not ready for. Just try to step back a little, take your time and just be nice to yourself and to others

Anon author made some harmful takes on queer relationships (and honestly just relationships in general) let’s not have that mindset in 2025 pls and especially when tsats is all about Nico and Will trying to understand each other in order to have a healthy relationship. AND KIDS. If you have the same mindset as anon author pls pls pls we have elders in this community that you can ask!

I should say that this is a top/bottom “discourse” of fictional characters LOL Need I say more on how stupid this is?

To the anon author, you might think being edgy is cool or whatever but when you grow up you’re gonna cringe so bad LMAO

at the end of the day, yeah we’re talking about fictional characters here, but with how the world is going on right now, I - for one- am only coping through reading about my silly blorbos but NOT arguing about who should top or bottom

Just don’t be rude in general, fandom spaces isn't open for rude butts

lowkey I’m finding this a bit entertaining because of how absurd everything is but considering that there are people being harassed I’m like yeah, not entertaining anymore huhu and they're great people too! I'm not gonna tag them because I don't know if they're comfortable getting into this conversation bec. I, for one, will be fed up by all this nonsense. Let's just all give them the love and support they oh so deserve!!! <3 <3

idk anymore, I just got off from work and my brain is fried I don’t think I’m even making sense lmao

so what did you guys had for lunch, I ate porridge! Yum!

[somanyratsinthewalls]

HI HI HELLO, Just saw your recs. we’re open and i thought i’d chime in! Maybe both Usopp and the strawhat reader are virgins, and decide to have their first time together to “be more experienced”? but..it’s ends up being friends to lovers!! feel free to ignore if you don’t like it or don’t feel comfortable filling it tho!

HI FRIEND!!

Pairing: Usopp x Afab!Reader

WC: 2900 ehehehe

Summary: You and your close friend Usopp decide to bite the bullet and lose your virginity to each other to get that awkward first time out of the way. Will it lead to more?

TW: alcohol consumption, nicotine consumption (don’t do it!), virginity loss, first time awkwardness, making out, fingering, heavy petting, condom usage, early bustin, p in v sex, they're so cute idk

Tags: My moot @usopp-enjoyer hope you love it (also pls enjoy other Usopp fuckers)

— —

“I’m way more of a tits guy. I mean, I’m not one to ignore a nice ass, but a super rack is really what does it for me.” Franky remarks taking a swig of his cola as he sits at the table with Sanji, Zoro and Usopp after dinner aboard the Sunny one night. 

“How could you even choose? The female form is perfect, I simply can’t choose one part over the other.” Sanji smiles dreamily as he takes a drag from his cigarette. “If I did have to pick, the view of a gorgeous ass bouncing while being taken from behind has to be the most perfect sight of all time.” 

“You’ve never seen that a day in your life, shitty cook.” Zoro smirks and takes a big gulp of sake. 

“I’ve certainly seen it more than you, moss head! All you care about is playing with your stupid swords, I doubt you’ve ever been with a woman like that!” Sanji furrows his curly brows and shouts at the swordsman.

“Obviously I have, it’s the best way to take a girl. Gripping her hair and just drilling into her until she’s screaming…” Zoro leans back in his chair, seemingly visualizing the act. 

“Jeez guys… can we not?” Usopp felt his face heat up at the lewd conversation. He was hoping the focus didn’t turn to him being so obviously inexperienced. The discourse continued despite his protest. 

“Nah bro, don’t sleep on missionary! If you think missionary is boring, you’re just bad at sex!” Franky loudly exclaims. 

“You have a point. How could it possibly be boring? Looking down and seeing a woman writhing around under your touch? Being able to watch her face as she cums? Absolute perfection.” Sanji brings his fingers to his lips and mimics a chef’s kiss. 

“I-I’m heading to bed, night guys.” Usopp quickly excuses himself from the table, face flushed with embarrassment and nervousness. He swiftly heads out from the galley to the deck and found you sitting up against the railing of the ship enjoying a glass of wine and a cigarette. 

You turn your head in the direction of the man leaving the galley and smile. 

“Hi Usopp, how’s everything going with the boys?” You ask. 

“Oh, uh, hi y/n. Good. I mean um? Fine I guess. I was gonna go to bed.” He stutters out nervously, unable to make eye contact with you. 

“Are you okay? Your face is bright red and you seem uncomfortable. I mean… more uncomfortable than usual.” You say with a hint of concern in your voice. “Come sit with me?” You pat the spot next to you on the deck. You always were better at reading Usopp than he was at reading himself. 

Usopp lets out a big sigh and sits down cross legged next to you and puts his head in his hands propped up on his elbows on his knees. 

“It just got kind of weird in there. I hate when they go on and on about… you know… sex…” Usopp finally admits. 

“And it makes you uncomfortable because you’ve never had sex, right?”

He nods. 

“I know how you feel. Nami and Robin do the same thing. I know that might be hard to believe but women are just as vulgar as men. It makes me feel insecure about being a virgin, so I get it.” You commiserate with Usopp because you really knew exactly how he was feeling. 

“Wait you’re a virgin too?!” Usopp snaps his head in your direction, finally being able to look you in the eye. 

“Yeah, you didn’t know that? It’s not like I’m saving it for anything, I just never really have found the right time or the right person I guess. The only relief I get is from ole reliable.” You raise your right hand and wiggle your fingers in Usopp’s direction. He blushes. 

“S-same. I just don’t want it to be awkward when I finally get around to having sex. Everyone always says the first time is so bad…” 

“For you? Yeah right! I’m the one who is constantly being told it’s going to hurt! I don’t want to do it with just anyone in case it is painful!” You take another drag of your cigarette, scoffing at the fact that a man is telling you he’s nervous to lose his virginity. 

“Okay okay maybe you’re right about that part… I just want to get it over with so I can stop worrying about it.” Usopp hangs his head in his hands again. 

There was a pregnant pause. 

“Well… we could… have sex… with each other?” You sheepishly suggest. 

“WHAT?” He snaps his head back up at you. 

“Is it that silly of an idea? We both said we wanted to get our first time out of the way and get some… experience… right?”

“R-right now? I don’t think I-“ Usopp stutters, incredibly flustered but also interested in your proposal. 

“Not right now!” You laugh and put your hand on his shoulder. “Maybe tomorrow? My room? After dinner? Unless you don’t want to, which I completely understand and we can forget this ever happened." 

“I-I do! I think it’s uh.. it’s a great idea… tomorrow then…” Usopp rises to his feet and bids you a nervous goodnight as you finish your wine on the deck. 

— —

The next evening you couldn’t help but buzz with excitement as you skip to the showers after dinner. You make sure to shave and lather your body in sweet smelling body wash in preparation for your “date.” You don your nicest matching bra and panties, a lacy black set, and pull some casual clothes over them. You light a few candles around your room to set the mood. You weren’t sure what kind of mood you were trying to set exactly, feeling a bit silly, but you still wanted to enjoy your first time even if it was going to be awkward. Soon enough you hear a knock at your door. 

You open your bedroom door to see a blushing Usopp with a single, beautiful red flower in his hands. 

“Uh, hi, y/n.” He smiles softly and hands you the flower. 

“For me? You’re so sweet.” 

“I grew it myself so maybe don’t… don’t get too close.. it might explode. I haven’t quite figured this one out yet…” 

You chuckle and move to gently set the flower down on your end table. 

“Are you sure you still want to do this? We really don’t have to, it was just an idea, Usopp.” 

“Yes! Yes, I really do want to. It’s… it’s about time, right?” He laughs nervously. 

You nod. 

“Come, sit with me.” You grab Usopp’s hand and pull him to sit next to you on your bed. You were anxious, but you could tell he was far more so. You raise your hands and pull his bucket hat off his head. You smoothly brush one of his now exposed dark curls out of his face. 

“I guess we should probably kiss first.. right?” You say as you cock your head and smile at him gently. 

“Yeah…” 

You close your eyes and lean in and press your lips softly against his. After a few moments, you shift your body closer to his and begin kissing him deeper with your hands on either side of his face. It was a bit uncoordinated, but Usopp eventually moves his hands to your hips and kisses you back with a bit more confidence. His kisses were messy, not at all experienced. You couldn’t help but wonder, had he even kissed anyone before? I mean, even you had gotten to first base… 

You slide your tongue gently along his bottom lip, asking for permission to enter. Once granted, your tongue slips into his mouth eliciting a small whimper from the man in your gentle hold. You found yourself becoming wetter by the second as he lets out little sighs of contentment during your kiss. Eventually, you pull away. You tug at the straps of his coveralls. 

“Could you take these off? I’ll take mine off too…” You ask while already lifting your crop top over your head. 

“Sure just a second I- um…” Usopp stands and fumbles with his clothes before eventually dropping them to the floor. You had already shed your sweatpants and were laying back on your bed in your bra and panties. 

“Woah, y/n…” Your cowardly sniper is in awe at the sight of your body adorned with black lace laying barely covered on the bed before him. “You’re… beautiful…” 

Your face flushes red and you press your legs together to somehow try to cover yourself. 

“You’re not so bad yourself…” You giggle. “Come here.” You beckon him to come join you on the bed again. You raise your torso up to meet his lips again in a passionate kiss. After a few moments, Usopp reaches his hands around your back to undo your bra. His fingers fumble for quite awhile and he mumbles into your lips. 

“No, I got it.. just a second… hold on… there!” Finally your bra comes undone and he pulls it off your body onto the floor. Usopp leans back to marvel in the sight of your naked breasts. “Y/n can I…?” 

“Yes!” You cut him off, wanting to feel more of his body and mouth on your skin. Usopp leans down and takes one of your nipples into his mouth and gropes your other breast with his hand. 

“Oh!” You gasp, reveling in the new sensation. 

Your newfound lover messily switches from one breast to the other, a string of saliva connecting his trembling lips to your body. You grip his thick, gorgeously coarse hair and push his head into your chest further, encouraging his actions. After a few moments or servicing your sensitive nipples with this lips and tongue, Usopp pulls back and lifts his head to look you in the eye. 

“Do you want to..?” He asks shyly. 

“Yes, want you so badly, Usopp…” You breath out under him. 

Usopp momentarily leaves the bed to retrieve something from his overalls pocket. After Usopp returns to your side with a condom, you slip off your panties. 

“Where the hell did you get that? Saving it for a rainy day?” You question him teasingly. 

“Pfft yeah right. Stole it from Sanji’s room. He isn’t using it any time soon.” Usopp smirks and positions himself on top of you again. You laugh. 

“You’re so bad.” You jokingly slap your hands against his smooth chest. 

“You like it.” Usopp chuckles and leans in to kiss you again. After kissing for a few moments you pull back.

“Maybe I do… take these off.” You pull at the waistband of his briefs and he obliges your request by pulling them down to free his throbbing cock. It wasn’t huge but it was certainly big enough to wonder how it was going to fit inside of you. 

“It’s… it’s okay, right?” Usopp asks uncertainly. 

“Oh sweetheart, of course it is. Maybe even a bit too much… do you think you could maybe… prep me a little first?” You ask a bit embarrassed. You were so aroused, but you just didn’t want it to hurt. 

“How do I… OH! Yeah I can do that I think…” Usopp snakes his hand down your body and cups your mound. “Can you show me?” He starts to rub tentatively at your sex. 

You slide both of your hands down to your center. With one hand you use your pointer and middle fingers to spread your sticky folds apart. With the other, you grab Usopp’s fingers and bring them to your clit and begin to use them to rub gentle circles. You let out a long sigh. 

“Just like this is good…” You softly moan and you let your head fall back. After rubbing at your clit for awhile, your move Usopps’s fingers to your entrance and guide one of them inside your wet hole. You gasp lightly at the intrusion, but you grab his wrist and prompt him to move his hand. 

“Shit… you can add another one now…” 

“R-right okay…” Usopp slips his second digit inside of you. “Is this- does it feel good?” He asks. 

“Pull them up like this…” You mimic exactly how you do it yourself and Usopp curls his fingers upwards inside of you and you feel him hit that delicious soft spot. “There! Keep touching me there!” 

“Like this?” Usopp continues to pull and tap on your g-spot and you involuntarily arch your back. 

“Fuck, yes baby, just like that… you’re doing so well, you’re gonna make me cum. Keep going just like that…” You gasp as Usopp brings his free hand to rub at your clit as he massages your insides with his fingers just the way you’ve instructed him. 

“Really?! I-I mean… shit, you’re so hot… I wanna see you cum so bad…” He honestly couldn’t believe he had you like this in front of him, laid out naked and moments from climaxing, all from his doing. 

“Gonna cum, don’t stop, shit-Ah!!” You moan out loudly as you release directly all over Usopp’s working hands. Your legs shake and your head falls back on the pillows. 

You breathe heavily while laying on your back, recovering from your orgasm as you hear your lover fiddling with the foil condom package. His hands were shaking. 

“Let me…” You sit up and grab the condom from his hands and tear it open. You gingerly lean forward and grab Usopp’s sensitive length and roll the condom on for him. He shudders as your soft hands touch his dick. 

“Thanks, y/n…” He smiles down at you nervously.  “You ready?” He asks, still wanting to make sure you were certain about this. 

“Yes, please fuck me now, Usopp.” You lay back and spread your legs so he could slot himself comfortably between them. He pushes himself close to you and lines his tender, throbbing cock up with your soaking hole. “Please be gentle…” 

“Of course, y/n, I won’t hurt you.” Usopp begins to push his member into your tight entrance and you suck in a breath. “Breathe, y/n, it’s okay, I’m almost in…” You could feel Usopp’s callused hands shaking on your hips, trying to keep his composure. 

“Hnnnn…” You whine and grab Usopp’s biceps. The stretch was uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as you were expecting. You finally feel his pelvis flush against yours as he fills you completely. “Ahh…” You whimper out. 

“Shit, y/n you’re so tight… I’m not gonna last long…” Usopp pants out. 

“It’s okay.. you can move now.. please…” You pull him down by his neck and he begins experimentally thrusting into you. The pain began to meld into pleasure as your cunt begin to flutter involuntarily around Usopp’s thick length. 

“You feel so fucking good, holy shit y/n…” Usopp lifts his head from its hiding place in your neck and smashes his lips onto yours in a deep kiss. You moan into his mouth as he hits an extra deep spot in your tight cunt. “Wanna be inside of you forever…” Usopp grinds his hips into yours and whines. 

“Fuck me harder, Usopp, want to feel you!” You cry out. He obliges and starts pounding into you with reckless abandon. Years of celibacy were being taken out on your pussy and it felt so good. By the deep grip on your hips you were certain he wasn’t going to last much longer, but you wanted to feel him while you could. “I-I’m gonna-shit, fuck, shit!” Usopp spills his load into the condom and quickly collapses on top of you. You soothingly rub his back and draw circles into his shoulders with your fingers as he catches his breath. He rolls off of you and removes the condom from his softened member, tossing it into the waste basket next to your bed. He sits up next to you in bed. 

“I-I’m sorry… it probably wasn’t really that-“

“It was so great, Usopp. Thank you. I’m really glad we did that.” You smile up at him from your position laying on your pillows. 

“Y-yeah.. it was great, wasn’t it?” Usopp laughed. “I guess I’ll get my stuff and go then…” 

“Why?” You ask. 

“Well we just agreed on the sex and I-“ 

“I want you here. Stay with me.” You pull on his hand and bring him back down to lay with you in bed. 

“You’re sure?” Usopp looked at you like he could barely believe what he was hearing. 

“Listen Usopp, I know we’re friends but after that… I kind of want to see where it goes from here… I can’t help but feel like that meant something, not just to me but to you, too.” You caress the side of his face as he lays next to you on the pillow. “We don’t have to hash it out tonight, but… could you just stay with me and see?” You ask. 

“I guess… but if you want to kick me out in the morning, you just say the word!” 

“Shut up and go to bed, Usopp.” You laugh and nuzzle your head into his chest so that you can comfortably drift off to sleep. 

xx Mo

[thewhumpcaretaker]

Anon, I’m putting your question as screenshots and text below the cut so I can offer trigger warnings.

TW: moral scrupulosity or pOCD, real story of underage sex between people who are almost of age, suicidal thoughts

You have talked some about OCD with scrupulosity which I think I may have, but only with one specific trigger. I lost my virginity in high school with a partner in the same class, a few months older. This was legal where I live but still fits the common definition of underage. It was a good experience and a good relationship but whenever I see anyone criticizing underage fics or worst of all, referring to teenagers having sex as p********a, I spiral into thoughts of being an absolutely dirty and disgusting person, for having done things that would be tagged this way if written about. I don’t have s******l thoughts but I do have thoughts that it would serve me right if someone k****d me or something else horrible happened to me. I don’t judge others who have done similar things, only myself. These spirals can last a full day or more. My current partner has noticed me becoming depressed and sex-averse during them. They actually asked if I have any trauma I haven’t told them about. I honestly don’t, I had a great childhood, I have never had any sexual contact I didn’t want, this only started about 3-4 years ago (I am now 25) when the discourse started getting really big in my fandoms. Do you have any advice, experience, suggestions etc. that could help me? Thanks x infinity

Okay I’m going to try a couple of approaches here. 

Approach One: Logic (this one probably won’t work if it hasn’t already but I’m just going to lay it out here anyway)

Let’s take a hypothetical. Suppose you accidentally had sex with someone who was too drunk to consent, but you didn’t know they were drunk at all. They weren’t acting drunk, they didn’t look or smell like they’d been drinking. They said they were sober. You asked for enthusiastic consent, and got it. Would you be at fault? No! You did your due diligence and went into the act thinking that everyone had the ability to consent.

Having sex as a minor who is almost of age, with another person who is around the same age, is very similar. Most people do that because they think they’re more grown up than they really are. They think they have all the information they need to start consenting to sex. I’m assuming you went into that encounter with the belief that you and your partner could both consent. You probably thought that both of you were ready. You didn’t know what you didn’t know, and you can’t have been expected to know that. You had never been 25 before. You didn’t know how life experiences accumulate or what sex could mean to a person later on. So you made an earnest effort to check for consent, and thought you had all the information you needed. 

Laws and norms are in place saying you need to wait for a bit more life experience, because it’s always better to be safe than sorry, and because an older person should never be allowed to judge for themselves whether a younger person who doesn’t know any better is mature enough or not. Those older people who DO know better have to be the adults and say, “you don’t know what you don’t know, and even I don’t know for sure what you don’t know, and so we have to play it safe and not have sex.” Otherwise, they are ignoring consent and that is rape. 

But as a minor, you had no reason to know better. You were not responsible for your actions, just like you wouldn’t have been responsible for your actions if you were statutory raped by someone much older, who fooled you into thinking you could consent. THEY would have been responsible, as an adult with a lot of life experience. But since there were no adults involved in your case, no one was at fault. It was just a case of kind of emotionally risky sex that nobody involved knew was emotionally risky until long after the fact. 

Adult writers and readers are a totally different case. We adults in fandoms know better than to think that minors can consent. That is why many of us think it’s wrong to fantasize about smut concerning a group of people who can’t consent. It’s not because the minors in those stories are doing anything wrong - they (if they existed, which of course they don’t) wouldn’t know any better. The characters are not at fault. It’s the adults reading and writing those scenes who seem to be preoccupied with minors - that’s what’s concerning, because they do know better.

Approach Two: Therapy

The fact that you say you wouldn’t judge others for this, only yourself, indicates to me that this is probably an expression of self-hate or shame which is finding an outlet in…really just whatever it could latch onto. It doesn’t sound like you think this makes sense from a logical perspective. You probably have a long journey ahead of figuring out why you feel called to criticize yourself when you don’t criticize others. That thought pattern will be unique to you, and it will need treatment with a professional. The only advice I can really give is to avoid taking action when you’re spiraling. Just sit still and take care of yourself, and tell someone how you’re feeling so they can also look after you. 

What you are describing in terms of being willing to be killed matches the description of passive suicidal ideation. It is not to be taken lightly. You’re still in pain, even if you’re not a danger to yourself. Please, please see a therapist. I can’t really give advice about this other than the description above. I’m really, really sorry you’re going through this. 

[picturetheypaint]

"There’s no flower in this world more beautiful than an artificial one"

♤ hi this is @ra1ncandies jirai blog! I am a lifestyle jirai/landmine and neet who's been in online spaces for the subculture for around 2 years now. I just recently came back to jiraiblr though. I use she/him pronouns.

♤ You can call me Bunnie/Bun or Bayo!

♤ No set dni I block freely also tw for weed, alcohol, sa, sh, and ed talk/mentions.

♤ pspspspsps go follow my beloved /p @enanyans <3

♤ most of my interests/fandoms are listed on my main blog but currently I'm fixating on persona, re, evangelion, utdr, and how fish is made/mouthwashing ^_^

♤ I also really like sharks, jfashion, art, and technology in general !!

tag guide ;;

♤ #bun squeaks (general talk tag)

♤ #bunbun mail (answered asks tag)

♤ #《bun sponsors》 (general reblog tag)

♤ #bun scribbles (art tag)

♤ #bunnie jams (music sharing tag)

♤ #bunnie rants (discourse posting tag if I do)

(expect more to be added inevitably)

♤ anddddd that should be all?? ty to everyone who read all of this sorry for how long it is :'3

(images n stuff I wanted in this too below)