#Scpd

[alexandraisyes]

Reblog/interact if your blog is a safe space for all people struggling with their Cluster A, B, and C personality disorder regardless of whether they are high or low-functioning in their disorder.

[peculiareyez-flags]

i noticed that several other personality disorders have symbols representing them on their flags, so i wanted to try my hand at making one for szpd based on our own experience.

>the colors are picked from the schizoid flag by @schizoidflagcreator >the thought bubble/cloud represents how our flat affect and emotional numbness hides our complex inner worlds, while also representing introspection and withdraw from external objects >the sun represents how our inner worlds are vibrant and complex >the sun can also represent how socializing with other people can feel intrusive and overwhelming, despite humans being a social species and needing socialization to survive (just like sunlight)

... and any other interpretations you want to apply to it. i would love to hear from other people about what you think of it, and feel free to edit, redesign, recolor, and etc. -- you can tag us if you create something inspired by this symbol but you do not have to.

[schizoid-culture-is]

Schizoid culture is the loneliness that you can't escape. The loneliness that you don't want to escape. You observe and watch humans and you take care of them, but you know that they'll never be able to help you. Usually, they don't want to help you, either. You're alone and it's great, but sometimes you wish you could experience the community that they have. The care that they receive.

-

[dead-orange-club]

Cluster A Personality Disorder userboxes

Flags from this post!

Free to use!!

[rambles-of-mental-illness]

Cluster A Pride/Support Flags

Paranoid Personality Disorder

Schizoid Personality Disorder

Schizotypal Personality Disorder

PPD Flag ScPD Flag STPD Flag

[u5eername]

attempting to self diagnose szpd while having autism may be a new layer of hell good lord

[sch-com]

Specific manifestations of schizoid PD in my life

see similar post for anakastic PD / OCPD

When I first heard of my personality disorders, it was hard for me to notice their role in my life. Part of it was that I was younger, and with less experiences, but part of it was that by nature PDs are so ingrained it's hard to see the full scope of their influence. Particularly I struggled to see the "dysfunction" part - I was thinking that sure, I do experience that, but is it really that bad? And you can't have a PD without the dysfunction, so do I even count? I think that now, after some time and more reflections, I can say I do see the dysfunction, so I thought to share my observations.

Using the DSM V criteria for schizoid PD:

1/ Neither wants nor likes close relationships, counting being part of a family / Has no close friends other than immediate relatives

When I was first moving out for university, I didn't really have any close enough friends I would feel truly comfortable moving with. It limited my choices, and influenced the one I ultimately made (a mistake).

Also, when I was moved out and experienced my first full-blown mental health crisis, I didn't have anyone around me to rely on.

Studying in uni is much harder when I am not talking with people in my class. Normally students support each other, share notes etc I imagine. I have to do everything alone.

Talking to people = opportunities. And support. Real, material support of being physically near. Going to places together, someone having a job opprotunity, hell even having anyone around in case of an emergency.

I suspect at least part of my emotional problems can be attributed to my self-imposed isolation. Occassionaly when I do talk to someone, it's like... an altered mental state, in a good way. When I laugh, I feel physically good. And it's easier to laugh with other people around. It's the little things I think, that are crucial and I am largely missing out on.

2/ Almost constantly picks introverted activities

Sharing what you do can help you progress faster. Sharing your art and getting critique, joining language classes. Sure I can do all of this on my own as well, but it may be sub-optimal. I think it's a matter of balance - and if I consistently choose to opt out of group activities, it could be seen as dysfunctional.

Also again, doing stuff with other people = meeting other people = getting the social connection, vital for even physical health, and gaining access to opportunities and support.

Other people can also motivate you, or keep you accountable for doing something. When I do (almost) everything on my own, I have to well, rely on my motivation / determination, which is often hard (more on that in 4/).

3/ Has little if any, thought in engaging in any sexual experiences

Frankly I am asexual, so I wouldn't say it's causing me any distress. I suppose that lack of sexual life can be viewed as lack of a major life activity, if you want to interpret it that way.

However, somewhat connected to 4/, it's hard for me to say 100% that sex life is something I truly don't want, or if it's just another thing I am opting out of out of the lack of reward. More on that below.

4/ Seldom derives pleasure from any activities

The emotional implications are written into the criterium itself. Lack of pleasure is I think dysfunctional already.

But, adding on the above - lack of pleasure/satisfaction definitely made me lose a lot of motivation for doing anything. I have disengaged from hobbies because of it. I have disengaged from studies, from social activities, from even simple things watching movies, reading, or cooking a good meal because of this. I have to force myself to do pretty much anything. There is not a single thing that I do simply because I truly enjoy it - I need another reason on top, like an obligation.

What I mean by the above, is that... I think I have opted out of things because they don't bring me much emotional reward, not the other way around (so it's NOT that I don't get a lot of joy because I don't do things). I remember when I was younger and more active in life, doing something like travelling, or acomplishing something, and emotionally not getting anything out of it. So I wished I was just in bed and not doing the thing, because at least it's less effort, for the same emotional reward (= lack thereof). And as I became an adult with more control over my day-to-day, I stopped many major life activities because I can. And it's all the same.

5/ Appears apathetic to the admiration or disapproval of others

For me it's largely related to 4/, because I don't get much internal reward from external stimuli, it also manifests in how this criterium describes it.

I've had people believe in me in the past. Try to encourage me, praise me, tell me they see a potential. But I... couldn't believe them. I don't feel this, it's all the same if I am awarded something or not. External rewards don't cause internal reaction, so like why bother? Why bother going after this hard thing, winning a competition, if after I acomplished it it's all the same void? I put the effort into something, only for this to not matter. So I stopped putting so much effort.

I think it may also discourage others from trying to help me, because historically I haven't shown much reaction, or improvement, or gratefulness for their honest efforts. To give up on me, because I seem like this empty shell of a person. But I don't really know, I think it would have to be someone else to confirm this.

6/ Shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity

People told me that I appear flat and so it's hard for them to read me. It's hard to know what I think, and some became afraid that I was judging them, when I... I don't? Overall, this one makes it really hard to connect to others and to be understood. So it makes me feel even more like an alien.

I have also hurt people because of this. Because I detach, I isolate, I forget about people. I am the friend you have to message to get a conversation, or schedule a meetup, because I don't initiate. I know it's a hard position to be in, and I don't want to hurt anyone, so I only disengaged more to not even have any friends that would care about me enough to be hurt by my isolation.

Because I seem all the same (flat and withdrawn) all the time, it's harder to notice when I am struggling. I can be in the throws of depression and actively suicidal, but outward appear pretty much the same. So people don't believe me, not even professionals, and I have been neglected because of this.

[afflictedihuarraquax]

Waiting for a diagnosis - my thoughts

UPDATE: It was BPD with emotional deprivation... Interesting!

I am waiting for my diagnosis and I am firmly convinced that I have schizoid personality disorder.

However, I do not typically portray all the characteristics of this disorder. Here's how I feel:

First of all, I'm consumed by maladaptive daydreaming - I imagine myself talking to someone, or I create fictional characters that I imagine myself interacting with;

I have friends and colleagues, however, there are two scenarios: 1) the people I choose to be close to are unavailable (logistically and/or emotionally), so we see each other infrequently; 2) I feel an emptiness around the people I meet regularly, as if I have nothing to talk to them about;

I feel a deep sense of emptiness;

I feel no pleasure, most of my activities are pass time activities;

I mask my emptiness and boredom in social situations - I have mastered to perfection smiles and the ability to sustain a conversation, even though I am not interested in it;

I prefer to talk about intellectual topics rather than share emotions;

I am incapable of reacting emotionally in the face of tragedy or crisis;

I have a well-ordered life;

When I am off medication (sertraline + aripiprazole) during periods of heightened stress, I experience severe generalized anxiety, resulting in magical and paranoid thinking;

I do not feel sexual tension. In general. I masturbate only when I need to relieve stress;

I tend to fill my emptiness with cigarettes and alcohol (they stimulate my maladaptive daydreaming).

I first noticed some of the symptoms when I was 17. Now I'm 25, and I'm noticing more and more symptoms as a regular part of my behavior. There have been suspicions that I have ASD, but I and the specialists reject the idea due to the lack of problems such as sensory integration disorder or lack of cognitive empathy.

As a child, I was a victim of abuse from one parent and absence from the other parent.

Symptoms that are part of schizoid personality disorder, which I do NOT have:

lack of response to criticism and praise - for me, these are normal feedback on, for example, my work.

Specialists have never suggested that I have schizoid personality disorder. I understand that, given that it is one of the rarer disorders. We'll see what the diagnostician says…

Has anyone had a similar experience?

[sysboxes]

[Text: This system has SCPD.]

[Small text: (Schizoid Personality Disorder)]

[Text: This system has SZPD.]

[Small talk: (Schizoid Personality Disorder)]

[alexandraisyes]

Cluster A Pride/Support Flags

Paranoid Personality Disorder

Schizoid Personality Disorder

Schizotypal Personality Disorder

PPD Flag

ScPD Flag

STPD Flag

[claw-org]

SCPD LOG #6

MINEGISHI TOSHIKI / 峯岸 稔樹 HAS BEEN GIVEN ACCESS TO THIS ACCOUNT. THEY ARE NOW ABLE TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS DIRECTED TOWARDS THEM.

CENSORSHIP IS NOT APPLIED TO MINEGISHI, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

[schizoid-culture-is]

Schizoid culture is being told "I missed you" constantly and not knowing how to answer. You just lie and say "I missed you too!" When you couldn't give a shit. I'm sorry but I don't miss people. I didn't miss you. I don't mind talking with you, it's entertaining. I still have empathy I just, don't miss people I'm sorry. I wish I could connect like others do but I don't.

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[anonaspd]

Anon ASPD

About Me

Name: Anon/Ayata/Cole (No Preference)

Age: 18

Pronouns: He/They/It (He/Him Preferred)

Sexuality: Gay

Interests: Killing Stalking, cold cases, psychology, Silence of the Lambs, game development, writing, classic literature, surgery, medicine, biology, anatomy, + more that I'm not keen on delving into.

Kins: Sangwoo (Killing Stalking), Yoon Bum (Killing Stalking), Clarice Starling (Silence of the Lambs), Akechi Goro (Persona 5 Royal), Ren Hana (Boyfriend To Death 1 and 2), Erik (The Phantom of the Opera), Morpheus (The Sandman), Jason Dean (Heathers), Lestat de Lioncourt (Interview with the Vampire), and Winslow Leach (Phantom of the Paradise)

About The Blog

This blog is for me and others to share their experiences living with ANY personality disorder (Cluster A, B, or C). Asks are always open, so feel free to ask questions or submit an entry. If you are going to submit a post, please be sure to specify that at the beginning of your entry. I will be sharing resources as well as posting generally relatable PD content.

DNI and BYF

DNI: People who believe in "narc abuse", endos and tulpas + their supporters, pro-contact paraphiles and neutral contact paraphiles, radqueers, transID, proshippers with no intention of finding better coping mechanisms, and people who self diagnose with minimal research. Submissions from any of these groups will be disregarded and blocked.

BYF: I am not pro-self diagnosis. I believe it should only be done if there is absolutely no access to psychological support, or if an on-paper diagnosis could be potentially dangerous, and with loads of research.

I do not believe in narc abuse. A disorder cannot hurt you unless you are the one with the disorder. Blame the person instead of generalising a group of people based on a diagnosis.

I am anti endo, tulpa, radqueer, and transID. They are all extraordinarily harmful to the disabled community as a whole. They do not deserve a safe space of any kind. And as for tulpas, they are just straight up racist and cultural appropriators.

I am NOT anti paraphilia or proship. I understand that these are often coping mechanisms for childhood trauma. I however will never support pro or neutral contact paraphiles. Anti-contact is the only acceptable kind of paraphile on this blog. I also believe that proshippers are generally okay as long as they intend on finding a better coping mechanism.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you have a good day.

[svd-mogai]

Cluster A Genderdollic

PPDollic

A gender related to having Paranoid Personality Disorder and being a doll.

SCPDollic

A gender related to having Schizoid Personality Disorder and being a doll.

STPDollic

A gender related to having Schizotypal Personality Disorder and being a doll.

It should go without saying, but please only use these genders if you have the listed PD.

Genderdollic gender system by @chronoport Colors picked from Here. Archive Tags: @radiomogai | @io-archival | @liomipsum

[u5eername]

who up nothing their common human emotions and traits