#Terminology discourse

[nuke-your-mind]

the discourse on wether or not “pillow princess” is a WLW only term pisses me off so bad because not only is it YET AGAIN more stupid gatekeeping discourse but it also ostracizes straight and mspec women from their own sexuality.

people go and try to claim that a woman with a man cannot be a pillow princess. a pillow princess is someone who, in a sexual situation, does little to no work and is on the “receiving” end. this makes NO SENSE to say its a wlw only term.

here are my main problems with it:

1. this reduces people with vaginas to only being able to receive from people with penises or even just masc people. men and masc people can be bottoms/submissive and the suggestion that they cant is bullshit, and then in reverse for fem people.

anyone who thinks people with penises cant receive from someone with a vagina needs to open up their view of sexuality. and im not just talking about straps. there is more than one way to “receive”

2. you are gatekeeping sexuality from women/fem people in het passing relationships when you should be uplifting ALL PEOPLE.

3. bringing down cishet/cishet passing people is NOT PUNK! gatekeeping terminology like pillow princess is exactly how we end up going in circles and never make any progress. exploring ones sexuality and sexual preferences is how we progress, and gatekeeping over stupid menial shit is regression.

pillow princess very well could be an empowering term to your local cishet passing fem person and that is UP TO THEM. controlling other peoples expression of their sexuality is NOT FUCKING PUNK!!

[girlyteeth]

Let's Talk About Girly-Kei Substyle Names!

Since this style has been gaining some popularity in j-fashion communities, I wanted to do a small lesson on how to refer to different styles of girly-kei. I've noticed some strange names being assigned to this style, and I want to clear up any misunderstandings people may have about these terms.

There are many labels people put on this fashion style, but for some reason it's anything but girly. It's understandable how some terms could be mistaken for the name of the fashion, especially since some stereotypes associated with these styles have heavily contributed to the wrong terminology being used. Examples of terms that have been associated with girly-kei are... Ryousangata: (meaning a "mass-produced" type of person, who's heavily involved in wota culture) J*rai-kei: (a stereotype referring to an emotionally unstable person who "explodes like a landmine".) Subcul: (It used to have the meaning of "poser" in Japan, but nowadays it is used to refer to any type of alternative fashion. While this one is more harmless, it doesn't do any good to refer to a style that already has a name as just "subcul fashion")

In the girly-kei community, we label these colour combos a bit similarly to lolita substyles. So, let's name some some girly styles that have been getting popular! Sweet Girly: This style consists of sweeter elements, such as ruffles, bows, hearts, and cute prints. Sometimes, you can find sweet girly sweaters with plushie embroidery! Bijou details are also popular with this style, as the jewels seem to compliment the overall cuteness of these outfits!

Dark Girly: This style focuses on more darker/edgier elements, and these outfits seem to have a more gothic look to it. Characteristics such as chains, leather, and religious imagery can be found in this substyle. Despite the name of this substyle, the clothes don't need to have a dark colour palette. Just as long as they fit the criteria!

French Girly: This style is meant to resemble a more European style of fashion! This elegant style also maintains a sense of simplicity, as their silhouettes and designs tend to be neat. As you can see, berets are especially popular in this substyle, but other accessories such as pearls, gold jewelry, and hairbands are also used in these outfits.

I find that among girly discourse, some argue that "girly-kei" is way too broad of a term, but that's where you can have fun with your outfits! It's not a requirement to specifically adhere to a certain substyle when wearing girly-kei fashion, and honestly just wear what makes you happy! A lot of these substyles can overlap as a result, which can create pretty cool outfits!

Referring to these substyles by their proper name not only sounds nicer, but it can help erase stigma around wearing girly fashion as a whole.

If you wish to read about more substyles such as otona girly, retro girly, himekaji (yes, even the gyaru substyle can be considered girly!) and casual girly, there is a more detailed list of all the different substyles in their aesthetics section! Thank you for reading <3

[mxjackparker]

Are you interested in being an ally to sex workers, but are unsure where to start?

Let's start with what words you should use to refer to sex workers, and why. It’s great to know the preferred terminology, but allyship requires a little more than that. Consider the implications that different words have in terms of racism and classism and general whorephobia! A digital zine:

(You can sign up for free here for regular articles and resources on allyship with sex workers!)

[visexual-maelstrom]

i think everyone is entitled to their opinions. so as long as nobody's being a dick to the cast or other fans, then you can feel however you wanna feel about the episode

having said that, i think there's a disconnect in how the fandom thinks of the crown keepers and how the cast does

the amount of times i've seen the crown keepers be called "the spinoff" or "the side quest" or just straight up "filler episode" tells me that a lot of people don't think these guys are a part of this story

but they are. they have been since the start. they're very much intertwined with bells hells and the events of c3. heck, they have more connections to the gods than our group does. so you know they're gonna play a big role in the upcoming arc and final battle

[myfandomrealitea]

What is "comship" and "safeship?"

(I saw an anti tag their anti ship post with #safeship which doesn't make sense to me but I was afraid to ask them lmao)

Comship and safeship both have multiple meanings and modern usage.

"Comship" is shorthand for "complex ship." This is being used by both antis and proshippers but is currently being hailed as an "alternative to proship" by most people.

"Comship" is also shorthand for "comfort ship," although you may sometimes see it spelt as "comfship."

"Safe ship" is another term for "comfort ship." That one pairing which is just homey, always hits the feel good spot, ect.

*Some antis are using "safeship" as a way to mark their account as "safe for shipping" excluding proship or questionable/dark content. So essentially a place that is "safe" to "ship normally."

Seeing them being used together is definitely a contradiction; but its likely they were just using the tags for exposure and to generate interaction. Its a common tactic used by both proshippers and anti-shippers.

(For example if I make a post which is relative to both anti shipping and proshipping, and/or I want discussion from both sides, I will use both the anti-ship tag and the proship tag.)

*Some proshippers also use #shippingsafe or #safeshipper to indicate they are a "shipping safe space."

[duffledunce]

mfers got "proship dni" in their bio meanwhile theyre drawing creepypasta ship art lol do u know what ur talking about ever or do u just superficially align urself w reactionary ideologies all the time

[rouge-the-bat]

"you cant label your identity like that!" "you cant label your oppression with this term!"

actually, you cant define someone elses life for them, ever. there are no exceptions to this.

[dyspunktional-leviathan]

Almost* every single post that tries to single out either "physically disabled" people and non-psychiatric medical system or "mentally" divergent people and the psychiatry as respectively a uniquely suffering/oppressed group and a uniquely oppressive system also applies to the other.

*Originally I said "literally", but then thought about some aspects of psychiatry that are specific to it as a system. The majority of the tumblr antipsych posts that position it as unique are not talking about those.

P.S. What I mean by putting disabled in quote marks is that not everyone is disabled by their divergencies, not that no one is actually disabled. I also, I mean, the entire post is about it all being the same (extremely diverse) category, mean the same about "mental" divergencies.

Also, this was intially going in the tags, but decided to put it here instead. I should really get more into the Crip terminology. I'm just very disabled and very focused on being very disabled, a lot of my #disabilityposting is specifically about "a lot of people are very dis-abled by their disabilities actually". But that could be a category of crip-posting.

I've thought of writing some kind of Crip Manifesto a long time ago, but well, disabled.

[guardwyrm]

hello nonhuman community, what odd pair do you and your partner make, if they’re nonhuman as well? my mate is a kitsune/fox spirit, and it makes for a pretty metal pairing, especially when i draw us looking badass in art LOL. she’s also a unicorn, so the like dragon/unicorn trope is perfect for us and i love it . some art i’ve done of us

[pawberri]

Hi! If you don’t mind me asking, what’s transmisogyny ? I don’t really understand how it’s different from transphobia + misogyny but I get that there’s probably something new that arises from the intersection of the two terms or else there wouldn’t be a term for it

[cambriancrew]

Except we have evidence that system hopping originated in the general plurality community, not the ramcoa survivor community. The idea that it came from the ramcoa community was because a single ramcoa survivor used it for their own system, long after it was established as a term in the general plurality community.

No clue about side system though, but I strongly suspect the same sort of thing happened there.

Semi hot take but I really wish anti endos would stop taking terms made by the endo community and claiming they were originally ramcoa terms just as a gotcha. This has happened twice both with the terms system hopping and side systems both are endo created terms but are now being claimed that they were originally ramcoa terms probably to make the endo community look bad. Like I get the endo community has some problems with taking terms and shit but we can’t just start making stuff up now.

.

[telltaletypist]

genq, why does coming from a place of (very valid and understandable tbc) hurt and frustration justify specifically transphobia and misgendering

i mean it doesn't but we're talking about very different levels of proportionate harm here. like people on here get angrier about trans women calling people theyfabs than they do about (sigh) "tme's" disproportionately excluding and vilifying trans women from queer spaces which is the source of the animosity that gives rise to terms like theyfab. like they didn't start using it just to be mean for no reason

[hussyknee]

could it not also be considered androphobia that trans men don’t actually “count” as men when it comes to lesbians…???

What?

Policing the way you self-identify is inherently oppressive and queerphobic, and the particular way it's levelled at trans mascs is transandrophobic. Insisting that trans men can't be lesbians and that lesbians can't be attracted to trans men denies the fact that you can't pick most trans men out of a lesbian lineup, that being assigned female informs a lot of trans mascs' experiences, that they experience most of the same oppressions as women, and rejects the belonging they found in the lesbian identity while sussing out their gender (which may not even be a fixed thing). Like, fucking hell, you're attracted to what someone looks and behaves like, their aesthetic, their energy, their vibes. NOT whether they check the right gender box on a questionnaire. Male is an internal identity that can mean a lot of things. It has nothing to do with who's attracted to you or how you experience attraction.

Also like...the gender binary isn't real lol. Y'all think women and men occupy oppositional sides like a tennis court, and that all other genders fall into one or the other and never the twain shall meet. So that when a Man™ falls into the orbit of a sexuality that predominantly centers fems/women, or when that sexuality doesn't completely exclude all attraction to mascs/men, y'all have an entire cow about it.

Edited to clarify: I meant that the majority of trans mascs are pre-transition, not that no trans masc in any state of transition can look like anything but a woman. Begging y'all to remember that the vast majority of trans people are not medically transitioned because of socio-economic reasons, most are closeted to some extent and (can't find the stats on dysphoric vs. non-dysphoric trans people) some trans mascs don't/ can't even wear binders. And even cis gays mix up femme twinks and butch lesbians. Being able to be shielded among the cis gay community and its allies is one of trans folks's most important protections.

[cambriancrew]

The whole argument over whether systemmates can be referred to as nonverbal? Saying they can't and that nonverbal applies only to the body as a whole excludes systems and only systems. It's plurmisia at its finest.

No other disorder or disability term has that restriction. Not blind, not deaf, etc.

So why nonverbal?

Could it, perhaps, be because the only systems a chunk of that community have talked to, are systems that identify as parts, not people? Maybe??

I don't think altering terminology is the fix here. I think fixing the misunderstanding about how some systems function and identify is the solution.

[dyspunktional-leviathan]

Use words for their actual fucking meanings.

No, that random person who was ableist about wheelchair accessibility isn't "abled" or "able-bodied" just because they aren't using a wheelchair. You can say "non wheelchair users" when that is what you mean. Disabled people, shocker, are capable of being ableist. And you if you call random people abled just because they don't have a specific disability being immediately obvious, are doing exactly that, too.

Yes, that ADHDer who posts about social theory of disability and how in non-ableist world their ADHD would not cause them any problems is developmentally disabled. You can say "severe/profound developmental disability", "medium/high support needs", etc, when that is what you mean.

Yes, psychologically-traumagenic mental illness is cognitive disability. You can say "developmental cognitive disability" when that is what you mean. You can say "brain damage" when that is what you mean.

No, literally fucking no disabled person is "able-bodied" because central nervous system is a fucking part of the body. Throw that entire term in the trash.

No, "nervous system" does not mean "central nervous system". Stop it. Stop. It. Say "central nervous system" when that is what you mean. Stop only using "neurological" to refer to central nervous system.

Might later do more. For now will post this like this.

[outeremissary]

So much of my brainpower for the past day has been consumed by seeing someone call the use of the word nonbinary in a non-historical generic fantasy setting an anachronism. I have so many layers of thoughts about that