#aegosexuality

[acexualien]

[badatparties]

To the best I can tell, sexual attraction is the desire to have sex with a specific person for physical reasons.

Aces don't experience this. Aces can still find people beautiful, have a libido, masturbate, and seek out porn. Aces can enjoy sex and like kink and be in relationships of all kinds.

— Ace by Angela Chen

[wanderingmind867]

I find that romance is hard to define, while sex is just sex. Sexual stuff is way easier to understand. It's easier to understand, which made it easier for me to come terms with my own sexuality. But with the romantic attraction scale... it's way harder to figure stuff out, because I don't even know what romance really is. I don't know how to define it, I don't know what it really is. That lack of knowledge is partially why I think I'm aromantic, since I never, ever feel romantic attraction in real life. But because I know so little about romance, it's not something I feel confident discussing. So it's all just confusing to me. I wish it was as simple as the sex revelation was. I hate complicated things like this. sigh...

[certifiedsexed]

How is aegosexual different from asexual? Like, I don't really see a difference? It just seems like asexual. I'm ace myself and I have sexual fantasies but don't want to have sex. Y'know? I just don't get how it differs

Well, it falls under the asexual umbrella so it's actually a type of asexuality!

There are asexuals who don't have sexual fantasies and don't want to have sex, or asexuals who don't have sexual fantasies but do have sex (with others). They fall under the asexual umbrella too.

Aegosexual is simply a term for a specific type of asexual, not a completely separate identity from asexuality.

I'm not sure if that makes sense but lemme know! <3

[mostly-minecraft-zvahl]

The language is different than what we use now, but I think this is describing Aegosexuality?

(Source: There’s more to life than sex? Difference and commonality within the asexual community, Mark Carrigan, 2011.)

[lilliaespi]

Some aegosexuals enjoy physical sex and thats okay

Some aegosexuals enjoy masturbation and that's okay

Some aegosexuals enjoy group sex and that's okay

Some aegosexuals enjoy bdsm, kink, and/or fetish activities and that's okay

If you're aegosexual and not okay with some of the bullet points, that's fine! But please don't shame or live in the illusion of "ALL AEGOSEXUALS HATE PHYSICAL INTIMACY". That's wrong.

Aegosexual only means we feel disconnected between how we interpret and understand sexual experiences.

@aego-culture-is @aegosexual-moments tagging Aego blogs 🏳️‍🌈💜

[myrioll]

Asexual me:

I am happy that the love between M and M is shown as platonic because it's important that friendship is valued as a respectable and full form of love 😊

Aegosexual me:

I don't care what's canon. I want them to fuck 😌

[theoppositequeens]

look around, look inside

Fandom: The Empyrean (Fourth Wing) Rating: T Tags & warnings: Underage sex, Asexuality, Aegosexual Bodhi Durran

Read on Ao3 here.

So here is the emotional glass bauble I wrote at 2 am tonight. Please treat it with care? <3 And if it hits close to home for someone else, feel free to come talk to me!

Thank you, @shipmistress9 for betaing this🖤🤍💜 And @ellebellewritesfic my darling, for unwavering support!

Written for Bodhi Week 2025 by @empyreanevents Day 1: Right Hand. Title from Dye the Water Green - Bibio.

look around, look inside

Sometimes Bodhi wonders if there's something wrong with him.

It's been like that since he was a teenager. All around him, his friends were talking about first kisses and crushes, and those he could get behind, but then it started being about sex. And he started pretending – at first not even consciously, because yeah, the idea of sex was nice. He used to daydream and think about it and it definitely got him going. Bodhi listened in awe to Garrick and Xaden when they let him sit in on their discussions about conquests, and in theory it was hot and interesting, but he started feeling squeamish when they teased him about who he'd try it out with.

His cousin and his cousin's best friend usually let him off the hook, not pressing when he started blushing and avoiding the question. His friends were more forthright, and Bodhi definitely answered things like which girl in class is the prettiest? or which girl has the nicest legs? But it was the whole if you had to choose who you'd want to give you a blowjob, who would it be? and all the other similar questions. He never understood the concept of wanting that. Their group of friends used to watch the infantry that were garrisoned at Aretia to keep the peace, and scan over the cadets, pointing them out. Bodhi usually just defaulted to saying he'd prefer his current crush, or then he picked the objectively most attractive person.

Bodhi understands beauty.

He finds people beautiful and can appreciate their looks, but he's never looked at someone and gotten turned on. He's never looked at someone and thought: yeah, I want to fuck that person.

It's not like he didn't kiss girls when he was younger – and a few boys, just to be sure – but nothing ever made him want to do more. It was just something one did, and the kissing is nice, he enjoys that – to a point.

Sometimes he wonders if he liked the idea that they liked him. If maybe the mental representation of their desire was what turned him on. If being wanted was the motivation behind even trying, or if it was peer pressure.

It confuses the shit out of him, because it's not like he doesn't get aroused.

That part of him works just fine, thank you very much, and he can get off by himself: fast or slow or edging himself until he blanks out from how good the orgasm is.

The idea of sex is hot. The dirty Tyrrish sonnets he snuck into his own room from the library to read in his teens were damn enjoyable. And if there were some suspicious stains on them when he returned them, no one will ever know who it was.

For a while, after the apostasy, Bodhi just thought maybe the trauma had killed his libido. Even if he woke hard sometimes in the mornings, he felt no need to sate that urge with another person, and he chalked it up to grief.

Then he tried having sex, and it didn't go too well.

Mostly, it was pressure. The place he was fostered in had a lot of young maids and a lot of young working-class boys and Bodhi was – reluctantly – educated alongside them. He was already different enough, and since everyone was fooling around, he would have stuck out even more if he didn't.

Turns out after some trial and error, that he is capable. It's just that it's not sexy or arousing when it's his own body doing things, his own self doing things. If he sort of goes into his own head, distances himself until he's almost thinking in third person, almost seeing it happen to his own body like a spectator, then it's enjoyable enough. If he imagines while the things are happening to him, that they're happening to someone else – a fictional character, a faceless representation, a person he's admired from afar – that works too.

The worst thing is: he still has crushes. He's fucking capable of love, just not being sexually attracted to the person, and it kills him. He wants the companionship, the kisses, the intimacy of knowing someone so well, the shared life and the cuddles and to be loved in return.

But they expect sex. And he can give it to them, but it's a chore. It requires going away in his own head, and he feels like he's constantly betraying his partner by not being mentally present, by faking the enthusiasm. It's not like he doesn't aesthetically appreciate their bodies, because he does. He admires them, thinks them lovely and beautiful and knows they're objectively attractive.

He's jarred out of his mind too often during sex, and that's what's exhausting. The need to constantly reweave his fantasy as it's interrupted by real life. In his head, there's no awkward moments or limbs in the wrong place or sounds that trigger his gag reflex or breathing that goes into his ear. No comments that he has to actually respond to, no partner whose comfort he has to see to.

It's easier when he's on the receiving end, so Bodhi goes for men. Easier to be more passive, be the one that gets fucked – and the physical sensations work just as well, because most of the work on getting off happens within his head. A hand on his cock, steady thrusts, kisses down his stomach: it only feels nice if he imagines it's not happening to him.

Reality isn't attractive, but he can get off on it, if he does his best. After, he dislikes the sensations in his own body. Dislikes the cleanup and the realism and the wetness and stickiness. Feels like a fraud, cuddling up to a partner and responding yeah, for me too to breathless whispers about how good it was.

It feels like a fucking transaction to buy their love with his discomfort.

And it's a lie.

Because he never tells. There's clearly something wrong with him, something that doesn't function as it should. And putting himself on the line like that... Well, no one pre-Basgiath is that loyal to a marked one. Bodhi is afraid that if his – generally short-lived – relationships end, they'll spread the news. So he swallows all the discomfort, all the worry. He makes himself a sexual creature with determination and anxiety and tears and avoidance and hard work.

People make sex and attraction look so easy.

It runs rampant through Basgiath, once he gets there, and Bodhi watches Garrick fuck his way through half the population, Imogen eye the men with interest, Xaden choose his hookups carefully when they're not caused by dragon lust.

He's thankful Cuir isn't bonded, because he's not sure how he would react to being attracted to people he sees in front of him. He's scared it would be a completely new feeling, something he's never felt in his life. It would confirm that all this time he's just been playing pretend, trying to force himself to think that he is attracted physically to people. Cuir soothes him, tells him that among dragonkind it is not abnormal to not want a mate.

But Bodhi wants a mate. He just doesn't want to mate. Cuir doesn't get the distinction.

No one notices, here, that he doesn't do hookups. They all assume he's just discreet. Garrick ribs him for being secretive and Bodhi lies his ass off then, leads him intentionally into certain assumptions while the others chuckle. Xaden sometimes throws him searching glances that make Bodhi think he knows. Or at least suspects. His cousin has always known when Bodhi is lying.

But Xaden never says anything. He only shifts closer in the crowded, small room, presses his shoulder into Bodhi's – a solid, comforting touch that Xaden will never know how much Bodhi appreciates.

Bodhi watches Xaden fall for Violet. He watches Garrick and Imogen dance around their feelings.

He feels incredibly jealous, but he doesn't dare try. Finding someone who could want him, without sex, seems like too much to ask. And Bodhi is firm on the line now. He won't compromise anymore. He won't force himself into something he dislikes so intensely.

And besides, does he really need love?

He has the platonic love of his friends, his found family. He lives somewhat well enough on their touches and hugs and comfort. He's not touch-starved or lacking for people to share his troubles with.

He has his own right hand for sexual pleasure, and his own mind to feed the fantasies he comes up with.

Is it greedy of him to want more?

[mooncaps]

Too horny for the puritans. Not horny enough for the allosexuals.

[fandomsupremacist]

hello aegosexuals!! I have received quite the amount of love for my other post on aegosexual memes!

Again I have come with a good supply of more! But they lack in quality a little more this time so idk.

Anyway enjoy u bitchless bitches xo 🤗

[thequeenwickedwoodfairy]

Well... this surely says nothing about me...

The only one that's half yes and half no is "you're a slut in theory, but never in practice" because, honestly looking at myself, no, but then I look at my music taste and, yes, soooo yeah.

[acexualien]

Forgot to post this on here yesterday. Happy ACE WEEK 2024!

[lgbtq-userboxes]

Requested by nubpher

[certifiedsexed]

I saw your latest post about what sexual attraction is, but can someone find someone good looking, and feel drawn to them in a way, but have no interest at all and maybe even better repulsed at the idea of doing anything sexual with them? Could this be considered aegosexuality?

Thank you

Yep! That's very possible.

I don't know whether that'd be considered aegosexuality, though. I may be wrong but as far as I know, aegosexuality is more about experiencing things like arousal, enjoying certain sexual things [like pornography, masturbation] but having no interest in physical sex.

You didn't mention any interest in general sexual things though, so you could still be aegosexual, I just don't have enough context to say!

I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any other questions, Anon! <3

[wanderingmind867]

I feel like I masturbate a lot, but I don't know if that's actually because I even enjoy it. It's something where the enjoyment is quick and very minimal. To use a metaphor (since it helps me distance myself from this embarassing topic): it's like going on a roller coaster ride, or like how everyone describes drugs. There's the emotional high, and then immediately afterwards you experience a big comedown and a feeling of shame and embarrassment. That's how it works for me. I masturbate almost once or twice a week, but I almost always feel ashamed afterwards. I don't know what this says about me, but i feel like it has to say something.

In any case, this could be part of my aegosexuality. Or this could just be a me thing. It feels like a me thing, honestly. Because only i seem to feel such self inflicted shame after a sexual act. I know it's nothing too shameful, but I still get all in my head about it. It's kind of weird, and I don't like it. I don't know what I can do about it, but i felt like the least i could do was vent about it here. At least that might help me get all this stuff off my chest? I don't know, it was just a thought on my behalf.