#and things have improved 1000%

[rainbow-sunshine-unicorn]

The entrance scene to Lady Danbury’s ball is one of my most favourite scenes from Season 3 because there’s so many little details, and interesting tidbits that show the dynamics between these characters beautifully.

But I feel like a lot of these small but important details are missed, simply because this scene is a really quick one. So, let me breakdown some of my personal favourite bits from this scene:

Starting with, Anthony entering, proudly with his Viscountess on his arm. His head is held high and there’s even a spring in step. He’s so freaking happy to be walking in with Kate!!

But, besides being Kate’s proud husband, he’s also Francesca’s worrisome big brother and so he turns around check on her and when he sees that she’s feeling apprehensive, he holds her hand and tucks it into the crook of his elbow to remind her that he’s right beside her, to support her

While, Anthony comforts Francesca, Kate keeps the attention off them by dealing with all the polite courtesies and by complimenting Lady Danbury’s skills as a hostess.

Which distracts Lady Danbury from Anthony and Francesca long enough to preen at her Ball and also gives Anthony another convenient reason to keep falling deeper in love with his wife

Benedict and Colin are on their best behaviour because they are in Kate’s direct line of sight and she’s smiling sweetly at them and they absolutely will not be the reason she’s disappointed.

And for once, Violet Bridgerton is simply looking forward to a Ball

[fulgurbugs]

hey man you feeling ok? not to inadvertently project on you, disregard me completely if this doesn’t apply, but the post you just posted is exactly the kind of thing I said to myself when I was stuck in a depressive episode and didn’t realize it yet. are you alright?

it’s all ups and downs right now mostly. i graduated recently so ive been kind of. stuck at home and not enjoying having to live with my parents again (nothing unsafe but basically im annoyed all the time now)

job hunting makes me genuinely upset and ruins my whole day and i only recently managed to land a job with full time hours, but it’s housekeeping so it’s super tiring and draining and i’m still getting used to the change in routine, and i’m also you know. hoping to eventually find a job in my field that my degree is useful for

because of all that other shit and just general lack of motivation i have barely been drawing and when i try to draw for myself i have been kind of hating my results recently, and im just kind of hoping with some time ill get over it and start wanting to draw literally anything again because its making me a little (a lot) upset how burnt out i am

basically it’s a combination of not having the financial ability to live by myself combined with the fucking. hard shit of just doing like physical labor 40 hours a week for minimum looming over me for the foreseeable future that’s kind of fucking me up sometimes. but also like. i’m not doing so so terrible like worst place ive ever been bad (i think)

like i do at least now finally have a full time job (my old job was giving me like 17 hours max a week) which means i can start saving, and like. hehe twirls hair my wonderful partner is ofc there for me so im not like. completely emotionally isolated and i also have like. a hopeful and pretty clear picture of where i want to be in the future (moved the fuck out with them) which is keeping me from doomspiraling into feeling like i’ll be living with my parents forever lol

i dunno i feel like. a lot of my anxiety is partially also kind of state of the world stuff (fuck this stupid baka rent market) so there’s really. not much i can do immediately and personally about it except try and do my best rn lol

[strawberri-draws]

Some different concepts for a game me and a friend are working on :)

[tempests-bards-and-birds]

wow the barbara-centric fic i was writing that was meant to be haha funny crack surrounding the whole thing of her being Oblivious to venti's identity has morphed into angst surrounding the questioning and potential collapse of the faith and religion that she has built her entire life on only to find out that maybe her god isn't so different from her at all and that maybe they're both suffering and imperfect in similar ways and that. yeah wow who could've guessed that this would happen

[rigelmejo]

I think a degree of why Dreaming Spanish is successful for people, is not even that it's an 'only comprehensible input' approach. I think it's successful for so many people, because Dreaming Spanish specifies how many hours a student needs to study to hit various progress milestones.

And a lot of 'traditional' students who study with classes, do not necessarily pay attention to if they studied much outside of class. They may not even pay attention to how many hours of time, in the grand span of their life, they dedicated to learning the language. If you're in classes, and you're studying Spanish 50-100 hours a month, you WILL study the language 600-1200 hours in that year, and you will likely match up to Dreaming Spanish level 4 (A2) or level 6 (B1) skills at the end of the year. If you study Spanish in classes, and you're studying 50-100 hours a month, then in 2 years you will have: 1200 hours to 2400 hours, so DS Level 6 (B1) or past DS Level 7 (B2+, well on your way to C1). For traditional students who DO study 50-100 hours a month, they'll reach decent skill levels in 1-2 years. For traditional students who study less hours per month, they'll probably still reach a decent level if they just keep studying several hours a week regularly for enough years. For Dreaming Spanish learners, who are just following the DS roadmap, they'll reach decent skill levels in a similar amount of hours to those traditional students.

(And a note: FSI estimates are similar to Dreaming Spanish estimates. FSI estimates each week a student is studying 40 hours, which is WAY more than most traditional learners study in a week... and WAY more than most Dreaming Spanish learners learn in a week. FSI estimates 30 weeks to learn Spanish at 40 hours of study a week, or 1200 hours.)

My point is... it seems to be more about hours spent learning, rather than any particular study method or material. Whatever study activities you can get yourself to do, for hundreds to thousands of hours, is what will cause you to reach your goals. The specific route you take, and materials you use, do not matter very much in the big picture.

[jusiri]

The more drawing tutorials I watch the more I understand there's not actually any 'proper' way to draw things, it's literally just 'find something you want to draw, draw it, and then draw it 12,000 more times'

and thats it

[hellsquills]

Do you think Ford knew how old he was when he came back? Because I don't think so.

He's been all around the multiverse, in places that definitely didn't follow the laws of physics of his home dimension. Time works differently depending on the place he lands on, and he never gets used to any of them because he knows he'll have to leave sooner or later.

So time passes. He can feel himself age, of course, but he doesn't know how long it's been since he fell through the portal. When he looks at himself in the mirror, he can see wrinkles paired with new scars, and his hair is getting grayer, but that could simply be a sign of stress. And sure, his body hurts when he wakes up, but he's constantly on the move and sleeping anywhere he can, obviously he's not going to be in the best shape! All things considered, he's a pretty fit man for any age, and whatever years he's been alive for is not his priority right now.

When he comes back home, after his first encounter with Stan, he finally gets a moment to think about his new and old family. His brother looks older, obviously, and certainly different from what he imagined (not that he thought about him often, of course not). His hair is whiter than his own, and he has even more wrinkles than him! Just how badly was he taking care of himself in the... how many years... wait, did he say 30?!

I don't think Ford was necessarily thinking of a higher or lower number. I don't think he expected anything more or less: the way he sees it, it could've been anywhere from 10 to 1000 years. Time was meaningless between dimensions. I think that the sole reminder that time still passed was what got to him.

That shock came full force after Weirdmageddon, when he realized that Stan was his same age, despite the differences in their physiques. It was the fact that they were both around 60 years old, and they had been apart for 40 years. Two whole thirds of their lives. They were supposed to grow old together, maybe not in the same house (or boat), but close to each other. That, paired with how old and worn down Stan looks, Ford can't help but feel like he's now years younger than him, and he hates thinking about it because with the way Stan had been living for the last 40 years, just how much longer- no, stop, don't think about it.

Ford's paranoia turns into hypochondria, but towards his brother. This translates as Ford desperately trying to cut Stan's bad habits (such as alcohol and smoking), making sure he eats well (Ford can't cook for shit) and semi-forcing him to do some exercise. Stan is not on board with these measures, and he lets his brother know just that because he's being bossy and annoying and he would like to enjoy his amnesia in peace please. Ford is as stubborn as a mule, but eventually he gives up and just begs Stan to please consider some of his suggestions because he wants him to be better. Stan still refuses, but every once in a while Ford catches him doing some exercise by himself or ordering a non alcoholic drink, and it makes him happy.

When they return to Gravity Falls, the twins look the most identical they've looked since they were like 10: Stan's eyes have a shine that Soos had never seen before, and his new and improved posture makes him look taller, like the weight of the world had been lifted off of him. Ford, on the other hand, has a fuller face and body, his expression is now softer and somewhat kinder, and he walks much more carelessly, like he's strolling instead of marching.

Ford doesn't care how old he is anymore, because now he's growing old next to his brother.

[vergils-beloved]

shoutout to selfshippers who have an f/o that's helped them significantly with their mental illness or other problems!! whether you completely recovered or just improved THAT'S WONDERFUL!! loving someone and being loved is such a beautiful thing :3

your f/o loves you so deeply and wants to see and help you get better. they will absolutely do whatever they can to help you, be it through gentle reassurance or through some firmer pushes if you need them! you are the love of their life and they want nothing more than for you to be happy. when they notice the improvement they are overjoyed and so so proud of you

and if you experience setbacks they will 1000% not judge or blame you for it. they understand that the road to recovery is a difficult one and that it's not straight. remember that you are loved and taken care of even when you feel like your f/o could never love you. because the reality is that they do love you, forever and always

[geeky-politics-46]

Surgery Headcanon

How would my favorite Marvel men react to you having surgery. 

I'm getting my gallbladder taken out in a couple of weeks, it will be my first surgery ever, so this is 100% self-indulgent. That's part of why I've been so absent this year, I've had an organ rebelling.

Doctor Stephen Strange 

Will ask who your doctor is to see if he knows them. If not, he may send a referral to a trusted former colleague on your behalf. He's not letting you under the knife unless he knows you have a good surgeon.

Will tell you how routine the surgery is if you are starting to worry. Almost a bit blasé about your concerns, after all, bedside manner was never his strong suit as a surgeon. Plus, it really is a routine, laparoscopic procedure. Way less intricate & dangerous than neurosurgery.

1000% will try to micromanage everything once you're at the hospital prepping for or immediately out of surgery. He wants to see your chart. He wants to know what your most recent vitals are. Hell, he may have even asked if he can observe the surgery. Partly, it's him being overprotective, partly it's because he misses being a doctor.

Definitely breaking into the doctor's lounge for the good coffee, not the instant crap in the cafeteria.

After you are home, he will be vigilant about making sure you take your pain meds & will check your incisions to make sure everything is healing well. You are in very safe, if slightly neurotic hands.

Secretly, or not so secretly, enjoying getting to play doctor again to take care of you. Looking forward to when you are well enough that you can play doctor and patient the really fun way.

Bucky Barnes 

May actually be a bigger mess than you are. Thanks to Hydra, medical anything makes his anxiety shoot through the roof. Now piled on top of that, he feels out of control & helpless to make you feel better.

Would have to be physically dragged out of your hospital room, so the hospital staff just lets the whole “visitors hours” thing slide.

The second you wake up, he is by your side asking if you need anything. Probably didn't sleep or even sit down the entire time you were in surgery.

If you even make an odd face, he's asking if you are in pain, and he has become a huge pain in the ass for your nurses. 

May have thought about threatening your surgeon about if something went wrong.

Either guard dog mode, or he completely shuts down. There is no in between. 

Afraid he's going to break you while you are recovering. Offers to sleep on the floor or on the couch just in case. Doesn't want to let you out of his sight until you are healed. 

Steve Rogers

Tells you over and over how everything will be okay and that you are in good hands.

May tell you stories about how much hospitals and medical stuff has improved since he was so sick before the serum.

Reads up on your surgery and your doctors. He wants to understand as much as he can about what is going on. He probably has more questions for the doctor than you do.

Puts on a brave face for you but secretly will be a little nervous. He hates seeing you sick or in pain, and he can't help but worry a little bit.

Will respect hospital rules but will stay up until the very last minute of visiting hours are over. Knows the names of every nurse and doctor treating you. 

Definitely has flowers or a stuffed bear for you as soon as you wake up from surgery. 

Dotes on your every need once you are home and watches you like a hawk. The first few days, he doesn't even let you go to the bathroom by yourself. You can't get away with shortcutting your recovery under his eye. 

Sam Wilson

Buys you a cute, silly stuffed version of whatever you are having surgery on to make you laugh. See my new stuffed sad gallbladder plush as reference here.

All the nurses love him, and he likes to crack jokes with all the staff. Offers to help with anything he can but mostly tries to stay out of their way.

Trying to make you smile all the way until they wheel you to the OR. He doesn't want you to be scared or nervous. 

Like Steve, he will put on a brave face but will be nervous once you are in surgery. Lots of pacing back & forth. Lots of trips to the coffee machine.

Takes care of you once you are home but not quite as mother hen as Steve. Will let you judge what is best for you, but will 100% call you out if he sees you doing something the doctor told you not to.

Will also rat you out to your doctor if you don’t follow their instructions. He doesn't want to snitch, but he'd also rather not be the one to scold you.

Loki

Doesn't like the idea of someone operating on you. Trained surgeon or not, they are still just a simple Midgardian.

Doesn't like the hospital one bit. Comments on the color and decor, even the hideous hospital gown you have to wear. Partly to make you laugh, partly because it was all truly hideous.

If your surgeon even hesitates on a question you ask, Loki will assume they aren't the best and demand another doctor. You may have to talk him down a bit. He's a prince, after all, and he wants to make sure you are in the best hands possible.

The whole thing seems a bit barbaric to him. He would much have preferred using magic or Asgardian ways to heal you, but alas when on Midgard. 

Secretly terrified something will happen to you, but would never tell you he's worried. Doesn't like that he can't do anything to help you.

Is not very used to taking care of people, and as royalty, he's the one used to being waited on, but he will try his best to do whatever you need him to do.

Will probably mostly ignore instructions from the doctor so you are in charge of that part of your care, but he will beg to accelerate your healing with his magic if he can.

Eddie Brock & Venom

Venom brings you chocolates, which he then eats after you tell him he can, and says not to worry because if the doctors don't take proper care of you he will bite off their heads and eat their brains.

Eddie is nervous but trying to be brave, so you won't be scared. It doesn't help that Venom keeps telling Eddie not to make you nervous, which then, in turn, makes him nervous. He will try to make jokes and keep you entertained however he can.  

Eddie and Venom try not to argue while they wait for you to get done with surgery. The last thing you need is to wake up and find out that they ended up in the psych ward for talking to/arguing with themselves in the waiting room. They are on their best behavior.

Both of them try to wait on you hand and foot after you get home. You've had to eat several well-meaning but truly gross breakfasts in bed so as not to disappoint either of them. They mean so well, but neither of them can cook beyond tater tots.

You have woken up to Venom staring at you because “one of us has to watch you at all times until you are recovered”. He took that 100% seriously. He has also stuck tendrils under the bathroom door like cat paws.

One great thing about Venom is the fact that thanks to his tendrils, he can literally get anything you need from around the apartment in seconds without you or Eddie having to get up. This makes him one of the best nurses ever. All you have to do is hint that you want something and boom, it's there.

[saintshadow]

Are they your soulmate/ What is the purpose of this connection?

PILE I

So, I want to preface by saying- soulmates come in MANY forms! A soulmate will not always be in your life forever, you two have absolutely connected in a past life and there's a lot of love and renewal here. Perhaps the person on your mind is someone you'd LIKE to renew a connection with here & I do believe it's possible this could happen. It seems like this person showed up in your life in order to uplift & up level you & to show you your power.

This person is a high level connection, but it takes effort and transformation on both parts. This is absolutely worth long term investment 1000% if things are going well & the relationship is healthy I would absolutely encourage you to take them seriously.

The purpose of this connection is to transform both of your images & lives for the better. I do believe there is strong potential for engagement or even marriage in this connection.

I heard "long term commitment".

Signs, Symbols, and Synchronicities:

Seashells, animal crossing, Carl Jung, Pisces, Aquarius, Gemini, Leo, Capricorn, Cancer, Animism, Black Hole Sun.

PILE II

(some of y'all may be drawn to certain parts of this message, so if the chasing/toxicity doesn't resonate check another pile OR find a different reading 🥰😚)

This person is definitely a past life love, but it's kind of clear to me that y'all are chasing this person with little to nothing in return. I would say this is definitely a very psychic connection, and there are forms of compatibility but I see here that someone may be emotionally unavailable. Perhaps it's even you, and on that note I beg the question.

If you want to be with this person why are you forcing them to chase you? And how is that going to help you feel any more secure when they inevitably give up? And if you're the one chasing, why chase? Do you believe that you're undeserving of love?

It feels like you both are just there trying to make something right? Perhaps some kind of pain or trauma occurred between the two of you- it seems you're both scared of being alone and like to isolate but have extreme attachment and detachment issues.

The purpose of this connection is to highlight the fact that you LITERALLY are continually living in the past. There's a theme of highlighting stagnation that exists for either one or both of you through this relationship.

For those of you who have had good progress in the relationship and seen improvement, I do feel that there could be messages for you in pile one.

But overall this relationship is meant to teach you that you are constantly reliving your childhood and your trauma with this individual and that you are both projecting this pain onto each other.

PILE III

there’s MAD POTENTIAL in this connection, if y’all literally keep the balance and peace I could see marriage being a potential outcome.

this person is absolutely a soulmate, I see that you both know what you want with each other and there’s 0 questions to be asked.

loyalty!

this connection is meant to show you your ability to overcome obstacles, create harmony/compromise, and maintain your independence while being in a connection. It is teaching you to build and maintain the spark & passion within the connection.

there’s a heavy emphasis on BALANCE, being fair, communicative, loving, and PRACTICAL.

See it through babes even when things feel rough, some of you could be at a distance! There is potential as long as sustainable action is being taken and no one is being abused. ❤️🥹

[nicnacsnonsense]

Honestly, it’s not just the imagery of Stede in the hold (though that is a strong argument in favor of Ed not getting tossed over); the entirety of episode 2x3 — by far the best episode in the season imo — hinges on finding Ed’s body at the midpoint.

First in terms of the Zheng plot where she’s going to execute Ed’s crew for mutinying. It’s pretty clear in the first half that Zheng is highly motivated not to follow through with the executions. Both because she wants to keep Olu happy, and because tactically the best move for her here where she has Stede, Stede’s surprisingly loyal crew, and Stede’s battered but repairable ship is to gift Stede back his ship and crew on the condition that he joins her fleet, something he’s probably not going to be too keen on if she kills half his crew first. But as long as there’s the plausible deniability of oh, Blackbeard just retired, maybe he was volun-told to do it, but mutiny-adjacent at worst, she can be feeling kind of merciful today and agree to let them go. And then Auntie finds Ed’s body and it becomes undeniably mutiny, so Zheng locks them all up to be executed. Which is in turn what necessatates Stede planning his jailbreak and escape.

Then in Ed’s plotline we see it start with him seemingly washed up on the beach from which we (ultimately incorrectly) infer that he was probably tossed overboard after the mutiny we saw at the end of 2x2. It’s a little unlikely that he’d wash up on the same beach that his former captain is living on, but that’s not an unusual sort of coincidence for OFMD, so the audience probably isn’t going to question it (I didn’t at least). It’s only during the inn scene that things start to go a little weird, then really weird until Ed’s screaming what the fuck is going on and cut to Ed’s body. And that hits. It’s a very stark and sudden answer to Ed’s question, one you cannot replicate without his body being on board.

And finally Stede’s side of things. Like I already said, at the beginning of the episode the audience is led to assume that Ed is alive washed up on a beach somewhere, and Stede is given roughly the same impression. Izzy downplays the violence that was involved in getting Ed into that situation, but broadly we the audience and Stede are on the same page here. So we are also on the same page of absolute shock when Ed’s body is revealed. We, Stede, and Ed all find out that Ed is (mostly) dead at the same time by the sudden shocking reveal of Ed’s body.

And then the whole back half of the episode for Stede is about his grief. The way he silently rebuffs both Izzy’s goading and his attempt to apologize, the way he saves his crew, in spite of his grief and the certain knowledge that they killed the man he loves. And of course, the moment when he comes down the stairs into the hold and sits at Ed’s side, ready to let himself breakdown. If Ed’s body hadn’t been there, then Stede wouldn’t have been grieving. He would have held on to the hope that maybe Ed survived and was somewhere waiting to be rescued. I’m not saying an episode about grief is inherently better than one about relentless optimism, but it’s not a trade I’d be willing to make.

I’ve done some more thinking on the topic of Ed originally being tossed overboard after the mutiny and how it doesn’t make sense that the crew would have kept the body onboard board prompted by @asneakyfox here (but didn’t want to hijack that since what I’m going to say isn’t the point of the original post).

I think it does make sense that the crew would have kept Ed’s body onboard. Tossing him over is definitely the obvious and clearest answer in terms of a crew having just mutinied. But I think if we also take into consideration how much they do love Ed, how long it takes them to mutiny, the way they’re clearly haunted by the mutiny (scrubbing at the boards of the ship, talking about how they can still see blood; they’re pirates, they do murder all the time so that’s not what’s bothering them; it’s that they did it to someone they love), and that it’s clearly a moment of high emotion, fear, and exhaustion that cause the crew to finally snap, once the deed is done and the adrenaline starts leaving their system and I think it’s totally plausible that there would be this moment of “Holy fuck what did we just do?? What the fuck do we do now???”

This wasn’t a planned mutiny that was well thought out, it was an act of desperation with no plan for what happens after. In a planned mutiny it’s a no brainer to toss the captain overboard (like their attempted mutiny on Izzy). But when you’ve just engaged in the murder of someone you love, someone who’s clearly hurting very badly, in order to protect yourselves I don’t think it’s as simple as tossing him over. I think they probably had a lot of mixed feelings over what they did and while in 2x5 they don’t necessarily want him around on the ship, that doesn’t mean they don’t care about him. It’s completely feasible to me that after they got everything out of their systems (we know from fang it wasn’t a quick thing, there was a lot of taking their frustrations out on Ed’s limp body 🥲) they would be conflicted with what to do with the body of someone they care about but who was hurting and in return hurt them.

If you think about it from that point of view, the idea of the crew having a discussion about what to do with the body and landing on the idea of keeping him on board, but out of sight. That way, they can maybe revisit what to do with it later as well as temper their guilt with “well, we may have beat him to death but at least we didn’t toss him overboard like he was trash”.

And as for “how did no one notice he was still alive?” 🤷‍♀️ How did Stede survive multiple severe gut wounds while Jim’s dad takes one little knife to the stomach and immediately dies? How did Jim get back to the ship at the end of s1? How did Buttons literally turn into a bird?? Honestly who cares? Something something magical realism. If it bothers you that much that it ruins the story for you, then just use Princess Bride rules. Ed’s mostly dead, hanging on for true love.

Anyway I just love The Innkeeper and the show was robbed by not even being nominated for an Emmy for that episode.

[scientia-rex]

I made that post about how smoking is bad—actually, no, I’ve made two relatively popular posts about how smoking is bad for you. Raises your chances of dying from multiple factors including heart disease and stroke in addition to lung (and mouth, throat, and bladder) cancer.

I am always so baffled by the responses going “well I could die from something else!” Yes. You could. Statistically speaking, you will most likely die of heart disease, stroke, or cancer, if you live in the US. Your average life expectancy is somewhere around 78 for women, 76 for men. Many people die younger than that, for a lot of reasons. Many of my patients have illnesses that will shorten their lives. I hate to split it into “fault,” as if there’s some kind of perfect way to live a blameless life. (There isn’t.) The numbers, however, are both clear and pitiless. People who smoke are more likely to die younger than they otherwise might have.

Medicine is a numbers game. My job is not to psychically predict exactly what will punch your ticket and when. It is to improve your odds. I want you to both live as long a life as possible but also as high-quality a life as possible. I want for you to live a life you enjoy.

It’s that simple; it’s not sinister. I’m not out here going “I’ll tell them not to smoke so they can have LESS FUN before getting hit by a bus at 30!”

Because smoking isn’t actually fun. What it is, is a very quick (and faster = more addictive) reduction in physical feedback systems that heighten anxiety. Withdrawal of an unpleasant stimulus is rewarding. (Technically, it’s a negative reward; the negative doesn’t refer to a moral judgment, but the addition or subtraction of a stimulus.) Something that is very rewarding very fast will be very addictive. It’s why crack cocaine is also so addictive—it is also a very fast and very potent reward. It’s also why benzodiazepines like Xanax are so addictive to so many people; it’s a slower peak blood level but the removal of severe anxiety is profoundly rewarding.

So smoking can make you feel better when you do it. But your body will try to fix any broken signals. It doesn’t just want to be able to signal to you when you need to feel stressed: it has to be able to signal you, or your long-ago ancestors would have been eaten by predators. So it ramps up the signaling. Now you’re not smoking because you feel better than baseline; you’re smoking to get back to baseline.

That’s why quitting sucks. When you quit smoking, all of the sudden your body’s signals of stress that got dialed up to 11 to overcome the nicotine are just out there at full blast, making you feel scared and jittery and irritable. It’s why when you quit benzos (or daily alcohol) cold turkey you can get life-threatening seizures. It’s why when you stop alcohol you’re likely to have sleep disruptions that can persist for weeks to months.

That’s why things that help reduce the suckage can help. Nicotine patches, lozenges, or gum. Chantix. Wellbutrin. Slowly stepping down the nicotine level on your vape. Eating more, eating things you like. (I would 1000% rather have a patient be fat than be smoking. I know other people will be shittier to you if you gain weight. Living is worth it.) Being kind to yourself helps you quit smoking. You need to recognize that “quitting smoking you” is not your baseline you. It is you with an invisible illness that will take weeks to months to get over.

And sometimes you can’t face that hump right now. But if you want to maximize your odds of the longest and healthiest possible life, knowing that any number of terrible things can happen to you at any time, making the effort—over and over again, if you need to—is the best shot you have.

There are a couple of conditions where smoking does markedly reduce symptoms. The well-known ones are schizophrenia and Crohn’s disease. If you feel not just better, but better like this is a medication for you, like you poop blood or hear things without it, talk to your primary care provider, because there are other medicines that might be safer and/or more effective for you. The landscape around pharmaceutical research has shifted dramatically over the last 30 years. We have more options than we’ve ever had before. Maybe this doesn’t have to be the expensive, dangerous medication that half-works for you. And if what you’re self-medicating is your anxiety, nicotine is a pretty crappy medication for that, because it doesn’t fix you; it changes your baseline to an even shittier place.

You have bodily autonomy. You can make your own choices. I will never go to a patient’s house and slap the cigarette out of their hand. But if what you want is the longest and healthiest possible life, smoking makes your odds worse.

The number of people who think that I, as a doctor, would be unaware of how profoundly unfair bodily health can be amazes me. It’s like the first Father Brown story, where Father Brown is explaining to the villain that someone whose main job is to hear about all of the terrible sins people have to confess cannot remain naive. My job is watching people age, or filling out their death certificates. One or the other. I prefer watching them age, but everyone will die. Someday my doctor will be filling out my death certificate. I’ve removed one potential contributing factor from that line—maybe I’ll get diabetes, maybe I’ll get cancer, maybe I’ll have a workplace accident, but “smoking” isn’t going to be on that line anymore. That’s the best I can do. I can’t psychically predict my own death, either; just play the numbers, try to do my best, and hope.

[just-null]

What would the clones get their darling for the holidays? 🤔 Zoha included 🙏

Happy late holidays to those who celebrate!

Sekido— gifts you practical gifts you'd use to improve your daily life. from tool sharpeners to fluffy pillows. If he sees you use it often, he'll get it. you'd be stupid not to use his gift and spoils you a little bit by getting something you've mentioned wanting in the past or sweets.

Karaku— gifts the most extravagant and expensive things he can find. He lost himself halfway and started getting stuff that caught his eye since you'd probably wanna share with him cause you love him so much!!! Half the items are completely useless to you.. but they look cool!!

Urogi— probably gifts you his stray feathers, a lump of very fresh meat, sharp jagged jewels, and a crumpled up yellow flower. Something that'd remind you of him because he's sure that'd make you the happiest, just like he'd be ecstatic to get something that reminds him of you.

Aizetsu— has the simplest gift, but the most sentimental. He probably gathered as much info as he could about how your brain works from stalking you and used all of that to get you the perfect gift. It'll definitely give you some type of nostalgia and make you tear up.

Zohakuten— genuinely gives a thoughtful gift. It's the best out of all of them, practical and fun, not to mention he modified it to make suit your specific tastes! ..but before you can have it, you have to survive a ride on his wood dragon where he berates your skill, or lack thereof, while purposely making it hell to stay on. He catches you when you fall off.

((they're all 1000% handmade and stolen))

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[orionremastered]

Hey! Hello!

Your works are so cool, I've read them all! How about the Villain! reader? Like the reader kills/steals or something like that, but this is only for the good.

I think this would be more an anti-hero type thing, but we can do both, and because I thought it'd be fun... Soulmates!

Masterlist

Villain/anti-hero Soulmate

Bruce

Devastated. Triple the brooding. ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ practically a mid life crisis for him.

Will try to convert you to good. It is inevitable. Do not try to think otherwise.

Will probably ignore you for as long as possible

If you meet him as Batman, he'd be reluctant to tell you his actual identity for a while

Once he's accepted it, he's always going to be worrying about you or about what you're doing.

You will have to fight tooth and nail in the beginning for any affection at all

It's worth it tho

30000000000000 trackers on you at all times btw

Still worth it tho

Dick

Would be semi okay with it, but like Jason, has some hard nos

His top priority is your safety. Not as many teachers as Bruce, maybe one or two

Offers to team up/train you if you want

Would more subtly than Bruce try to steer you into good, but he wouldn't expect you to become a hero

Just have a better moral compass

Doesn't like when you have to leave for long missions at all. Only the tiniest bit clingy.

Jason

Would be the okay with it as an anti-hero himself

Just as long as you don't mess with any kids and stuff like that you're probably fine

Team ups. Lots of team ups.

Would be super reluctant to let you meet his family. Especially Bruce.

Extra worried about you. At all times.

It'd be easier to open up with you rather than a civilian.

Tim

1000% deadass believed it's a hallucination or fever dream at first before laughing at his bad luck

Look as long as you're not Ra's Al Ghul trying to make him lead a cult of assassins you're good

Would try to improve your moral compass, but just so that you don't harm any innocent people

As many trackers as Bruce. This is Tim drake we are talking about. The literal canonical stalker. Do not try to get away from him. You will not succeed.

Would be semi okay with introducing you to his family (Bruce) but would be more open to introducing you to his friends

I.e. blackmailing them into not judging you (he's got the spirit guys give him some credit)

Damian

Like Jason, pretty okay with it, but likely with less hard nos

Would show off to you constantly, or at least have competitions to see who is the best

Overprotective secretive little worrier like Bruce, but less upfront about it

Would wait until you come home to go to sleep. He worries too much (like literally I wonder who he gets it from. Hmm)

Would at least try to get you the best gear possible. The less risk the better

The least likely to try to improve your moral compass

[kaile-hultner]

Help me dig upward: the Tumblr post

In which I talk a little bit about the hole I’ve been in for a hot minute—and what I want to do to dig out of it.

Hey y’all,

For the second time in a few years I’m starting a GoFundMe. This time, though, it’s not for the site, at least not explicitly. It is to help me get out from under the weight of debt that I’ve been carrying for more than a decade at this point, but which has finally gotten so bad that it’s affecting everything from my sleep patterns to my overall mental health and ability to do the thing that you likely already support me for: this website. 

If you’ve been wondering why the posting has decreased here, or reduced in quality, or why we started 2024 off publishing other writers and then just as suddenly stopped doing that again, this is why: I am out of money, I am in debt, and it feels like I’m living every day in pure, basic survival mode. 

This GFM, in which I’m asking for $10,000, is a moonshot, a Hail Mary. I don’t expect it to raise anything; it will be the last time I ask the Internet for money, whether it works or it doesn’t. If it works, obviously it’ll mean I’ll be able to post more and maybe my mental health will improve and I won’t feel like every moment is a countdown to a terrible ending, and I’ll be able to think of compelling angles to talk about video games again. If it doesn’t work, maybe I’ll figure something else out. Bankruptcy, probably. I don’t know. 

I hate doing this. I hate being in this position. I hate that I’ve already asked for money this year and people have been extremely generous and it just feels like all that generosity just went into a hole. I wish I had something to show for that generosity, or proactively for anything I gain from this campaign. So, if there is something you want me to cover or talk about or look at in exchange for your support on this campaign, just shoot me an email with proof of your donation, no matter how small. It’s kaile@noescapevg.com. I can’t promise I’ll write a bunch of magnum opuses at your request but I will do what I can just simply to show appreciation for your support. 

Anyway, this feels bad to me and I’m already starting to regret it, so I’m going to wrap this up by saying thank you in advance and I owe you my life. I wish that was figurative.

Edit: here is the text of the GFM I posted. 

Hi y’all,

My name is Kaile Hultner. I am an online cultural critic who has been running the video game criticism website No Escape since 2019. My work has been featured in other places like PC Gamer, Polygon and Bullet Points Monthly. And like a lot of people, I have been deeply in debt for years. 

Debt is a very strange phenomenon. As anthropologist David Graeber demonstrated in his book Debt: The First 5000 Years, it is a phenomenon that imparts a kind of moral valence on a person; whether or not that person can pay their debts is a sign of their trustworthiness or virtue as a member of polite society. Yet you can’t go without debt: at some point, at least in the United States, you have to pick up a form of debt – credit – to establish your credit score, without which you can’t rent an apartment, buy or lease a car, or, in some cases, even get a job. Being debt-free can harm this score, as can having a credit history that is “too young.” 

I’ve been in debt for a long time. I’ve been managing my debt for over a decade. Every year for the last six or seven years in particular it feels like I’m losing progressively more and more ground. Seven years ago I had a car; I could do things like deliver Uber Eats and DoorDash and make extra money whenever I ran out. It broke down in my driveway in 2022 and I couldn’t afford to take it to a mechanic to get it fixed. I sold it for $200. I haven’t been able to replace it. I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever need a car for anything. Luckily my day job is WFH. 

Recently, I’ve been fighting with my old bank over charges it erroneously applied to my account in excess of $1000, causing it to go deep into the negatives. I’ve been slowly, slowly digging myself out of that hole thanks to some close friends and some very kind folks who follow me on the Internet. But it’s caused other debts to exacerbate. And tonight I realized that I am at the end of my rope. I can’t do this anymore. I won’t sit here and say that I’ve done everything right; certainly, more than one bad decision made out of desperation has put me here. I won’t make excuses for that. But I’m tired of being here, in this position. I’m tired of waking up in the middle of the night with heart palpitations because I got an alert from my bank that I’m in the negatives. I’m tired of getting emails and phone calls from debt collectors. I’m tired of living in basic survival mode with no discernible path forward. I’m tired of being tired, of not having the energy to be creative and do the work I’ve built an online presence around for five years. And paradoxically, I’m tired of asking people on the internet for money. 

So I’m going to ask people on the internet for money, one final time. 

I’ve set the goal at $10,000. This is far more than I’m honestly expecting to get, but if I get even a fraction of that I could finally obliterate my debts in a meaningful way. I do have specific milestones that I basically need to meet, otherwise this GFM doesn’t hit its maximum effectiveness, but otherwise the sky is the limit. If I reach the whole amount… I don’t really know what I’ll do. Cry, maybe. 

Milestones – bolded are high-priority

Milestone reached! $750 – gets my old bank account out of the negatives. Eliminates one vector of harassment, allows me to close that account and move on. 

Milestone Reached! $1800 – does the above and allows me to fully pay any late or past-due loan payments missed as a result of the bank issue.

Milestone Reached! $6000 – does the above and allows me to fully pay off all installment loans 

$8000 – does the above and allows me to pay off any remaining debts. 

$10,000 – does the above and allows me to start saving. 

$10,000+ – basically a moonshot, I have no idea what I’ll do with extra. 

I fully do not expect you to donate to this. There are people trying to escape genocides, much more abject poverty, crushing medical debt, and so much more that feel – at least to me – so much more worthy of your attention and money. But just know that if you dodonate something, you have my undying appreciation. I will quite literally owe you my life. 

I’m going to post this now before I get too emotional or lose my nerve entirely, but again: thank you. Even if all you do is read this. 

—Kaile

[rigelmejo]

I'm sure if this applies to you, then you've already figured it out. But just in case. If you are contemplating learning Japanese, starting to study Japanese, I highly recommend you look up 'how to learn a language' generally when you come up with your study plan. Or taking a beginner Japanese class in a school, or on a MOOC like Coursera. Or getting a textbook, and starting with that.

Just because, it would be a good idea to get a sense of what it is going to take to learn a language to the degree you wish to for your goals. Whatever goals those are: to pass the JLPT N1, to work in a specific company that requires a certain proficiency at specific skills, to read manga, to watch shows, to talk conversationally with people, to go to university in Japan, etc. It would be a good idea to look up in general, what things do you study in any language, to reach those goals. Which is generally reading, writing, speaking, listening, to different amounts of skill level (depending on your goals).

It's a good idea to get a sense of your personal goals, and the general things that need to be learned to reach those goals, before digging into what other learners of Japanese are doing.

Because...

1. There's a lot of people trying to sell products, or classes, who may not align with your personal goals, or may not teach all the skills you personally need to study to reach your personal goals.

2. There's a lot of people saying the way they studied is the ONLY good way to study, and many of these people will contradict each other... which can leave you confused about which is 'better' and what to do. The answer of course is, do what works for you. It may be what someone else is doing, or someone else, or what no one else is doing.

3. It may discourage you to see a lot of other beginners asking what to do, and also confused about the conflicting study plans and paid resources they're running into.

4. It's easy to get distracted, trying to chase the 'new best study method/study material' if you're constantly being marketed to, constantly being told X person studied Y way and it's 'better.' Consistency long term is your friend, consistency over time is how you'll make progress on your goals. Restarting study from the same beginner material, over and over, could just delay your progress. Find something that works for you, and stick with it.

Good enough IS good enough. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to keep searching until you 'find' the perfect study method, or study materials. I know it's easy to fall into perfectionism. It's okay to not be a perfectionist. It's okay to do something good enough, that's working good enough, and just consistently do it.