#and to try and combat that i decided to be productive

[sleepanonymous]

When you left I walked into the ocean. Not to drown but to be held by something reluctant to let go.

[cerastes]

I still think it's really cool how Amuro starts as the shittiest pilot alive (because he's a 15-year old) that only gets carried because he's in the biggest, fattest stat stick in-universe at the time (a few retroactive additions made in the future notwithstanding), enough that even its crappy vulcan guns are tearing Zaku IIs apart, and when he starts getting a bit too cocky, Char and Ramba Ral show up in objectively inferior pieces of junk and absolutely deliver his pizza, they just drag his face across every available surface in Planet Earth like he's a Yakuza mook, all because they are simply that much better at piloting, and the thing is, Amuro takes that very seriously.

He goes from shitass kid in an unfortunate situation that doesn't want to get in the robot to the most unwell child soldier in the war, which is really saying something, but most importantly, becomes so good at piloting the Gundam that the Gundam physically cannot handle Amuro's piloting. They need to apply "Magnetic Coating" to its joints so they don't fucking snap away from the main frame because Amuro, one, moves too damn well but also in too extreme a way for the frame to handle it, two, despite being equipped with two sabers, a shield, a beam rifle and vulcan guns, Amuro is a stern believer in introducing most everyone in thagomizer range to his Rated Z for Zeon hands, the single most official pair of hands in the business, tax free. He KEEP going Ip Man on these dudes, he does NOT need to do a Jamestown on these mother fuckers but he INSISTS. Somehow even the Gundam Hammer, which is a giant Hannah Barbera cartoon flail-- Ok, look at this thing, words do not do it justice

Even this god damn Tom and Jerry prop is less savage that whatever Amuro decides to do the moment he's done throwing his shield to get a free kill on someone and it officially becomes bed time forever for the unfortunate sap at the business end of his ten-finger weapons of mass destruction.

The RX-78-2, "Gundam" for its friends and family, even has a top of the line cutting edge Learning Computer that 'learns' alongside the pilot and their habits. This data extracted from it was so absolutely fucked up that it completely revolutionized Mobile Suit combat afterwards, which is a wholesome thing to think about when The Best Combat Data Ever came from a really angry, really stressed 15 year old that doesn't even like piloting. He was 15! He made Haro with his own hands! Amuro literally just wanted to make funny cute spherical robofriends! Amuro was out there trying to make Kirby real, but fate had other plans for him. His cloned brain put in a pilot seat is one of the setting's strongest 'pilots'.

They made fucking Shadow the Hedgehog with his brain, god damn.

By the end, Zeon is rolling out Gelgoogs out of its mass production lines. These things are in the Gundam's ballpark in terms of overall specs (or "power level"). Amuro is bodying them as if they were episode 1 Zaku IIs.

AND THEN HE GETS FUCKING PSYCHIC SPACE POWERS. Not that he needed them, he bodied a couple Space Psychics without any of those powers before awakening to them. But heaven's most violent child was not done evolving, whether he liked it or not.

Char bodied him in a souped up Zaku II at the start, a machine objectively inferior to the Gundam. Amuro more or less one-sidedly beats the shit out of Char when he's in a custom Commander-type Gelgoog that you could consider to be equal spec-wise to the Gundam. Amuro is the embodiment of Finding Out. He is Consequences. You tell him he better make it hurt, better make it count, better kill you in one shot, buddy, he needs half a fucking shot. The complete transformation. One could consider the central 75% of the show as long drawn out training montage turning a kid into the Geese Howard of giant robots.

[rivereverie]

Astarion and Learned Cruelty

Spoilers for all of Astarion’s story through all acts of BG3. As always, this is all just my interpretation of the character. Feel free to disagree. 

I love the writing choice to make Astarion genuinely immoral at first. They could have easily pulled the overdone trope of "I only pretend to be evil because I'm traumatized. I'm really just a sad little guy who wouldn’t hurt anyone". Now I do believe his behavior is a direct result of his trauma, but I'll get to that in a minute. The point is that he does genuinely relish in violence, although his actions will be swayed by whichever moral direction the player decides to go. But he does enjoy combat, spilling blood, and even some more cruel and unusual things. However, what makes this so compelling and narratively rich is that this is a learned mindset.

I think that a lot of people don't acknowledge that going into act 1, Astarion has just come out of a situation where he was quite literally forced to participate in horrific crimes, with severe consequences if he refused. That absolutely does not excuse the fact that he's okay with if not outright enthusiastic about murder, but we do see that he was not always this way (e.g., he tried at least once to let a target go because he couldn't bring himself to take them to Cazador). I just think it's worth acknowledging that that mindset was the product of centuries of torment and active overt and covert conditioning. He became who Cazador wanted him to be; who he had to be in order to survive. Astarion and Karlach are two sides of a coin in this regard, in that they represent opposite responses to trauma and loss of autonomy. Karlach was forced into martial servitude, which in my opinion explains why she's still kind of bloodthirsty even though she's such a good and kind person bent on protecting others. She's shaped by the role she was forced into, and it's the same with Astarion. Again, not to say he isn't morally dubious, but there's a big difference between someone evil and someone who was never allowed to be "good" suddenly being thrust back into freedom and forced to figure things out.

To a degree, I do also think that his over-the-top declarations of his love for violence are another piece of his mask. Just like with his feigned hedonism and sexual forwardness, he's trying to hold power over people by controlling their perception of him (as well as his own self-perception). He's holding a big sign that says "I'm selfish and evil, and you shouldn't like me unless you are too", when really he's not anywhere near as selfish and evil as he pretends to be. He does this in part to keep people at arm's length, but also to convince himself; to craft his own reality wherein he is the person he needs to be to get through this situation. His worldview has been warped to see domination and control as synonymous with strength, and so he's being strong in the way he knows how. As the story progresses with a good player on his side, he's beginning to learn how to be something better. And that's why it takes time: because he's unlearning 200 years of conditioning and survival instincts.

It's worth talking about that it's not unheard of for abusers to force victims to participate in the abuse of others. I think that representing that experience in this game is important and valuable. We should all walk the line between holding these kinds of survivors accountable for what is appropriate, and to offer them oceans of understanding and empathy for them over what they were forced into. Even if Astarion weren't magically forced to do Cazador's bidding, I hope that we all could still understand the power that abusers hold over their victims, empathize with him, and see that those actions were an extension of Cazador, not himself.

Official D&D definitions of "evil" aside, I don't think he's ever truly evil unless he goes down the evil route with the player and/or ascends (Ascended Astarion is a whole other can of worms I’m not going to get into in this post). By the end of the spawn storyline, Astarion does have a lot more concern and care for others, and most importantly, he takes responsibility. To me, that shows profound strength and goodness. He's never a saint, but in my opinion he's never really evil, either. He's still learning how to live in a world where he doesn't need to be cruel in order to survive. 

Concerning the early access backstory about him being a "corrupt magistrate", it's up to the individual how to headcanon that information. Personally, I think he was probably a little self-interested, but not evil by any means. I think he was probably just a pretty normal person before Cazador, not predisposed to cruelty.

In summary, I think it’s important to talk about what makes people “bad”, especially in the context of the cycle of abuse and victimization. In Astarion’s case, much of his taste for cruelty came from implicit conditioning over his years of being forced to hurt others. There are a number of lines from him during the dungeon/crypt sequence where he keeps insisting, defensively and desperately, that he didn’t have a choice in bringing victims back to Cazador. That it was all on his orders and he couldn’t say no. This might come across to some as him trying to shirk blame, but the thing is… he’s right. He didn't have a choice, other than death, but I think Cazador would deny him even that. He wanted to make his spawn into obedient tools, but also to break them. To make them an extension of his own monstrous cruelty. But in the end, Astarion takes responsibility as best he can, and begins to forgive himself for being a part of Cazador’s evil. This is part of what makes the line “I am so much more than what you made me” so powerful.

[huellitaa]

⋅˚₊‧ ୨ feeling uncomfy in ur own skin

ok so this is something ive been struggling with for years. like i wake up some days and just feel Eugh way more than id like to. SO i decided i'd make a little guide on this! for me and for you 🩷✨

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 reasons why we could be feeling uncomfortable with ourselves and who we are

♡ having a shitty mental diet and consuming media and things that make you feel bad abt urself

♡ being in an environment where we're constantly being judged or put down, even over the most basic things

♡ hanging around negative people or negative places

♡ not giving urself enough credit for ur own achievements and accomplishments

♡ changing urself constantly for others and not having a clear sense of self to hold on to

♡ not having boundaries on how you and others treat you

♡ staying stagnant in the same place in your life and not changing (🎀🗒️also read: get comfy being uncomfy ♡)

♡ not paying enough attention to yourself and avoiding your genuine thoughts, feelings and emotions

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. be gentle with yourself!

pleasepleaseplease its ok to have bad days its ok to not feel great every day. treat yourself as you would someone you love. if you just aren't feeling good today, then you aren't feeling good! honour that and respect that and deal with that accordingly. even if you are uncomfortable with yourself right now or you don't like yourself right now, please try and treat yourself with care regardless, because no matter what stage you are in in your life right now you are and always will be the most important person in ur life, so TREAT URSELF LIKE IT🫶💖

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. inspiration, not comparison!

i know its often told not to go looking at people who are ahead of you in these times but hear me out. i think looking at and observing people you admire who are further ahead of you is very motivating to build yourself up and *become more like them* in your own way. you look up to them because of ___? what can you do to become your own version of that? thinking like this gets me more inspired to just get out of bed because i want to be more like them.

two words for this one - NO. COMPARISON. gaining inspiration from others to better yourself and comparing yourself to others are two completely different things. 🫶 (shameless self promo, but i have a post on this here! 🩷✨)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. analysis: detective work chapter!

journal and think and think to urself why u might feel like this or what caused this. when did it start? has anything happened lately that may have caused this? how does it feel, in depth? what can you do to combat this? how can you make it through the day & make it so you do even better tomorrow?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. channeling the mindset!

back to my point on our idols, thinking like them & thinking what they'd do in this situation helps me a lot. personally one of my idols is ada lovelace so whenever im really tired and unmotivated or insecure on my abilities or appearance or anything else i think to myself "what would she do?" and 9 times out of 10 im up at my desk in my cutest outfit hard at work. this is def one of my favourite points and something i use on the daily for like literally everything and 100% recommend 🩷✨

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. what would i do?

similarly, ask urself what the best version of yourself or the version of urself youre working towards would do in this situation. be your own inspiration. be ur own muse. would they stay in bed and rot all day? if the answer is no then ur up. out. immediately. ask urself what they would do. if ur feeling drained, would they take a day off to do some self care and recharge? if ur feeling sad, would they be gentle with themselves and let themselves feel sad for a little while & try to work to the root of the problem?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. understanding yourself!

make a list of the things that make you the happiest and most comfortable & productive and the things that make you the unhappiest and the opposite of those things. i mentioned this in my recharge day post, but figuring out these will help you find out which negative behaviours or habits are lowering ur vibrations and making u feel like this, and help u to engage more in the things that make you happy with yourself and everything around you 💗✨

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. pay attention!

pay close attention to ur internal landscape and your self talk throughout the day. note down every little thing you notice, even if you think it won't be helpful; for example, do you find yourself indulging in negative talk abt urself, negative talk abt others, constantly being pessimistic and expecting the worst, indulging in judgement and criticism of urself and everyone around you, getting distracted easily, and so on.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. what would i do, part 2

like i mentioned earlier, you should be your own inspiration. you should be your own muse. as much as it's nice to have idols, when ur trying to change something about urself and adjust and improve ur own behaviours, you should be mainly focusing on what you want to achieve by changing said behaviours. do you know who you're working towards being? do you know how you want to feel? do you know what you are changing these things you feel into? think about whether or not the person you are now lines up with the person you want to be in all aspects of ur life. if you feel like you aren't even trying to meet these standards then of course ur gonna feel bad about urself. of course don't be too hard on urself, but keep this in mind. 💓✨

finally, remember that these things are temporary and it wont be like this forever. ur beautiful and perfect no matter what and in these times u gotta show up for yourself even more and never give up! i believe in u 🫶🩷

all my love 💗💬✨🎀

[slayfics]

Heya! Can I get a comfort/fluff one shot with Kirishima and fem!reader? They like each other but are clueless about it, but are really good friends. He is in a sad mood, feeling insecure about his quirk compared to others. Reader comforts/cheers him up and it leads to him finally confessing? 😚

Eijiro confesses his feelings for you.

1.1k words

You walked back to the common room of the dorms after finishing showering. Ready to relax with your friends for the rest of the night. The usual group sat in their spots on the couches. Hanta was having an animated discussion with Denki, while Katsuki sat with his hands in his pockets, pretending he wanted to be anywhere else. Everyone was accounted for, except for Eijiro.

"Hey," you announced yourself taking up the empty spot next to Katsuki.

Hanta and Denki greeted you warmly while Katsuki grunted. The four of you had the usual conversations about classes, assignments, and training. You expected Eijiro to come down and join you all any minute, but he never did.

You waited for a natural pause in conversation to ask, "Where's Kirishima?"

"Said he was tired and went up to his room early," Hanta replied.

"Oh," you mused gazing at the ground. It was unusual for Eijiro to be sleepy so early, that was Katsuki's job.

"Yeah, I thought it was weird too, but it was a long day," Denki added. 

Hanta and Denki started up another conversation while you found yourself worrying about Eijiro. You knew he didn't do well in the training today and he had a tendency to be too hard on himself. It was likely being tired was just an excuse to wallow in his room.

"Go check on 'em," Katsuki said, so lowly you almost didn't hear.

"Hu?" You perked up looking at him.

"If you're so damn worried, go check on him," Katsuki huffed.

"I didn't say I was worried," You argued.

"Tch- ya didn't have to. Go," he demanded.

"You don't have to be so bossy about it," You rolled your eyes and stood up.

"Yeah, I do, or your stubborn ass wouldn't listen," Katsuki retorted. 

"Sorry, can't hear you," You mocked as the distance between you and Katsuki grew while you made your way to Eijiro's dorm. Katsuki huffed but didn't argue any further.

After the short elevator ride, you were in front of Eijiro's dorm door knocking.

"I told you guys I'm tired," he called from inside his room, responding to your knocks.

"Oh, sorry I didn't know," you called back.

Hearing your voice Eijiro rushed to his door.

"Oh hey! Sorry, I thought you were Sero and Kaminari," he replied.

"So, you're too tired to talk to them but not me?" You joked.

Eijiro's cheeks flushed slightly, "I uh-," he stuttered.

"Relax, I'm just teasing you," you said saving him the embarrassment. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," he said stepping aside to make way for you. "So, what's up?"

You thought for a moment before deciding how to answer. You figured honesty was the best. "I was just worried about you. I know you had a tough day today. So when the boys said you went to bed already, I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

Eijiro grunted as he plopped himself down on his bed, "Was it that obvious?" He asked, placing his hands over his face. His shirt lifted slightly revealing part of his abdomen. Your own cheeks flushing now.

You sat down on the bed next to him, "I don't think it was to anyone else!" You tried to comfort him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Eijiro let out a sigh, "You saw me today... my quirk was worthless."

"That's not true!" You try to combat him.

"Yes, it was! There was nothing productive for me to do in that situation. It's just... never mind it's stupid," he said cutting himself off...

"No, tell me! I want to hear," you encouraged.

Another heavy sigh and some silence passed before Eijiro took his hands off his face and spoke to the ceiling, "I hate my quirk sometimes. You, Bakugo, Kaminari... all have amazing quirks that could be useful for almost anything. I've been training so hard to try and make up for that... but days like today just remind me how far behind I am from you guys... Sometimes it feels like I'm never going to catch up. Or even when I make improvements, it's not enough because everyone else has to so I'm still miles behind. I always wanted to be a hero and help people but, recently I don't think I'm even needed. The world has enough heroes ya know?"

"Are you being serious right now?" You said angrily at Eijiro.

"Hu?" He sat up looking at you confused.

"You really can't see how much of a difference you made for your team in the training today?!" You asked.

"They would have been fine without me; they didn't need me. The outcome would have been the same," Eijiro stated.

You shook your head no aggressively, "You're so dense sometimes."

"Ok ouch," Eijiro exclaimed.

"I just mean... the way Koda froze on your team; you all would have lost. The only reason he used his anivocie is because of you!"

"So?" Eijiro asked.

"Don't you get it? There's so much more to being a hero than just your quirk. There's your drive and the comfort you bring those you're saving. Even though you may have felt useless on the inside you hyped your team with your endless positivity, and it made everyone fight so much harder. Your team won because you were on it, and you believed in everyone." You explained.

Eijiro felt his eyes get misty, "You really think so?"

"I don't think. I know, and so does the rest of our class. You inspire everyone with your big shark smile and... the way you look up to all of us, makes us want to be that hero you think we can be. You bring a lot to our class, it's why you're friends with everyone. Even the hard-headed Bakugo. You're going to be a fan favorite hero someday because of that, I know it," you smiled at him.

"Man," Eijiro exclaimed taking in a breath. "You always know what to say, no wonder I like you so much."

"Hu?" You breathed out, taken off guard.

"No! I uh just mean-," Eijiro tried to backtrack.

"Don't... Please don't take it back," you said, gaze meeting his crimson eyes.

Eijiro bit his lip, attempting to swallow his nervousness, "You're right that would be unmanly. I meant it... You always check on me, and have this way of getting to me when I'm in my head... I can't help but... like you."

"I... feel the same way," you confessed.

"What?! Are you serious?" Eijiro asked stunned.

You nodded shyly.

"Man, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world right now... would you... want to go to my favorite restaurant after class tomorrow with me?" Eijiro asked.

"I'd love to," you replied.

sinners: @unofficialmuilover @maddietries @fiannee @derangedmango @reneinii @peachsukii @pastelbakugou @abadbitchblogs @deluluforcarlos55 @pinkpurpledreams @that-one-fangirl69 @dreamcastgirl99

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I left a bad review on a book I haven’t purchased?

(📚📖 to find later)

I’m an audiobook narrator professionally. I do most of my work via independent contracting with a production company. NOTE: they are NOT a publishing house. They do not provide editors/betas/etc for the text, they focus on turning (usually self published) books into audiobooks and marketing those audiobooks.

Most of the books I record with them are great, and I have a lot of fun reading good books! But…some of the books I’ve read for them have been. REALLY. REALLY. bad. Like I personally would have stopped reading within the first few pages bad if it wasn’t literally my job to read the words out loud.

I’m currently reading a book for them that makes me want to tear my hair out. The writing is boring, badly paced, and repetitive. None of the characters are likeable, and the relationships are shallow, the combat is boring, there are no stakes, etc etc. To give you an idea, the main character is the type of kid who on the playground would insist he had a mega super invincibility shield so you couldn’t touch him, but he also had a mega super invincibility shield breaking sword if you decided you wanted a shield too. And the narrative REWARDS HIM for acting that way.

I’ve never left a review on any of the books I’ve narrated before, but this one…i am seriously considering writing a review to try and warn people away from this book.

A few things to consider, though:

1: i am not being paid royalty share from the book, i get a flat rate based on the number of hours in the final audiobook. But as far as I know, the author only starts making money from producing this audiobook once the production company makes back the money they paid me for making it.

2: i would review anonymously/under a fake name and only on the book product page, not the product page for the audiobook version.

3: if an audiobook does not sell, then it is most likely I will not be obligated to continue recording the rest of the series (and it IS a series. At least three books are out as of now. I am currently slated to record them all, provided the audiobook sells decently)

4: the book currently has ~250 reviews already, and a 4.7/5 rating (how???? get some fucking standards), so it’s not like I’m leaving a 1 star review on something that only has 6 reviews.

I don’t think that one bad review would tank the whole series, but I do feel like leaving bad reviews on a product I didn’t even buy might be a dick move, especially if the author’s pay for this book relies on it selling well. But on the other hand, his book sucks and people should know that.

I wouldn’t be leaving a “0 stars: this sucks” review, I’d want to make it comprehensive and detailed. But I’d also feel bad about that because I’m sure the author reads his reviews, and even though his book sucks shit, i don’t want to like…make someone lose their passion to write? But ALSO if you’re making people pay $16 for the book and/or $40 for the audiobook, maybe the book should be fucking good? Idk.

So, tumblr, WIBTA?

[miss-musings]

Parallels between Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader and Crosshair from "The Bad Batch"

GENERAL PERSONALITIES & EARLY LIFE

Both of them are fiercely loyal to the people they care about

Both of them are absolute SassMasters

Both have a scar/tattoo over their right eye

Neither had a proper childhood, as they were both trained for combat starting at a young age

Both have special abilities/enhanced senses compared to the average human, and they were trained (read: groomed) because of it

Both of them were part of a unique brotherhood (the Jedi and the clones, respectively) that, at one point, spanned the entire galaxy during The Clone Wars

Both have a complicated relationship with an older brother/father figure in Obi-Wan and Hunter, respectively

Both lost their right hands in a fight with an evil counterpart (Although, for Crosshair, this happens much later in his life)

POSSIBLE FORESHADOWING IN TCW Season 7?

As I pointed out in a separate post, in "The Clone Wars" Episode 7.02 "A Distant Echo," we get a moment of foreshadowing with these two characters.

In the episode, Anakin and his friend/captain Rex and the four original Bad Batch brothers are on a rescue mission together. About halfway through the episode, there's a moment where the six of them split up to search a tower. They're basically at a T-intersection, and while the other four go one way, Crosshair and Anakin go the other.

(Link to a gif post of the moment here.)

These characters literally take the same path.

By doing so, they are separating themselves from their loved ones (Anakin from his friend Rex, Crosshair from his brothers) and choosing the opposite path.

I realize this might've been unintentional on the writers' part, because I'm not sure if "The Bad Batch" series was in production yet when TCW Season 7 released, but holy hell! That's some insane foreshadowing right there!!

THEIR TURN TO ‘THE DARK SIDE’

Both betrayed their brothers and other loved ones by deciding to serve the Empire, and it's around the same time in-universe

Order 66 specifically becomes a pivotal moment in their respective stories. For Anakin, it's when he first takes on the name and mantle of Darth Vader and exterminates the Jedi; for Crosshair, it's when he's first torn away from his family due to the Empire's mind control via the inhibitor chip

Both have at least one opportunity to come back but decide to continue serving the Empire/Dark Side of their own accord (Anakin on Mustafar in ROTS // Crosshair on Kamino in TBB S1 finale)

While their battle attire was dark-colored before they betrayed their loved ones and started serving the Empire, afterward, both characters start wearing all-black armor

Despite all their loyalty and sacrifices, their masters/employers are ready to throw them away the minute they find a better or more convenient replacement

Both were burned while trying to kill their older brother/father figures

Both initially had hair, but after being burned and getting scarred on their heads, we only ever see them bald on-screen

Both seem to suffer from an "in for a penny, in for a pound" mindset, which is partly why they stay with the Empire for so long

While serving the Empire, both commit all of the war crimes!! 😬

Both have multiple scenes of them killing their own officers/troopers, and they both seem to take some amount of pleasure in doing so

Blinded by anger and rage, both are ready to hunt down their older brother/father figures at a moment's notice, and ultimately attempt to kill them several times (Vader in the "Obi-Wan Kenobi" series // Crosshair in TBB Season 1)

Both attempt to kill their own kid at least once. (Vader in ANH // Crosshair in TBB Season 1)

(Side note: if you don't think of Crosshair as one of Omega's dads, I recommend you review my post about S3 Crosshair speed-running Hunter's Dad Arc and/or my CrossDad S3 episode ranking. Because, if you're not on board with the idea that Crosshair is Omega's dad, you're not going to enjoy the rest of this post.)

THEIR REDEMPTION & FINAL MOMENTS

There’s a whole plot line about them trying to find their kid at a secret base (Vader in ESB // Crosshair in TBB Season 3)

When confronted by their kid, both characters believe they are undeserving or too far gone to be forgiven/redeemed (Vader: "It is too late for me, son" // Crosshair: "Omega. Don't risk anything for me. I belong in here.")

At some point, both characters' kids challenge them on their true intentions and decisions to stay with the Empire. (Luke to Vader: "Then my father is truly dead." // Omega to Crosshair: "I wanted to believe it was the inhibitor chip that made you like this, but I was wrong.")

Both of them ultimately find redemption and forgiveness because their blonde kid refused to give up on them (Luke to Vader: "I know there is good in you. The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully." // Omega to Crosshair: "You're still their brother, Crosshair. You're my brother too.")

A large part of their redemption arcs is saving their kid from being held hostage and tortured by the Empire (Vader saving Luke from the Emperor & the Death Star // Crosshair helping Omega escape Tantiss both times)

While a much larger battle impacting the fate of the galaxy rages on nearby, both characters' final on-screen act -- the climax of their respective stories -- is saving their kid from one of the Empire's worst villains (Vader saving Luke from the Emperor // Crosshair saving Omega from Hemlock)

Both of them ultimately help thwart Palpatine’s plans for immortality/reincarnation(?) by destroying his primary body and his cloning facility on Tantiss, respectively

Their final on-screen reunions with their kids are very personal and emotional. For Vader and Luke, it's the only time they see each other face-to-face. For Crosshair and Omega, it's the first time they ever hug on-screen.

Their last lines of on-screen dialogue are talking about their daughters with another family member (Vader to his son Luke: "Tell your sister you were right" // Crosshair to his brother Hunter: "If I'm off -- I can't risk Omega.")

The final shots of them on-screen are a 'family portrait' type pose with their older brother/father figure and other loved ones, and their kid/s are nearby

(This list is subject to edits/additions if I think of anything else! If you have any ideas, include them in the comments or reblogs. Thanks!)

[bouncybongfairy]

Shut The Fuck Up

Simon (Ghost) Riley x Fem Reader Smut

Summary: You keep Ghost up all night while talking on the phone to your friends. He decides the only way to keep you quiet is to use your mouth for something more productive.

Word Count: 1.0k+

Ref Account: @kaionyx

TW: Face Fuck, Facial, Swallowing, Dom Ghost

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

“Yeah girl, no yeah I actually told him I was like: who the fuck wears brown combat boots with a all black outfit like, come on now, what are you even doing?,” you laugh as you talk on the phone. 

“Shut it!” he groaned, half asleep. 

It was the middle of the night and you were filling your best friend in on everything going on. Ghost was trying to sleep, his bed right across from you and facing the wall. Waking him up every time you laughed or gasped from information received. He was tired, exhausted from a vigorous day of training. Tired as he was, he was entertained by the conversation. You attempted to lower your voice when speaking about something private. Unaware that he could still hear everything you were saying. He gave up on optimistically thinking that the conversation would end soon. 

“I tried wearing one of those masks during a mission and I felt like I was suffocating. I don’t know how Ghost puts up with it all the time, I kept getting lint in my mouth when I talked… All the time girl, you know he even sleeps in that thing?” you asked rhetorically, a small smirk formed on his face. 

“Yeah he is… no we haven’t… obviously not by choice, i’d drop ‘em the second he’d ask,” you whispered while holding back a laugh. A mixture of agitation from you keeping him up and his hard on was making his heart race. Squinting his eyes and gripping the sheet trying to calm down. It wasn’t the first time he’s had these thoughts or feelings about you. Imagining you on all fours or slobbering and drooling for his cock. Tonight he was having a hard time keeping himself under control. 

“I guess that’s a good point, maybe Keegan or Soap are a little more you know… available,” you said, which made something in Ghost snap. 

He sat up on his bed, cracking his neck before standing up. You gasped at his sudden movement and pulled the blankets to cover your body. All you were wearing was an oversized tee-shirt and didn’t want him to catch you indisposed. His eyes were bloodshot from a lack of sleep and didn’t look happy. You muttered some excuse to your friend and hung up the phone. He ripped the blanket off your body, with such force it pulled up one of your nails slightly. Looking down at his sweat pants that were now tented. His shirt was folded up slightly, exposing his vine-line and happy trail. 

“Get on your knees.” He demanded, his voice raspy and low from sleep. You were frozen in place, shaking with anticipation and nervousness. He grabs you by the ankle and pulls your body towards the edge of the bed. Throwing it back on the ground before grabbing your throat just under your chin. 

“That’s the second time you’ve ignored me. I would love to show you what happens if it happens a third time but since it’s so sadistic I'll give you a warning,” he said, letting go of your neck and giving you the chance to comply. 

You slide off the bed and fall onto your knees, he huffed and squatted down to make eye contact. Reaching his hand down, you thought he was going to relieve the ache in your sex but instead he grabs the bottom of your shirt. Standing up and pulling the cotton up with him. Completely exposing your body to him, you start squirming and covering yourself. 

“For someone who’d drop their panties the minute I’d ask you’re acting so shy,” he said, slapping one of your breasts. You squealed a little too loud, he covered your mouth and nose. Beginning to panic once you realized you couldn’t breath as he spoke to you, 

“I’m gonna teach you the real purpose of your mouth since you can’t seem to shut the fuck up,” he said letting go, letting you catch your breath while he pulled his sweat pants down. 

He wasn’t wearing any boxers, so after clearing the waistband his cock snapped up against his happy trail. He steps closer and starts slapping your lips with his tip. Furrowing his eyebrows and letting his head fall back at the contact. You wrap your lips around him, swirling your tongue around him. Pulling your head back pressing wet kissing up and down his length. Licking the underside of his shaft from base to tip. He took this opportunity to shove himself down your throat. Gagging around him but slowly getting the hang of it. Bobbing your head up and down to meet his thrusts, looking up at him with watery eyes. He presses your mouth all the way up and down a couple times before pulling out. Smacking your face with his now wet and leaking cock. 

“Remember this the next time you don’t obey me,” he said, shoving himself back into your mouth. 

Moaning as he heard his balls slapping against your chin. Knowing that he was teaching you such a valuable lesson was driving him crazy. Taking out his frustration on you, violently rutting into your mouth. Black tears running down your face from your mascara; a mix of pre-cum and drool covering your mouth and nose. Holding your mouth down on the base of his cock while letting out a long dragged out groan. You were trying to fight back but his strength was too much. Ripping himself out of your mouth, gasping for air once he pulled out of your throat. Stroking himself off and climaxing onto your face. Hot, thick ropes of cum paint your face, he gripped your hair; holding you still in case you tried getting away. Letting go of his member once he was done, using his hand to smear some of the cum off your lips and into your mouth. 

“Let me know how things go with Soap and Keegan,” he chuckled and walked out for some fresh air, leaving you needy and dripping while you licked the cum off your lips.

[eemolu]

umm.. which d20 season should i watch (to start or next)??

in honor of brennan releasing basically the exact same video on dropout literally today, here's an unhinged list i've been working on for longer than i'd like to admit.

IF YOU’VE NEVER SEEN D&D BEFORE OR ARE LOOKING TO GET INTO TTRPGS • Fantasy High ⁃ I mean obviously. The cast is learning 5e right alongside the players, but also, they’re learning about each other. They’ve never played before. You’ve never watched them play before. There aren’t any inside jokes that you’re missing out on because you haven’t made them yet ⁃ The setting and characters are a great mixture of dnd tropes and familiar media tropes, so even the jokes you don’t get you kind of do also get ⁃ 3 seasons and a movie (counting the liveshows) • Unsleeping City s1 ⁃ Oh, you don’t like fantasy stuff. You find elves annoying. You’ve never seen Lord of the Rings and you don’t care to. Great! This season is urban fantasy and the fairies are all parodies of characters from the Godfather. ⁃ Still early enough that the cast is still fairly new and you’re not missing much. Also it’s incredible ⁃ 1.75 seasons and a stage production (one season, one covid zoom season that’s incredible but takes a sec to get used to, and a madison square garden liveshow complete with pyrotechnics) • Dungeons and Drag Queens ⁃ Learn with the queens. Love with the queens. Cry with the queens ⁃ Brennan is being a Nice Guy DM so generally things go how you want ⁃ It’s kind of like watching a bunch of people remember what it’s like to be in third grade and invent an entire world at recess and decide who has storm powers and who has seventeen imaginary cats and who has a sword that’s also a gun

I DON’T LIKE D&D BUT I STILL WANT TO WATCH!! • Mismag ⁃ They’re not playing dnd they’re playing kids on brooms and Aabria mostly eschews combat, so don’t worry ⁃ First season is a misdirect to get you to the second season ⁃ Smaller cast of characters and only one (haunted) white man. Sick. • A Court of Fey and Flowers ⁃ Technically still dnd but only for the purposes of letting these high drama idiots pretend to kill each other ⁃ They spend most of the air time sending letters, flirting autistically, and massaging butts ⁃ Emily Axford & Lou Wilson spend the whole season serving cunt and invoking jeremy renner • Never Stop Blowing Up ⁃ They made up their own action movie game system ⁃ “The universe was created by a big bang. And in that case, is not all of existence a bullet? You catch the cannonball and throw it at the helicopter” ⁃ Practical fart effects

THEY DON’T DO ENOUGH COMBAT, I THINK. I WANT MORE KILLING. • Coffin Run ⁃ Jasmine Bhullar loves combat. Every time you think she’s done there’s another mini ⁃ Complex train calculations have real world battle implications ⁃ Instead of hit points they drink blood • The Seven ⁃ A bunch of women gather together to kick the shit out of Brennan specifically ⁃ Combat flow charts! Rolling thirty d20 with advantage for your attack geese! Etc!! • A Crown of Candy ⁃ IH season most focused on combat. It’s also the most lethal. Brennan is actively trying to kill them the entire time ⁃ The roleplay episodes WILL make you cry so keep that in mind. This is the season that made Lou start smoking cigarettes again to cope ⁃ There are also the covid zoom adventuring parties which are great

I WANT THERE TO BE A MYSTERY I CAN SOLVE • Neverafter ⁃ This season is the perfect blend of mystery and all the other stuff that makes DnD a great game. Sick combats. Complex yet familiar world building. The line “the smile of a devil you never believed in.” ⁃ Players really at their best and fully dialed into all the various factions which is good bc the lore is HEAVY ⁃ Beardsley is the grandpa with the plot important prop and Murph is a silly divorcée so there are plenty of shenanigans still • Fantasy High ⁃ Every single season of this has a great mystery at the heart with enough clues that you could figure it out ahead of time, maybe. I never did but that’s a me thing ⁃ Brennan kept a secret for 5 years of his real adult life for the sickest reveal of all time. Sam Reich torturing Gamechanger contestants coded. ⁃ Riz Gukgak is there • Mentopolis ⁃ If Inside Out was a 1930s noir ⁃ Large part of the mystery requires them to contemplate what’s going on with their big guy’s junk… there’s buzzing down there! It’s narratively important! ⁃ Hank Green is there • Of Mice and Murder ⁃ I’ve never seen this one but it’s The Mystery Season so. I assume it fits well into this category

WATCHED A FEW SEASONS AND NEED TO KNOW WHAT’S NEXT • Starstruck ⁃ DON’T ask questions just watch NOW ⁃ The funniest season hands down and immediately post covid so the vibes are joyous. Stupid. Perfect. The first major battle includes an exploding MLM sex goo factory and it only goes up from there ⁃ Brennan’s mom is there • Burrow’s End ⁃ IMO one of the perfect ways to get into the d20 sidequests, especially if you’re like “ugh but I’m going to miss the intrepid heroes though…” ⁃ Every PC is related. Specifically Izzy Rolland (my beloved) and Siobhan Thompson (my beloved 2) are playing Brennan’s children and they are having a GOOD time ⁃ Three gross battle sets and a lightning gun

I’M TIRED OF LORE I WANT TO SEE THE GIRLS GO CRAZY • Time Quangle ⁃ The whole point of the tour was to go hm… what would happen if all the characters got smushed together and nothing made sense? ⁃ Does require some knowledge of previous seasons and has minor spoilers ⁃ Also has a Beardsley nat 20 so spectacular the PCs beat Brennan up right there on the stage in front of God and everybody • NSBU ⁃ The directive of the season from Brennan was “what if I never said no? What if I just yes anded everything that got thrown my way?” and YEAH dude he DELIVERED ⁃ Looked right at camera and said “Let me out baby!! It’s time for Daddy to have fun!!!” ⁃ Basically Beardsley is playing the straight man if you can believe it

[ghastghoul]

My Transformers OC compilation, for funsies:

Okay so the first OC that I designed while watching the G1 cartoon and Transformers: Animated for the first time in forever was Shift Click.

G1 Design (with a bonus sketch where I drew him in a comic style):

I'm not too great at drawing vehicles atm so I decided to make a minibot that became a computer mouse to make up for that. I'd like to think that his best ally/friend would be Blaster since he was actually my favorite side character from the Autobot roster, along with Jazz. Shift Click the type to take up human culture like a sponge but isn't very open about it and he enjoys humanity's various takes on robots in media.

Transformers Animated Design:

In TFA I see him as more open, but he never sees Earth. He hates Sentinel whenever he sees the mech and he's honestly a bit isolated by what he does. When his skills aren't being used to get intel on the enemy then he's not doing much as he's on the lazy side. I'm not sure if his alt. mode is the same as his G1 counterpart (computer mouse), honestly.

I also played around with the idea of him as a Decepticon, not canon to his lore but for fun:

Then I have another TF:A OC named Pulldown:

His alt. mode is a drive-in theater projector. He's an ex-Decepticon that used to work with Swindle, his projection abilities once being used to show off products Swindle tried selling before having a falling out. Pulldown tries very hard to hide his past but he honestly sucks at it, poor fella. He also lies when he ends up on Earth and claims to be part of Autobot intel, but that's debunked fast and it forces him to be honest.

Now we've got my wonderful ✨️babygirl✨️, my ✨️pookie✨️, my love - the Beast Wars OC I designed named Shatter Fang:

Shatter Fang's beast mode is a Moray Eel. His protoform was thought to be lost to the sea after the Predacons dropped his pod into the salty waters below their battle ground, devastating the Maximals trying to salvage him. Cheetor later finds a moray eel swimming oddly close to the water's edge and realizes what happened, that the protoform had not only survived but had taken on a beast mode, and he's elated when he gives Primal the good news.

His processor is a bit wonky as he often confuses similar words with eachother when speaking (Ex: instead of saying "My apologies," he may say "My sorries"), but he has a respectable spark and (later on) the passion of a warrior. When he meets the Maximals he's wary and afraid. Optimus Primal decides to let Dinobot act as his mentor, teaching him how to fight in this war; but when Shatter Fang encounters a Pred for the first time he fumbles and attempts to run from combat, at least until Dinobot accuses him of being a total coward unworthy of respect. After helping his new allies win the fight he decides to dedicate all his energy toward earning the respect of his mentor as well as his other Maximal brethren.

And finally, my newest OC named Wavewader:

Since he's so new I don't have too much on him at the moment, but his submarine alt mode was actually inspired by SuBlue Water Scooters and just stylized submarine/ship designs one may see in animation.

If I had to give any feel for his personality so far, it's very calm and easy to be around. He gets down to business as it's needed.

[crepes-suzette-373]

One Piece Magazine Reiju short story

I recently bought One Piece Magazine to read the Reiju short story. I don't know how to share this experience other than just straight up translating the whole thing, but it was utterly hilarious chaos with the brothers trying to cook and it just ended up being a disastrous mess.

I'll give a summary, I guess...

Reiju and her brothers went to another kingdom for a diplomatic discussion, but once they were done, the Germa ships that were supposed to pick them up got delayed by the weather. The bros can't wait so they demand the locals to be given a ship.

Niji/Yonji: "Oh good, they understand. So we don't have to steal a ship."

Well, they did tell the people that Germa will compensate them, but still.

And yeah, the guys were so hungry that they were like "Even though royals shouldn't do menial things like cooking, we're dying of hunger here so it can't be helped."

All writers apparently agree that Niji misses Sanji like an utter dumbass because in the kitchen he out of nowhere says "Didn't we used to have a younger brother called Sanji who likes to cook?"

Yonji says "Yeah, he was kind of lame" and Ichiji says there's been wanted posters of him being spread around.

(Edit: I saw another post saying that the one who brought up Sanji first is Ichiji. To be fair, in the actual text there's no dialogue tags indicating who was talking. It's definitely not Yonji, because it specified "younger" brother. I personally read this as Niji because the sentence was more informal-sounding)

Based on the info they got, Reiju is aware of Sanji's history with Baratie and the Straw Hat crew, and thinks that because he's listed as just a cook on the wanted posters and not "fighter/combatant", he's probably still not much stronger than before.

Ichiji found some pork, labelled to be from Broc Coli. Reiju mentioned that Broc Coli specialises in pig farming and the pigs have been selectively bred to improve the meat quality. Ichiji commented "Oh, it's similar to our lineage factor modification, then", but then the next second he suddenly gets mad about it himself, throws the meat to the ground and was like "How could pigs compare to our Vinsmoke royal family."

Reiju: "You brought it up yourself out of nowhere though? :/"

Ichiji is grumpy and wants to go fishing instead. With the Raid Suit. Don't know how, wasn't explained, maybe he Sparking Valkyrie'd the fishes.

Niji wants to make chocolates, but had a meltdown because the recipe calls for cooking/confectioner's chocolate. He was like "Why?? do you?? need chocolate?? to make chocolate??? If the chocolate is already there I'll just eat that directly???"

(Note: It's not making cake or brownies or anything, it's making something along the lines of chocolate truffles or milk chocolates or other forms of chocolate that isn't just straight up dark chocolate/confectioner's chocolate. He's confused because the final product is still just "chocolate")

Yonji wants to make bread because it looks easy. Reiju decided to try to make something too, and wanted to make tamagoyaki (Japanese rolled omelettes) because she remembered reading about it in a story book with Sora before.

Reiju's logic: "If a penguin (in the story book) can cook, then even a beginning like me can do it." (so much for Reiju being the rational one)

Yonji starts shouting for help. His bread is a goopy mess and is a total failure. Apparently he didn't add the yeast because the recipe says 3g of yeast, and that's almost 0, so he didn't add any. Reiju tells him to make sure to follow the steps properly.

Ichiji comes back with a giant fish, and is asking for poison check. No poison, so Reiju left him to cut the fish.

Yonji is still having trouble, and he says he had added the ingredients properly this time. The dough is still gloopy and will not firm up even after kneading. Reiju said that maybe because of the exoskeleton, their skin are too cold for the fermentation process to start activating.

Yonji is grumpy and asks if this means he can't make bread. Reiju suggest using hot water to warm his skin, but he's already really disgruntled and says that it's so lame that they have to rely on microorganisms to make bread (well, at least he knows yeast is microorganisms, not just another type of flour).

(Note: This part really does not sound right to me, honestly. Maybe this was just meant to show that Reiju and Yonji have zero knowledge in cooking, but bread dough not firming up and gloopy is usually not related to yeast or fermentation, but the gluten. Most cases that I know of are either caused by adding too much water, not enough kneading, the flour itself is not suitable for bread, or even the dough being over fermented. I've never heard of sticky dough problems being caused by hand temperature.)

(Edit: I've discovered that Japanese bread making guides do mention temperature affecting the dough, but it's nevertheless because of the gluten and not the yeast. This one might a goof on the author's side.)

Ichiji gave up fileting the fish because there's bones everywhere. he dumped all the dead fishes he caught back to the sea. Yonji gave up trying to make bread and tossed the failed dough away (and also threw away Reiju's egg attempt even though it was fine :/). Niji can't find any chocolate, so he has nothing.

They can't do anything except wait until they reach Germa and then just go "AAAAAAA FOOODD" (well, they act cool in front of the servants, but still).

Reiju herself showered and got cleaned up first before going to eat. Seeing the poisoned stonefish served, she wondered how normal chefs handle the poisonous ingredients and so she went to the kitchen to ask.

There was a young cook on cleaning duty that immediately panics, but then a senior cook named Beryl came out to answer her questions. Reiju says old lady Beryl has been there for a very long time, even before the kids were born.

Beryl explains that to treat the armoured stonefish to make it safe to eat is to let it swim in a tank with Ruby Wakame seaweed. The seaweed will absorb the toxins and after 3 weeks, the fish will change from purple to blue, and this indicates that the toxins is completely gone and it will be safe to eat.

An easier method would be to just skin the fish and take out the poisonous organs, but fish skin is a delicacy, and so the chefs would do this so they can serve cuts of the fish with the skin attached.

Reiju makes a comment that cooking must be very hard because her brothers are all picky eaters (not just Niji, apparently), but Beryl says she and the other chefs are happy to adjust the prep to make the food palatable to the boys.

"Ichiji-sama dislikes green vegetables, but if you chop it up finely and mix it with meat dishes such as hamburg steaks, he will eat it without noticing."

Reiju: Is he a toddler?

(Note: Dunno if this is a universal thing, but it's a Japanese thing that when toddlers hate vegetables, the parents would chop up vegetables and put it in meatballs or the toddler's other favourite food so that they can get the vegetable nutrients even though the child dislikes the vegetable's taste)

"Niji-sama dislikes things with complex seasonings, so things like the sauces and such has to be made to be very simple to the utmost extent."

Reiju: That's dumb.

"Yonji-sama doesn't like food with dry texture, but if it's served to him when he gets hungry between meal times, he'll usually eat it."

Reiju: Is he a dog?

(Note: There is a section where Reiju muses that the cooks "safeguards" their meals just like how "Germa 66 protect peace". What peace? In the main series they're fine with siding with whoever, as long as they get paid. This comment doesn't make sense unless maybe she was being ironic/sarcastic here.)

Reiju apologised for bothering the cooks at this time, and Beryl then lets slip that Sanji has been to the kitchens often. When Reiju presses further, eventually Beryl reveals that Sora likes to make desserts often. Sora would say that she hoped to someday be able to cook together with her kids.

Hearing this Reiju briefly fantasised baking together with her mother and Sanji. Knowing it's just idle fantasy, though, she thanks Beryl for telling her all these and helping her appreciate cooking more.

Reiju thinks of Sanji and reevaluates her opinions on him. He's not "just" a cook. People's lives are basically in the hands of the cook, especially on long voyages at sea. She is glad that him having a place as a ship's cook means that he's found good friends who rely on him and trust him.

She then transforms, and uses her ability to suck out the poison from the fish, saying that the cooks are welcome to ask her for help to take out the poison if they need to cook with the stonefish.

[pig-warship]

Dislyte OCs!? Old AND New???

You may remember Fable from an old post of mine where I they had almost the same design, but now that I’m 2 years older and have more of an understanding of what Dislyte is like, I kinda got carried away hehe-

Short descriptions under the cut!

Fable is still a bounty hunter of rogue Espers, meaning they get into many a conflict with powerful entities. They sympathize with a lot of them, but ultimately must stop them.

Shinju is a member of the Twilight Order, less direct than Yamato or Moroyama, and not as separated as Yuuhime, and more of a trusted independent. Being apart of a dangerous society, they are never spared of a hostile enemy.

Kaviir was previously untainted by the Miracles, a researcher studying how it could shift people to Espers, and what relationship they have with Miramon. Unfortunately, he tapped in too deep and explored where he shouldn’t… something in him changed alongside his exterior.

Santiago was more thrilled to become an Esper than most people. His physical strength was multiplied, he gained an affinity to fire, and his wrestling abilities became immortalized by Xiuhtecuhtli. He uses them for entertainment, now, while having to fight for real sometimes.

Makena left her home after being exposed to the Miracles, at fear of becoming a monster to them, and instead settling down somewhere else. At first wanting to hide, once she discovered the healing affinity she was granted now, she decided to become a wandering medic for Espers and Humans alike.

Dandapani is a respected Esper despite being a self proclaimed protector of Humans. Unfortunately, with this title, he’s considered a traitor to Espers, especially since he has to take some of them out to help protect those who can’t protect themselves. His ego, though, has left Humans to also distance from him.

Lucia is one of three sisters who became Espers, she herself being gifted with premonitions of death and defeat. More of a trickster than anything, she loves to just observe as bad things happen, all while a little too excited about them.

Adonis was a product of war and conflict, truly never having down time, especially when he became an Esper. He’s been with the Esper Union for a long time now, and despite his combat focused drive, he does long for affection and the idea of settling down.

Kekoa is your standard guardian Esper, helping people at sea but also the Union, with food, good vibes, and muscle! He’s always been a… not too bright guy, but at least now he’s focused on helping!

Yuriko became an Esper with her sister after a Miracle ascended near their home town, losing her humanity in the process as well as her sister. She’s extremely nice and a valuable asset to have, but she’s so focused on saving her sister that sometimes she can lose track.

I’ve made so many Espers now and I’m having so much fun!! I have ideas for more but I’m trying to slow down now~

[1u11ablues]

No Doubts Anymore (Simon 'Ghost' Riley x You) [Dual POV]

WC: Almost 3k

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Slight Angst, Not Beta-read.

Alternate ending where Simon didn't die, as requested by an anon!

Part 1

Deep, almost purple lines had been a permanent feature of your face, now. Where your eyeliner used to go, there are now tear lines extending from the corner of your eyes—a product of sleepless nights and unhealed grief.

Has it been four months now? Five? Hell, half a year? Time heals all wounds, they said, yet you wake up with more pieces tumbling out of your chest every day that sleep decides to grant you mercy.

Simon’s balaclava, all his bloody shirts that he used to wear, they lie pristine where you last kept them. 

In a box, inside the closet.

For you fear the scent of him will disappear with every touch, every kiss upon his belongings.

But sometimes—like tonight—it gets unbearable.

Curled up on the mattress, bedsheets probably moulding in the dryer back when you had the sudden burst of energy to be productive, you took a rationed inhale of the skull balaclava in your arms. 

The position was a pain to maintain. Yet, even that kind of pain was preferable. Maybe if you’re in enough physical pain, angry enough, drunk enough-

You’d said no to Price’s repeated recommendations to see a therapist, because how could he understand?

How could the man ever understand the irrational, undeserved hatred—that you’d tried to tell yourself off for—you had against him for having a hand in Simon’s death?

It was just one of the multiple poisons you’d let into your body. Hatred. Substance. Isolation.

“You’re supposed to get up, love. The bills are stacking up.”

And sometimes, like today, the ghost of him materialised to taunt you with an untouchable form. Sitting on his side of the bed—not even kind enough to make a dip on the mattress to tell you that he’s there—and talking you out of misery.

“When’s the last time you’ve eaten something? This is not how you move on.”

“I don’t want to move on! You left. You didn’t even give me a chance to say goodbye- I hate you. With all my heart, I hate you, Simon Riley.”

And, like clockwork, he disappeared into thin air.

***

It is over. He had kept up the ruse, going along with Price’s plan to pronounce several soldiers dead just so he can join a team of spies to infiltrate enemy bases and gather valuable intel.

So he spied, waiting things out until Price gave him the go-ahead to leave, knowing what was waiting for him at home; the state in which he’d left things at.

He didn’t want Price to drop his box onto your lap and let you know that he was dead. Because what use would it be for him to fight against hell, to keep the breath in his throat if it weren’t for the sake of coming home to your arms?

Still, he relented. And, for it to work,, he had to rid himself of every trace of you, just so there would be no connection linking him to his one and only pressure point.

But it’s over now, and God, he has a lifetime of apologising to do.

As soon as he reached his quarters, he knelt by the mattress he’d slept on many a night that he wasn’t able to spend besides you. He lifted it up, and under it—if one knows where to look—was a stitch where he’d taken a drag of his combat knife to before his mission, hid one item of yours he wasn’t strong enough to burn, and meticulously threaded the hole back together.

This time, his slice met with less resistance. He reached into the fillings and felt around, and, there-

He pulled out the glossy picture of you he used to keep in his wallet and brought with him to everywhere he could go. 

He got it from the time he’d taken you out on the walk in mid-autumn, letting you pester him to try one of those seasonal drinks he used to care less about. There’s a photo booth right out of the cafe and, of course, you pulled him into it and took so many pictures he’d gone half-blind, but this picture wasn’t from that, no. When you were ordering the drinks, he came back out to the booth because he noticed there was an option to print his own picture from his phone. 

He did his best to figure out how the fuck was he to connect his phone to sync up his gallery to it, but it worked eventually.

That damned machine ate almost thirty pounds off his wallet to print out his favourite pictures of you.

One where you were petting a dog. One where you were biting into a caramel apple. One where you had the most ridiculous foam mustache. And this one-

Where you were asleep, right next to him. An image of peace that he regrets not being able to bring you more.

Instinctually, he brought the picture to his chest, right where his heart still beat. 

He’s coming home and making sure he treats you well for the rest of his life.

***

When he reached the flat, his spirit deflated, realising that it was empty.

Well, at least, that’s how it seemed from the outside. It was all dark, quiet. There was nothing that could indicate life within the walls of your home, until he heard soft, inconsistent sniffles behind the door, getting fainter and fainter the more you moved away from it.

Even though the key was in his hand, he figured it would be most sensible to knock. After all, you were under the impression that he was dead up until three days ago, when Price had hopefully relayed the actual news to you, giving you ample time to react.

Three classic knocks. No answer.

Another three. The sniffles had died down. Were you asleep?

After about five minutes of waiting, he finally decided to use the front door key. 

It’s late, he thought, and you were probably comfortably sleeping.

Like he noticed from outside, the darkness bathed the entire space. Save for the dim glow from the battery-powered LED snow globe that doubled as your nightlight—signs that you were awake were minimal.

I’ll just crawl into bed and hold her, he thought, until an unpleasant smell wafted from the kitchenette.

The sequences of what greeted him? A miserable discovery.

Overflowing bins, unwashed plates. Spoiled food leaking out of the refrigerator and a full load of clothes were still in the dryer.

In truth, Simon had a feeling you’d fall into depression a week or two—a month maximum—before you moved on from his ‘death.’

It had been a year. Has this been your year? Falling into unkemptness when he never knew you to love clutter?

“Love?” He called out, softly, just in case you were really asleep. He tossed his belongings on the sofa unceremoniously—where he put his belongings were the last thing on his mind at the moment—before making his way to the bedroom.

The sight shushed his brain to a ringing silence.

In the middle of the room was the box of his military belongings, opened, its cover flapping against the opening at every oscillation of the standing fan in the corner of the room.

Two things were making sounds at that moment. The fan, supposedly comfortable white noise now an attack to his senses; you, struggling to get a breath in as you cried, hair matted and red sores visible on the sides of your hip.

“Fuck me- Love-” he immediately moved up to the side of the bed. You were facing the other way, curled up and hugging something close to your chest.

“It’s me, love, I’m back, I’m sorry,” words stumble out of his mouth in wasteful attempts. Not even managing to elicit a reaction out of you.

Hell, it took him almost a full five minutes of apologising before you even turned back to look at him.

And the first words that had come out of your lips?

“I hate you, and I wish I had never met you.”

***

Again, the vision of him came to torment you. 

What is it this time? To tell you to air the room out? To drink more water?

Again, you tell him the words that would normally make him disappear.

“I hate you, and I wish I had never met you.”

It was like a spell that you had used to stop unwanted hallucinations—or so you thought. They always come back and it takes sleeping to finally stop some of the visions.

This one didn’t seem to budge. In fact, it answered! Maybe you need to take up Price’s offer for professional help.

“You don’t mean that, darling…” he spoke, face absent of the non-expression you were used to seeing in the figment of him that continues to visit you.

Of course, you don’t mean it. But how else would you deal with the fact that you’re slowly losing your mind? How else are you going to attempt to move-

The touch on your face is warm. Textured.

You can’t remember the last time you dreamt about being touched like that again, his hands brushing hair away from your face, and this time, oh, how cruel is it for it to feel this real?

How cruel, how evil?

With fresh tears and wobbly lips—your attempt at trying to hold on from simply breaking down—you whispered, “You never gave me the chance to say goodbye. Don’t you love me enough to even give me that, Simon? Am I not worth a single glance back, when we fought, when I asked you if the mission was more important than your life? Than us?”

The fight, your last memory of him, was unfortunately always the fight. 

When you were uselessly clinging to him to not go because your inkling was proved true—it wasn’t a mission that he’ll come back from.

Even knowing that, he kept it to himself. You were to read and interpret his facial expressions and body language yourself, coming to your own realisation that he was given a death mission.

“I hate you,” you say again, “I don’t think I will be able to move on from you. Go away, please. Don’t haunt me anymore.”

Turning your back on him, the silence tells you that the vision had dissipated. A deep sense of regret fills you, intermingling with loss and guilt that tasted like bile in your throat.

You didn’t mean that; you didn’t mean to be mean. Maybe if you turn around and apologise, it could help ease the process. Maybe, maybe-

His sad eyes still stared down at you. It didn’t work.

Where his arms rested, the mattress dented.

“Do you mean it? Have I returned to find you hating me?”

***

He didn’t know if you’d even let him touch you, so his arms rested on the uncovered mattress and hoped for the best.

It sounded like you’ve developed venom for him. Rightfully so, given the way you ended things before he went off on the year-long mission. 

Simon was not good at that, the talking part of a relationship. Despite how he presents himself, he still stuttered over his words and lost his speech when being in love occupied a big part of his brain—rendering any sort of poetic affection null. His body speaks for him most of the time.

“Am I losing my mind, or have the ghost of you taken on a physical form?”

The confusion in your face was apparently enough to put a pause on the sobs. You hadn’t an idea how relieved he is at the lack of them. Never in his life would he want to make you cry as hard again, if he could help it.

“It’s me, sweetheart. I’m back. It was a covert mission…haven’t Price informed you?”

He didn’t expect a ‘welcome home’ with cakes and a banner—but he admitted, the least he wished for was a hug. A tight, long hug, followed by a night of holding each other until his body couldn’t physically take it anymore.

Has he gone and ruined it?

“Price?” Your hands thud against the bed to feel for your phone. It had been days since you last checked it, or more. Time moves differently when you’re busy nursing loss and heartbreak. Realising the device was nowhere close, you finally got off the bed—after spending a consecutive day and a half in it—to scan the nearest floor and then-

Ah, there it is. You picked it up and unlocked the screen. 

Your eyes bulged as the notifications rolled through the notifications bar, Price’s name consisting of the majority of it.

Simon trails your every movement. After his question, it took you several pauses to think, but almost a quarter of the time to look for your phone, which had undoubtedly dropped somewhere on the floor throughout the day.

His breath stills as he watched your eyes increasingly widen reading the messages. Messages that should’ve reached you at least a couple days ago, that were to prepare you for his arrival.

“Simon?” You called out as you read through each of Price’s explanations and apology. There was another number that tried to reach you, too. Also, a series of apologies—this time, more intimate.

“I’m here,” he answered. God, he wanted to hold you so, so badly. But he can wait. He waited for a year with nothing but the memories and dreams of you to keep him going. He can wait the few moments more that it took you to decide on a path.

“Simon, is- is that really you? I’m not imagining things? I swear, if it’s my head again, this is really cruel-“

“It’s me, love. It’s really me. Not a hallucination. I’m home.”

You look at the figure on the other side of the bed. Slowly, you climbed onto the mattress, scooting ever so hesitantly with your knees to the middle of the queen sized-bed, hands reaching out half-expecting your touch to go through him.

Damn it, he couldn’t wait. When you got onto the bed, his body rushed to mirror the movement, meeting you halfway and grabbing your hand to place it over his cheek—now with an additional scar over his jaw.

His eyes shut. Your touch upon him righted his world again, and suddenly-

He’s crying. Or at least, about to. He’s here, and warm and tears brim his eyes, somehow never falling down. 

Most importantly, he’s home.

“My dear, what have they done to you?”

He’d returned to you almost unrecognisable—the certain look in his eyes that made him Simon washed away until only a dull imitation remains.

“Not now, love. I don’t want to talk about it now.” 

He’d gone through torture before, and came out of it with deeper scars than the last. 

But this torture was different. The enemy they were against was known for targeting the person closest to whomever was against them, thus the need to cut contact with you. Every night was a constant pacing, wondering if they had found you, if you were okay. Every damned moment, your imagined screams and cries took over his decisions, despite him trying his best to keep his head on the mission.

The torture was visions of you being in his place.

“Please, is it too late for me to answer your question now?”

“What question?” 

You were always the more emotional one in the relationship. So, despite all the tears you’ve exhausted through months of mourning, there was no surprise that your body had decided to create more. 

Though, this time, it was his head pressed to your chest instead of the other way around. Because yes, you may have suffered through the loss of him, but he had been actively fighting for his life in that same duration—and having to hide all of it from you, too, never having the comfort of home at the end of the day.

Your question, which had been making a home out of his skeleton by now. 

“When you asked me if I love you. If I did enough to stay.”

You remembered that. It was a last ditch effort—perhaps a manipulative way to make sure he stays. It was a question you regretted asking. Because Simon is Simon, and there were more lives at stake than making sure your pretty little heart stays unbroken.

“I didn’t mean to ask that. Simon, it was wrong of me-“

“Yes, I do.” His answer resolute. That was to be his last mission, and he decided the minute the door closed on him when he left the flat that day. His last, and he’s going home—and if he’s lucky, you would still be there for him. 

Simon straightened and this time, took you in his lap. When you didn’t fight, he leaned down and hesitated for a kiss over your lips.

When you reciprocated, his tears fucking fell, seasoning the kiss with its salty essence. 

But you didn’t pull away. You kissed him, and every inch of his face, paying extra attention to the fresh scar on his jaw.

You pulled back from the kiss when you started losing breath. 

“You do?” You ask, suddenly remembering the velvet box next to his dog tag resting on the dresser beside the bed. Your eyes slid to it.

Simon’s eyes followed the direction yours went.

Fuck, he thought, forgetting that he had intended to propose right after his last mission. Well, apparently the secret’s out.

“I do, I love you. And I will make sure to not make you doubt me anymore. I love you, darling. You keep my head above water.”

Perhaps it will take time to go back to the way it was. Time, and lots of outside help.

After all, there would be no sunrise without the darkest of nights.

“And you keep my feet on the ground. I love you too, Simon.”

[disarmd]

For the fic ask game: feel free to do one or all of these 💕

4, 17 and 24

[fic ask game]

4. a story idea you haven't written yet

i already mentioned my unhinged porny rapunzel idea, but i have lots of story ideas, so i will answer again, haha. i think a lot about a lando/max/ofc fic, like the whole story be one scene where they're out partying together. it would obviously have to be au- no partners and children. but lando thinking max is straight and trying to navigate a bi threesome with him would be 10/10. i don't want to describe it too fully now in case i actually do end up writing it but themes around masculinity, competition/friendship, internalized homophobia. and a threesome. so, that's the stuff.

24. how do you recharge when you're not feeling creative

i'm just going to keep saying this every time i answer a question on this topic to try to do my tiny part to combat productivity obsession, but if i don't want to write, i just think: yeah, you're tired, you don't have to write. but it can be really hard, like sometimes i'll feel bad and i'll think i want to write, but it actually makes me feel worse.

but to actually answer the question, broad strokes, i think it's like:

do i want to feel more inspired? that often comes from consuming other people's art. can't happen on demand, because it has to be the right thing that hits in the right way, but when the feeling hits, it's the greatest joy.

do i want to have more things to write about? might have to go out and do some living. sometimes have to refill the lived experience tank.

do i want to feel more connected to a creative community? i was hitting a wall writing in abidance where it felt like i'd been writing it for quite a long time, so i decided to start posting, and that ended up being the absolute best decision. going from more solitary to a shared experience of communication made me feel so recharged, and it went from "finishing so it'll be done" to like "finishing so i can share with these specific people who have been so awesome." or if a don't have a wip in a place where i can start posting, just getting to come on tumblr and do like fic ask games or talk about writing generally can feel really recharging. and then certainly getting to hang out in friends' gdocs and like being in that reader role instead of the writer one. the balance of creating and contributing and consuming.

and then just looking after the meatsack. i am not feeling creative today because i threw my neck out on tuesday and haven't been sleeping all week and there's nothing that's going to fix that other than HOPEFULLY eventually not being in pain and catching up on sleep. i'm trying to do more strength training but apparently i'm only capable of lifting from my neck and it's making me so fucking mad, even though i went to a physio who said my form was correct and i shouldn't be having problems, but anyway. human bodies, unfortunately. they do also impact our brains.

17. talk about your writing and editing process

i wrote the longest response to this, which i imagine most people won't want to read, but eye personally love hearing about other people's writing process, so this is like the FULL ANSWER in case there are other folks who feel the same.

i only start writing when i've got past daydreaming about ~vibes and have the actual shape of a story in my mind. not full and complete, but a story shaped story, broadly. then, i write whatever i am most interested in, from any part of the story. however, because i love delayed gratification, i usually save some amount of the stuff i'm most excited about to write last. it's very comforting, if you're feeling stuck, to know you've got Scene XYZ saved, and you already know how that's going to go and you're confident you're going to be able to write it, so you're not STUCK stuck. you're just having trouble with some of the story.

depending, i might write a whole scene in one writing session, or multiple small ones, or just scene fragments. sometimes i come to the same scene multiple times. like if you imagine i have to write everything from one through ten, i might write 3 and 4, and then another day write 6, and then another day 2, 7 and 9. like just keep coming back to chip away at it. and i do think of it as chipping away, because it feels like i'm approaching it from different angles. first we carve away this, then this, then that. i start as close as possible to the thing that matters most in the scene instead of working my way up to it. often it turns out a scene can start very close to the best bit.

but it can get to the point of being quite annoying to have so many different unfinished parts, so eventually i start going through chronologically and finishing things. i'll move the finished stuff to a separate gdoc to share with a friend. in addition to everything else amazing about having someone willing to look at your WIP, i really really like being incentivized to finish entire sections. like, boom, first chapter done and gone. i'm pretty good at holding a lot of stuff in my head, but eventually the mental load gets to me a bit. also i use white space to represent how much text there should ultimately be between different scene fragments and at a certain point it's just irritating to have to scroll so much.

as i'm writing, i spend a lot of time moving scenes around and changing the order of information delivery, which i guess is called figuring out pacing and crafting the narrative arc. perhaps because i don't write chronologically, scenes feel very movable to me, and i think i see it visually in my head more like a film editor. i know it seems like A would have to follow B would have to follow C, and sometimes that's true, but often it's like: you can have A first OR you can have B first, but if A is first it's going to hit this way or vice versa, and either can work but you have to approach some details differently. i think a lot about how it maps out on the -- I'll use "intimacy" as the catch-all word, but it can be a lot of different things -- how it maps out on the intimacy graph, where two characters are getting close and then repelling apart before coming closer yet. should events happen when people are feeling good towards each other, or bad? so sometimes "writing" is just rearranging scene fragments.

I don't do it all the time, but for a decent number of scenes i'll write them out in my head first. and by that I don't mean imagine it, though i also do that: i'll actually "write" by thinking the literal words. and then i'll see where that gets to, and often it goes too far this way, so then i can rewind and branch it somewhere different instead. things happen different in words as opposed to imagination. in imagination you can gloss over the points of friction. in writing, a character can't ask for it, he has to say the literal words. writing it in my head makes it easier to then sit down and actually type it on the keyboard, and often i've been able to work through issues already.

by the last 10-15% of the story, all that should be left to write is the most unhinged porn scene, because i save the best of last, and probably the bulk of the final scenes. it's important to me to know the ending -- in broad strokes -- pretty much as soon as i start writing, but i save physically writing it until the end to make sure it'll feel tonally correct.

i consider everything i just described to be writing, but there are some parts of that which could be considered editing. i do some amount of word level/line edits in the wip doc, but more passes over in the gdoc annotated by the kind friend. sometimes it's quite torturous to read over your own writing and when i'm actively editing… oh girl she's a critical brain. she's mean. you don't want her sitting beside you on the bus. she's going to have you crying before you're even pulled off your street. but in the nice gdoc there are other people's words, literally, and it pulls me back into remembering it's possible to like the story. and ideally i do! and i have some moments or maybe there are even some scenes that consistently manage to make me feel good spending time in the story. because i'm writing what i want to read. like i always INTEND on having fun with it.

i edit for typos (i make a lot), grammar, clarity, repetition in any form - so using the same word, action, sentence structure (i love intentional repetition of parallel sentences but i do it too much in my early drafts and have to weed out the weaklings). redundancy or over explanation. too much itemized description of physical actions. ing verbs. useless words ("almost"). sentence and paragraph length. voice in dialogue, word choices, rhythm. continuity and correctness. sometimes i've missed bits between two scene fragments, which needs to be filled in. i'll delete whole sentences and maybe a paragraph, but not likely a larger chunk than that. i delete a lot, but usually end up with a net increase to the word count because i'm more likely to have gone too sparse. i add prose around dialogue, space between action, additional layers of description, sometimes physicality.

but then the final final edit is probably going to be deleting yet again, and, now, the story is done!

we did it, guys, we got all the way to the end (of this epic post and of the hypothetical story haha). ily and you're a hero if you're actually reading these words.

[rad-batson]

THIS IS FOR FANS OF CASSANDRA CAIN! PLEASE READ! I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS

(skip to the bottom if you just want silly headcanons about her :D)

Hello! So first, I want to thank everyone who read the Wayne pilot I made :) I appreciate your feedback, and I love you all.

As I'm preparing to post it on AO3, I decided to make a few (admittedly small) changes to the script, primarily around Cassandra Cain, because I haven't quite fleshed her out yet.

I don't have much experience with writing Cass, so I decided to do a bit of research on her yesterday, and wouldn't you know? I fell in love. 10/10. She didn't play a huge part in the pilot, but she will have a bigger one in the second episode, and there are a few things I think can or should be added so she doesn't feel too one-note.

There wasn't anyone who told me this, by the way. (In fact, I actually got some nice comments about her so thank you.) I just had it in the back of my mind while writing, and now that Cass is getting more screen time, I'm finding that my lack of knowledge might lead to mischaracterization.

SO TO COMBAT THIS, I MADE A GUIDE FOR MYSELF ON HOW TO WRITE CASS

Is this overkill? Probably Think of it as a silly headcanon list for my version of her. And I'm posting it here because I want your feedback before it's set in stone. (I know Cass isn't written well a lot, so this is my attempt to right these horrid wrongs.)

If you're going to give criticism, please be constructive. Tell me what you like or don't like. I'm all ears. Have fun :)

Writing Cass

(Btw I still gotta read Cass’s first Batgirl run by Kelley Puckett)

Has some sass, has a lot actually

Used to be awkward in social settings. she’s better at it when she’s with people so she can match their energy but she still prefers to just dip

Speaks in short-ish sentences, trying her best tho

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT, I JUST WANT TO KNOW TO WHAT DEGREE?? OR IS IT REALLY FINE

Mostly just relies on body language though

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT TOO, ESPECIALLY WITH THE ASL SCENE (BUT IT’S NOT REPLACING THE ASL)

also yes i know her using ASL isn't canon, it just works best for the scene, it would have been written the same whether she was in it or not, it is still a cute nod to fanon tho

Steph and Cass are extremely close BUT ALSO HAVE SEPARATE LIVES (I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO STRESS THAT AND I AGREE)

Messy, low-key gross. Bad-ish hygiene but she’s good at looking put-together so only those close know this about her (this is just my headcanon)

Often forgets bigger words so she occasionally uses the wrong one, she ALSO mixes up proverbs but no one corrects her because 1: it’s cute and 2: they don’t want to discourage her from speaking with them more casually (also my headcanon)

Cass: So I pulled the door off its…*makes motion with hand*…metal books. Steph: Do you mean hinge— Cass: Metal books.

Dick: Well that was a surprise. I didn’t know The Penguin would be here. Cass, nodding: Well life gives you grapes Dick: Wut Cass: You make grape juice. Get on the same book, Nightwing

I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT ADDING THIS ONE BECAUSE IDK LET ME KNOW PLEASE

Is a cinnamon bun AND a little shit, it’s a balancing act

Production: She’s Wayne’s darling Princess Cass: *will break your fingers*

She does appear behind the camera crew to scare them on purpose, she thinks it’s funny, she likes seeing them freak out

She is super competitive, but she's always like "Oh I'm not that competitive" *proceeds to be very competitive*

Because she isn't super confident in her writing or speaking (or just uncomfortable communicating without seeing the other person's body language) she prefers to Facetime or simply reply to texts with selfies of her reaction. It is a thing now. when you need an honest opinion about an outfit, text a photo to Cass. She will either give back a photo of a thumbs up or a photo of a grimace and some not-so-flattering emojis

Her princess persona is her public cover persona in this show, parallel to Bruce’s “Brucie” and Dick’s “born for the cameras” thing

Is surprisingly vocal (and sometimes snippy) about her distaste with things but she mostly gets a pass because her morals align best with Bruce’s

Is most snippy when her family uses methods other than violence when violence is clearly the faster option, god they're such pacifists

Tim: *trying carefully to pick a lock* Cass: Just break through the wall? Tim: We can’t do that. We’re trying not to be noticed. Cass: Wimp

Bruce: Cass, why did you have to dislocate that man’s shoulder? Cass: I put it back. Bruce: That’s not the point. Cass: Fine, I’ll dislocate it again.

Is the best fighter, none of this “oh she’s the best fighter so when people do win against her, it makes them look cooler” thing, shut tf up, she could break their bones (not important to the show ofc but I need to add this because it is important in general)

Horrible at drawing, wretched (again a headcanon but I did see someone else mention it somewhere)

Also bad at writing, refuses to study to improve out of principle (i.e. she told Babs she doesn’t need to and now she refuses to admit Babs was right)

(AND SIDE-HEADCANON IF SHE IS HORRIBLE AT WRITING AND ACTIVELY HATED STUDYING HER ALPHABET THEN WHAT IF LIKE ONE DAY SOMEONE SAYS “hey can you grab me one of these files from last week’s case, it’s under M” SHE’S LIKE “fuck you, how could you do this to me” WHILE SEARCHING FOR M OR MORE SIMPLY *throws something at them*)

That's all I have right now. If you'd like to give me any recommendations, please do. I can't promise I'll add in every single one because this show is still about the whole Batfam, not just her, but I want to do her justice, and that definitely involves more fine-tuning on my part

OKAY THAT'S ALL LOVE YOU BYE

[akiology]

Phantom Thieves who has a favorite gacha character (it's you)

Summary: What if you were a character in a gacha game that the Phantom Thieves are currently raving about? Note: Got this idea since I am getting back into gacha games after a month-long hiatus from them. I was like... what if its THEM spending their time on thinking about a fictional character... Also this includes Sumire!

Futaba has been hearing about the talks of a new gacha game, and realized it had a fun multiplayer aspect to it. The game didn't demand much time in their daily quests, and can be played casually. She sent an invite to the Phantom Thieves, since there's a reward if a friend starts playing the game.

Akiren

He decided to check out the game after a busy day. He did not feel like doing anything productive, and thus proceeded to click download. He went through the introduction and through the list of characters available in-game. He landed on your page, and found you really adorable and interesting.

It was currently your banner, so he decided to try his luck on pulling for you. Unfortunately, he is very unlucky but he proceeded to grind through the game's content to get you. He got you at hard pity, and proceeded to spoil you with the best gears he could get his hands on. He really likes the story and finds the other characters interesting. However, he is at full focus when you are on the screen and only uses you during combat.

If you have a favorite food/signature dish, he would most likely try to recreate it. Futaba and Mona (if its safe for them) are his taste testers. He also has a figurine of you placed on the shelf with the rest of the souvenirs he got from his friends.

Ryuji

Sadly, he also wanted to send out invites for pulls but was bested by Futaba. He actually heard of the game before, and he already had a favorite character: you. Before the game was released, he was closely following updates, teasers, and trailers. He probably found you very cool either because of your role in the story or your move set/skills.

If your character is not a healer/shielder, he will almost always play you with one of those. Makes sure you are well-protected, and if you are near fainting, he will exit the area right away. Also, his plans to acquire new characters revolves around you now. When a new character comes out, he will be thinking if said character could benefit you somehow.

Most definitely has posters of you in his bedroom, and a keychain of you in his phone. If ever there's a plushie/gachapon of you near the arcade he hangs out at, best believe he will be there!

Ann

A bit of a gamer herself, she was actually familiar with the game and only got around to downloading it when Futaba sent the invite. As she goes around and explore the world, she met your character. Either you remind her of one of the heroines she admired, or she finds your strength inspiring, (maybe even both!) you quickly became one of her favorites. She really loves your story and always pays attention when you are in the spotlight!

Ann's luck is... alright. She's not blessed like Yusuke, but not so unlucky like Akira. Even so, she managed to get you and your weapon pretty quickly! Since the game is not that challenging, no matter what your role is, she will bring you with her in the journey. Even if the team had no synergy whatsoever.

She likes thinking up of clothes/accessories inspired by you. She incorporates some of this in her daily life. Like maybe you have a unique headpiece, then maybe she will find an equivalent and start wearing it daily.

Yusuke

He got dragged into it, and decided to give it a chance. He greatly appreciates the game design, and environmental feel. As he meets all sorts of characters, he gets inspirations for each and every one. When he meets you, however, he admired your design for a moment before continuing. He really likes your overall aesthetic, and he can either relate to your experiences/or find you fascinating.

When he pulls for you, it was pure luck because he got both you and your weapon in one 10 pull. Futaba was jealous, Ryuji was stunned, Ann wished it was her, and Haru congratulated him. "This is not normal?" He asked, and it got mixed reactions from the crowd.

He rarely picks up the game, but when he does he always makes sure to set you as the character to greet him. He sometimes find inspiration/ideas after playing, and you have been the subject in a few art pieces of his. He realizes that whenever he is stuck in an impasse, sketching you or playing the game helps him get back on track. He also liked seeing fanart of you that were made by other fans.

Makoto

Also got dragged into it, and decided to check it out for Futaba. Might ask for help for the terminologies used in game, and the group chat gladly supplies information. She liked the storytelling of the game, and then she met your character. You quickly became a favorite because you were admirable.

In terms of merch collection, she goes for the ones that are useful like her Buchimaru-kun pencil case. If you have merch like a coffee mug or binder, she will go for that instead of a huge plushie or poster. She cherishes it just like she does with Buchimaru-kun.

Even if she does not drop the game because of her responsibilities, she still rarely plays it. Despite that, she might login if you have an event or role in the current story. Keyword is might.

Futaba

Truthfully, she only sent the invites out to get more of the currency used for pulling. While she already had you, she wanted to get more copies to make you stronger, or wanted to pull for a weapon that will greatly benefit you. Although, before that she made multiple accounts just so she can get you on the first ten pulls. It was quite an arduous progress.

She is very active in the fandom, and is probably a well-known figure within various social media. Most definitely runs an account dedicated to you, and also posts various headcanon/character interpretations of yours. She also gives the best advice on how to gear you up, and could be good with advising on how to build others when asked.

She has a lot of your merchandise, and is one the reasons she sometimes goes out. If you have a favorite food/signature dish, she might ask Sojiro or Joker to have it made for her. She also tends to talk about you a lot, either with Sumire or Joker. They start liking you through osmosis as well.

Haru

She was already playing the game when Futaba sent the invite. You were her favorite character because of your view on justice and/or you feel like someone she would get along with! She is cheering for you when you fight, her heart aches when you're sad, and she smiles when you triumph!

Safe to say that you are already maxed leveled, and fully built with the best gears. She also has quite the collection when it comes to your merchandise. She is a lurker in the fandom, she likes leaving likes or a few short comments on certain fan arts of you. Sometimes when she feels sad or feels like she needs that extra push, she will login the game quickly just to hear your encouragements.

Even when she's no longer as interested on the game as she was before, she still logins every once in a while just to see you. It was as if she was checking in on a friend; you hold a very special place in her heart.

Goro

Futaba accidentally sent him an invite, but he decided to check the contents anyways. He was mindlessly exploring the game's mechanics and storyline when you caught his eyes. Your character probably had a compelling philosophy, or your outfit/moves reminded him of Featherman.

He doesn't have time to grind through the content, so he probably spent money to obtain your character and all the gears you need. You are severely overpowered compared to his other characters. He does not have the time every day to login, but usually when he does it's mainly to listen to you. He really likes hearing your voice.

Outside of the game, he collects your merchandise diligently and displays them next to his Featherman figures. He also has some of your more 'discreet' merchandise on him at all times. He has a coffee mug with your symbol on it, and/or a keychain of an iconic part of your outfit connected to his phone.

Sumire

Futaba finally convinced her to play, so she decided to check it out! She heard a lot about your character through Futaba, so you were the one she was most interested in. When she finally sees you in-game, she was smiling. You became a favorite because of your kind nature, and/or your talents are similar to hers.

She plays the game casually, so when she finally got you, she does not bother getting the limited gears. She just enjoys exploring the world with you, and sometimes with Futaba and Joker.

It is unclear whether she continues playing the game, but she likes hearing updates about your character development, and your overall progression through the story from Futaba. She is cheering you on, from a far!