#diary of a breakup

[dailydiarynquotes]

[prosebyday]

This time of year is like a hall of mirrors, a haunting time of reflection.  I can’t look away from my past, everywhere I turn it stares me in the face, reminding me of where I was last year, 2 years ago, 3, 4, 5 – all the possible futures I envisioned and watched crumble. Oh, how things change. I am unrecognizable. 

Hall of Mirrors // Grazia Curcuru

[notthatdom]

Maybe I'm not the best, but at least I never broke someone's heart just for temporary fun

[mercurialramblings]

And here I am, thinking of the future with someone else by my side. Imagining a love that is understood and reciprocated. I held on so tightly and let go all at once. Forgive me, one day, for what could never be.

[griefshand]

i want to go home

[godsentfailure]

Safe in the knowledge on why would I even wish you hell?

You're already the devil himself.

- Yvonne

[ghohl]

As a woman with intellectual passions, instead of being subjected to men's opinions on my "credentials," it's so much better to completely blow them off. Not take intellectual men's judgement seriously at all. Woe to me when I was younger and tried to impress men who had ideas in the their adulthood that I had when I was like 7. Men don't take intelligent women seriously. It's laughable because most of the "profound questions" come after a breakup, anyways. You will never know what it was like to be a young girl and have fundamental questions about the world around you.

[coffeexxcigarettes]

Just Hit Me.

-

I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted.

There, I said it.

Like a car turning over,

Never able to be started-

I broke my bones into better shapes,

Swallowed the blood that others drew from you-

I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted.

Like I was shoved to front of the line,

Barely a person yet-

And the pieces of me that I did have,

I presented eagerly.

Excited to be loved,

But I've never seen you quite so revolted,

I lost everything to empathy.

I did it with a smile.

Because if not me, then who, right?

Then who, right?

I'm sorry I couldn't be what you wanted.

I was provided no instruction manual,

And I couldn't help but let who I really am

Spill at your feet.

"I'm sorry." I'd say, like a fool,

Cleaning myself up as if I was the sickness.

"Do better." You'd say, with a sad smile,

Your eyes empty-

I'm sorry I can't be what you want.

x

[dailydiarynquotes]

[libatterysucker]

I've never experienced grief before

Never thought much about it

About never seeing someone again

How they disappear through time

Slowly learning how to live without them

And how you don't even think about being mad with them

All you have are those nice memories that play over and over at the theater inside of your brain

Funny how grief and breakups have the same stages

denial, when I didn't believe you would break up with me

anger, when all I did was worshiping you in every way

bargaining, when I remembered all the great things we did together

depression, when I realized I'll have to live without you

acceptance, when I recognized I deserved better, even if you were good to me in certain ways

Now I know I'm grieving for you

And you aren't even dead

[poemsbykorrin]

i hope the stars are kind to you

i won’t ask you to come back not anymore i’ve folded that wish into the quiet part of me the one that still tucks your name into prayers i never say aloud

if i pass you in another life may the wind not howl between us may your eyes not flinch when they find mine let them soften, just for a moment as if they remember the girl who waited

i loved you without needing to hold you without naming the ache you left, and i stayed long enough to become a ghost in my own arms

this letter is not a lock it’s a lantern i’m setting it afloat on the water between us one last small light before i turn away

wherever you are now i hope the stars are kind to you i hope someone holds you like i would have

i’m not angry just bruised where you once bloomed

still you were the poem i never needed to write down because i memorized you even as you disappeared

-korrin

[notthatdom]

Pretending like I don't miss you, while You pretending like you don't fuckin care.

But in reality, we both couldn't stop thinking about each other.

[squirrel-in-the-woods]

things no one taught you

nobody tells you how to let go of a friend the pain of a lover is deep but this pain how do you form the words to say goodbye to something that never leaves

yesterday we sat together now even a call is a dream why did you change your number why did i leave that day without a goodbye when did you change why did we change

it withers away like leaves from the tree the tree knows the leaf knows i know you know the ground was our witness when you said your mom called did she really when you said i'm sorry i forgot your birthday did you really your favorite drink was a latte when did it become strawberry when did you change when did we change

i thought we were the same like two waves in the ocean like two dice in a set turns we were the same we were sand but i was forged as the glass that held you and you dripped down like you were meant to grain by grain

time goes by the moment forever lost i wish i could say right person wrong time and put a name to this feeling this pain this hole in my heart that was once littered with photos of you and the sound of your laugh and the relics of our friendship and everything you ever said pasted on the walls of my heart so i could never erase your very existence in my life but it has passed now it is nothing now it was everything then

we should talk more im sorry it's been so long we met can we do this again i have to go don't leave let's meet up again can we fix this at all

i will see you next time i miss you

[xxdreamscapes]

Are you sad or were u listening to The Scientist (Glee Cast Version) one too many times?

[godsentfailure]

From Love Letters to Elegies

It's been months, my body is still not over him I don't want to care that it's been months, I'm still not over him It's been months, not years. I don't want to care that society is now supposed to be fast-paced To the point that you can replace a two-year relationship with possibly a mere few weeks. It's ego-shattering, soul-crushing That everyone seems to just accept it—except me. Are you all really human as you claim? Faithful as you all present yourselves? As you all seem to not have the capacity to fathom matrimony. It's ironic to think that I'm supposed to be the heartless one The inhuman, the alien, the cold abyss, the unemotional Yet, you're the first one to treat emotions, memories, people, as disposable. Too disposable to easily give it all away To a person you once claimed you will never fall for To a person you now mirror a heart with. Maybe I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve At least that's what makes it authentic That I don't give my emotions with open palms As you always conveniently grab it in your sleeves every time. He pierced through my heart The chamber of my soul He made a dent there, probably permanent I fear it'll haunt all of my weddings. But, hey, its my healing, my own process to go through. I get the final say when it's finally healed. Because for now, the pain remains a scar, not yet a callus. Not quite removed, nevertheless, healing. And maybe that's enough proof That I did devote myself to you back then, And who knows? Maybe forever.

- Yvonne

[luvbecca222]