#depersonalization

[vixensofdeath]

I disassociate the whole day then wonder why I don’t remember anything

[cosmicconstruct]

I promise I'm really smart it's just all my best thoughts get lost in The Fog

[gabapentinblues]

feel like i barely exist at all

[asoftepiloguemylove]

DO I EXIST?

Jody Chan aubade for the BPD subreddit user who wrote can people with BPD love? // 鉄男 Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989) dir. Shinya Tsukamoto // The Mountain Goats Birth of Serpents // Dorothea Lasky Love Poems for Bathsheba // Zen Cho The Four Generations of Chang E // atlas a conversation about identity // Silent Hill 3 (2003) cr. Konami // Richard Siken You Are Jeff // unknown // Roe Gardner Requiem // Teki Yatsuda Sleeping on Paper Boats // Jane Mead World of Made and Unmade

[thefluxsystem]

You know what the worst part of having a dissociative disorder is, for me personally?

The emotional amnesia.

Your entire life feels like something that you watched on TV, rather than something that you actually lived through.

You know that some of the most horrific things imaginable have happened to you, and you feel nothing about it. Sure, the memories disgust you on principle, but you don’t feel anything.

It makes you question if anything that you remember is real. If that actually happened, shouldn’t it feel significant? Shouldn’t you be sad, angry, hurt, something?

And to top it all off, nobody understands. Not even yourself.

[junabuggy]

[nofuckingideawho]

whether I'm real or not is still up for debate

[izzypaw]

guh

[funeral]

I was disappearing, evaporating, slipping away. A dreadful sensation, like being ripped from the realm of the living, but in slow motion. As though my soul was leaking through the pores of my skin. I began wandering the streets all through the night, searching for a sign. Some proof of life. Around me, the city, misty and otherworldly, was taking on the sepia hues of an old film. If I raised my eyes, the railings of the public garden in front of which I was standing seemed to be moving on their own, turning like a magic lantern, three or four images a second, like eyelids blinking, slowly and regularly. Something inside me was still in revolt. I wanted to scream: Is anybody there?

Vanessa Springora, Consent

[iloveyoumoth]

oh my god

[ladycatashtrophe]

"Wow, you're so self-aware! It takes most people years of therapy and dedication to get to that point." Thanks, I constantly feel completely disconnected from my physical being and the material sensation of my body, brain, and spirit/soul is so overwhelming that I often have to see myself as an objective third-party instead of an integrated entity. Father son holy spirit and all that.

[bl0w-m3]

[savemefrommymindpls]

[ari-orangebox-collection]

So funny, the way I was before

Once I was blind but now I see

Once I was him and now he’s me.

[vixensofdeath]

the urge to die and become nothing becomes stronger every day