#general OCD thoughts

[cellophobia]

hi everyone i am losing my mind but im being really strong and toughies about it.........

[bunnieswithknives]

I need more awful nb icons in the world

[nagichi-boop]

I know that this scene is about Shadow grappling with the fact he has alien DNA, but I feel like his thoughts in this scene are relatable to people with conditions like autism, BPD and NPD (not an exhaustive list) who struggle with feeling and being treated like an outcast or monster at times. For some, it’s because we struggle to operate in a world not designed for us. For others, it’s fighting against all the negative perceptions society has of us.

Shadow sees himself as a monster. But Maria assures him that just because he expresses himself differently, that doesn’t make him evil. I feel like especially for people who struggle with empathy, this really hits home. People often assume that people who struggle with empathy, whether cognitive or emotional, are heartless. And for those with personality disorders, they’re often treated as if they are abusive or manipulative just because of the disorder they have, even though people with said disorders are victims of trauma and abuse themselves.

I hope you all have a Maria in your lives. And if not, please remember that it’s your actions that define you, not your neurotype or disorder. If you struggle with socialising, or emotional regulation, or empathy, you’re not a monster. You’re strong for living in a world that so often seems to outcast and insult you. You’re strong for choosing to be as kind as you can be, even though so many people refuse to show that common courtesy in return. Even when you can’t be strong, you are not a monster.

Please be kind to yourselves. You deserve it.

[firestorm09890]

OCD I feel is a good demonstration of how the fine line between “sane” and “not” isn’t even a line at all, it’s more like a big gradient or maybe even a big nebulous sphere we all exist in.

Someone with anxiety (relatively normalized and tbh romanticized these days) might fear crowds because what if they are seen and scrutinized and judged? And maybe some breathing exercises and rationalization might help- maybe the phrase “everyone else is too worried about themself to judge you” might actually do something, if they can truly internalize it. Someone who experiences delusions (very much demonized) might fear crowds because they know that each of their thoughts will be broadcast and everyone else will witness them and mentally converse with each other about it. It WILL happen and nothing can convince them otherwise.

And then OCD (often misinterpreted as being less of a disorder than it really is- see "letting the intrusive thoughts win"- so someone’s condition being worse than everyone expects is generally poorly received) might cause something that can be placed somewhere in the middle- they fear crowds because what if there is a mind reader amongst them? And they tell themself that that’s ridiculous because mind readers don’t exist and if they did we would know by now but what if? And they tell themself that there is an easy way to tell if mind readers exist in the vicinity- if they scream really loud mentally and someone reacts, that means they do exist. If not, it’s probably safe. And therefore periodically they must think a sudden scream, not too often so as to not be predictable, and oops! Now it’s a compulsion attached to the mindreader obsession and they can’t handle going without it. Maybe it gets even more elaborate over time as the strength of the rituals fades, like, oh, one scream is not enough, it must be done three times to really be sure.

Do you know how common it is for those with OCD to have schizophrenia (the idea of it) as an obsession? Surprisingly common- or perhaps, not so surprising, considering the culture surrounding saneism and that perceived harsh line that divides the “normal” people from the ones with psychosis. Everyone thinks it could never be them, because they are two entirely different categories of people, right? For OCD, someone might latch onto an obsession they know is ridiculous except they can’t get themselves to stop taking it deathly seriously and so they wonder, am I slipping? Are these really thoughts a sane person could have? And so they remind themself that people with psychosis do not regard their delusions in the same way they are regarding their own obsession, and so, no, they can’t be slipping. And thus frequent personal reality checks become the compulsion. Idk what the point of this post really is, maybe it's just that instead of a checkbox you either check or don't, sanity is more like a color picker thing

[soratonin]

isagi being #1 at adaptability and the way he handles everyone with their crazy and brattiness in and out of the field in canon just shows he's the #1 best bf for a high maintenance partner

[simplydeelightful]

and out of the sudden, i understood cain and his rage and sorrow, because they became mine.

[pankomako]

intrusive thoughts are no joke. you wouldn't want them to win.

source: i might have OCD, and this is a real intrusive thought i get sometimes.

[wackywatchdotcom]

woke up like 40 mins ago at like 4:30 unable to fall back alseep so im once again thinking about ragatha and pomni as The Ocd Havers. its everything to me. oh whoops i ran out of tags on this post

[neonhellscape]

new rt everyone shes a freak whos pretty sure shes been been given the role of rogue trader as an act of divine intervention to eventually replace the godemperor and bring new glory to the imperium which she thinks is dull and stagnant. dont worry about why she keeps marazhai caged in her trophy room like he's bait its not important and completely irrelevant to the fact ive joke nicknamed her simon thresh. has anyone noticed a lot of slaaneshi demons during warp jumps lately

[lyxchen]

Filmed like 5 minutes of me picking at the skin around my nails for something I want to draw. Sang-woo will be going Through it, let me tell you

[turtlesystem]

one thing that I would like to bring up is how different alters can rack up diagnoses/symptoms bc they have their own way of processing things . ngl how do we rack up so many diagnoses/symptoms depending on the alter..

making us think bc we recently got flagged for OCD (okay that one’s not a surprise and it affects a lot of us despite us having symptom holders) but woW .

some system members might have other stuff going on but generally we go by what the host tends to struggle with . that also makes the process of figuring out what’s going on hard for both providers and ourselves bc a big part of diagnosis involves how constant symptoms are, and depending on the alter, the answer differs !! but at the same time to some degree the disorder affects everyone — whether the alter developed to combat the negative symptoms of the disorder or stores the symptom themselves

a lot of swinging back and forth oagh.. so anyone who feels like they’re out of control for whatever reason, system or not, we have a lot to process and u are not alone <3 in the sense that ur problems are a real thing that ppl go thru and the struggle is valid

- YJ, the host trying his best :,)

[doctorjackdaw]

You probably don’t wanna hear it but I relate so heavily to your vent post right now

Had to break things off with a friend cause they turned out to be a weirdo and all of a sudden, they are this big socialite and reblog like crazy — despite that not being them during our entire friendship or who they were prior to that ( according to their own words )

I’m really begging the question if I was deadweight to them or something

Even though they hella lovebombed me before and swore I was so special to them

no anon, i Do want to hear it! because that sounds PRETTY FAMILIAR lol. i’m so sorry you went through that - love bombing is huge, people are nervous to mention how badly it affects them but it’s really damaging. it pushed me further in the direction of aromanticism when i was already fairly inclined.

but, a little advice: if that person seems better off without you, remember first that you’re far better off without them. all of the ways they hurt and broke you followed them to the rest of the people they surround themself with, and that doesn’t include you anymore. you grew, you can only hope they’ll do the same, but if they don’t? they’ll keep being an asshole far away from you; it’s for the better.

stay frosty.

[quoigenicfromhell]

Brief aside, I really need people to stop telling random strangers online they have terrible trauma they don't remember, because some of us have intrusive thoughts that will take that statement and make their brain a horrible hell dimension for a while. :)

[hex-is-vexxed]

Wish there was a hotline for ppl that aren’t actually in danger of hurting or killing themselves but are still suicidal,

Like I’m not going to do it, I have a lot to live for, and I’m not gonna hurt myself either

But!! I am in crisis!!! It is a constant thought- always in the back of my mind and lately it’s been getting louder. It is exhausting and scary and I don’t know what to do

idk if this is too dark for my blog like ik it’s outta left field but just,,,, Uhg… idk

if anyone has any resources that isn’t just a suicide hotline I’d really appreciate it

Or just if anyone else feels the same, I feel like I’m making this all up

[centeringme]

Hey uhh… tw death I guess

For like the past few days (and technically longer… but it’s become noticeably bad… and it’s still getting worse) I have felt death encroaching. Not like a quick ‘I’m in so much pain I feel like I’m dying’ but like I can feel it creeping up? And I’ve been having digestive issues and stuff (I finally got in with my gastroenterologist… it’s probably either IBS or Celiac) so maybe it’s just that it’s been hard to eat/drink lately? Or I’m sick? It’s just that every time I slow down, I start to feel it coming my and it’s really starting to scare me. My whole body hurts, and I’m struggling to sleep, and I’m genuinely worried about it??

I’m gonna talk to my therapist in like a day or two, and I won’t do anything goofy, cause I know that it’s concerning… but I’m hoping someone has advice

Hopefully it’s just a depressive episode or something?

[emometalhead]

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