#im arospec and asexual so…

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

kissing girls is an olympic sport and by god am i coming in last fucking place

[thetisming]

the aspec experience of going 'but am i actually aspec?' and then seeing an allo and being like 'oh. okay. yeah i am. what the fuck'

[nocturnal-cryptid]

Anyone ever see people in relationships and think "Thank fuck I'm aroace"

[takemetodragonstone]

as a kid I used to daydream about moving in together with a best friend and promising to never leave each other, growing old together, and holding each other’s hand through life. I didn’t understand why that level of commitment seemed to be reserved for romantic relationships, and I would get really upset thinking about how no friend would ever want to commit to me like that and they would eventually leave me for a romantic partner. anyway I just found out about this thing called queer platonic relationships—

[aroacewolfic]

I hate it when people's first reaction to me saying I'm aroace is "oh but don't you wanna have a partner and kids in the future, won't you be sad without that" Like no bitch I'm gonna be happy living alone in the peace and quiet with my cats and dogs and 1000 books to keep me company and I'm gonna be just as happy and complete as every other person out there if not happier.

[allastoredeer]

Hello, don't mind me, I just need to vent for a second.

First off, I just wanna say, as an aroace person on the ace-spectrum, feel free to ship Alastor all you want. Ship him with anyone. Have fun with it. Sex repulsed. Non-sex repulsed. Grey-ace. Demisexual. Pure unadulterated smut. Whatever, have at it. I love that shit.

Just please do it without infantilizing ace-aro people.

The amount of art, fics, and takes I've come across that's so patronizing to Alastor and his sexuality. Thing's like Alastor venting to Rosie about his feelings for a character with the caption "Alastor feeling love for the first time." Or Alastor wanting to have sex with a character and having feelings about that, and someone commenting "That's called a boner, sweetheart. That means you like them 🤭"

Like??? Like do ya'll not see how patronizing that sounds? Being ace-aro doesn't mean you don't know your own body. It doesn't mean you don't understand the functions of your body.

It doesn't mean you've never experienced intense emotions. It doesn't mean you've never experienced love before.

And, look, I know these are meant to be jokes. I know. People are joking. I laughed at the first few I came across, too. It's not meant to be harmful or condescending; no one means it that way. But there's been so much with such...bad takes recently, and I don't know about any other ace-spec people (I don't speak for all ace-specs. Hell, there are probably other ace-spec's who don't mind, enjoy it, or are making content like it themselves. I just speak for myself) but GOD it's getting uncomfortable.

Alastor is in his late 30's-early 40's in human years. That is the established age range we have for him. Do you really think that he'd go that long without ever experiencing "love?" He went through puberty just like everyone else, do you think he doesn't understand his own body???

Being asexual, or sex-repulsed, or touch-repulsed doesn't mean you automatically don't explore these parts of yourself. It doesn't mean he's never, once in his life, touched his own dick, or pussy, or whatever genitalia you're giving him. He can still very well be a "virgin" (which in and of itself is a social construct) while also knowing his body and confidently handling any "sexual needs" he has.

Do you really think he doesn't know what a boner is? That in all the years he's been alive and dead (on Earth and in Hell), he wouldn't have experienced these things once? (And you know what? Maybe he hasn't! Perhaps there are ace's out there like that! But you're telling me he doesn't KNOW what that is??? Really???)

Ah, no, it's all because he just hasn't found the right person yet, right? It's not until Lucifer/Angel Dust/Vox, whoever found him, and they gave him these feelings, and oh no, poor Bambi is feeling twitterpated and horny for the first time, isn't that romantic!

Honestly, not really. It just sounds like the same, stupid shit ace-aro people hear from family, friends, and acquaintances about their sexuality. You know, the tried and true: "Oh, you just haven't found the right person yet. You'll want all that eventually, you'll see😊"

Do you not see how frustrating that is?

Look, I am all down for Alastor exploring parts of himself. I want him to navigate different relationships, feel them out, figure out what kind of relationship he wants and what he's okay and not okay with doing. But there are ways to do that without treating him like a little UwU silly baby boy who doesn't know his own body, or his own emotions, or his own relationships with other characters. Like he needs someone to teach him about himself.

How about instead, he finds someone he feels comfortable exploring these elements with? Instead of them "teaching" him how to fuck, or masturbate, or whatever the hell you want to call it, they're giving him the room and safe-space to explore it at his own pace??!!

It comes across as someone who isn't on the ace-spectrum "teaching" an ace-spec character about their own sexuality which puts such a gross taste in my mouth. Or, at least, that's how it comes across to me.

And the thing is, I know people aren't going to stop. I know they're going to keep infantilizing Alastor and his aro-ace identity, and I wasn't originally going to make this post, because you can't control what people do in fandom.

So this is mostly just a post to say: HEY! Hello! Ace-aro person here! I hope you all are having fun and I love that you're exploring Alastor's asexual/aromantic identity! Especially those who may not be in the ace-spectrum themselves, as you're learning about us and our experiences! That's awesome! Can we just do that while also treating Alastor like the adult he is? Can we do that without being infantilizing and patronizing about his sexual identity? Please?"

That's all I really wanted to say. I just needed to get this off my chest instead of letting it fester. This isn't an attack on anyone, this is just the perspective of an Alastor multi-shipper who loves exploring his relationships with other characters (sexually and non-sexually) and deep-diving into the dynamics of the show.

Thanks for reading.

[subparcarrion]

the aroace rage is real. I can feel it in my fucking bones.

I dont even know what to say,, I wanna punt all those weird love songs to the moon and then down so much iced tea I implode on the spot.

[arromantica-lucha]

the fact that my friend discovered she was demisexual and aromantic because she met me and i explained what those were is why its so important that aspec identities get talked about in the real world and not just online cause a lot of people just wont ever be in these spaces

[7amonathursdayinoctober]

Thanks to 1am convos with pookie I have discovered that I am in fact, an asexual demiromantic 👍

[honeypine-the-parrot]

This might be very acespec of me to say, but there is no fucking way sex is better than pasta.

Ravioli? Spaghetti? Fettuccini? Tortellini?

With a four-cheese sauce? Sautéd mushrooms? Garlic and parmesan cheese? Tomato and basil? Warm fucking buttery pasta in a bowl, and a glass of something cold to drink??

You want me to believe that SEX is better than PASTA?? I don't think so.

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

“who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?” i whisper to myself, knowing full well that anytime someone comes remotely near my kitchen i scramble and hide in the fucking dishwasher

[cosmicredcadet]

Do not reply to my repulsed posts with "as long as you're not shaming ppl" "just don't be sex/romance negative" like shut up shut up you're missing the point! You aren't being supportive by putting down qualifiers for what makes a repulsed person's identity acceptable to you!! Idc if you have good intentions, your words are hurting repulsed people and honestly there's a billion " positivity" posts out there saying the exact shit you are and I'm sick of it!!! I'm just blocking you if you respond to my posts like that!!! Shut up repulsed people don't need to conform to your idea of a "good repulsed person" we deserve to have a voice as much as anyone else! so shut up and listen for once!!!

[xx-vamp1r3-k1ss3s-xx]

I think I might be aroflux

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

More aroace book recs

Comes out April 16

Sophie and Jo, two aromantic and asexual students at Wellesley College, engage in an online feud while unknowingly becoming friends in real life, in this dual POV Young Adult contemporary debut from Ann Zhao. Sophie Chi is in her first year at Wellesley College (despite her parents' wishes that she attend a "real" university, rather than a liberal arts school) and has long accepted her aromantic and asexual identities. Despite knowing she'll never fall in love, she enjoys running an Instagram account that offers relationship advice to students at Wellesley. No one except her roommate knows that she's behind the incredibly popular "Dear Wendy" account. When Joanna "Jo" Ephron —also a first-year student at Wellesley— created their "Sincerely Wanda" account, it wasn't at all meant to be serious or take off like it does—not like Dear Wendy's. But now they might have a rivalry of sorts with Dear Wendy? Oops. As if Jo's not busy enough having existential crises over gender, the fact that she'll never truly be loved or be enough, or her few friends finding The One and forgetting her! While tensions are rising online, Sophie and Jo are getting closer in real life, bonding over their shared aroace identities. As their friendship develops and they work together to start a campus organization for other a-spec students, can their growing bond survive if they learn just who's behind the Wendy and Wanda accounts? With its exploration of a-spec identities, college life, and more, this platonic comedy, perfect for fans of Netflix's The Half of It and Alice Oseman's Loveless, is ultimately a love story about two people who are not—and will not—be in love!

[valvesoftware]

sighs deeply

[feelingthedisaster]

where are all my people (closeted aroace girls whose parents think they are a lesbian bc they lack interest in men)?