#incorrect Derek Morgan

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

[emilyshotchrocket]

Emily: I am a god.

Hotch: She yelled "Shut up" at the thunderstorm and it happened to dissipate. It was purely coincidental. You have no power

Emily: stfu. I am a god.

Morgan: All hail the new Thor!

Hotch: Don't fucking encourage this??

[omnigraphsblog]

Rossi, walking into his mansion: Hello, people who do not live here.

Emily: Hey.

Hotch: Hi.

Spencer: Hello.

Derek: Hey!

Rossi: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Emily: We were out of Doritos.

[patrickispinky]

Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

[spenc3-reid]

Pt 1

[lilliejareau]

“we listen and we don’t judge.”

penelope: one time reid gave me a tiny potted plant but it turns out it was actually plastic and he didn’t know so i pretended to water it for three years.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

JJ: sometimes when Henry wakes me up by jumping on my back, I feel like throwing him across the room for a split second.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

emily: one time when I was mad at Morgan for not sticking up for me during a case, I dipped his travel toothbrush in the toilet and didn’t rinse it off after and he used it about an hour later.

morgan: bitch what?!?

emily: we listen and we don’t judge!

[criminal-mindsincorrect]

Morgan : What do you call a dictionary on drugs ?

Hotch : If you say "addict-ionary" I will fire you.

Morgan : I was going to say "high definition" but yours better-

Emily, coming from nowhere : A Spencer Reid.

Hotch : EMILY PRENTISS-

[annmaximoff18]

Spencer: did you know that pigs

Derek: no reid, no one wants to hear about pigs

Spencer: .....

Y/N: the pigs what?

Spencer: What?

Y/N: about the pigs, I want to listen to you

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

UNKNOWN NUMBER: We have your child.

HOTCH: Which one? Emily? Spencer? Derek? What are your demands?

UNKNOWN NUMBER: No, Jack. It’s the daycare. We’re closing soon. Please come get your son.

[whoisspence]

kidnapper: i have your child

hotch: which one i have five

kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up

hotch:

hotch: which one i have five

[emilyshotchrocket]

Hotch, on a team night out: I need to get something off my chest.

Emily: is it your shirt? Please do.

Garcia: I humbly second that statement.

Morgan: please don’t.

Rossi: I'm so close to going into my second retirement, I don’t know why I agreed to come out with you people.

[scarlettjemily]

The bau doing the trauma candy salad trend

JJ: hi i’m jj and i was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Emily: hi i’m emily and i was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Spencer: hi i’m spencer and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Hotch: hi i’m aaron and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Morgan: hi i’m derek and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Rossi: hi i’m david and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Garcia: hi i’m penelope and I was kidnapped and tortured and i brought m&ms

Tara: … what the fuck

[ineedreid]

The BAU at the Zoo:

Hotch: *Reading a map* If we just follow-

Emily: *Already climbing into the penguin exhibit*

Garcia: *Feeding an animal she 100% was not supposed to feed*

Reid: *Accidentally leading a group tour because he started talking*

Morgan: *Being stalked by a very aggressive goose*

Rossi: *Bribing a zookeeper to let him pet a tiger*

Hotch: WHERE DID YOU ALL GO?

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

The Golden trio at work driving Hotch & Rossi mad.

[spencestiel-michelle]

Derek: wanna see some nice guns?

Emily: we all have guns, derek. it comes with the badge. 

Derek: not those guns… these.

Derek, flexing his right bicep: mr. powerful.

Derek, flexing his left bicep: and mr. awesome. 

*Emily hands Derek her gun*

Derek: what’s this for?

Emily: shoot me. i can never unsee that.