#incorrect aaron hotchner

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

[emilyshotchrocket]

Hotch: What are you doing in the kitchen at three Am?

Emily: I was gonna light this chicken on fire and see if it turns into one of those Harry Potter Phoenix things.

Hotch:

Hotch: listen, I'm gonna give you the number of my therapist, tell her I sent you.

Emily: your therapist quit last week.

Hotch:

Hotch: listen, I'm gonna find us both a new therapist.

[91-1lover]

Derek:You're annoying Reid

Someone:Yeah! Shut up nerd

Derek: Fuck you just said??? 🔪

Emily:🔪

Hotch: 🔪

Garcia: 🔪

JJ:🔪

Rest of the BAU: 🔪🔪🔪

[omnigraphsblog]

Rossi, walking into his mansion: Hello, people who do not live here.

Emily: Hey.

Hotch: Hi.

Spencer: Hello.

Derek: Hey!

Rossi: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Emily: We were out of Doritos.

[onehundredthousandflies]

Gideon, about Reid: I have created the perfect FBI profiler

Hotch: Fucked up a perfectly good child prodigy is what you did. Look at it. It's on drugs

[patrickispinky]

Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

[ineedreid]

Hotch: Why is there a life-sized cardboard cutout of me at my desk?

Garcia: …You were gone and we missed your presence.

Emily: Also, it scares people off when we mess up.

Reid: Statistically, it has decreased workplace incidents by 17%.

Hotch: …I don’t know whether to be flattered or concerned.

[lilliejareau]

“we listen and we don’t judge.”

penelope: one time reid gave me a tiny potted plant but it turns out it was actually plastic and he didn’t know so i pretended to water it for three years.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

JJ: sometimes when Henry wakes me up by jumping on my back, I feel like throwing him across the room for a split second.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

emily: one time when I was mad at Morgan for not sticking up for me during a case, I dipped his travel toothbrush in the toilet and didn’t rinse it off after and he used it about an hour later.

morgan: bitch what?!?

emily: we listen and we don’t judge!

[shinyglimmer-cm]

Hotch: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-

Garcia: It was me...

Hotch: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

[spenc3-reid]

Pt 1

[emilyshotchrocket]

Emily: I am a god.

Hotch: She yelled "Shut up" at the thunderstorm and it happened to dissipate. It was purely coincidental. You have no power

Emily: stfu. I am a god.

Morgan: All hail the new Thor!

Hotch: Don't fucking encourage this??

[criminal-mindsincorrect]

Morgan : What do you call a dictionary on drugs ?

Hotch : If you say "addict-ionary" I will fire you.

Morgan : I was going to say "high definition" but yours better-

Emily, coming from nowhere : A Spencer Reid.

Hotch : EMILY PRENTISS-

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

UNKNOWN NUMBER: We have your child.

HOTCH: Which one? Emily? Spencer? Derek? What are your demands?

UNKNOWN NUMBER: No, Jack. It’s the daycare. We’re closing soon. Please come get your son.

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

The Golden trio at work driving Hotch & Rossi mad.

[whoisspence]

kidnapper: i have your child

hotch: which one i have five

kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up

hotch:

hotch: which one i have five