#its a problem with everyone else

[opossums-in-a-trenchcoat]

I’m really glad I found a relationship that works for me but as an aroace person it sometimes makes me feel invalidated cause people see me as allo

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[on-the-clear-blue]

So yall know that the League of Assassin's are like, an eco terrorist thing right? Well I just had this idea.

Sam, coming into Danny's room and just face planting on his bed: Ugh...

Danny, who was sleeping, awoken as his friend who had gone missing 6 moths ago flopped onto of him: OH SWEET-NOCTURN IF THIS ISNT REAL I AM GONING TO SOUP YOY SO HARD...

Sam, reaching up and slapping her hand on his mouth:Shhh, less screaming, more sleeping, escaping murder cults takes more energy than I thought.

Sam produces to pass out and sleep for three days straight.

---

Tucker, lookingnup from his PDA: so...you joined what you thought was a peaceful protest and some how ended up in a eco terrorist death cult of assassins? I mean...shit now I have to do something interesting...

Danny, choking on his drink: Nuh uh, your the normal one Tuck, I died and now have a magical girl transformation and Sam got kidnapped by ninjas and somehow even more bad ass, you...you can still get out of this and just be a normal person.

Sam, nodding sadly: Yeah...don't conform to our standards Tucker, be your true, weak little boney self.

Tucker, sniffing:I am so going to not do that.

---

Just the idea that Sam not only got League training but also got out is hilarious to me, like yeah, that is the kinda bs that would happen.

Alsoni can just see her dropping random lore shit.

Sam, bored as the boys study: Did you know thst the Demon Head dunks himself in corrupted ecto? Yeah it's gnarly man, didn't taste good.

Danny, going to speak before pausing and thinking, before sighing:Yeah I would have licked it too.

Tucker, frowning as he finishes his "Evil invention-enator": You both have so many issues.

---

Sam, trying to teach Danny the basic league hand to hand:Come on dude! It's not that hard!

Danny, falling flat on his ass after not even touching Sam: Ow ow ow...fuck yeah it kinda is!

Sam, rolling her eyes: If not only the Demon Heads six year old grandson can learn but also Ellie? You can too.

Danny, mutterinf under his breath before pausing completely:ELLIE? What was she doing with a murder cult? I thought she learnt her lesson after the last one!

Sam, shrugging before putting kicking at Danny on the floor: I don't know she was following a guy around who was catatonic, said something about being angry at him for not answering her pen pal messages or whatever, I was more busy training to really care...like you should be doing!

---

Years later Sam is joining Danny and Tucker in Gotham, Tucker because he was scouted by both WE and Lexcorp, he wanted to choose the evil company because poorer work place regulations and the likely hood of him getting a powerbost was much higher, but was bullied by his friends/partners into choosing WE.

Sam, coming to the R&D labs late one night bringing Tucker dinner so he doesn't starve working a late shift, blinking as she sees a short boy sneaking out of the lab: Biraeam? (Sprout in Arabic) what are you doing here.

Damian, blinking right back, experimental tech Bruce has yet to clear for the field clutched under one arm and the blueprints for a new type of explosive batarang in the other: Manson...I-I could ask you the same.

Sam, raising an eyebrow and staring down Damian: bringing dinner to my husband...who works here...and I can only think that you do not. So I ask that you put those things you have down and tell your bastard of a grandfather not to step back in this place.

Damian, eyes squinting, he hadn't been around his grandfather for ages at this point but still felt offended at her tone: I don't think I will.

---

An epic fight produces where they both try not and spill/destroy the things that they are carrying until either Tucker or Tim find them and explain everything.

The everlasting Trio gets invited over for dinner (mostly because Bruce is a paranoid bastard and dislikes thst one of his employees is dateing/ is partners with an ex-LoA member) and it's a bit of just pointing at each other and shit

Sam, slamming her hands down on the table as she stands: Kindly Mr Wanye, Shut the fuck up, I know your batman, we all fucking know it so if you are going to try and interrogate us at least do it properly!

Danny, sipping his wine: I mean...I-I didn't know but I um...haven't been paying much attention to the bat dude...Rag man is cooler.

Sam, glaring:And you! Fucking Ragman? You can do so much better.

Danny, offended for his hero: Oi! He does good work!

Bruce, frowning as this night has gotten away from him: He kills people.

Sam, waving over at Bruce: Exactly!

Danny, rolling his eyes: Exactly she says, while having a kill count that's still growing, Exactly she says when she was the one that pushed that oil tycoon off the 50th floor.

Sam wincing,: Maybe not in front of batman babe?

Danny, looking over to Bruce that is looking ready to fight: Shit...imma call Tuck and tell him to start packing...

[drabbles-of-writing]

"Kai's good with kids!" slightly incorrect. Kai is good with stubborn, troublesome kids. Dudes been shown to be dogshit when solely interacting with pretty much all people younger than him except for Nya, Lloyd, & Wyldfyre

He raised Nya, but we know that girl. We've seen her. I know she was a NIGHTMARE kid. She has strong opinions, holds grudges, and does whatever she wants. I love her for this. I also know teenage Kai was fighting for his LIFE. Lloyd was Little Shit Extraordinaire, and he didn't have the bonus of being blood-related to Kai, so Kai had 0 incentive to like him. Even still, Kai heard a small child in distress and immediately Locked In and decided awesome, I'm protecting you forever now. Wyldfyre similarly annoyed the absolute shit out of him, but Kai had his Growth. He still threw hands with Wyldfyre but the difference here is he knew she could fight back. He clocked pretty immediately she had an impatient temper but had a very strong love for her tiny family of 2 (oh hey s1 Kai when'd you get here) and in NO time began flawlessly mentoring.

Kai is like a guy who went to a camp for troubled youths, grew up, then decided to become a counselor at that same camp. He can wrangle a teenage dirtbag out of an alley like a stray cat but if you put him in the same room as a fairly normal kid he's looking at them like this

[maxestie]

Max, smirking: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Charles: AS ENEMIES?!

Max:

[bluegarners]

actually i really love the idea of bruce and dick having inside jokes that they're not really aware are inside jokes for them. like, from lrb, bruce probably does tell a good knock knock joke but it's only good to dick specifically because they both have the necessary and very specific knowledge to understand it. very intellectual jokes that come from the random things they've had to learn over the years, like the specifically very long name of the bacteria that only grows in gotham sewers that they've shortened or something, and bruce just going "knock knock" "who's there?" "margarita" "margarita who?" "thiomargarita magnifica" and dick would just bowl over laughing, and when he later tries to tell that same joke to someone, he can barely get it out he finds it so funny and meanwhile his friends are awkwardly smiling without having a clue as to what it means

[chiangyorange]

dear fellow soldier, we are unified by little things that mean everything. not all is forgiven, but it's a start

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[squid-socks]

"You're not disabled."

What am I then? no like describe it? What term would you use? disadvantaged? less capable? ill? handicapped? limited?

I am limited by an illness that will never leave me and has resulted in permanent damage to my body that will worsen over time.

What would you prefer to use if the the label "disabled" is too fucking scary. (I dont have emojis on my laptop but here would be an eyeroll).

[proshippers-against-censorship]

i am employed AND proship because I value creativity, fun, and anti-bullying still even though i'm an adult. Being employed doesn't mean you have to be uncaring about anything in this world lol

Hell yeah.

[fairsweetlonging]

just thinking about how binghe had no idea that without-a-cure even had a cure and he spent all his years as a disciple thinking his shizun would at best be disabled for the rest of his life and at worst die a slow and painful death, and it was to save him.

[reason-with-the-underdog]

au where siraj recruited kaveh into his hivemind, except kaveh doesn't know he's in a hivemind

ok so in a series of unfortunate events, kaveh is inducted into siraj's hivemind.

...except he has no idea he's in a hivemind & just thinks he has weirder intrusive thoughts than usual

so the hivemind is suddenly full of:

"the cross-tensile strength of concrete made with fine grit sand + seawater is.." and

"remember to place another order of those beautiful tiles" and

"i can't believe alhaitham wakes up an hour early to drink coffee leisurely before work"

...wait what?

siraj goes from being jubilant over recruiting the light of the kshahrewar into his hivemind(!!!!) to realising very quickly that hivemind thoughts about alhaitham have increased by 250%.

in three days.

basically kaveh accidentally hijacks siraj's hivemind lmao with his 21 revision draft woes and also with the thought of how cute alhaitham is when he hums while doodling

imagine if alhaitham goes through all the effort of his SQ and then he discovers that the hivemind is already in shambles bc there's a civil war waging between two camps:

"alhaitham is the worst" and

"alhaitham is misunderstood"

(kaveh is leader of them both btw)

kaveh has no idea he's part of the hivemind (and has been considering hivemind thoughts to be intrusive thoughts) so when they get more negative, he's just like "wow brain i know alhaitham's the worst but that's a little extreme... he should be nicer to me though, you're right, brain"

once the truth is revealed, kaveh would be VERY horrified to discover that many many strangers know a bunch about his personal problems

(he got tipsy and went on a passionate rant about how capitalism devalues what it cannot sell to the masses, the hivemind was ENRAPTURED and agreed to form a union immediately...

siraj put a stop to that, absolutely no need for unions in a hivemind!!!)

it turns out that the hivemind has incredible potential for unlocking human brainpower beyond individual capacity, exactly by design ...which also means its easily hijacked by strong emotional appeals for idealistic causes

exactly what kaveh is good at--

except kaveh isn't actually trying to radicalise anyone into becoming activists. he just thinks a lot about how the decline of arts in sumeru is a leading sign of academic society's downfall... also about how there exists disrespectful juniors who always keep score, whatever happened to common decency!

so this means siraj & kaveh having a brain fight broadcast over hivemind like:

siraj: alhaitham is a terrible scribe who will kneecap the akademiya with his close mindedness

kaveh: don't be preposterous, he's actually really good at his job. alhaitham can't stand incompetence, especially in himself

another hivemind member: shut up about alhaitham already

siraj & kaveh: no.

bear in mind that this is the time period where kaveh built mehrak bc he was lonely so when he accidentally joins the hivemind, there are no red flags to him bc hell yeah, he's not lonely anymore, he's got a bunch of random voices in his head now

call that problem solving 😤😤🧠‼️

tighnari is mildly concerned when kaveh stops ranting to him as much about his roommate woes as of late. kaveh says that he's gotten better at talking with the voices in his head about his emotional problems, actually more helpful than you'd think

tighnari: the what now

kaveh: idk remember that one time you said i should see a therapist

tighnari: yeah..?

kaveh: well i looked up how much that costs & oof... anyways some stuff happened and then now its like i have imaginary group therapy sessions

tighnari: now you need that therapist even more tbh

siraj went from congratulating himself for recruiting the light of kshahrewar into the hivemind to experiencing major regret in 0.4 seconds bc it turns out kaveh has unmedicated adhd and now the hivemind is:

20% rug facts

12% fancy angles

28% eco-friendly wood veneer

25% alhaitham thots

15% wine math

recruiting kaveh into the hivemind is the beginning of the end for siraj's plotting bc the hivemind's existence becomes known now that alhaitham suddenly goes from being "who? oh, is that the scribe?" to:

oh my god IM SICK OF HEARING ABOUT HIM

he sounds like a dick tbh

i know way too much about how this guy prefers his coffee, almost like we had lived together??

imagine if kaveh mostly ignored the responses he gets from the hivemind (there's plenty of thoughts going on in his head, no need to pay attention all of em) except for when he needs witty quips to respond to alhaitham with, which the hivemind delivers, pronto

quality of life upgrade right there for kaveh, huge!

imagine having all the computing power of a hivemind at your fingertips... and you use it to come up with clever remarks for your housemate who you absolutely do not think too much about

(the hivemind goes absolutely wild when they learn that alhaitham chuckles at one response)

siraj is coping & seething SO HARD btw this hivemind was supposed to benefit HIM the most!!!! how did this happen. this is all alhaitham's fault, clearly

kaveh: ok random negative thought, not everything is alhaitham's fault. i'm perfectly capable of creating my own problems!!

anyways the hivemind falls apart, for entirely different reasons to canon, but also very much due to alhaitham's existence. kaveh still doesn't know who siraj is

[jellynotbees]

I decided to give lamb a nickname! I realized for like 95% of the story they won’t be using their actual name (and would react poorly to anyone using it) so I needed Something for Narinder to call them because he’s kinda nosy and wouldn’t believe they had forgotten their name at this point

This will tie into a future comic :)

[gaylizardowner]

Ignore that Ren's been lobotomised the screenshot i cut him out of didn't have the top of his head in

[ispyspookymansion]

sam and damien parallels in s4 (or, moments where mark is having some pretty awful deja vu)

and the bonus, whose stunning obviousness started me on highlighting these parallels:

[c4stlevani4]

out of all the life series players, Cleo, gem, lizzie, and pearl get a disproportionate about of hate. I wonder why. it would be crazy if there was some type of common denominator between them. if only there was a pattern we could see. how silly would that be

[jupiterdolll]

people who stopped liking naruto (the character and show both) due to naruto's focus on sasuke just make me laugh. they think that this somehow diminishes naruto's character, since his dream of becoming hokage is no longer priority.

you can't view naruto as this unchanging entity. yes he's the main character and yes it was ingrained into our brains in the first chapters and arcs that he wants to become hokage. that was his way of saying he wants to be acknowledged and respected. as a child, he seen that the hokage received these things, so naturally that's what set the example. "hokage" was the title of what he desired. but most of all... unbeknownst to him, being understood and loved was his real desire. the actual genuine kind.

the opening arc that sets the tone for the entire story is the land of waves. we immediately get the parallel between haku/zabuza and naruto/sasuke. haku made naruto think more deeply, telling him that beyond acknowledgement and respect there is something so much more valuable. to be understood, loved, and cared for. and within that same arc that is what sasuke shows and gives to naruto. sasuke himself seemingly unaware of his own feelings, his body 'just moved on it's own'.. his instinct made him protect what was precious to him. dreams, future, none of that matters, it dissipates entirely from your mind when you are trying to protect and save what is most precious to you. and for sasuke, that most precious person is naruto.

upon reading/watching this for the first time, the narrative does not let you understand why sasuke came to love naruto this much until later down the line of the story. but right off the bat, kishimoto immediately makes you know that there is something there he feels for naruto so strongly, to the point that it would make a character like sasuke (very goal focused, revenge based, nonchalant about mostly everything else) give up his life for him, disregarding what he shows in the majority of the plot to be his biggest dream: killing itachi.

as the story goes on, again and again naruto witnesses sasuke having these deep emotions for him, for his comrades. love and protection. he learns more about love because of sasuke.. he learns more about his own emotions through sasuke.

sasuke tells naruto that he doesn't understand what losing or having family ties feels like, as naruto never had a family. this is why naruto's desire to be acknowledged and respected at the beginning was more shallow than he had realized. yes, hokage would give you those things, but genuine understanding and love only comes from real connection.

so naruto slowly starts to realize that what actually fulfills him is not becoming hokage, but sasuke. his dream becomes sasuke. sasuke is who understands him, sasuke is who acknowledges him as a person, acknowledges his efforts and courage amongst how lonely he knows naruto feels. naruto now knows that the love and acknowledgment he would get from becoming hokage does not compare to the specific, intimate, personal bond he has with sasuke. he knows that nothing and nobody else can make him feel how sasuke does.

this realization impacts naruto so greatly that he spends the rest of the time chasing sasuke. because sasuke is the first one to open his heart, the first to make him feel comfort upon just being himself. why wouldn't sasuke become his dream? it was destined from the beginning.