#need for approval need for social conformity

[hicapacity]

„Megfelelési kényszer” (angolul: need for approval, need for social conformity, vagy social desirability bias) egy pszichológiai és szociológiai fogalom, amely a személy azon hajlandóságát vagy késztetését írja le, hogy viselkedését, véleményét, vagy akár identitását mások – különösen tekintélyszemélyek, csoportok vagy társadalmi normák – elvárásaihoz igazítsa.

📚 A szakirodalom szempontjából a megfelelési kényszer fő aspektusai:

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1. Pszichológiai alapok

a. Társas elutasítástól való félelem (social rejection sensitivity)

• Az emberek alapvető szükséglete, hogy elfogadják őket (Maslow: szeretet és valahová tartozás szükséglete).

• A megfelelési kényszer gyakran az elutasítástól vagy kritikától való félelemből fakad.

b. Szociális szorongás és önértékelés

• Az alacsony önértékelésű emberek nagyobb valószínűséggel próbálnak másoknak megfelelni.

• A megfelelési kényszer szorosan összefügg az önmonitorozással (Snyder, 1974): egyes emberek folyamatosan figyelik, hogyan hatnak másokra, és ehhez igazítják viselkedésüket.

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2. Klasszikus kísérletek

a. Asch-konformitási kísérlet (1951)

• Résztvevők egyértelműen helytelen választ is adtak, ha a csoport többsége ezt tette.

• Kimutatta: az emberek hajlamosak igazodni a csoporthoz még akkor is, ha az nyilvánvalóan téved.

b. Milgram-kísérlet (1963)

• A tekintélynek való engedelmesség témája, de szorosan kapcsolódik: az emberek hajlandók erkölcsileg kétes dolgokat tenni, ha úgy érzik, “meg kell felelniük” egy hatalomnak.

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3. Társadalmi beágyazottság

a. Normakövetés

• A társadalmi normák belsővé válása gyakran a megfelelési kényszerrel függ össze.

• Durkheim és Parsons szerint a társadalmi kohéziót részben ez tartja fenn.

b. Kollektív kultúrák vs individualista kultúrák

• A kollektív kultúrákban (pl. Japán, Dél-Korea) magasabb a megfelelési kényszer, mert a „harmónia” értéke dominál.

• Individualista kultúrákban (pl. USA, Nyugat-Európa) elvileg kisebb a nyomás, de rejtetten ott is erős (pl. fogyasztói elvárások, közösségi média).

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4. Modern kontextusok

a. Közösségi média és megfelelés

• Instagram, TikTok, Facebook: folyamatos „láthatóság” és visszajelzés nyomása.

• A lájkok és követők száma kvázi társadalmi értékmérő lett.

b. Munkahelyi megfelelési kényszer

• Impression management elméletek (Goffman): a dolgozók gyakran szerepeket játszanak, hogy megfeleljenek a szervezeti kultúrának vagy főnöki elvárásoknak.

• „Kulturális illeszkedés” mint kimondatlan elvárás – gyakran a sokszínűség kárára.

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5. Negatív következmények

• Szorongás, kiégés, depresszió – állandó belső konfliktus önmagunk és az elvárások között.

• Identitásvesztés – ha túl hosszú ideig tartjuk fenn a nem-őszinte önképet.

• Etikai kompromisszumok – ha a megfelelés a morális elvek rovására megy.

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6. Kapcsolódó elméletek és fogalmak

Rövid leírás

Authenticity A valódi önkifejezés fontossága (Rogers, humanisztikus pszichológia)

Cognitive dissonance Feszültség, amikor viselkedésünk nem egyezik értékeinkkel (Festinger)

Pluralistic ignorance Mindenki azt hiszi, hogy mások elfogadnak egy normát, miközben senki sem ért vele egyet

False consensus effect Hajlam arra, hogy túlbecsüljük, mennyire osztják mások a véleményünket

Social desirability bias Kérdőívekben az a jelenség, hogy az emberek a “társadalmilag kívánatos” választ adják

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7. Mit lehet tenni ellene?

• Önreflexió és pszichológiai tudatosság növelése

• Támogató közeg keresése, ahol önazonos viselkedés megengedett

• Határhúzás gyakorlása (assertivitás tréningek)

• Kritikai gondolkodás fejlesztése – különösen a médiafogyasztás és társadalmi normák kapcsán

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[astrolook]

⏳The ‘Unluckiest’ Aspects: Why Some People Always Struggle (And How to Break the Cycle) ⏳

Note: These are my personal observations over the years. The patterns I’ve seen show up again and again in real life, not just in textbooks. If it resonates, cool. If not, toss it to the stars.

Saturn in 1st - Born serious. Life said “smile later.” Grew up faster than everyone else and now wonders why joy feels like a scam. Inner child needs a hug. Might have been bullied as a kid.

Moon in 12th - You may have grown up suppressing feelings to survive. Emotional isolation follows you, even in crowds. No one knows how you're feeling because you don’t either. Emotional GPS is foggy. Cries alone and doesn’t know why. Dreams are emotional landfills.

Mars square Neptune - You swing between chasing visions and total burnout. Also, your anger either leaks out or vanishes when you need it. You’re passionate but disoriented, craving purpose without a map. Motivation disappears like socks in the dryer.

Saturn in 5th - Creativity feels like pressure instead of pleasure. You might fear being seen as silly, vulnerable, or untalented. Tough dating life or non-existent.

Chiron in 2nd - You link value to productivity, money, or external approval. Financial instability = emotional instability. Feels personally attacked by every bill. Buys love or denies pleasure. Abundance feels suspicious.

Moon square Saturn - Emotional constipation. You learned early to suppress emotional needs for safety. You love was likely earned, rationed, or absent. You judge yourself for feeling “too much” or “too little.”

Pluto in 4th - Your family may have had secrets, trauma, or control issues or felt like a pressure cooker. You are on survival mode. You might fear vulnerability because you equate it with danger.

Neptune in 6th - You could get exploited in your work place or it drained you to the core. Your body responds more to emotions than logic. Reality glitches. Could romanticize suffering as devotion to duty, in some cases.

Mars in 12th - You are your own enemy. Anger goes underground. Blows up once a year, spectacularly. You sabotage your own drive before others can judge it. Your anger turns inward, manifesting in anxiety or illness.

Sun opposite Pluto - You’re constantly torn between control and surrender. Power struggles follow you in both relationships and identity. Transformation comes after a meltdown.

Mercury square Saturn - You words buffer in real life. Your thoughts feel like they need a permission slip. You might struggle to communicate because of early invalidation. You second-guess even your clearest ideas.

Mercury rx in 3rd - You overthink your overthinking, then rewrite it three times. Early school years felt like decoding a foreign language. Words often fail you mid-sentence, especially when they matter.

Mars rx in 1st - You feel guilty for wanting things, even basic ones. Anger simmers silently or explodes after repression. You don’t fight until your identity feels erased. Initiative feels hard when self-worth is in question.

Jupiter rx in 5th/9th - Your beliefs come from within, not institutions. You’ve always questioned the rules, even spiritual ones. Teachers disappointed you, so you became your own. Faith is personal, earned, and ever-shifting.

Uranus rx in 5th/11th - You want to fit in just not like them. Seriously, friendships feel like freedom tests or social experiments. You fear conformity but crave belonging.

Mercury rx square Neptune - Communication feels like trying to text through fog. You say one thing, feel another, and mean a third. Imagination is wild but so is your confusion. People misunderstand you and you misunderstand yourself.

🌌✨Wanna know how your own retrogrades or unlucky placements play out in your chart? Or decode why certain patterns keep showing up in your life like cosmic reruns?

DM me for a complete astrology reading and check out my pinned post for pricing 🌌✨

[botanicalsword]

House Stellium • Harmonising your energy

Advices for those with prominent House Stellium

This is relevant for Natal Chart, Progression Chart, Solar Return Chart, and Lunar Return Chart.

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1st House Stellium - maintain humility & an open mindset

be open to others' opinions and not be too arrogant

listen to your inner voice, trust your intuition and inner feelings - learn to listen to others' perspectives

gain different angles of thinking and experiences

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2nd House Stellium - hard work and savings

avoiding get-rich-quick schemes, seeking luck, or engaging in illegal ways

through diligence and frugality, steadily accumulate wealth and achieve your goals

✧ 3rd House Stellium - talents and interests

leverage your expressive and communication abilities to excel in the field of culture and the arts

showcase your uniqueness in the arts and cultural domains

enhance your expressive and communication skills to engage with others and share your thoughts and creativity

✧ 4th House Stellium - explore unknown territories

explore the world outside and not stay too isolated at home.

actively participate in social activities - step out of your comfort zone

broaden your horizons, enrich your life experiences - interact with different groups of people

✧ 5th House Stellium - the importance of financial knowledge

study investment theories - can better manage and grow our financial assets

engage in moderate entertainment and relaxation outside of work - maintaining a balance

✧ 6th House Stellium - physical health

be attentive, and diligent but overworking

maintain a balance between work and life

Sustaining good physical health - enhance work efficiency and life quality

schedule work and rest time properly

✧ 7th House Stellium - choice of partner

be cautious in choosing partners, whether in relationships or business ventures

Good partnerships - shared success

unsuitable partners - unnecessary troubles and difficulties

✧ 8th House Stellium - unexpected circumstances

leave room for alternatives when dealing with matters - reduce anxiety and stress

have backup plans and maintain being calm / let go

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9th House Stellium - knowledge and wisdom

read more books, explore the world

understand different cultures and perspectives, and expand our thinking and cognitive range

Reading - transport us into a colorful world, stimulating our imagination and creativity.

✧ 10th House Stellium - quality of life

excel in work or entrepreneurship while also giving yourselves some space for personal life

pursue professional success while paying attention to our quality of life

need time to rest, engage in leisure activities

spend time with family and friends

✧ 11th House Stellium - self-acceptance

strong interpersonal skills

avoid relying too much on others' approval

maintain authenticity and independence

not excessively conforming to others' expectations or seeking validation for satisfaction

believe in our value and capabilities

maintain confidence and self-esteem

✧ 12th House Stellium - kindness and empathy 

qualities of tolerance and inclusiveness

sympathize with others' experiences

avoid procrastination

take proactive actions and avoid delaying problem-solving or pursuing our goals

forgiveness towards others and yourselves - release inner tolerance and goodwill

✧

Dear 12th House Stellium

12th House Stellium Part I (Extended)

12th House Dominance Part II (Extended)

Hidden strength of 12th House (Extended)

>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content

Exclusive access : Patreon

✧

[your-average-mess-on-all-fronts]

The fact that so many of us grew up undiagnosed autistic and socially isolated to the point where we couldn't have a normal interaction with our average classmate, were forced into learning philosophical and psychological theory just to understand what the fuck was wrong with us, kept having our interests shamed by the mainstream and our natural form of existence being seen as a turn-off for almost everyone in our fucking lives, kept being told that we were being inappropriate and unacceptable because the rules of society were stupid, had our entire life fall apart because everything was harder than it was supposed to be, developed multiple mental health issues in the process and had to cling to the insights we gained about society from the outside and to the things we were passionate about as our only forms of stability and power, only to then be told that we're "not better than everyone else for liking different things" and "should stop trying to win over male approval", just because we also happened to live through all that as girls and God Forbid we let the self-importance of an isolated dysfunctional teenage girl without social support blow out of proportion, will probably continue making me angry for as long as this doesn't stop. And maybe a bit after that too.

What I need some of you to understand is that "haha other girls wear makeup and date guys while I listen to indie rock and have no love life" is not necessarily a takedown of wearing makeup and dating guys. Sometimes it's just attempting to joke around at how terrifyingly isolating it is to be the only one who is the latter and WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE YOURSELF ANY OTHER WAY EVEN IF YOU TRIED, while everyone in your life is the former, and seem to relegate you to the category of "unsociable weirdo". Do you really think that this causes people (and by people I mean TEENAGE GIRLS for fucks sake) to believe they're genuinely better than everyone around them? Do you think people who went through this and made "other girls vs me" memes on Facebook were the ones who left the "other girls" of the world with unresolved personal trauma from highschool? That the outcasts joking about being edgy and cool because they can't get along with anyone are the ones who made gender-conforming girls with mainstream interests and a friend group and a love life feel like they are lesser? Give me. A fucking. Break.

[namisweatheria]

One Piece means a lot to me as a disabled person, which I think would be pretty surprising to anyone who only has a surface understanding of it. The supposed central theme of "follow your dreams" would be pretty alienating to someone like me, right? It really, really would be, if that's what it was actually about.

However, that ignores that Luffy's dream is to be the most free person in the world. And to attain that goal, the first thing he does is find friends to live life with. Over and over again, from the very beginning, he takes on their burdens, all in the name of being the most free.

Do you see what that would mean to me, as someone who needs more help to get by than is considered culturally normal, to the point that it puts me in a whole socially manufactured category of "other"? Not to mention, because of the infantilization of me due to that category, because of being forced so squarely into the "cared for" role, taking care of other people is deeply meaningful and empowering for me. However, the myths of independence and universal natural ability often make it emotionally difficult for my loved ones to accept that care.

The fear of asking for help, the guilt of being cared for, the weight of someone you loved who could not be as free as you, the insecurity of not contributing enough, the fear that you were born wrong, the self-hatred that says you are not worth the effort, Nami Sanji Zoro Usopp Robin Chopper Franky Ace they all explore the painful obstacles to free connection. Through deeply impactful stories that weave beautifully into the larger one.

All centered around this one person who views loving them and living with them and carrying them as essential to his freedom. Who cannot, for countless reasons, live a normalized life of Structured Relations. Who views exploring and bickering and suffering and laughing with them as the ideal way to live. Who repeatedly puts his life and limbs on the line to do so.

To me, it is an ultimate privilege and freedom to carry other people's burdens. To care for them and live with them. This is central to my whole perspective, and is completely informed by my life experience as a disabled person. I rarely see it reflected back to me. Let alone as powerfully and beautifully as Luffy does.

Nor the other half of it, of wanting to create this life with people in ways that aren't socially normal or approved. Of creating many varied lifelong intimate relations among equals, rather than conforming to the expectation of choosing One Person to live life with and then Creating More.

The utter lack of roles and norms is just as integral and powerful to the exploration of freedom and connection! It is meaningful to me as a queer person, yes, but even this is deeply influenced by my disability. I could never be that One Person, despite everything I have to offer, there is logistically far too much that I cannot do to be someone's equal partner in this society that demands so much from all of us. However, even if I could, I wouldn't want to! It doesn't make any sense to me to only have two people navigate life together on such intimate terms. Can't the demands of society be more comfortably met in a group? Isn't life more fun that way?

We are taught that we can and must do everything ourselves, I just happen to be one of the people that never had a chance to buy into that lie. To learn very early not just the necessity of interdependence, but the joy in it. To learn that it is most comfortably lived with more people involved. To me, close relationships are, love is, a natural extension of that understanding. One Piece celebrates interdependence constantly from the start, while never pretending that it is always easy.

The obstacles to free connection that I mentioned before, they are interspersed throughout the story, and they are always met with "I do the things you can't do, and you do the things I can't do." With, "Of course I can't use swords you dumbass! And I can't cook either! I don't know a damn thing about navigation! And I can't lie! I know I can't live without help from a lot of people!"

These are intentionally impactful moments, and they define the series. I found it very fitting that the Fan Letter focused on a character who was empowered by Nami to feel free and live adventurously despite not being the most physically capable. The character is able by our definition, but the story is very affirming in a disability way, and it was extremely One Piece. I loved how it acknowledged this deep connection between One Piece and the lived reality of disability and celebrated it as integral as it is.

I also believe that absolutely none of this is intentional. It is simply an earnest exploration of human relationships, emotions, and behavior, and it naturally arrives at a radical and disability-affirming viewpoint. Because we are the monkey wrench in the deeply unhealthy (lol) and dominant line of thinking that independence is all. So naturally anything that also disputes that thinking has a disabled-perspective feel to it. The best part is how much it doesn't give a fuck! One Piece is aggressively against conformity in human relationships, in a way that is hard to find in our new world of self-conscious authors.

It's also, you know, the worst part, in terms of all the outrageous bigotry and offensive character design, but god damn it if it doesn't elevate the good parts to unbearable heights. Even the bad character designs can sometimes be more impactful for their intentional "ugliness", when those characters are inevitably taken seriously despite their appearance and the stereotypes they play on, it hits hard every time. I do have a simple hatred for many choices, there is no pay-off for much of the awful problems in numerous character designs and dialogue. But no matter how upset I can be by those things, in the end they can't succeed in pulling me away from One Piece. It's just so crazy and unique and great and terrible and beautiful and I LOVE IT.

[hadesoftheladies]

Opinion: We Need to Start Talking About Violent Feminist Activism Seriously

while i do not think that females are as violent or would be as violent as males without patriarchal obstruction, i think it's mostly the emasculation of women (female socialization) that leads to this demureness that perpetuates female subjugation. we often frame femininity as something that inhibits consciousness-raising, but it is actually far more frightening and deeper than that. femininity and its practices inhibit female self-worth which in turn causes women to devalue themselves. this is why women are not accustomed to fighting for themselves, like every other animal (male and female) on this earth. women are so used to "lying down and taking it" because it is something they are primed to do. the danger of femininity isn't just that it deforms our bodies or divides us from each other, it is that it physically and mentally disables our ability to fight back.

i have often neglected to mention alternative methods in my separatist posts, but separatism is not the only way we can enact large-scale societal transformation. it is the only nonviolent way.

the truth of the matter is, as much as we make jokes and fantasize about killing men, the reason most women and girls "behave" when it comes to men and men do not "behave" when it comes to women is because women simply aren't feared, despite the fact that we have the power to become a threat. even in feminist circles such as this, talk of women physically harming men is seen as taboo, as something that can be easily used against us. so we have to constantly disclose that we aren't serious. i think this is part of the problem.

the other word for fear is respect. men cannot respect or revere men they do not fear on some level. in a twisted way, in order for women to become human to men, we have to get scary. we have to hold real power over them and become intolerant to them.

this doesn't necessarily have to be done strictly in violent ways. resisting femininity can range from allowing ourselves to frown and even scowl in public, not being hospitable toward men, not complimenting, affirming, validating or cleaning up after them. but the point of combatting female socialization is resisting the role of women in patriarchal society: sexual object, or in other words, victim. it is the victimization of women that men find especially erotic. that's why consensual sex isn't enough for them. they are fuelled by female terror.

in short, gyns, i'm saying the time has come when we should aim to put the fear of god in these bastards. the only way they will view rape as badly as they view cannibalism is if there is a constant looming threat of brutal social castration. they need to fear social punishment, which is difficult because half of society is made up of men that approve. so how can the other half, women, make it so that the other half are afraid to do so?

which brings us, ironically, back to separatism and also gender non-conformity. in order for women to reach a place where we can defend ourselves using violence and not get taken ten steps back for killing/maiming a rapist, pedo, abuser we need women to have access to ironclad female solidarity.

male solidarity is what keeps the status quo intact, and female solidarity is its only worthy counterpoint. the reason patriarchy is so strong is because of female solidarity with males rather than intra-community solidarity. this is the weak point of patriarchy, it's over-dependence on women on a cellular level. society as we know it, patriarchal or not, will fall to shit if women refused to participate in its core structures. literally the only reason children are still being born, raised and schooled in the face of men's destructiveness is because of women. men can destroy as much as they like and a society will still function for the most part because of the resilience of women. literally the biggest economic problems societies face come from male criminality whether from upper or lower class men. the only reason any of it still functions is because of women. women are the glue of the home themselves, the basic unit of society. take women away, and i promise there's nothing fucking left.

for this reason, the biggest de-radicalization tools patriarchy employs against female liberation are marriage/co-habitation with men, femininity and religion and i will get into the details why briefly:

-marriage/co-habitation often results in the woman's isolation from female community or larger society because the man strategically makes himself the central focus/recipient of her resources (health, attention, energy)

-femininity keeps women focused on male approval as a source of power, further encouraging female-female competition and destroying solidairty

-religion and romance are explicitly androcentric, focusing on framing men as the only possible givers of life, purpose, fulfillment and meaning to women while simultaneously demeaning, obscuring and devaluing the fact that women are oftentimes the primary sources of human life and love

now see that all three do three very important things for de-radicalization: they frame men as sources of life, meaning and vitality as opposed to a threat or disadvantage, isolates women from their true selves (devaluing their friendships, erasing their history and contributions, distorting their nature), and pits women against each other. to sum up, centering men and then erasing and isolating women from each other and themselves.

but we won't scare men by psyching ourselves out of what's going to be necessary to defend ourselves. in order for women to be mobilized to take power men have no authority to deny them, we have to cultivate strong, nearly unbreakable self-esteem. we need to esteem ourselves so highly that we never question whether or not we should feel entitled to a better life.

that's why refusing to emasculate yourself is the first step. decolonizing your mind of its male-centeredness and no longer seeing yourself as subordinate, inferior or less worthy to a life of freedom than him.

the second step after de-centering men within yourself is to quickly center women. that's where separatism comes in. not only does this also aid you in decolonizing the rest of your mind, but it gives you the courage to go for better rather than settle for what men say you deserve. seeing that actually, men aren't vital at all to a wonderful life. throwing yourself into female centricity and replacing male hegemony with female history, philosophy, culture, literature, all of it. but not just on a mental level, on an interpersonal and financial level as well. this boosts you economically and empowers you buy giving you that independence necessary to make demands.

then when it comes to the dire, when men retaliate as they are prone to do, you don't hesitate to punish them for it. you don't hesitate to make it cost them. whether that's in organized feminist cyber attacks (doxxing, phishing, DDos attacks, etc). you make them see themselves as potential victims. where what they do to others can also be done to them. where they fear being poisoned, disappearing, outed, isolated, killed.

this kind of organized self-defense will not happen without female solidarity. we already have examples of women coming together to beat abusive men up and get rid of the threats themselves when victims of male violence fear state retaliation too much to defend themselves. female solidarity can substitute for state neglect. it is the only thing that can. the king of the pride doesn't stand a chance against a pack of lionesses. and the state cannot punish all its women lest it destroy itself entirely. governments know that restricting women restricts their economy, so killing masses of women is just not feasible.

female solidarity is the missing piece, and that's what the status quo continually tries to dismantle. also, non-violence in the face of our oppression has never been a virtue. it is something the patriarchy has counted on.

the lie of femininity is that men will respect or care for us once they see how we suffer and how beautiful we are. we think they will set us apart as sacred if they are in love with us. but the truth is they will only respect us if they fear us.

anyways, i'm just thinking out loud here, and these are all generalizations. i'll need to make a whole other article where i break this down on an infrastructural level.

[fumifooms]

Kabushuro

Kabru can fix Shuro I think. It’s cute how surprisingly similar they are...

Okay so they're a "we have similar issues" type of duo and the key word is performance.

1) They both treat socializing as a battleground, as a scripted dance there are right and wrong ways to act in, Kabru uses words and social relations as his weapon, especially as someone who was always disempowered otherwise in his life, and Toshiro from his noble background was raised in a very strict stifling way where rules, hierarchy and the importance of social cues were drilled into him. To kabru, being liked was what got him and continues to get him shelter at the island (his landlord even cleans his room for him) and what got and continues to get people to listen to him. To Toshiro, a right conduct is what gets him approval and what upholds the honor of not only him but his entire family and household, it's not just pressure but also his way to feel loved- which never worked with his dad. Kabru's dad left his mother when Kabru was born and Toshiro's father would never take interest in his sons, nothing they could do was grand and impressive enough, preferring instead to travel and horse around despite being a man of great import and military achievements. Community & social success are very important to Kabru and duty and societal approval are very important to Toshiro. Toshiro wants to fit into the expectations placed upon him and Kabru wants to wield social approval to better turn around and change these expectations and that pressure, work towards a society with less need to conform where more people can come to and find a safe home. Toshiro almost dreads his future role, while power couldn't come to Kabru fast enough.

2) They both repress themselves. While Kabru is a malleable tool to even himself, Toshiro's identity and demeanor is rigid, it's just not his own- but something he thought he had to replicate. They both suppress their true selves and their feelings to be more pleasing to the people around them and society and leave very little time for self-care. Neither have people they can truly be themselves with, Kabru not wanting to be vulnerable with anyone even his childhood friend Rin who went through similar trauma, and Toshiro having to be the honorable heir with everyone he interacts with, even feeling like he was betrayed by his mother figure Maizuru he loved when it turned out she also bent her spine for his (in his opinion) good-for-nothing father- he's constantly shadowed by his bodyguards, constantly monitored!!

Like the thing that gives them stress and that gives them validation is sorta the same (achievements & family expectations, understanding and playing people to get to goals) and like……………. Idk

They’re like. Parrot vs parakeet… They share the same cage and Kabru parrot is singing and playing with the enrichment puzzle toys and doing little dances meanwhile Toshiro is huddled in the corner quiet in a ball. Birds are stressed smart animals lol this makes sense to me.

Sooo they're both repressed guys who approach social relationships with a facade and hold the community & world's wellbeing above their own. They do have a lot of differences as well though, like how Kabru is so much more active than passive and paves his own path, meanwhile Toshiro has a hard time leading and tries much more to stay confined in the rigid structure of his life- again being malleable and adaptable vs rigid to a fault. They're both STRESSED and they both hate OPENING UP!

We see Kabru get Toshiro out of his shell a bit :) Though pushing Toshiro to be more active is something we see a couple people do in general, like how Namari dragged him into the "Asivia is causing problems in the party" pre-canon Laios party conversation. But where does this even go from there I hear you ask.

Well thankfully for us, Kabru likes figuring out people and Toshiro does crave some connection, as seen with Falin. Toshiro meeting someone not from the East who is still familiar with eastern customs (okonomiyaki for example), not enough to criticize Toshiro for doing things wrong but enough that Toshiro can relax around him. Knowing his intents get across. It’d be relaxing for Toshiro for sure to be around someone who like, gets social cues almost effortlessly. Kabru would seem to always read him so well even when he can’t express how he’s feeling and, even though it’d also be a bit (lot) scary in a feeling naked and you can’t hide anything from him way, it’d be soothing to know that literally like, that he doesn’t have to put up a front yes (because it'd be useless, Kabru sees A L L)- but also that he doesn’t have to even really communicate verbally almost, which he finds somewhat hard to do. They do still communicate very easily together though! Toshiro is good at picking up on things so he's not oblivious to Kabru's scheming and shrewdness, which makes their relationship easier to both work and be healthy imo.

They gain a sense of complicity pretty quick in canon. Chapter 32 my beloved. I love how he implicitly answers Toshiro's "Is that all?" later with Namari. He borderline opens up more to Toshiro that he's known for a couple days at most than he has to his own party he's known for years.

They just hang out and they tune to each other’s moods and the worries of the rest of the world around them melts a bit... Eventually. When Toshiro starts to actively notice things about Kabru back is when shit gets real on his end like oh... Oh shit…….

Reciprocity is so so interesting to think about especially with Kabru, always. It’s easy when it’s kind of like a play and attending to the other's every need and want just the right way, but then they want you to be part of the equation, what they want is you and not just what you offer them and suddenly it’s…… Not safe, or easy.

Thinking again about my theory that Shuro’s nightmare is just a barely exaggerated day at his house… The dread and suffocation and exhaustion of having eyes and all the weight of honor and behavior constantly follow him wherever he goes, pick his every movement apart. Benichidori style... But like, and how kabru doesn’t need Toshiro to tell him about that nightmare in specific to pick up on his less than ideal childhood. And kabru was in kind of a similar situation of feeling trapped at home by his parent too. Bonding, slowly but surely...

Kabru pulling the same strings he did on Dia’s boyfriend until Shuro’s a tearful mess (still barely holding them back). I do think he’d be a harder challenge, he’s way more repressed, less social and open and in touch with himself, unlike Dia’s fiance who’s all fiery I bet and seemdd to know what was the real issue bothering him… I think it’d be like enrichment for Kabru. Someone to get to know and it’s a lot of back and forth and mutual effort- Kabru’s very used to just, either pushing or receiving a ton in relationships, having people load their feelings and expectations onto him, reserved Toshiro would be refreshing I think. Someone who's not particularly interested in Kabru, and someone who wants to be focused on and looked at just as little as he does. It’s not like Laios where he has important motives to crack his mystery, the stakes are low he can just chill and enjoy trying to figure him out for the sake of genuine curiosity and a lil something in the air whenever they interact. They’re intriguing.

King of staying in his lane looking like a kicked puppy in his noble suit vs king of putting his nose in everyone’s business everywhere for the greater good getting to just have this thing that’s unprofessional and has no reason to be yet feels nice.

They should have regular meetups at the ramen joint, okonomiyaki trio ftw. A mutual letting down of walls in their offwork hours <3 It helps that he's already seen Toshiro at his worst I think. Kabru could even just hit him up sitting with him with a drink for a bit at the ending feast or something and they form a lil friendship :>

In a kabushuro timeline that adheres to post-canon would Toshiro live in Merini or would they be long-distance… Courting through letters and diplomatic travels as ambassadors…… Timeline where Kabru doesn’t become advisor and instead lives as Toshiro’s husband & like second head of the family is interesting… Although Kabru cares about using his politician status for change & greater good. I also do love Toshiro giving up on the heirdom too lowkey. See though the thing is that toshiro is ALSO about greater good, what he & traditions say is anyways, and it's stated that when he becomes the new head of the family things improve in the household- he's a better, more conscientious leader. Advisor x family leader kabushuro where Toshiro pushes for good Wa-Melini relations and an alliance... Every which way is neat

I need a fic where they just self-care and have a slow day hanging out together is the thing. They need a day at the spa (Toshiro needs a day playing in the mud actually but idk they can go to camping spa). Shuro takes a mud bath and realizes he’s entertaining himself by letting the mud drip from his fingers into a little pile on the rim. Even for small habits and stim he'd be super repressed I feel but finding subtle ways to stim king... Would kabru be good at massages? He 1000% knows how to massage out a knot in shoulders, it's a good way to get into people’s good graces... Kabru "I could help you to relax :)" especially if early on and he wants info/to have Toshiro as an ally. Shuro just melts into a puddle because he *really needed* a massage from someone (outside of the family). Didn’t feel like he’d have to continue performing. He knows human anatomy real well and stuff I bet if he tried he could even do acupuncture… Toshiro prob needs to get half-naked which makes him all 😖 but he gets over it and gets comfier the longer it goes on. Kabru’s satisfied/proud when he notices Toshiro’s discomfort get worn down over the minutes until he’s fully relaxed. Thank you @/saccharineomens for the brainstorm <3 God you just know they’d be in a situation where they’re sitting next to each other, having a real heart to heart, and kabru gently puts a comforting hand on Shuro’s leg while nodding sympathetically at him, and Shuro gets a little flustered at what appears to him to be a rather forward move lol.

Kabushuro eventually having the meanest gossip like just absolutely unleashing their pettiness together, I’d love to see it. They've got it in them I know it

The planning plotters...

[anxiousapplepie]

So the rose's live in a society where children are encourage to fight each other. And fighting and stabbing seem pretty commonplace. So that brings the question. What do Rose's see as abuse and what do they not?

A very good question! And this one's got a lot of nuance and way too many factors, so lets see if I can get the general vibe explained

Roses have a super-duper strong sense of community, and they WILL make sure to build each other up in positive ways in all aspects of their lives. But unfortunately, the pressure to conform is equally strong, and if a Rose thinks they are "helping" a bud or a peer to fit in better so they can "be more happy and fulfilled", I don't think I need to tell you that isn't cash-money even if it IS the expected reaction. Most Roses won't think that is abuse, even if it's obvious the Rose they are "helping" is more miserable after the discipline/peer pressure/murder has happened.

But also? In the cities, fighting and duels and violence is one of the only socially acceptable ways TO deal with things 'you can't talk about' without needing to go through the confusing song and dance of "Rose Etiquette". No matter your job, your age, your status or your family history, any Rose can fight anyone to settle a score, prove a point, or for petty reasons like not liking someone's attitude. (pokemon battle logic) And if you try saying "hey, this is wrong and abusive" to one of the only approved ways a City Rose can use to air their grievances or opinions in an equal playing field? You'd be murdered for trying to take away the only option a Rose could have to use their voice in any meaningful way.

I'm not saying it's a good system, but it's the only one the city Roses have after everything they'd done to their society. XD

[artmindlens]

The Son of Man by René Magritte (1964)

The Psychology of Transgression and Guilt Magritte’s The Son of Man immediately captivates with its two central symbols: the apple and the figure’s formal attire. The apple, suspended in front of the man’s face, evokes not only the biblical narrative of Eden but also the Oedipal Complex, where transgression against the father’s law leads to guilt. In the biblical tale, Adam consumes the forbidden fruit offered by Eve, symbolizing the birth of self-awareness, shame, and the burden of guilt. In this painting, the man’s face is concealed behind the apple, echoing the unresolved guilt from that original transgression.

From a psychoanalytic perspective, the apple mirrors the child’s desire for the mother and the violation of paternal boundaries, evoking the tension between desire and punishment. Before consuming the apple, Adam was unaware of his nakedness, just as the child, before transgressing paternal laws, is innocent of their own desires. Magritte’s man, in contrast, is fully dressed—his body covered by a formal suit, suggesting an overcompensation for that earlier transgression. His attire, like the suit of a corporate leader, represents conformity to societal rules and the defensive structures built to contain one’s hidden impulses.

However, it’s the apple that holds the deepest psychological weight. By hiding the man’s face—his core of identity and expression—it creates a psychological tension between the desire to be seen and the fear of being exposed. For a leader or executive, this speaks to the unconscious burden carried beneath the polished exterior, where the drive for success is continually shaped by the fear of transgression and the guilt of overstepping social or professional boundaries.

The Suit as a Symbol of Conformity and Defense The man’s formal attire serves as more than just a uniform of professionalism—it becomes a psychological defense. The suit, much like the hat perched atop his head, symbolizes social status and conformity, a way to signal adherence to the expectations of society, much like corporate leaders navigate the demands of shareholders, regulatory bodies, and industry norms. Yet, behind this polished exterior, the apple remains—a reminder that no matter how much we align ourselves with social structures, the hidden burden of guilt and the desire to transgress still linger beneath the surface.

Leaders who resonate with this painting might feel an unconscious connection to this duality of identity. On one hand, they must project a facade of control, success, and conformity. On the other, they may grapple with the weight of unresolved guilt from past decisions or actions—choices that, like the apple, remain hidden from public view but deeply influence their sense of self.

Transgression, Authority, and the Pursuit of Power The Oedipal Complex present in this work also extends into the realms of power and authority. The apple, symbolizing forbidden desire, creates a tension with the suit, a marker of societal success and control. For those drawn to this painting, it may evoke a subconscious acknowledgment of the transgressive impulses that often drive ambition—the desire to challenge authority and push past boundaries, while simultaneously seeking approval from the very structures they seek to defy.

For executives or professionals who might display this work, The Son of Man serves as a psychological mirror, reflecting the internal struggles faced in their journey toward leadership. The fear of exposure, the guilt of transgression, and the need for external validation all intertwine within the image. It reminds us that no matter how elevated one becomes in status or authority, the unconscious drive to rebel and the weight of guilt are never fully erased.

The Apple as the Unconscious Burden of Guilt At its core, the apple not only hides the man’s face but represents the guilt of wanting more—more power, more success, more control. In leadership, this often translates into a continuous striving for achievement while carrying the fear of overstepping boundaries. The man’s face, hidden yet central, reminds us that in the pursuit of success, there is always a part of the self that remains concealed—driven by past transgressions and the desire to surpass societal limitations.

For those drawn to this painting, it could signal an unconscious recognition of the cost of ambition—that the pursuit of power, while necessary, also comes with a burden of guilt and the need to reconcile one’s hidden desires with public expectations.

[moonchildstyles]

would elan y/n like fashion week? would harry go with her as her bodyguard or her boyfriend?

wordcount: 3.6k+

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(Y/N) stood still as Dom fluttered around her, his hands making the finishing touches on his vision. As soon as the invitation to sit in on some of the premier shows of Paris Fashion Week—front row, no less—he'd been dreaming up an entire scheme of different looks and aesthetics for her to conquer. Sketches and rounds of approval started the process, only to finish with a handful of tedious fittings until they landed on the final looks. A handpicked team accompanied them to the city, complete with hairstylists and makeup artists (Y/N) had only ever seen on her socials. While it wasn't the first time she'd attended Fashion Week shows, this was the first time she had been invited to go international at the invitation of a few of the houses, and Dom wanted to ensure it wouldn't be the last. 

First up: the Jean Paul Gaultier show and the silken outfit Dom had put together. 

As soon as she finished her breakfast that morning, she had been settled in the eye of the whirlwind that was her team, readying her for the show. Dom was insistent on finishing her off in time for a personal photoshoot to be done to add to his portfolio (and her Instagram) as well as hitting the small carpet that would be set up outside of the show for her to be pictured for the event. Everything was going to be perfect, he promised. 

(Y/N) went along with every one of his whims, standing, bending, and contorting exactly how he wanted until he finally came around for the finishing touches. From the corner of her eye, as Dom perfected the effortless-but-purposeful folds, she could see Harry lingering in the corner of the room, his watchful eye stuck on her. 

Seeing him like this, her view obstructed with glamorous hands flitting around her form, took her back to the day of the 132 Gala. Back then, he had barely met her eye for longer than a second, glancing at her before he would force himself to pull away. Now, he held no shame, raking his gaze over her body, taking in the cut of her dress, cinch of her curves, and every angle of her form. There was even a slight curl to his lips, lopsided with only a single dimple. She wished she knew what was going on in his head, but with the way he kept flicking down to the lace up boots that went high up her thighs she had an inkling. 

"What do you think? How do you feel? Anything you want to change?" Dom fired off, taking (Y/N)'s attention from her bodyguard and back to the task at hand. 

Across from her stood a full length mirror, giving her a complete look of her archival look and all of the details that went into making her impact. 

Reflected back at her was her own made up eyes, complete with a light sweep of blush heading up her temples, minimal eye makeup, and a muted, blurry cherry shade patted over her lips. Her hair was piled high above her head, extensions and heat-rolled curls were folded around her face to give the illusion of a halo—like the Gaultier shows from decades before they were taking their inspiration from. The star of the show was the archive piece from Gaultier themselves, white silk draped over her body with a low cut down her chest that ended high on her thighs, though the fabric was cinched around her waist with the help of a matching, gauzy  corset. It was tied tight around her middle, complete with three different sets of laces—two of which were tied at her sides with one down the center as well holding the entire piece together.

Her look was completed with a small red bag that matched the thigh high boots cinched over her legs, dyed a bright scarlet red that conformed to her shape. They were the statement piece of the look, and, watching Harry's wandering eye, they were doing their job of catching attention. 

(Y/N) smiled at her reflection, flicking her eyes away from Harry's form in the background to look to Dom. "I like it," she told him, "I feel good, I don't think we need to change anything." 

"Me neither, darling!" Dom beamed, taking her in with pride as if she were his next piece of art in his exhibit. "We'll do photos and then we go!" 

With that, Dom dismissed the glam team after calling for a final meeting this afternoon to finalize the look for tomorrow's Yves Saint Laurent show. He flitted through the room, thinking aloud as he searched for the missing photographer. Now alone, (Y/N) didn't hesitate before turning on her red heel and looking to Harry with a beaming smile on her lips. 

"What do you think?" She reached out for him, her purse hanging off of her wrist. 

Harry came to her in slow strides, taking her in with lingering drags of his eyes. When he met her eyes through the fan of his lashes, a sly grin tugged at his lips. "I don't know if y'want me to say." 

"Why not?" she asked, smiling at the way he smiled despite not being entirely sure where he was going. 

"Y'said y'don't like it when I get you all flustered before we go out," he drawled, reaching her with his arms going around her waist, "Y'told me y'think it looks obvious in pictures that you've got something on your mind." 

Happily falling into his hold, she understood where he was going with his declaration. "Because it is," she said, putting her manicured nails through his hair, "You can check any of the articles dissecting my body language when we're out, and they'll tell you that we just had sex and I can't stop thinking about it." 

He only shrugged at her claim, instead pushing forward and dotting a careful kiss on her lipsticked lips. 

"That's how I know 'm doing m'job," he murmured, pulsing his arms around her middle. His fingertips skated over the faux ties on her sides, "But, really, y'look gorgeous. 'M excited to see everyone's reaction at the show." 

(Y/N) brightened at his praise, "You think they'll like it?" 

"Sweet girl," he said, shaking his head before pulling away just enough to give her a slow appraisal, "they're going to love it. Gonna be asked to be put right in the show, I think." 

Taking in the soft of his eyes, the genuine sincerity he always laid upon her, (Y/N) couldn't hold back her smile, "Maybe."   It was her turn then to catch him in a kiss then. Though she was aware of the careful red stain on her lips, she was much too focused on the warmth of his words filtering through her system to truly care. Her arms were draped over his shoulders, fingers carding through the delicate curls on the back of his head as she sunk into their kiss. His hands on her waist tightened, keeping her close as she felt the very small curl of his lips as he smiled against her. 

It wasn't until she parted her lips, a brief taste of his tongue over her mouth, that the door to the bedroom that had been designated as her dressing room was pushed open. Dom's singsong voice filtered through, declaring something about photos only to be cut off at the sight that greeted him. 

"Oh, come on, (Y/N)," he sighed, sounding like a petulant child, "You couldn't have done this before?" 

Truthfully, she couldn't be upset with Dom for his exasperation—especially since he was one of the few who knew the real story behind she and Harry, and hadn't sold the story immediately. The effort that had gone into her makeup wasn't something she took for granted, though Harry was just too enticing at times for her to resist. Today included. 

Nonetheless, she untangled herself from around him, conscious of the red stain that now clung to the center of Harry's lips. 

"Sorry," she mumbled, feeling her skin warm when she saw the disappointed look on Dom's face, "I can fix it if it's messed up." 

Dom waved her off, storming through the room in the flourishing way he always did, "No, no, I'll call Cassandra. Just, no more (Y/N)—you too." He pointed an accusatory finger right at Harry. 

From the corner of her eye, (Y/N) saw Harry do nothing more than bundle his hands behind his back and take a step away in surrender though there was still a less-than-hidden curl amusing his lips. 

"No more," (Y/N) repeated with a nod of her head, "Sorry." 

Harry let out a huff of laughter at her side. 

—————

Flashbulbs burned (Y/N)'s eyes, even when she blinked. She posed, changing every minute to allow for new shots as she made her way down the carpet. Her name was falling from French-accented lips, calling for her attention. Giving herself a break, she looked towards her booted feet, taking a breath when the smile fell from her lips. 

She must have taken too long when she felt a gentle hand land on her back, between her shoulder blades and on the bare skin displayed by the cut in the back of her dress. The static of someone's presence clung to her when their head dipped down close to her ear. 

"You alright?" Harry murmured, voice low for only her to hear. 

Aware of the cameras that were now snapping like crazy, taking in every angle and every breath of this moment, (Y/N) turned to him, catching his eyes. "I'm okay," she assured him, giving a small nod of her head to follow after the tiny smile on her lips, "Just needed a break from the lights." 

"'S a lot today," he agreed, decidedly grim when he let his eyes graze over the barricade of photographers, "Y'want to cut it short and go in?" 

(Y/N) shook her head, "I'll be okay. Thank you." 

It was the way that Harry's gaze lingered over her, washing over her features and cataloging each of her details, that showed her he wasn't asking as a bodyguard. This was Harry—her mon amour—asking if she was ready to leave, ready for him to rescue her out of this moment. (Though he was never one to bring it up, she was sure times like these brought up the night of the 132 Gala and the nonstop probing she had gone through). 

Whatever he saw on her face seemed to be enough to assure him. A reciprocating smile touched his features before he stepped away, melting into the background once again. 

Tuning back into the moment, (Y/N) heard the clicks of the cameras and the call of her name again like the bubbling of the ocean. She didn't allow herself to think too hard before she fell into her role, a bright smile settling on her lips and lashes fluttering just right for the shots. 

Even with all of the eyes on her, there was only one pair she felt warming her back. 

—————

The final pass of the pieces were paraded down the runway, models stomping in fanciful heels with billowing fabrics and structured shoulders. Muted tones dominated the collection, complete with sparkling jewels and artful embroidery. (Y/N) clapped along with the rest of the audience as she filed away the pieces she would definitely be passing along to Dom that she could see being added to their repertoire. 

It had been a truly beautiful show, and not just because she had been invited to sit in the front row, but she was ready for it to be over. It had been a long show, and one that she wished Harry could sit next to her through, so she actually knew someone she was seated by. Her anxiety had been on a low simmer in the back of her mind, causing her to sit stiffly and shift carefully in her seat. While she was used to cameras and the lingering threat of out-of-context videos being posted, she wanted so badly to do well here—leave the opportunity open of possibly being invited back. The expectation kept her on edge.

Seeing the end of the show allowed her lungs to finally fill, knowing that she would be granted a reprieve soon. Standing ovations were given once the designer made their way down the runway alongside the models, (Y/N) joining in with a beaming smile on her features. 

It wasn't long after a quiet round of thank yous were given out by the designer, the models being dismissed to backstage, that the audience began to filter out. (Y/N) stretched to the full of her height, heels tottering on flooring. The few acquaintances she made at her bench told her goodbye, giving small hugs and bids to see her once more at the afterparties that night, eventually leaving her and her tiny bag by herself as she drifted towards the exit. 

Coming from whatever corner he huddled himself into during the show, Harry joined her side with his eyes scanning ahead for their next steps. He looked down at her when he landed a hand on the small of her back, a bounce of his brows when he caught her already looking to him. 

"Y'alright, love?" he murmured, voice a low rumble for only her to hear. 

She gave him a nod of her head, automatic smile landing on her lips. "Yeah. I think I just need to breathe a little." 

With that, (Y/N) could see the gears beginning to turn in his head. There was a plan being stitched together in his mind, ready to take her wherever he could get her a fresh breath of air and privacy. 

Handing over all of her trust, (Y/N) followed wherever he guided her, keeping her footing steady in her boots. The patrons around them thinned the closer they came to the exit as people filtered out and left down the grandiose stairs leading up to the hall. He seemed to know the space better than her, taking her down the stairs until he steered her away from the waiting cars and gathered photographers. The path he took looped around the banister of the concrete stairs, following the line of the building until they reached a quiet alcove, complete with employee only entrances and a set of dumpsters. 

The rustling of footsteps and sea of voices was far off enough now, letting (Y/N) put her guard down without any watchful eyes around. Harry's hand on her back shifted until it became an arm around her waist, his head ducking into her line of sight with the lillypad of his eyes matching hers. 

"Thank you," she said, the words coming out on a plume of air, "What did you think of the show?" 

The warmth of his eyes glazed over her, the tick in his jaw settling once he saw there really was nothing upsetting he other than the need for a breather. "It was good—interesting. Long." 

A small breath of laughter fell from her lips. "I know. It was really long, but super cool. There were a few things in there that I think I'm going to talk to Dom about." 

"Yeah?" Harry smiled, his features softening with dimples sitting in his cheeks, "Which ones?" 

His amusement only grew as she bubbled off about the pieces that caught her eye, his attention centered only on her as she spoke. His arm around her waist was warm and anchoring, keeping her in their quiet moment. (Y/N) felt warm under his gaze, the familiarity of his presence helping her down from that simmer of anxiety. 

"That corset one was really cool," he agreed, nodding his head when she vaguely described the piece, "You'd look really pretty in it, I think." 

"Thank you," she smiled, though she was halfway sure he had no idea what garment she was talking about. Delicately her hands landed on his chest, fingers denting through his clothes. "I wish you could have sat with me—I think I would have felt better." 

There was a small curl to his lips, a single dimple in his cheek. "Me too, but I saw y'made some friends." 

"Yeah," she sighed, her grip on his tightening just enough, "But, you know I get nervous. I didn't want to bother anyone incase anyone was video taping or anything." 

His smile fell then, turning his lips into a grim line of his hard features. That was something he was still getting used to—the constant access people felt they had to her, as well as the paranoia that followed when it came to that.

"I know," he mumbled, tugging her close with his arm around her waist, "But, 's over now, and you still had a little fun, right?" 

"I did," she assured him, her own features softening into a smile in hopes of lifting his spirit, "It was really cool. I've always wanted to go to one of these shows, and now I have." 

His hand on her waist gave a small squeeze, a jump of laughter pulsing from her lungs at the touch. "Good," he crooned, loosening at the sound of her laugh, "Did y'want to go to any of the parties tonight, or were y'wanting to stay in still?" 

"Probably stay in," she answered, leaning into him that much more, "I'm still tired from the flight." 

"Me, too. We'll watch one of our cooking shows tonight then, and head to bed before the next shows tomorrow." 

There was a warmth in her chest at the solid plan Harry handed her. She knew Dom would still be disappointed that she was forcing him to shelve another archival look while she stayed in tonight, but at least she would be with Harry. 

(Y/N ) didn't think before she placed her hands on his cheeks, fingertips stretching into the baby curls of his hairline. Her eyes fluttered to a close as she leant forward, tipping her chin and pressing her lips to his. Harry's arm around her kept her in a close hug to his chest, his nose nudging hers as he turned his head just right to catch her top lip between his two. 

There would no doubt be a stain on his lips, glistening with a hint of red, but she would take care of it later. (Y/N) would prefer to melt into him while she could. 

It was only when there was the scratch of someone's shoe against the concrete, that Harry pulled away. In a second his gaze was scanning around them, finding only a single patron heading down the stairs from over their heads. His eyes followed them for a moment, waiting to see if their hiding spot had been found. When there wasn't even so much as a second glance towards their huddled position, she felt his chest deflate in her arms. 

"Ready to head back?" he asked, turning back to face her once more, his eyes blooming over her. 

Taking advantage of the quiet, (Y/N) pressed her lips to his cheek once more before untangling her limbs with only her hand in his. "Yeah," she said, giving him a nod, "I think we left the driver waiting long enough." 

The relaxed smile on (Y/N) face stayed there even as they encountered new photographers, and Harry's hand in hers shifted to once again lay on her back. She couldn't wait for tonight. 

—————

BODYGUARD PROMOTED TO BOYFRIEND? WATCH AS (Y/N) AND HER HUNKY EMPLOYEE FIND SOME PRIVACY AT PARIS FASHION WEEK

Though fans and social media alike have speculated about the nature of (Y/N) and her bodyguard—Harry Styles—relationship since the day they were first pictured together, this past weekend was the first to offer any hard evidence that there was anything more than professional going on between them. 

After touching down in Paris the night before for an exclusive invite to a few of the major shows of Paris Fashion Week—including the Jean Paul Gaultier spring runway—(Y/N) had remained low-key despite her usual Parisian club becoming the place to be before the festivities of the week began. She was first seen entering the JPG show, complete with an archival look specifically from the brand, as styled by Dominic Pedretto.

While walking the carpet, she seemed to have a moment, causing Styles to step forward and affectionately place a hand on her back, and whisper something. The moment was caught on camera—which you can see in the slideshow below!—along with the way neither of them could keep their eyes off one another. It wasn't uncommon for the pair of them to be so close while waking a carpet or even just handling a crowd of photographers—as seen at the 132 Gala as well as last Summer in Paris. 

But, it was the moment after the show that has fans running wild all over social media! 

As pictured below, (Y/N) and her bodyguard could be seen taking a private moment together outside of the Oratory of the Louvre. As opposed to all of the careful touches they've shared in front of the media, they can now be seen with his arms around her waist and (Y/N) clinging to him. Our insider wasn't close enough to catch any of the conversation, but said clear smiles and laughter was seen being shared in their alcove. It was the picture of love, the insider described it. Definitely different to what has been portrayed to the media about their relationship. 

If that wasn't enough, we also have exclusive access to the kiss heard 'round the world. In the final shot before the pair parted ways for their trek back to the media, they can be seen locked in a kiss. The steamy exchange lasted only a few moments, but our source can exclusively tells us that (Y/N) seemed eager for more, immediately pulling her "bodyguard" along so they could head home and get more of each other. 

While there's been no confirmation of any kind of relationship between the two, it must be only a matter of time until we hear wedding bells!

—————

ahhhh!!! thank u sm for reading, so sorry for any mistakes I missed, and please if there's any kind of requests or ideas anyone has please lmk!!!

[pikahlua]

Can you expand a bit on why Hawks would want to keep the hero rankings rather than get rid of them? I'm having a hard time understanding why he would do that whatsoever. What "good points" are there that he would want to keep? It always felt like a major source of corruption imo, especially since one of Nagant's jobs with the HPSC was taking out corrupt heroes who found unsavory means to boost their rankings (convincing normal people to do crimes, then arresting them). Appreciate your insight as always <3

Hawks' major criticism of the hero rankings was not the rankings themselves but the popularity component of the rankings.

Saying the "popular" thing, saying the thing everyone wants to hear, isn't heroic; it's cowardly. It's conforming. Hawks is looking for a dependable hero to be a symbol, and such a symbol has to be strong in the face of criticism. They can't capitulate to what's easy and popular, especially when such sentiment stands in contrast to what's needed and righteous.

Hawks goes out of his way to pick Endeavor to mold into a leader because Endeavor has that leadership quality--he's not trying to look good in the public eye in every moment. He's consistent and dependable. He has the highest rate of incidents resolved--even more than All Might. Hawks thinks Endeavor is reassuring, that people will follow his lead.

Of course, the good part about the "popularity" component of the ranking is that it keeps people in check. To give an example, there's this concept in my old line of work called independence, which is divided into two things: actual independence and the appearance of independence. It's important for someone in my old position to be independent in fact BUT ALSO in appearance. If people can't TELL you're independent, how much does it help even if you actually ARE independent? The same thing can apply to heroes in terms of public approval. Yes, heroes need to take public approval ratings with a grain of salt, because sometimes doing the right thing is not the same thing as doing what's popular. However, consistently going against the grain without a thought for helping the public understand you, without regard for social mores or others' feelings, will eventually turn the public against you. It's the issue Katsuki had to deal with as he went through his character arc. If the public doesn't trust you, why would they take your hand when you reach out to save them?

Hawks never really goes into anything like what Nagant mentions, and I don't know if Nagant's commentary on heroes who colluded with villains for fame and glory even was a) directly referring to the hero ranking system or b) something that can be resolved by eliminating hero rankings in the first place. That issue seems like a product of fame chasing, not merely public approval, and people will continue to crave the limelight whether or not there's a ranking system. But if people aren't dependent on heroes being the only heroic ones, such as in this new list of everyday heroes Hawks is considering, the existence of fame-chasing heroes doesn't hurt society as much. People won't be depending on heroes to all be perfect and good, they'll support each other, and so the whole system won't be shaken up by the public image of heroes wavering.

As an aside, there's one other funny thing to me about this idea Hawks has.

Hawks is a young upstart, and the fact that he landed this influential political position is quite a shake-up of the status quo. Japan notoriously likes to have things happen in a certain social order, and young people jumping up the ladder ahead of their elders always makes for an awkward dynamic. I do kinda think Hawks is being considerate by not "doing things a little too fast" and completely destroying the old system, because something that radical is not always palatable to the majority opinion, especially when the person advocating for it is as young as Hawks. Just changing a system this much is already a pretty radical step based on my (limited) understanding of contemporary Japanese politics. And I direct you back to my commentary on how Hawks is building on what the older generations have given the next ones. He's always been a character that sat between the older and newer generations like a bridge, so this seems like a decent compromise.

[blackwidowfeminine]

Lilith Square Ascendant Culture

At its core, Lilith represents the repressed, wild feminine—she embodies themes of exile, rebellion, and unyielding independence. When she forms a square with the Ascendant, the person becomes a living contradiction. Their outward identity is constantly clashing with the darker, primal urges that Lilith governs. This leads to an unsettling aura, often creating tension both within and around the person.

Rejection of Social Norms: Lilith square Ascendant people might feel deeply uncomfortable with the traditional roles imposed on them. They could develop a strong need to rebel against societal expectations, embracing alternative lifestyles, subcultures, or controversial beliefs. Whether this manifests as involvement in fringe movements, or standing up against patriarchal systems, they are often drawn to areas that challenge the status quo.

Dark Feminine Energy: Culturally, Lilith represents the untamed feminine—one that refuses to be subjugated. Individuals with this aspect may carry an aura of defiance, especially in matters of gender roles or sexuality. They may align with feminist or gender-equality movements that push against oppressive structures, or they might explore marginalized sexual identities. They tend to be unapologetic about their desires, even when these clash with what’s deemed socially acceptable.

Conflict in Relationships: In relationships, Lilith square Ascendant can manifest as a constant struggle between attracting attention and feeling misunderstood. Culturally, this could place the person in conflict with family values, romantic partners, or traditional customs. Their relationships may often push against boundaries, involving themes of power, control, and freedom. They may be drawn to unconventional partnerships or feel uncomfortable in relationships that conform to societal expectations.

Shadow Work & Self-Identity: People with this aspect often feel the need to explore the darker sides of their personality or culture, delving into topics that others might shy away from, such as death, sexuality, or taboo subjects. They might be interested in goth or alternative subcultures, fascinated by the macabre or the mystical. They are often seen as cultural outsiders, but they take pride in this role. Rather than seeking approval, they find empowerment in owning their shadow self.

Public Perception vs. Inner Truth: Since the Ascendant governs how you present yourself, those with Lilith square Ascendant might struggle with being misperceived by society. They could be seen as provocative or rebellious even when they don’t intend to be. There’s often a gap between their inner desires (represented by Lilith) and how they are seen by others (Ascendant). This can lead to a sense of alienation, but it also fuels a desire to challenge the way society judges them.

Cultural Influence: These individuals might gravitate toward art, music, or literature that explores themes of rebellion, sexuality, and the human shadow. They could be drawn to punk, goth, or other subcultures that provide an outlet for their need to defy cultural norms. Often, they find their voice through artistic expression, using their discomfort with society as creative fuel. Culturally, they may inspire others to embrace their authenticity, especially when it involves breaking free from restrictive traditions.

Dark Aura and Mysterious Persona: People with Lilith square the Ascendant often project an eerie, magnetic aura that others can’t quite place. There’s something offbeat, almost predatory about their presence—not necessarily violent, but unsettling in its intensity. Whether they intend to or not, they can make others uncomfortable, like the feeling of being watched in the dark by something just outside of view.

Magnetism of the Unknown: There’s an attraction to darkness in both the inner and outer worlds. They may gravitate toward aesthetics that are heavy with shadow and death—perhaps drawn to gothic, occult, or macabre themes. Think of a person who feels more alive in cemeteries, or someone who finds comfort in themes of decay and destruction. This doesn’t necessarily make them sinister, but they carry an energy that makes people instinctively cautious.

Manipulation of Image: The person may use this dark energy as a tool, manipulating how others perceive them by leveraging their unsettling presence. They might enjoy the power that comes from making others feel uneasy, using it to keep people at arm’s length or in a state of intrigue. There is often a flirtation with danger in their relationships with others, a silent challenge for people to get close to them—if they dare.

Sexual Power and Control: Lilith governs raw, untamed sexual energy, and when in conflict with the Ascendant, this energy seeps into the person’s public persona. They may exude a kind of dangerous, seductive quality that feels both alluring and intimidating to those around them. Their sexuality is not passive or soft—it’s something primal, charged with the forbidden.

Seduction as a Weapon: There’s a tendency to view sex as a battleground for power and control. They may be adept at using their sexual presence to manipulate or ensnare others, drawing people in with the promise of pleasure while keeping them trapped in emotional or psychological games. This can create relationships that are intense and obsessive, where power dynamics often play out beneath the surface.

Fascination with Taboo Desires: Lilith square Ascendant can indicate an attraction to the darker side of sexuality—fetishes, BDSM, or themes of dominance and submission. These individuals might either indulge in or repress these desires, leading to internal conflict. Regardless of their actual sexual preferences, there’s an aura of transgression surrounding their relationships, as though they are constantly pushing against the boundaries of what’s socially or morally acceptable.

Haunted by the Shadow Self: Lilith square the Ascendant creates a constant tension between how the person wants to be seen and the shadowy urges that bubble up from the subconscious. There’s often a struggle with their own darker impulses—rage, jealousy, revenge—that they may try to hide but ultimately find impossible to suppress.

Inner Turmoil: This person may feel haunted by their darker desires, wrestling with impulses that go against societal norms or their own conscious values. They might find themselves drawn to destructive behaviors or toxic relationships, as if compelled by forces they can’t fully control. In a sense, they are often their own worst enemy, constantly sabotaging their chances at happiness by giving in to their shadow side.

Fascination with Death and the Macabre: There can be a deep fascination with death, darkness, and the unknown. Whether it’s through art, literature, or personal philosophy, they may explore morbid themes that others find disturbing. For them, the line between life and death is thin, and they might be drawn to concepts like necromancy, ghosts, or the afterlife. The idea of confronting mortality head-on feels strangely comforting, as though the darkness holds more truth than the light.

Power Struggles and Alienation in Social Settings: Lilith square Ascendant makes it difficult for these individuals to fit in with mainstream society. There’s a constant feeling of being "other," as though they are exiles from the normal social order. This can lead to a sense of alienation or loneliness, where they are always on the fringes, either rejected by others or choosing to reject society themselves.

Outcast Persona: These individuals may be drawn to subcultures that embrace darkness and rebellion, such as punk, goth, or occult communities. They seek spaces where they can explore the depths of human experience without judgment. However, even within these communities, they might struggle to truly belong, as the tension between their shadow self and public persona can create friction. They tend to be outsiders, even among outsiders.

Attracting Conflict: This aspect often brings power struggles into their social lives. They may attract enemies or rivals, as others instinctively sense their refusal to conform to the expected order. This can manifest as bullying in early life, or later, as dramatic feuds and fallouts with friends or colleagues. Their refusal to play by the rules makes them a target for those who feel threatened by their difference.

Exploration of Dark Archetypes: People with Lilith square Ascendant might feel an internal pull toward embodying darker archetypes, such as the witch, the femme fatale, or the tortured artist. These archetypes hold a kind of twisted power, and embodying them feels like a way to claim ownership over their own darkness rather than letting it control them.

Witch Archetype: There’s often a connection to esoteric, forbidden knowledge. They may have an interest in witchcraft, dark magic, or occult practices, seeking to understand the mysteries of the universe through unconventional means. The witch archetype symbolizes both their power and their alienation, as witches in myth are often outcasts who harness their darkness for personal empowerment.

Femme Fatale: For those who lean into their sexuality, the femme fatale archetype is potent. They embrace their ability to mesmerize and manipulate, using it as a form of rebellion against patriarchal structures. However, this power can be double-edged, often leading to destructive relationships or emotional isolation.

[ohara-n-brown]

I feel like people don't want to accept personality disorders as neurodivergencies because doing so would make us face the fact that they deserve accomodations too.

People with PDs need Accomodations too!!!

Like, yes. People with BPD do legitimately have a different style, context, and understanding of socialization. Just like Autism.

And just like Autism, PWBPD deserve relationship accomodations and their unique socialization style respected.

They may need more attention, or more verbal assurance. Thats accomodation!!

Some people with BPD cannot read nonverbal affection or affirmation. They need it said to them. And being extra clear with them - is accomdation.

Yes, people with NPD may need support, or affirmation, or for you to be clear with your approval, or acknowledge their accomplishments instead of acting like their behavior is expected.

THAT'S ACCOMODATION!!

Like we can understand that Autism and ADHD comes with different patterns of socialization that makes our relationships look different than those of neurotypicals-

So why wouldn't that be the same with them????

I feel like denying people with BPD or NPD or people who are Bipolar their neurodivergency denies them the accomodations they so desperately need.

People with PDs get punished and scrutinized for the way they communicate and their needs in relationships - JUST LIKE AUTISM AND ADHD

Instead of trying to get them to 100% conform to the idea and image of neurotypical relationships can we realize that the people around them will have to meet them halfway in understanding their CURRENT communication style

And that these people are NOT a burden because they require so.

The same as us. Coming to understand an autistic family member or friend means understanding you may need to be clearer, or more direct than with others.

Coming to understand a family member with BPD for instance means understanding you need to direct with affection, motives, and your feelings.

The same is true for all of Cluster B including Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Call them neurodivergent - so we can accommodate them. That way they aren't forced to use coping mechanisms when others around them refuse to acknowledge their needs.

For the love of god stop expecting them to conform 24/7. Stop expecting them to understand everyone else's communication skills when no one does the same for them STOP

GOSH

Like.... Can we give them accomodations now. Can we.

[serene-faerie]

IchiHime & RenRuki AU Week

Day 4: Historical (Regency AU)

London, 1813.

The social season has officially arrived, and the marriage market is in full swing. As the young ladies of the Ton prepare to make their society debuts, there is another new 'debut' into high society that creates waves throughout the Ton.

Renji Abarai, the Viscount of Blackwood, never counted on ever setting foot into high society. Only a few years ago, he was a common-born soldier from the streets of London. But only recently, Renji has discovered that he is actually the illegitimate son of the former Viscount, who died without producing a legitimate heir. However, despite inheriting the Blackwood estate and becoming a nobleman in rank, Renji feels incredibly out of place among the Ton, for he is still very new to high society, and he does not conform to their expectations and finds it very difficult to navigate the intricacies of the upper class. Nevertheless, Renji must take advantage of the social season to find himself a wife so he can consolidate his position among the Ton. With the help of his good friend, Viscount Ichigo Kurosaki of Thornhill, the two of them navigate the balls and soirées of London to find themselves some potential wives.

As luck would have it, Renji encounters a lovely young woman at a ball, with whom he forms an instant connection: Lady Rukia Kuchiki, the younger sister of Duke Byakuya Kuchiki of Cherrybrooke.

Rukia Kuchiki hadn't counted on getting married this season. Though is already out in society, and her brother is trying to arrange an engagement for her, she isn't interested in finding a suitor for herself. Rather, she is helping Orihime Inoue- her best friend and the daughter of an impoverished noble family -in finding a husband. The last thing she expects is to encounter the new, rakish Viscount Renji Abarai of Blackwood. But when Orihime becomes quite taken with Viscount Ichigo Kurosaki, Rukia finds herself intrigued by Renji himself. Despite his reputation as a rake, Renji is an eligible bachelor. And he needs help in adjusting to high society. As the sister of the highest-ranked duke in London, Rukia decides to teach Renji about how to be a proper noble. And so, a tentative friendship begins between Renji and Rukia. As the season progresses, Renji gradually learns the ways of the upper class from Rukia, and they come to find that they have common interests with each other. It isn't long before they begin to fall in love with each other. Rukia comes to love Renji's passionate sincerity, his uniquely handsome looks, and his kind, fiery heart. And only Renji can see Rukia's true self beneath her mask as a lady of the upper class, and he loves her witty jokes, her feisty nature, and her interest in his colorful life. But though their love is true, and Duke Byakuya himself approves of their courtship, there is still a challenge they must face, for one of Rukia's spurned suitors is determined to claim her for himself. But Renji will do whatever it takes to be with the woman he loves, even if it means going against a suitor of a much higher rank than himself.

Meanwhile, Ichigo is in love with Orihime Inoue, the beautiful daughter of an impoverished noble family, who has considerable talent as an opera singer. Orihime is under the sponsorship of the Kuchiki family, and she likes to perform songs at many society events. Her beautiful voice was what charmed Ichigo, and since then, he has begun a courtship with her. Ichigo loves Orihime's singing voice, her genuine kindness, and her sense of humor. Orihime has seen Ichigo for who he is beyond his rakish reputation, and she has come to love Ichigo for his handsome looks, his kind heart, and his interest in theatre. But though they make a wonderful couple together, Orihime's own family scandal could potentially put a damper on any plans of marriage for them.

Can these two couples find a way to get married to the people they love by the end of the season? Or will they become the biggest scandals of the Ton?

[seeingteacupsindragons]

A Reference Post on What It’s Like to Skip a Grade so Y’all Stop Writing the Weirdest Nerd Characters Ever

All right. Let’s start from the beginning, I suppose.

How does this even happen?

I’m speaking here only from an American perspective, because I’m American. Although I did just look it up, and it appears Japan bans skipping a grade at all until the senior year of high school or the senior year of university. Probably for social conformity reasons. I don’t really know. But something to keep in mind, anime fandom. I know you’re following me.

Anyway, back to America (alas). Because the American school system is so decentralized, the requirements/handling of this probably varies from school district to school district so even people in different states might have different experiences. But I have met a grand total of two other people in person who have skipped a grade, and they both did it in different states, and there were actually a fair number of similarities in a lot of ways, so I have at least. A statistically meaningless test group to extrapolate from.

(And I guess my dad, who was briefly promoted a year in early elementary school as well until his Catholic school meant taking First Communion a year early and they punted him back down. We’re not going to factor that in here)

Because grade skipping is extremely rare, for reasons I'm about to get into.

In all three of our cases, the grade skipping did not come from the schools or teachers. They came from our parents.

See the thing is, public school districts…hate doing work. They are mostly not good or caring about their students. They don’t want to have to deal with anything complicated or exceptional. Kids who have disabilities have to be accommodated legally, and they’re still bad at it. Kids who are out-testing their classmates in every area have no legal protection because…uh…why would we have that; that’s absurd.

My school’s proposed solution was to send me a school legitimately five times as far from my home as the one I went to, an entirely unreasonable commute, for their “Advanced” classes. Because that was the district-approved system for this, not promoting kids up a year, and they did not want to have to come up with individualized solutions.

And so my parents fought with them for an entire year about how I needed to be promoted. I remember. Not a lot of this, because I was five (and six, I guess). I remember a lot of days spent in rooms with adults asking me lots of questions about all sorts of stuff. Evaluations on my “intelligence” and emotional maturity. Probably some kind of social worker or therapist or something.

And then they finally agreed to start me the next year in second grade instead of first and enrolled me that way.

My mother promptly told every parent of the "gifted" kids in her preschool classes to do anything but enroll them in my school district because the teachers proceeded to treat me as a built-in tutor for my classmates when I was also supposed to be getting an education.

Okay, but why?

Why did my parents fight for this so hard?

According to them (again, I don’t remember this much and the answer to this is not something I could have remembered), they saw the rate at which I was picking up new things plummet off a cliff. What’s also important here is that I have an older brother and my mother worked in early childhood education (preschool). So my parents knew what a normal development of child development and the rate at which they were supposed to learn things was. And they saw mine drop off suddenly and sharply for no reason.

And, look, my parents did a lot of things wrong, but they were always very protective of my and my brothers’ intellectual development.

They were legitimately scared that school was fucking up my ability to learn in irreparable ways. And…they probably weren’t wrong.

My parents didn’t fight about this for status. Or because they thought I should be recognized for being a bright kid. Or because they thought I could handle it. They were scared for their child. Not because they wanted a smart kid. Because the school was clearly inhibiting my growth as the person I was supposed to be.

But as far as my school district was concerned, it was easier to break someone’s legs to keep them from growing to be a tall poppy in the first place.

So that fixed the problem, right?

Honestly? I don’t think grade skipping is that useful a tactic.

The people I know who skipped a grade all were still put in solid blocks of honors and AP classes. Fundamentally, no system has a way to handle the actual issue, which is that we were picking things up too quickly for the system to accommodate. Skipping a grade might level out the difference for a moment, but if one person is still running faster than the others, they’re going to end up outpacing them again in short order. And they’re not going to keep getting promoted through school grades. Again, schools don’t really like doing this.

Some more catchall admin questions to address before getting into the experience of being promoted

Yes, they did test my emotional maturity when getting promoted, to ensure I could actually handle being a peer with people physiologically older than me. I guess I did well? It’s not just about test scores.

I’m pretty sure no teacher past like second grade or elementary school at the most was actually informed I skipped a grade. Because it just did not matter. Why would they be told this.

I don’t know if there was a record anywhere of this happening in the school files. Probably somewhere? But they fundamentally just. Enrolled me in the grade I was supposed to be in, and that was that. I have no idea how that side of things worked. Again, I was tiny and more concerned about DBZ.

No, I do not remember being emotionally invested in this happening or not. Again, I had DBZ and karate and swimming to care about.

Now then. Let’s get into more character-related stuff

So you’re smart, right? What’s your IQ?

I’ve no earthly idea. If they tested it at any point (unclear if they did), my parents kept that information on “need-to-know basis” and I did not need to know. My dad was tested as a kid and scored….uh. Highly. And became kind of an arrogant dick about it once he had a number. My parents refused to have any of their children IQ tested because they knew we would also test highly, and they were operating on the principle of "having children who are tolerable to be around."

And I don’t care, because IQ is a silly thing that means nothing in the real world anyway.

Quite frankly, this is all primary and secondary school shit and doesn’t matter much in the real world. But people keep writing about it wrong and it’s definitely something that impacted how I grew up, so here I am writing this absurdly long post.

You liked school, right?

Why are kids like this portrayed as invested in school? I’m pretty sure no one really likes things they find boring. School was boring.

I was in fifth grade being stuck off in a room during math class to read the middle school algebra textbooks instead. I read all during class and still got hundreds on tests. Homework was repetitive busywork. I drew and wrote in class and kept getting my art taken away from me or ripped during classes by teachers because I wasn’t paying attention. I kept getting tripped up on those things where we had to take turns reading aloud in class because I was about 20 pages ahead reading on my own.

No, I did not spend time studying. I didn’t need to. No, I didn’t spend time doing homework. Homework was the mind-killer. In college, I went out to dinner with my childhood best friend’s family and her parents asked me if there was anything my parents could have done to get me to turn in my homework because their younger daughter was having the same problem, and I sat there thinking about it for a couple minutes before saying, “No.”

I mean, there were some undiagnosed mental health conditions involved there, but. No.

School was not a challenge, and it was not interesting. I like learning. I like knowledge. I love reading and science and logic puzzles and overthinking things and analysis.

I did not especially enjoy school. I got my bachelor’s and bounced.

But…your teachers liked you?

Kind of split on the subject. Some liked me. Some hated me. Most were constantly frustrated because they knew I understood the material still wouldn’t put in the work to get a decent grade.

I remember correcting my 8th grade social studies teacher on a minor slip of tongue on like my first day of class and him giving me this very particular smile that meant he knew I was going to be That Kid, but he wasn’t upset about it.

Well, but you still did well in school, right?

Enhhhh.

I did well on tests.

But school is, alas, not all tests.

I got mostly Cs because I would never do or turn in my homework and aced the tests. I did best in classes that didn’t grade me on my notetaking, because I did not take notes at all. I didn’t study for my AP tests and still got all 3s and 4s. I was kept up all night before my ACT test and still got a 31. When I was in middle school, I was allowed into a program to allow me to take the ACT and SAT early. I outscored all the averages of college-bound seniors as an 11 and 12 year-old. I could’ve gone to college on those alone.

If it was a test, I did amazingly well because I knew the material and could answer test questions and never got nervous because I knew I’d be fine.

But oh my God, homework.

But what about my straight-laced school-focused nerd character?

Look, those people exist, but those people are not typically the type for whom all of that comes easily. The people I know who skipped a grade all had extremely large, loud personalities that had nothing to do with being a nerd. In fact, one of them got punted from the National Honor Society, because during the Induction Ceremony when everyone was dressed in nice suits and dresses, he pranced across the stage in a hoodie wearing a bright pink fox tail from the Ren Faire pinned to the back of his jeans. He was asked to write an apology letter. He refused. He was punted.

I mean, he was a very immature 15/16 year-old, but we were extremely good friends at the time (I…still thought his behavior was awful even at the time). “Smart” teenagers are…still, y’know, teenagers. I snuck 18+ BL manga home in my backpack to read instead of doing homework, and I was the “responsible” one of my friend group. I read all of Twilight in one Italian class and traded it for New Moon at lunch.

School didn’t take effort, I didn’t need to study, and I wouldn’t do homework. Plenty of time to develop other interests and skills and personality traits. I was basically obsessed with my own writing and drawing and reading and didn’t really give a damn about school.

Graduating early?

I could have done this in high school except that my dad did that and wouldn’t let me. I could have graduated a semester early in college except that my senior capstone was only offered in the spring semester. Anyway, it would have been even weirder to graduate high school as a 16yo instead of a barely 17yo. But I wouldn’t be surprised to see this one, even though I don’t know anyone who did both.

Your classmates, how did they react to this?

One of the reasons my parents wanted me promoted so early is so that it would “even out” as I got older and no one would remember/need to know.

This had mixed results. Obviously all my friends knew, because “how old are you turning this birthday” is like. A thing you tell your friends. So I got picked on a lot for being younger than everyone else. I still do. It’s a very sore spot for me.

In 6th grade, I got asked if it was true that I was only 10. I said no, because I had already had my birthday that school year and was 11. It was like May. But I was 11!

In 2nd grade, when it was all new and fresh, a classmate tried to tell me I would have to take first grade after I 12th grade in order to graduate. Uhh…what? I knew even at the time this was rock stupid because…a 17yo learning how to cut circles, or whatever it is you people do in 1st grade? Also, like, what was the point of skipping if I had to do it later? No sense at all.

People were less impressed and mostly kind of dicks about it if they had to know at all. I did not go out of my way to tell many people.

I did rock school games of “Never Have I Ever” though.

I wasn’t really friends with my classmates. The honors and AP kids in my school district were largely wealthy with like doctor parents or something who went to lower-level schools than I did and all knew each other and were kind of snobs. In middle school, we were divided into “Houses” (yes, really. In America.) and only one house in each grade had honors courses, so that was always mine (they claimed insistently that they were all intellectually equal. Only one house had honors classes. Come on.). My friends were almost never shuffled into it. We got yelled at for not wanting to sit at our “house” lunch table because we were supposed to “spend time with people we had things in common with.”

Yo, principal, I don’t want to sit with people who have the same teachers as me. My friends are over there and I want to talk about YuYu Hakusho and swap the notebooks we were co-writing stories in, not listen to people ask me if I was actually a boy and was I a lesbian, and btw would you like some gum hahaha prank.

So, you know, they reacted like asshats, and I didn’t get along with the “smart” kids in school, mostly.  They were mean to me and I didn’t have hobbies in common.

So the age thing…

Yeah, my friends made pretty much constant jokes about me being younger than them in a mostly harmless way that quickly grew grating anyway. I still get them. I was also the “responsible” “Mom” friend, so add that to the pile of weirdness.

When I was a college freshie and met another freshie in my Japanese class that had skipped a grade, he was so excited to meet someone else who had skipped a grade (same), and even more thrilled when he discovered his birthday was in January and mine was in March, making him finally older than someone in his grade.

There was a lot of heavy sighing on my part, but in good humor, because this guy got it.

I was a college sophomore before I was allowed to even check out a movie at the rental place in my college town (they required you to be 18). I didn’t have my 18th birthday until after spring break of my freshman/sophomore (by credits) year. Which meant my parents were trying to enforce a bedtime and curfew from 5.5 hours away (wonder why I went to school so far away, Mom). I barely scraped out of school old enough to drink to celebrate (I don’t drink anyway, but).

After graduation, it’s mostly a novelty and forgetting to adjust the years I was in school and graduated for other people my age. I have a baby face so people think I look younger than I am anyway. And am younger than people online tend to think I am on top of that. At one of my first jobs out of college, the youngest person on my team who was already there thought I was like 20 and was a little alarmed to discover I was born the same year he was, and in fact, since I was born in March and he was born in May, I was finally older than someone.

Not to mention the fact that I graduated before he did.

So it kind of leaves me a peer group with both people born my year, and people born the two years before me. Both as equals. Obviously at my age they’d be peers anyway, but going back to childhood still puts me in “yes, I remember this the same grade you do.”

It likely had some impact on the way I was expected and almost had to act older/more responsible/more mature than my friend group because I was attempting to make up for being older. It’s probably a lot of just my personality anyway, which apparently I needed to even get promoted.

But that sure as hell didn’t mean I tried in school.

How come you don't talk about this more?

I made a lot of my friends and even my mother very insecure by. You know, existing. As myself. Without really doing anything else. This was partially a grade-skipping thing, partially not. It really gets in people's craws when you're good at something they work hard at and you don't even care. It frustrates people to see someone younger than them do bounds better at something society "cares" about. And it's even worse when you're blithely doing it without even thinking.

It's probably where some of the age jokes came in. A kind of protective measure against being insecure standing next to me goofing off. It's probably why I hate them so much.

Look, I was younger than my friends and still got asked to tutor them in math. Do you think they didn't notice that? Do you think they didn't feel awful about themselves for needing that kind of teaching from me, or that my test scores in middle school beat theirs as seniors in high school.

Because they didn't like that, and I don't blame them. But it wasn't my fault, either.

It's not actually fun to make people you like and care about insecure about things they don't need to be insecure about just by literally being yourself in their presence. In fact, it feels pretty terrible.

So why would I have reminded everyone of this fact whenever I could?

Okay, that’s it for now. Let me know if I missed something or something doesn’t make sense!

[lilithlounge]

Hi! If you’re still doing Lilith readings I’d love for you to do mine! Ty!!

I have Virgo Lilith in the 11th house at 6° Vir 10’

Trine Mercury (5°42’, Applying)

Square Venus (2°20’, Applying)

Quincunx Uranus (2°29’, Applying)

Bi-Quintile Neptune (0°15’, Separating)

Square Pluto (1°38’, Separating)

Parallel Mercury (1°11’)

Contra-Parallel Pluto (0°40’)

I gasped 🐥 i’m so sorry it took me a while ❤️.

Lilith in Virgo 11th House Having Lilith in Virgo means you exude an intoxicating, untouchable perfection, the kind that makes people obsessed with either fixing you or breaking you. You’re the one who never fully submits, and you hold an irresistible mystery because you’re both disciplined and dangerously unpredictable.

Now, throw that into the 11th house, and suddenly, your entire social network, online presence, and friendships become a battleground for Lilith’s chaos and seduction. People admire you, but they also project onto you. They either see you as a guiding light of radical independence or someone they just can’t quite figure out and that drives them insane. You’re the type to draw powerful, obsessive, or rebellious people into your orbit, and sometimes, it feels like friendships turn into lowkey power struggles. You challenge group norms, refuse to conform, and yet? People still want your approval.

Trine Mercury your words are a dangerous elixir, part wisdom, part sin. You can convince, seduce, and destroy with just your voice. You might have a hypnotic speaking style, or people just listen to you differently as if your words carry some forbidden knowledge. You likely have a way with words that both seduces and challenges the status quo.

Square Venus You attract and repel love at the same time. Venus is all about harmony and pleasure, but with Lilith waging war on it, your love life is anything but simple. You might feel like people either idealize you or demonize you, rarely seeing you for who you truly are. Love is intense, complicated, and sometimes taboo. You’re either the object of someone’s deepest desires or their greatest regret or both 💀.

Quincunx Uranus There’s something electrifying about you like you’re always one step ahead of the game, uncontrollable and untamed. You might attract unusual, eccentric people or find yourself in situations where your desire for freedom clashes with society’s expectations. Your sexuality could be unpredictable, one minute craving closeness, the next needing space like your life depends on it.

Bi-Quintile Neptune This is a subtle but powerful aspect that gives you an ethereal, untouchable quality. People project their fantasies onto you, and you might even find yourself playing roles to fit their desires not because you want to, but because it’s easier than correcting their illusions. You have a mystical, otherworldly magnetism that makes people wonder if you’re even real.

Square Pluto Babyyyy, this is intensity, obsession, and raw power. Your presence alone can shake people to their core. Relationships, especially sexual ones are a battlefield, passion, control, and power dynamics run deep. You have a magnetic aura that attracts people who either want to own you or be owned by you. It’s intoxicating, but it also means you’ve probably dealt with control issues in love, deep betrayals, or lovers who just couldn’t let you go.

Parallel Mercury this doubles down on your ability to seduce through speech, text, and thought. Your words aren’t just words, they’re weapons, spells, and invitations to sin. You might write erotically without meaning to or have a voice that draws people in like a siren’s call.

Contra-Parallel Pluto 👀👀👀👀 this is pure, unapologetic power. You’re a walking force of nature, and whether you embrace it or not, people can feel your presence the moment you step into a room. There’s an undeniable darkness and allure about you, making people fear, respect, or worship you, sometimes all three at once????

Useless words from me to you🐥🖤 whether you embrace this power or not, you will never be someone’s second choice.