#often used for like discord server arguments

[vampiremotif]

whats the name of that song people use for video memes thats like classical music that gets increasingly louder and more chaotic?

[sarah-the-bird-nerd]

You Can't Park There

Note: This was suggested in The Pitt Crew discord server and my brain just ran with it

Warnings: Fluff, Fem!Reader, amputee Jack, established relationship, People being assholes in public,no beta.

Summary: Jack has a rough night, which quickly becomes a rough day, only getting worse when someone decides that he's not disabled enough.

More often than not, you forgot that technically, Jack was disabled. He didn't like the label, neither did you, and it wasn't often that his leg was a hindrance. Every once in a while though, Jack would have an awful day, and it usually followed a bad shift, one where he moved non-stop and his prosthetic irritated his stump to the point that when he got home the prosthetic would come right off and he would resort to using his crutches around the house to give his leg a rest. You could tell with one look at him what kind of day he was having, and this morning was no different. It was Saturday, and Jack was just coming off shift with four glorious days off to look forward to. As you did every morning, weekend or not, you got up early to make sure that you had breakfast ready for Jack. It was something that you did to maximize your time with him. You had a regular 9 to 5 office job, and the short window in the morning when he got home and when he got up was precious to both of you.

You were in the kitchen, preparing a steak and egg breakfast, when you heard his truck coming down the long driveway. You had timed breakfast perfectly, moving the food to two plates, a coffee ready for you and for him a beer. Someone would think beer at 7:30 in the morning was wrong, but when you work nights, 7:30 am is your nighttime, and you were more than happy to provide the beer for your husband. You set everything on the table. frowning a bit, as Jack was slow to get out of the truck. Peaking out the kitchen window, you could see him slowly moving, the seatbelt coming off and the driver's side door opening. You couldn't hear the groan he let out, but you know he did, and when he moved around the truck to grab his go bag, you could see the pain in his face, his gait leaning heavily on his left side to take pressure off of his right. You cursed before making a quick dash up the stairs, grabbing his crutches from the bedroom and running back down. You managed to beat him to the porch.

You rested the crutches against the porch swing before meeting him at the bottom of the stairs. He stopped in front of you with a tired sigh. "Bad night?" You didn't need to ask, you just knew, but you always asked, let him vocalize it. He looked down at you with a weary stare before nodding. "Very. I don't think I sat more than 5 minutes all night." You cringed, knowing that despite the facade he tried to have, he often needed to find a moment to take the weight off of his prosthetic for at least 10 minutes every couple of hours. You sighed, knowing better than to lecture him; he was stubborn, and that was just one of the things you loved about him. You moved to his right side, wrapping an arm around his waist for support and started to help him up the stairs.

"Come on, we just have to get you to the swing, we can get that leg off, and you can get some rest. Breakfast is on the table, and once you're done, you're going right to the shower and bed, no arguments." You were firm, knowing that he would argue if you weren't. He was always trying to be the tough one, and over time, you've learned to force him to let you be the tough one for him. Once you got him on the swing, you knelt in front of him. Jack settled back into the swing, stretching his bad leg out for you. Carefully, you removed his prosthetic, setting it to the side and cringing at how irritated it looked. You sighed, patting the side of his leg. "I'll be right back, don't move!" Jack didn't say a word as you stood, dashing upstairs to the master bathroom and grabbed a washcloth, soaking it in cold water before running back downstairs with it. Kneeling back in front of him, you wiped down the area, hoping the cool water would help calm the irritation. Jack hissed, and you weren't sure if it was from pain or the cold. You looked up at him carefully, watching him tip his head back, his eyes closing. You took that as a good sign, gently massaging the area before patting him on the knee.

"You good?" Jack's eyes opened, and he nodded wearily. "Yeah, I'm good." You stood, reaching for his crutches. "Here, I know you hate them, but use them at least until you go to bed, please, give your leg some rest." You picked up his prosthetic, walking away with it so he couldn't put it back on and had to use the crutches. You smirked a bit as you heard him behind you. "Some would consider this abuse!" You turned a bit, watching him move effortlessly on the crutches. "Mhm...I left you the crutches, the courts would disagree" You watched him move to the kitchen before you took the prosthetic upstairs, leaving it next to his side of the bed, knowing it would go back on as soon as he woke up. When you returned to the kitchen, you found him digging into breakfast, beer in hand.

You grabbed your plate and went to move past him to your seat, yelping a bit as his thick arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his lap. "Pretty girls are supposed to sit in my lap." You arched an eyebrow. "Got many girls sitting in your lap then, Dr. Abbot?" He grinned at you, cupping the back of your head and pulling you in for a soft kiss. There was no rushing, it was short, sweet and chaste, him tasting of beer, you of coffee. After pulling away, he rested his forehead against yours. "Only you. Only ever you." You hummed softly. "Better not be, I will take your legs and your crutches and then kick your ass." He chuckled. "See? Abuse!" You smacked his shoulder lightly before leaning against him and slowly eating your breakfast with him, sinking into comfortable silence. Once finished, Jack went up to have a shower while you cleaned up the kitchen, waiting until the shower switched off to start the dishwasher.

You slowly made your way upstairs, arriving in the bedroom just as Jack was crawling into bed, the blackout curtains pulled shut, the police scanner running for some white noise. You leaned over him, giving him a quick kiss. "Did you still want to go shopping with me, or did you want me to just go while you sleep?" Jack shook his head. "Don't you dare go without me. Just get me up around 1 and we'll go." He said as he yawned. "Need to transition to day mode anyway with these four days off." You nodded, leaning to kiss him again before leaving the room and closing the door so he could sink into sleep...or you hoped he did anyway, knowing how awful his sleep was.

—

While Jack slept, you made a shopping list, both for groceries and other little things that you needed, like some new plants, curtains, and whatever else you could think of, you always tried to save all of the shopping for when you both could go, using it to spend time together, once your list was put together you moved about the house, tidying up before curling up on the sofa with a book, getting lost in the fantasy world, only to be jolted out of it aggressively by the alarm that you had set on your phone, ensuring that you would wake Jack up on time. You stretched before placing you bookmark and moving to the kitchen, using your Keurig to make sure that Jack had a coffee waiting when you woke him. Slowly, you made your way up the stairs, his coffee ready on the counter for him once he was mobile. Creeping into the bedroom, you don't know why you're startled when you find him staring directly at you; he's a light sleeper, a consequence of his army days.

"Did you sleep at all?" You asked, leaning over him before shrieking as one of his arms wraps around your waist, pulling you into the bed with him as he rolls you and nuzzles his face into your neck, practically purring. "Got enough, you know me." You did know him, and no matter how exhausted he was, he'd say he needed next to no sleep. You hummed as he kissed his way down your neck before sinking his teeth into your collarbone. You lay there with him, fingers carding through his hair and simply relaxed into him as his hands massaged your hips. "How's your leg feel?" He sighed, his hands tightening on your hips. "Better, not 100% but tolerable." You hummed, trying to gauge just how bad it was because he would always downplay it. He rolls you again so that he's on his back, arms wrapped tightly around you. "Suppose I should get up and dressed so we can get the shopping done?"

—

45 minutes later, you found yourself in Jack's truck, on your way to Costco, his hand in yours and soft rock playing on the radio. The drive was quiet, both of you just enjoying being together for the drive. Jack had put his prosthetic back on before you left, too stubborn to rely on his crutches outside of the home if he could help it. He swore it was fine, but when he pulled into the parking lot and chose one of the handicap spots, you raised an eyebrow. Despite having a disabled veteran license plate, even on his worst days, he tried to avoid parking in these spots; in fact, you could count on one hand the number of times that you had seen him park in one of the handicap spots. He sat still for a moment, sighing before turning to look at you. "Not a word" You shook your head, having no intention to say anything.

You got out of the truck, sunglasses on, purse slung over your shoulder and waited for Jack to come around to your side of the truck, reaching for your hand as he locked the truck and turned towards the store, yelling from about 10 feet behind you stopped you both.

"Hey! Hey! You can't park there!" For a few seconds, you had no idea that he was talking to Jack. People yelling in Pittsburgh wasn't uncommon. You both kept walking until the man yelled again.

"You in the fucking truck! I'm talking to you! You can't park there you piece of shit." You felt Jack stiffen, his hand squeezing yours and a tired sigh leaving him before he turned. You had heard of people doing things like this, seen videos on Youtube, but you never thought that you would see it in person, let alone it be happening to your husband. Jack was calm as he spoke to the man. "Can I help you, sir?"

The man looked him up and down. "You. Can't. Park. There." He said, emphasizing each word. Jack scoffed. "Yeah, you said that. Wanna elaborate?" The man bristled at him. "You're clearly not handicapped, that's a handicap spot." You pulled your sunglasses up, placing them on the top of your head. "His license plate says otherwise. Why don't you mind your business?" The man rolled his eyes at you. "People lie. You can fake a license plate." Your eyes narrowed and you heard Jack sigh beside you again. "Look man, I just did a 12-hour shift in the ER, I don't have the energy for you. How about you just leave us alone?"

"How about you don't take a space someone actually needs?" You had enough, leaning down to pull up Jack's pant leg as Jack looked down at you as if to say 'What the fuck are you doing?' You showed the man just enough to make his eyes go wide. "I assure you, sir, that my husband served this country and has more than earned the right to park in that spot. Now, is this disabled enough for you, or do I need to take his prosthetic off and beat you with it for you to get a clue?"

The man looked startled, apologising sheepishly and thanking Jack for his service before rushing away. Jack could only stare at you as you turned back to him. "What? He had no right! He doesn't know what goes on in your life, on anyone else's!" Jack just shook his head, reaching out to pull your sunglasses down over your eyes and leaned down to kiss you softly.

"That was the hottest thing I've ever seen."

[bumbled-bees]

The Truth About Me

So. It’s time I was honest about something. For those who didn’t already know or hadn’t put it together—I’m Hato. Yes, that Hato. The one from Lily’s old Discord server. The one she used to hold up as a loyal fan, depending on the day. The one she turned on, of course, as she inevitably does to anyone who shows too much independence.

I left Lily’s circle a long while ago. And no, it wasn’t some big dramatic fallout. It wasn’t a blow-up or an argument or anything juicy. It was a slow realization. A pattern I couldn’t ignore anymore. A hundred little moments that didn’t sit right until they couldn’t be waved away. And once I saw it—I mean really saw it—I couldn’t unsee it. The cruelty. The hypocrisy. The manipulation. The double standards. The blatant, often weaponized misuse of terms like “boundaries” or “accountability” to shut down even the mildest criticism. The refusal to ever take the high road.

That’s why I started this blog.

People always ask me how I know so much about how Lily operates. Why I can predict her moves before she makes them. Why I notice the little rhetorical tricks, the repeated behaviors, the same stories with different coats of paint. It’s because I was there. I watched it happen. I played the game, until I couldn’t anymore.

I know how Lily keeps people close—love bombs them, flatters them, makes them feel like they’re in on something special. I also know how quickly she turns when you stop echoing her word-for-word. I’ve seen how she encourages people not to ask questions. How she reframes genuine concern as betrayal. How she always paints herself as the victim, even when she’s the one who hurt people. Even when she’s done it over and over again.

This blog wasn’t made for revenge. It wasn’t made to “take her down.” I’m not here to speculate about her personal life or start drama. I’m here because I’ve seen firsthand how easy it is to get pulled in, how subtle the pressure can be, and how hard it is to explain to people on the outside why you stayed as long as you did. And I wanted to make something that breaks that down. Piece by piece.

I’ve had people send asks thanking me because they were starting to feel the same discomfort and couldn’t put it into words until they read something here. That’s why I do it. Because I know the playbook. Because I recognize the cycles. And because, frankly, no one else was documenting it this way.

So yeah. That’s the truth. I’m Hato. I used to be close to Lily. Now I’m just someone who’s choosing honesty over silence. And I’m not going anywhere.

[yourfaveisintersex]

asking from a place of humility and genuinely wanting to know better/more, what does better care for intersex people look like? what actionable items can those of us who aren’t as directly affected by medical intersexism push for to increase quality of life for intersex people? if i were to have a child who came out intersex, are there safety plans i could put in place with our birth care team to prevent my baby from suffering genital mutilation? i don’t want my allyship to start and stop with “ur valid uwu,” i want to really meaningfully help intersex people, and i just feel lost on where to even start. i have really mild PCOS and aside from having more masculine features and some pain from cysts i otherwise function as a perisex person, but i want to do more to help.

(i also don’t mean to act like you the operator of this blog specifically have all the answers, i’m very open to hearing the opinions of other people, you just came across as knowledgeable and i thought you might possibly have some insight.)

Hoohkay this is gonna be a long one, especially because I asked for some help from InterACT's Discord server InterSpace to make a comprehensive answer! I'm also going to tag @interactyouth and @dhddmods as recommended by 'em for you to possibly check out, the first being... well. Duh. It's THE intersex youth advocacy group in the US of A, and the latter because I was told they're really passionate about ending all forms of IGM— and doing general activism. Hope y'all don't mind!!

Here's some more InterACT specific resources before I start getting into the meat & potatoes under a cut, to fill this out a little and make sure in case I miss anything, you might find it in any of these links.

Advocating Health Equity for Intersex Individuals by the HHS (link), hosted by InterACT as Trump's administration has removed it from the HHS's website

The Fight Must Include Intersex Rights brochure (link)

Know Your Rights: A Guide For Parents (link)

InterACT Legislative Toolkit (link) — In regards to legislation, InterACT recommends you work with an organization instead of doing so independently, as they've been doing it longer knowing the right arguments, and you can get the right context and support from an organization.

Obligatory "PLEASE add onto this post if you have something you want to share" especially because anon invites others' opinions, and I do too because I'm not a monolith nor do I know everything.

Claps my hands together, alright! Now that those have been dumped, let's get into a more personal answer, what I would say.

BODILY AUTONOMY! A LOOOOOOT OF ADVOCACY FOR BODILY AUTONOMY!! Would probably be my first point. It's something that's often ignored or disrespected in intersex populations, whether that be IGM as mentioned, but also just being able to choose what treatment you do or don't get. This should not only be applied to intersex people too, as this overlaps with those who are disabled and or have chronic illnesses (or anyone else who deserves a say in their medical treatment, which might as well be everybody!), especially when less-educated people believe most if not all intersex variations are disorders, and "disorders need to be fixed".

And in lieu of that bodily autonomy bit and choosing your treatment, I have a personal note that I believe people should be able to choose their hormones— both transgender and intersex people, or hell people not of either group and just want a different hormonal profile for whatever reasons. It's depressing that people assigned female are forced on estrogenizing treatments and assigned males forced on androgenizing treatments even if it makes them feel physically miserable, with no choice unless you do some finaggling about it or you go through the rigamarole of gender-affirming HRT treatment, IF that's even possible in your locale! I vividly always recall an intersex person on here, dabwax, how she was rejected on testosterone BY A NON-BINARY DOCTOR because she identifies as a cisgender woman, and had to struggle to get postmenopausal testosterone medicine. That's not okay, and shouldn't happen to anyone!

As another point to help, DO NOT SHUT UP ABOUT INTERSEX EXISTENCE!! We are often pathologized as mentioned above, as being disordered, broken, in need of "fixing" (which just means looking as perisex as possible). Or people spreading falsehoods on what intersex is. Learn what common misconceptions and stereotypes are and challenge them! Challenge the use of the H-slur and fu-slur, challenge the "um actually intersex people prefer DSD and are still male or female" TERF brainrot! Be loud and be an asshole about your advocacy and make people aware WE EXIST! (and you exist too. you'd be welcome into the InterSpace server for your PCOS as a variation (yes, even if its mild) and they could help you more with advocacy if you'd like 🫶 I link the discord server in my FAQpost!)

The more people know about intersex existence in its truth the more people who can fight for our rights, to not have our bodily autonomy violated as patients, to challenge false assumptions about others' bodies, to have more people realize they may fall under the catagory of intersex (because a lot of intersex people don't know it, even if they have a diagnosis, due to the pathologizing of intersexuality as a "problem needing to be fixed" and the sheer erasure of it), to BELIEVE OUR VOICES AND OUR EXPERIENCES AND NOT DISMISS US!! which is honestly another point to be brought up because oh my god perisex people erase and dismiss us so fucking much it's Unreaaalll you correct someone about their intersexism and they get mad at you like YOU'RE the unreasonable one. Like stop using AGAB as progressive versions of male or female. Stop that. Annoys the shit out of me AGAB doesn't inherently imply someone's body parts or life experiences I keep correcting people on it and they get pissy at me if I keep seeing people do that I'm gonna go crazy insane PLEASE call more people out on these misconceptions and not let people brush off intersex folks as an afterthought pleaseplease please

[self-loving-vampire]

Something I already knew years ago but which multiple recent arguments illustrate neatly is that people have extremely inconsistent and frankly thoughtless standards for what constitutes systemic issues vs what is simply isolated interpersonal nastiness.

For example, there's this whole thing where sufficiently visible trans women on the internet are often accused of being dangerous child molesters by randos for essentially no reason. This is a real thing, and I have even seen it happen over something as minor as having an anime avatar at all. It's correctly identified as a type of transmisogyny.

But then those same people will see discussions about cishet men experiencing all kinds of physical violence for being too "feminine" and etc. and say that doesn't count. That's not a systemic issue. That's not transmisogyny the way your rancid discord server pedojacketing you is.

Or now an even more visible example. An anon brings up "teachers may think girls are stupid" while trying to describe male privilege, which doesn't even seem to match the stats we have on academic performance but whatever.

Then after responding on the same level (and also bringing larger issues such as biases in the justice system) what is presumably a different anon argues that I am "misunderstanding" the idea of privilege by treating it as an interpersonal thing instead of a matter of systemic oppression.

But I am simply responding to the way people used the word previously, which is to describe a lot of their interpersonal issues in addition to systemic problems. Pretty much everyone who uses the word does that.

For example, one checklist on male privilege includes things like this:

(Yeah, a lot of these seem to treat abusive women like an abstraction that pretty much never materializes in real life.)

Why is "strangers in the bushes may rape you if you walk out at night" or "your friend group may turn on you over a callout post" treated like a systemic issue but stuff like "your family/neighbors/classmates/etc. may beat you up if you look gay" or "people at every level of society are more likely to see you as a threat" is not?

[sparkleleecutie]

"this isnt the first time ive seen a therapist gassing up a terminally online patient to post something online because other people don't understand"

see i actually know what happens in these situations. it isn't that they are LYING about specific things therapists say, or that they 100% are lying/leaving out information when telling stuff to their therapist. the issue is they are coming away with the completely wrong takeaways.

example: kittycorn: "people are wrong about me online and continuing to make up lies to me based on what ex friends have lied about and it's really upsetting to me, i don't like being misunderstood"

therapist: "while that is true and it bothers you its important to note that not everyone knows the exact same information you do. you know these are lies, other people dont.

what the therapist means and has likely elaborated upon: "...which is why you should not run yourself ragged trying to disprove every lie about you ever as that will often not work, and it will also stress you the fuck out and keep bringing the drama up leading to more bullshit being made up"

what kittycorn took away from it somehow: "so i should go online and assemble a discord server full of groomers and pedophiles, create a whole blog dedicated to indirectly infodumping all my health conditions and traumadumping about all of my mental health problems, and involve minors who I had an unhealthy power dynamic with because they looked up to me as much as they did by roping them into my incest fetish so i can once and for all prove that im in the right !!!"

i see it all the time with terminally online people being like "well my therapist said i should feel free to make vent art and stories reenacting my trauma and its healthy to process my traumas!" and im like. well. did your therapist also say you should post that all over social media and get into arguments about your vent art for weeks. because i imagine if you told them about that part they would tell you to log the fuck out. the core message the therapists tell these people is usually good and makes sense in context, the problem is they have decided to then build upon that and use it for justification for the unhealthy behaviors they want to continue. i have no idea why they do this and if they are aware they should not fucking do this. but it is what happens. maybe they should consider actually listening to everything their therapist says and not just tuning out everything that they cant use as a justification for toxic terminally online behaviors. but if they could just do that i don't think we would have this problem tbh

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making a YouTuber feel uncomfortable? 

Here me out please, before you all make assumptions. 

A couple months ago, I(19F) began following a YouTuber that I quickly began to love. I won’t be saying the YouTuber’s name for the sake of protecting their privacy, obviously. I started to watch their videos(which were mainly about a story that she came up with, featuring her ocs) and enjoyed them all, enjoyed the ocs, too. This YouTuber is a relatively unpopular one, but not so unpopular that they’re obscure or completely unheard of, they’re just not one of the big names in the YouTuber community. I made a few amazing friends due to us being in the same fandom and both enjoying this YouTuber’s content. One day, I decided to write a fanfic for this person’s story featuring her ocs. I uploaded the fic to AO3 and made sure to credit the YouTuber with creating these amazing ocs. I then showed it to my few friends, who all loved the fanfic. However, one day I made the mistake of showing the fic to a mutual friend(now an ex-friend but that’s a topic for another discussion) that me and the YT both share, and she sent the fanfic to the YT without my permission. Now before y’all get up in arms, I didn’t mind at all that she had sent it to the YT, in fact, I actually wanted the YT to see. However I really wish that she had asked me first, because I would have been more than happy to show it to them! Unfortunately, a few days after I sent it to her, my other friend(let’s call her M) showed me an announcement the YT made on her Discord, in which she complained about people writing fanfictions of her ocs and “using” them in her stories without her permission. She also stated that she felt like she was losing control of her story when other people wrote fanfics of it, and that whoever wrote the fanfiction “didn’t understand boundaries”(even though she didn’t have this boundary before and also wrote in the announcement that she used to be okay with fanfics of her work, but now no longer is). I deleted the fanfic the moment I saw the post from my friend, but I was a bit disappointed since I never meant to make her feel uncomfortable and only wanted to show my love and appreciation for her story, and possibly get more people to check out her story as well. Still, I deleted the fanfic from AO3. 

Now, here’s where things get interesting. A while later, I joined the YouTuber’s Discord server, where I met many people that I got along quite well with and quickly befriended. I often engaged in conversations with them about the story, and often drew fanart of my favorite character and posted it to the art channel in the server(she’s okay with fanart of her ocs, just not fanfics). Now is probably a good time to mention that while I was in the Discord server(and even before that) I often talked about the story with my friend on Tumblr(not M, these are two separate friends) who did not have Discord but loved the story just as much as I did. We often talked about the story and how much we enjoyed it, and often came up with jokes and headcanons, basic stuff like that, that any fan would do. Anyway, back to the Discord, one of the rules of the server was not to be disrespectful or rude or malicious towards other people, and another was that if you received two warnings about your behavior in the server then you would be quickly banned from the server and no longer allowed to come back. I understood this and tried to conduct myself to the best of my ability. However, one day, I found myself mysteriously unable to access the server, and when I tried to rejoin, I was again unable to. I found out that the reason I couldn’t access the server was because I had been banned due to “disrespectful behavior”, “engaging in arguments”, and making the YouTuber(who ran the server) uncomfortable. I was confused, because I genuinely don’t remember ever engaging in rude behavior with anyone. The few instances(according to them) in which I had been allegedly rude or disrespectful to people were both genuine misunderstandings, and both times I had apologized for them and did not repeat the behavior. I also did not receive any form of warning before being banned, despite one of the rules being that you will receive two warnings before being banned from the server. Still, I apologized for my alleged hostility and asked if I could come back, however the YouTuber said no, and went on to add that not only was I rude to people in the server(which, again, were both genuine misunderstandings), but that she had seen my Tumblr conversations with my friends in which I talked about her story, and said that she was “wildly uncomfortable” with how “obsessive” I was with it as well as my favorite character in the story. This bewildered me to no end because the YouTuber did not have Tumblr and had never once ever mentioned being on or having access to Tumblr, so I did not expect her to see my posts(and even if she did, I did not expect to get banned for them as they do not violate the rules of the server). It made me wonder why she didn’t just talk to me and explain to me that she was uncomfortable with me posting about her work instead of just banning me altogether and not giving me a chance to defend myself. I ended up sadly and reluctantly deleting all of my posts relating to her story, and requesting my friend to do the same. I told M about this scenario, and she was enraged on my behalf, saying that the YouTuber probably was actually upset about my having written a fanfic for her ocs, and said that she didn’t understand me being called obsessive because I acted like a normal fan would(which I agree with). Some of my other friends have sided with me as well and told me that the YouTuber was acting petty, however some of my friends have taken a middle ground. None of them entirely condemned me, but that may just be because they are biased and don’t want to hurt my feelings. The mutual friend/now ex-friend(of course) merely told me to “self-reflect” and move on from the story. Regardless, the YouTuber now has me blocked, not just on Discord, but on Instagram as well, where I also reside. 

Reasons why I think I might be the asshole: I will admit that I have a tendency to really hyperfixate on things and get especially attached to fictional characters that I adore and resonate with, so I can see why that would make them uncomfortable. That being said… 

Reasons why I think I might not be the asshole: I genuinely wasn’t trying to make this wonderful YouTuber feel uncomfortable or be “obsessive” with the story. I merely wanted to show my appreciation for it in a way that I thought was normal for online fans, which included writing a fanfic, drawing fanart, and geeking out about the story with my friends(admittedly publicly). I had no idea that these actions would turn the YouTuber off, and merely wanted to show how much I enjoyed the story. I also was never rude to anyone in the server and apologized whenever a misunderstanding rose up. I never tried to be aggressive with anyone or cursed anybody out or tried to have arguments with people, so I have no idea where that came from. 

So, what say ye, oh wise people of Tumblr? Am I the asshole or not?

What are these acronyms?

[cdroloisms]

read your post about how the atmosphere in dreblr feels a little tense nowadays. honestly when i first joined this fandom i was excited to share takes/meta but i dont do it much anymore cause of how intense ppl get when they disagree… wasnt prepared for that level of intensity

i have to say that my experience with this fandom and your experience with this fandom are ... probably pretty different 😅 (not that i know for sure, of course, so sorry abt any inherent assumptions to when you joined the fandom, i've just been here for damn near forever) and that that'll color my perspective on this, so. fair warning in advance.

to be honest, disagreement in dreblr is not a new thing. when dreblr was created there were two main "camps" of c!dream apologism that disagreed on pretty much everything to do with c!dream after novermber 16th and would write essays debunking each other's takes pretty goddamn often. here's an old post by red responding to a lot of opinions on both sides of the line which i think illustrates this well -- note the difference established between "c!dream apologists" and "c!dream enthusiasts," perhaps better known now as the "trauma interpretation" and "strategist interpretation" of c!dream back before the confirmation of staged finale during the prison break, which shows how different people's opinions of c!dream ranged at dreblr's very conception. and this disagreement ran pretty damn deep, too, lmao--some of it was reserved to debating each other in semiprivate discord servers, but plenty of it was made of vagueing each other's takes or directly debating them on each other's blogs.

i think that a source of friction, to be honest, is that dreblr started as a much more analysis- and meta-focused community than it is now. the entire dsmp fandom was very analysis-heavy in 2021-2022, and dreblr definitely reflected that culture; since the dsmp ended, the amount of active discussion about it in a meta sense has also waned, and as such dreblr and many other areas of dsmp fandom have been more focused on other kinds of fanwork. this isn't a bad thing, of course! but it has led to a shift in etiquette, and while i think meta etiquette and fanwork etiquette are very. very different things, obviously the amount of fanwork and the amount of meta that's around in dreblr spaces influences how people interact with all parts of dreblr etc etc that's just how people and communities work

but back to my point. disagreement has always been a part of this fandom, especially in meta spaces (which used to be pretty much all of dreblr, but has kind of become more of a small part of it in more recent times) and intensity with those disagreements also is kind of ... on par for the course? i mean, personally, i think disagreements ran more intense in dreblr in 2021 on average--it's not like dreblr has been as sharply divided with different "versions" of c!dream apologism since--and when it comes to the general fandom, well, any look at the inbox of anyone posting c!dream positive analysis and the formation of dreblr as a whole speak for themselves. also IFUADA and the whole attempt to like, lmanburg us out of our own house. which was hilarious btw that shit was awesome

like, at the end of the day, meta is made to be a place where people are gonna disagree. and a lot of people in meta spaces find it fun to disagree, even; there are more than a few people who will devil's advocate an argument they don't even agree with just for the sake of disagreement and debate. fandom analysis is just ... like, fandom academia lite, and it's also far less beholden to the rules of professionalism in real academia (not that real academia is free of conflict, obviously. including extremely petty conflict, as anyone who has read enough passive-aggressive as shit academic papers will tell you). this isn't to say that things don't go too far, because again, the history of this fandom proves it LOL. but while we all want people to feel comfortable in meta spaces, we also want meta spaces to be a place for people to be passionate about their opinions and to disagree about them fervently and to debate to their heart's content, bc that's kind of the point of fandom meta, yk?

in my post, i mentioned that i think more open disagreement will be good for dreblr, and i do stand by this point; i think that there's no real point in trying to stamp out disagreement in a space meant to be a free place for people to disagree and express their disagreements, not that that's what you're saying or anything just as a general thought. i also think that more disagreement will help with there feeling like there's less of a "correct" way to think about c!dream and the server, which i think raises the barrier of entry for people who want to post meta but don't want to be eviscerated bc they said something "wrong." of course, i can't force anyone to post meta nor do i want to--hell, i want to post more meta but am limited in time, and i know we all live busy lives 😭 (which is part of why this ask is being answered so late, sorry!) -- my point is i dont think, idk, one person being passionate abt a take or disagreement or whatever is necessarily the problem as far as upping the tension in dreblr as much as like. there's a lot of general discomfort and a lack of willingness to rock the boat in a place which should be a safe waters for everyone to take shots at any ship (er, ship to follow up with the rock-the-boat metaphor, but the secondary meaning does apply here as well) they want. we're shooting with water guns, not real bullets, and there's no fun in a splash fight if everyone's too scared of getting someone else wet, i guess.

that being said, anon, i understand that not everyone wants to participate in the free-for-all take pvp that is inherent to meta spaces...to which i say that, honestly, there's no requirement to participate in analysis spaces specifically to just, share your thoughts on the server. i think that in general, if anyone posts their thoughts on the dsmp and adds a disclaimer to the top like "not really analysis, just miscellaneous thoughts that i would prefer not to be vagued/argued against," i really just don't think that most people are gonna go out of their way to argue with that? you have every right to just yap while opting out of the possibility of being vagued or debated with, but you might have to make it clear beforehand bc vagueposting and debating is just the culture that exists in meta/analysis spaces, especially dsmp meta/analysis spaces that have been a part of dreblr since dreblr was made. and if there's anything else that can be done to make everyone feel more comfortable, i think that's worth discussing!

[coffeegnomee]

lifesteal spoilers

about Kab's manipulative villain/wet cat 2 sides, I 100% agree with you, it currently just feels like a bit loose with which direction she wants to go with and honestly it could go either way.

Since at the end of the day, the streams will be edited into videos, and from the knowledge of Kab's first lifesteal video (and her other videos), some of the behind the scenes knowledge(like discord messages) or deeper inner thoughts are mentioned and or revealed even though it hasn't been shown on stream (wont go into detail here, just stating the point). So there is a chance that she IS playing the manipulative villain that you imagined and internally thought to not show it at all to stream audience, just to reveal that's what she had been doing the entire time in the video. And that's why I think the narration of her video is the ultimate deciding factor of her character, whether she is the secret big villain or a wet cat that tries to be one.

Also, on the topic of wet cat, since the season started, she always have and developed even more insecurities on her skills(both pvp and non-pvp) and trusting other people. Through multiple people, she already experienced lifesteal more than some of the other new members(also bacause of play time but), and it makes sense that she would become more vulnerable and a wet cat since she felt a lot of things go out of control and often felt lost and loss. Even with that, she is in a place where she still needs to find herself a comfortable position on the server, and I just think she still needs to learn to have a proper relationship and understanding with people without having the anxiety from her already established lifesteal trauma getting in the way. From what ive seen, she tends to get more desperate when things start to turn and not everyone is fine with that(some might even see that suspicious when it's just unintentional). Seeing recent events I think she's getting closer and closer so I hope she reaches a comfortable position to do whatever direction she wants to go with this, I'm still watching anyways

Last thing, I think her reputation plays quite a bit on how others treat her. Throughout the season, there are multiple occasions where when other lifestealers discuss anything about Kab, they would bring up "Kab's thing is manipulation". Multiple people from seperate teams even, said something similar and it just strikes me as most people that are aware of this reputation would already have a tendency to avoid her and those who interact with her will be wary and be on guard to not fall for her tactics(example: Mapicc does not trust her at all, even in the entirety of their alliance against Mane and this is the first reason he gave). With this reputation, she already has a hard time getting people to even try to trust her, so it renders her manipulation skill even harder to put into practice, especially in this long term server.

(lowkey don't know if my thoughts are consistent here, just sprinkling some ideas, crossing my fingers, and hope it won't be too much of a mess)

I mean, yea, the video will solidify what she was intending for her character. But it is 100% a manipulative villain, it'll just be how she spins the tale. The sopping wet cat is a classic of her videos and is used to get the one up on the other person. (which is also why i find it irksome for her to keep doing it to chat)

but as a stream-first, usually-stream-only, consumer of the story of lifesteal the fact remains that she's mashing it up all over the place without any clear lines. And that creates, imo, a very difficult character to sympathize with, and that's without the triggering argument style. With the ableism and triggering I just flat out hate her character and that hate would feel better if she balanced it with to-chat on-camera villainy.

But it is the fate of a first season new member to not know if they can trust chat, not know how to make an unscripted live character, to be faced with their literal skill tree of abilities being put to the actual test (and for kab, in an environment where everyone is a liar and manipulator) and to generally be all over the place. I am very interested to how she will be s7 because one full season usually helps a ton. But unfortunately until then she still exists in the story, she still exists in relation to Zam's story who has a lot of practice at making an unscripted live stream character, in relation to mapicc who has his own thoughts about how the server works and what merits death that she just doesn't understand, in relation to ash and clown and everyone else that has shocked her and scared her with their choices.

Realistically- no ok realistically if i'm being honest with myself and think for half a second about the shit she says on camera i only hate her character. and I hate especially how trapped she's made, specifically zam but also everyone, for like, tormented if i kill you, tormented if i don't.

But realistically she simply exists in this story exactly as she is. Which is all everyone else is on this server. No matter what they do they affect the story; being there, not being there, saying this, keeping that secret.

And honestly, her story is creating a really really fascinating, if incredibly difficult and painful, story for Zam. Which sucks and makes me feel emotions that I didn't want to be feeling. Is that good? Is that bad? idk but it is lifesteal.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

at what point do you think valid criticisms of any work turn into forced arguments and cheap talking points? i've noticed this is becoming a pattern in many fandoms and irdk what's going on lol

oh I mean I think it’s pretty cut and dry. it’s when those talking points are clearly in service of some other agenda. and it often is pretty easy to sniff out that ulterior motive.

in grishaverse fandom the most fervent pearl clutching about how leigh bardugo hates minorities and women and probably kicks puppies for fun is easily connected back to darkling apologia circles. suddenly it’s a heinous moral crime to end a fantasy series with an intact monarchy (as opposed to… a democracy?) or with a world that is realistically still pretty awful!

there is a lot to reasonably critique in those books. they’re not good! but when the unspoken common thread of every single point of criticism someone has is that the entire book should affirm their blorbo… well it’s obvious they’re thinking blorbo first, and constructing arguments around that.

similarly, like a couple years ago I was rewatching inuyasha— which has some crazy ship wars lol— and joined a couple discord servers. in one where everyone shipped the protagonist and like a minor antagonist (sesskag) they were all talking about how creepy the more popular antagonist ship was (sessrin), which like. I actually agreed with! my tolerance for age gaps only goes so far 😭 but the conversation had the weirdest undertone because, again, there’s the same element of the separate critique just being used as an argument in support of their preferred ship. it’s like, “the sessrin age gap is creepy! (therefore sesskag are meant to be)”

if it sounds like people don’t actually care about the thing they’re critiquing, and they only want to score points for their blorbo, ship, whatever, that’s when I stop listening

[prismaticpichu]

hi pichu!!! :3

silly ask here! out of all the firsts + zc, who do you think is the mostly likely to be a discord mod LMFAO

personally, I'm placing my bets on Genesis because there is NO WAY this man has never called someone "m'lady". it's canon he told me this in a dream /j

do you see the vision LMAOO

Shshshshshshhd I SEE THE VISION LMAOOO 🤣❤️ Golden doodle as always, Soggy! 💕😂

~

AGSZC as Discord Mods!

Angeal (aka, @AngealHewley999) - Extremely ultra-sensitive to anyone and anything that can be even remotely taken as offensive. Insists that everyone in the server uses “family friendly” nicknames and WILL knock you senseless with the ban hammer should you join with the username (and this is just an example) “SephirothisnotasgoodasGenesis45”. All emotes under his moderation can and WILL be ones that promote positivity and well-being, are SFW, and have nothing to do with guns and/or a cute character holding one with an evil smirk on its face. He also banned the VC.

❌

Genesis (aka, @ThatOminousApplePie) - Extremely under-sensitive to anyone and anything that can absolutely be taken as outwardly offensive. Often instigates arguments between members and will do nothing at all to try to put either party in time out. He has been recorded to place bets based on which person will leave the server first—then proceeds to pour said betting money right back into Discord Nitro, allowing him to boost to the server to the levels necessary to add violent emotes and “hilarious” stickers. He will also change your username (multiple times) against your will.

❌

Tho your bet is totally valid, Soggy xDD

Sephiroth (aka, @YesI’mtheRealSephiroth11119) - He’s more of a MuTube kinda guy. Doesn’t even care to spend his time on a digital platform when he can just slap Genesis in the face talk to his best friends in person. Voluntarily rejects offer.

❌

Zack (aka, @PupEmUp!) - Contrary to popular belief, Zack is actually quite responsible on Discord! <33 Knows all the ins-and-outs of good social media etiquette, will not tolerate bullying for a nanosecond, and is more than open to a good ol’ laugh with some gun-pointing Tonberries as emotes! He’s the most adept when it comes to banning/timeouts—even remembering to leave respectful explanations in the description of each ban when necessary. Just an all-around wonderful user who knows how to get the job done!~

…

That is, all of this is in OTHER servers, of course. No one in the SOLDIER friend circle actually trusts Zack not to transform the server into anarchy, thus resulting in Cloud (aka, @NimbusDriver) taking the crown as moderator <33

[ailesswhumptober]

All About Us! -->asks are currently open<-- AI-less Whumptober 2024 Prompts

-->Our Discord<--

~Who are the Tumblr Mods?~ Mod Missy: She/They, Writer --will sign >Mod Missy when answering questions Mod Radio: They/It, Artist --will sign >Mod Radio when answering questions

Mod Shae: They/Them, Writer --will sign >Mod Shae when answering questions ~Some Frequently Asked Questions~

Q:Why did you make a separate Whumptober? A: We noticed the usual Whumptober has taken a strange stance in regards to AI, particularly a non-stance that doesn't seem to discourage AI usage in the way we and some others were hoping. This included saying AI had a place in writing as well as art, and saying defending against it was going down on an already burning hill. We disagree with this wholeheartedly. (read this for more info) Q:What is AI-less Whumptober? A: Well, it's basically Whumptober...But with a firm stance against AI content. AI-less Whumptober will essentially function the same, with a list of prompts every day for the month of October, with the difference being that we actively disavow AI content and discourage it strongly

Q: What's so bad about AI?

A: AI in itself is a theft. It works off of cannibalizing other people's works, often without permission, and it CANNOT be used without this theft. The argument that you can just train it on your own work is entirely false, as even then with the AI apps used it compares, contrasts, and includes work that is plagiarized and stolen from artists and writers alike. It is also downright terrible for the environment. AI IS NOT AN ACCESSIBILITY TOOL! Q: Okay, but is AI really that bad though? A: Yes, yes it is. here are some links. > the negative impacts of AI art on Artists >The Intellectual Property Problem

>AI in the publishing world: Are AI novels theft? >ChatGPT: The fight against AI Q: Do you have to post every single day? A: Nope! You can post any of the days you'd like. You can bounce around and do 10 different ones, or just 1, or all 31! If you're posting content you made under the hashtag #AIlesswhumptober2024, congratulations, you've participated in AI-less Whumptober! Q: Can I post NSFW? A: Absolutely! Just please keep everything under the read more, otherwise known as the cut. NSFW content will not be allowed in the Discord server. Q: Can I post OC content? A: Yes! AI-less Whumptober is a multi-fandom event that can include different fandoms or original content Q: Will your list of prompts be different from the regular Whumptober? A: Yes. The mods of AI-less Whumptober have come up with the 31 different prompts, as well as a few extras in case the theme of the day just isn't vibing with you! 3. How do I protect my work from AI?

Glaze is a great tool for protecting the art that you post, made by the awesome people at University of Chicago. As for writing, we're looking at finding solutions for this. We're open to suggestion! -->Our Discord<--

[bananasfosterparent]

I'm gonna be real, I'm very worried that Larian is going to try & make AA even more overtly the "bad choice" in their next patch (they promised some epilogue animations). I just really don't understand why the antis have to be so obnoxiously loud telling a company to change THEIR game because of a way they choose to interpret something. Isn't the whole point of an RPG that you're allowed to craft a narrative around the narrative-- but to pressure the writers into editing their hard work because they "don't like it" is just so,,,,..ugh

I just wish people would stop infantilizing the crap out of Astarion as a character. They give him all these sweet HC when half of them are just Wyll.. Like the "I can fix him" complex has rotted our society

Honestly? I'm not worried about it at all.

Mostly because I don't think Larian cares lmao At least, not in that way.

Get ready, it's 1am, I had my meds, and had some caffeine, so here comes ramble :D

They want to please their fans, and while spawn fans make up a majority of the Astarion side of the fandom, and there may be (speculated) peices in place to make AA seem worse in-game with these updates....I honestly don't think Larian as a whole cares enough to join in on the one-sided righteousness battle.

They made this game for the purpose that most AA fans (at least, ones I know) use it for: roleplaying, as you pointed out. And I'm very sure they aren't blind to just how one-sided the discourse is.

For example, on the official Larian Discord server, AA fans voiced their opinion on the Tav/Durge expressions in the new AA kisses. And from what I saw, the opinions were presently respectfully and with the roleplay experience in mind. How the expressions aren't ideal for evil roleplay. But after that, the same suggestions thread got clogged with anti-AA players begging Larain to "not destroy the narrative" they've apparently been telling and to not listen to us "delulu" AA fans. And the threads were locked by a mod and cleaned up, to "prevent bullying". I think Larian sees clearly who is focused on quality of roleplay and who is focused on arbitrary arguments.

Because the evil endings aren't supposed to be satisfying to those who don't play them. They aren't supposed to be a moral lesson to the player. It's not that meta (no matter how some people want it to be). It's not that type of game. The evil endings are supposed to be satisfying for those who enjoy playing those endings.

It's supposed to be a different experience. Empty and lonely, sure! But it's still meant to be rewarding for the player. Otherwise, it would be pointless to offer as a roleplay style.

I don't think Larian anticipated so many of us would prefer playing evil like this. I think the idea was for it to be a thing you do after you get bored of playing a few good solo runs. It also doesn't make any sense to spend time and money on an ending, just to slap the player on the wrist for choosing it. They see from the stats how often people make certain choices. People play evil in this game for a lot of reasons, but one big one is because it's just good, devious fun! And without any actual, real world consequences. And I think they see that more than anything. I assume you're also talking about the new evil ending updates?

This phrasing from the first article I saw about it is promising to me that these updates will be satisfying for those who actually enjoy playing/romancing evil--as a positive dark romance and not as some abusive romantic tragedy.

I hope "satisfying narrative conclusions" means that the player can enjoy it for their roleplay. And doesn't just mean the endings are rounded out, but the player gets "punished" in the end. I mean, what are you being punished for exactly? Having fun? SERIOUSLY. Any anti-AA fans lurking the tag care to explain exactly WHY you want people to be punished for playing evil in a video game? I really don't get that. And I don't think Larian cares to do that to their consumers.

Truthfully... I'm hoping the new evil ending fixes will fix Minthara's bugs for one thing. But I also am hoping that it will give us some good AA content. I don't even want to speculate... I'm just gonna wait and see!

AND YES. The infantilization of Astarion and the whole concept of "oh what a cute helpless silly lil bby gorl who needs saving from himself, must be protected and shown who he should be because my Tav/Durge knows best for someone they barely know who's a different creature from them entirely" is...just...

They want a mix of Wyll and Gale but with Astarion's face, voice, and body.

[edible-emerald]

gonna try and make a proper pinned post lmfao

LINK TO A THERIAN DISCORD SERVER THAT I OWN THAT'S SUPER COOL AND AWESOME AND YOU SHOULD JOIN

SYSCOURSE CODE: 👍/❤️🗯/📘/🔺🔶/🔵/🌘🌕/🟧/🌲/🌥️☀️/💭/🐊/🐌🐞/🐳

PLURAL CODE: 🌄/❓/🔥/🍀/🐨🐏/🎧/⚡/ (We're still figuring a lot out)

A LOT OF THIS WAS WRITTEN BEFORE WE KNEW WE WERE PLURAL WE'LL UPDATE SOON I PROMISE MOST OF THIS APPLIES TO THE HOST

Howdy. You can call me Emerald, Calypso or Syren. My pronouns are she/they/xe/it. (Girlflux) Usually any are fine to use but they do fluctuate, so ask. Even if you use listed pronouns when I don't want you do I don't usually care all too much. I'm bodily a minor.

My sexuality and romantic attraction are very weird, I can say confidentially I'm on the aro/ace spectrum and a lesbian. I've been calling myself reciprosexual/romantic (Is that how its spelled?????) and my repulsion to sex/romance is highly fluctuating.

Because I am a minor, I ask that adults respect their own DNIs if they have that. If you don't, you may interact; but I get defensive, argumentative and anxious very easily, especially around adults.

Idk how I never added it but my mental disorders and disabilities are: ADHD (Diagnosed at age 9) Depression (Diagnosed at age 11) Social anxiety (Self diagnosed) Autism (Highly suspected/in the process of pursuing a diagnosis) Some sort of trauma disorder (Suspected, talking with my therapist about possible PTSD) OCD (Suspected, not as much anymore though) DID/OSDD (We're a sys(let) so the chances are relatively high, plus other symptoms) NPD (Suspected)

We're desirdae! We use a lot of desirdae & dissomei labels, however some major ones are desirfakesui, desirpermateen, desirworsen, desirpermadaydream, and a few others.

On most websites I use the username edible_emerald, including discord and ao3.

Median. I'm still figuring out this identity and questioning it so it's kinda a placeholder and we're gonna try and become more distinct but keep that in mind. Simply plural is Abysstem, if you friend me tell me your tumblr username when you do (I may decline sorry)

We're a Mixed Origin system! More specifically, Esogenic and our term, Hexabyssgenic. if you have a problem with it than block button is there for your convenience <3

I'm alterhuman!! Therian, otherkin, conceptkin, holothere, otherhearted, and voidkin. Theriotype: Northwestern grey (gray? grey? hwo the fyuck do you spell it) wolf, kintype: mermaid, and i'm also a mermaid holothere :> I'm questioning Lynx/wild feline, along with something winged (but I'm not too sure anymore). I’m also mermaidhearted and have other hearttypes that I’ve been too lazy to figure out but I will eventually. I'm also conceptkin of the concept of dissociation because uhhh fuck you

I post art sometimes

Also I like to write!! :3

MY SPINTEREST IS MCYT!!!! I LOVE!!!!!! MCYT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KSMP LSSMP UU PARK/PVPCIV CSMP TRSMP AND WHITEPINE OHHH I LOVE YOU OHHH I LVOE YOU

My mains/favs in no specific order are : (c! means all iterations of the character are my favorite)

c!Loppezz

ls/uu!Spoke

c!Ashswag

c!Squiddo

ls!4CVIT

tr/uu!Pangi

ls!Kaboodle

c!Ivory

c!RAT/Doctor4t

csmp!Luxintrus

c!Planetlord

c!Nufuli

+ more

Current hyperfixation: STUDIO INVESTIGRAVE UUUUAAAGHRRGHHGGHHHHH OHH HYM GOD RODY IFS SO FUCKIGN STUPID OHH BOK-SU THYEE COULD NEVR MAKE ME HATE OYUUU.... also ARCANE OJOHIHOHH ARCANE OMG ARCANE ARCANE ILY ARCANE TIMBOMB MAKES ME ILL OHHH ARCANE. SOMe previous hyperfixations include LU/TOTK/TLOZ, TOH, CSMP, KOTLC, TADC, HH, HB, MD, TOS (1 and 2), and chess. I write fanfiction a bit and you can find my writings on my ao3 account (edible_emerald)

I run a plethora of sideblogs, ask if you're curious

I can reclaim the slurs faggot, retard, dyke, lesbo and tranny but I don't really use them very often (also i'm extremely uncomfortable with being called a retard or retarded even if it's reclaimed or as a joke, please don't, also please don't call me stupid or insult my intelligence at all /srs)

I will update this when I remember stuff lmao

I will try to respect your boundaries, but I may forget and accidentally misgender you, break your boundaries, make you uncomfortable, etc. Please correct me if I do! We're autistic so sometimes it's hard to tell TvT

I'm pretty petty keep that in mind I am NOT the bigger person

My only DNI are that bigots DNI. I also ask that Harry Potter and DSMP fans DNI *UNLESS* I interact first, then you're welcome to.

astrothetherian supporters fuck off lmao you're unfunny as hell

As for my other DNIs, I don't have any, anyone can interact. You will want to keep in mind that I'm:

Pro endogenic/tulpamancer/willogenic systems

We believe tulpamancy isn't cultural appropriation as we've seen screenshots from Tibetan Buddhists saying it was OK, but if you have people who are Tibetan Buddhists saying otherwise please let me know /srs

Pro self-diagnosing (with research)

Shipcourse is stupid. I guess we're technically proship/profic (in the sense that we believe in "ship and let ship" and won't harass people over it but don't actually ship problematic things ourselves) but we still ask darkshippers DNI (because it makes us uncomfortable) also anyone who calls themselves "antiship" unironically DNI you're all the most insufferable people on the planet (if you say you're anti proship you can interact because only people using 'antiship' get involved in shipcourse. hardcore shipcoursers also DNI you're literally the most obnoxious people out there disrespectfully)

Pro contradictory labels (we don't fully understand most of them but we don't care it doesn't harm anyone)

Anti Radqueer, TransID critical (we understand why they may be used but we believe that they aren't OK to use anyways, this excludes non harmful transIDs (ex: transhaircolor) though you should be extremely wary while using them as well as being aware of the connotations even if untrue, not letting transautistics into autistic spaces is not akin to not letting trans women in womens bathrooms and saying so is transphobic, putting "trans" in front of things like "abuser" or "groomer" after you've "transitioned" doesn't make you a transgroomer, it makes you a groomer, being transharmful due to intrusive thoughts is harmful to those with them and the destigmatization of intrusive thoughts)

Pro TransID alternatives (such as desirdae, dissomei, etc) AS LONG AS you are against harmful transitioning

Send an ask and we can go into more depth on any of these opinions

I block freely though.

Click the link below to help Palestinians in need. It's free and only takes a few seconds!

I really love these userboxes :3 below the cut is just a bunch more userboxes

[aropride]

trying to draw lines of who's queer and who's not is unhelpful and a waste of time and i find it's an impossible task to categorize something as uncategorizable as attraction and identity. i've started thinking of it as more of a sociopolitical label as well as an identity label, and in my opinion that's a lot more useful than sitting around trying to decide if a guy who's only ever been attracted to women and ryan reynolds counts as queer or not. because i feel like if, for instance, a straight cis man who does drag and regularly engages in trans activism and sits down with his state senator to discuss making trans sanctuary laws or whatever. wants to identify as queer. i don't really care? i don't think that affects anyone negatively. i think if someone's involved in queer activism and the queer community and they want to use the word queer for themselves i think that's fine and i think it's not any of my business.

also there's this tendency, especially online, for people to go "well what if an allocishet person uses the word queer for themself even though they arent!" and that doesn't feel like a helpful thing to worry about because like.. what if? who is really getting hurt if a gender nonconforming cishet person identifies as queer? or a woman with two husbands? i saw a post along the lines of "we've got straight girls calling themselves fagdykes this is why inclusionism is bad" and i mean. first of all i genuinely just do not believe that. i don't think there are cishet women calling themselves fagdykes. i don't think people who wouldn't be considered queer by cishet society are often proudly declaring themselves part of the queer community in general. people don't paint targets on their backs for fun. i think it's much more likely that the person they were mad at was nonbinary or bi or otherwise queer. but even if they were, like. if for some reason a completely cis completely straight woman wanted to reclaim slurs for herself, she probably has a reason for that. and it's not really our business anyway.

and i think if someone actually is "only identifying as queer to infiltrate queer spaces and cause discord and hurt people," i think that's a them problem, not a "person who uses labels i don't fully get" problem. and i don't think that happens often except for possibly in discord servers, and i think that's generally called "lying" and "being an asshole."

whenever i see stuff trying to draw a line on who's queer and who's not, whether this person can say fag or not, whether it's okay for this person to use they/them pronouns or not, whatever. "are polyamorous people queer?" "can a cis guy use they/them pronouns?" i think of ace/aro exclusionism and bi exclusionism and nonbinary exclusionism. because the arguments sound the same. something about not being "oppressed enough," about "stealing resources" (what resources?), about "well these ones are okay but those ones aren't," about fakers, about people reclaiming slurs they can't use, about how they're "making us look bad," how they're "not queer enough," whatever. and i think it's petty and useless and pretty stupid when we're in the face of a rise in violent transphobia to focus on that instead of actual problems.

i had a friend in high school who talked about how she doesn't understand sexuality and gender and gender roles because she's autistic. she was a lot like me in that we'd both pick at strict definitions of things like "queer" or "trans" and find exceptions to common strict definitions until they fell apart entirely. and she identified with just her name, not trans, not nonbinary, not cis either. not bi or pan or ace or aro or anything else, and not straight. just herself. and she was fully accepting of me and other queer people in our life and was involved in queer activism and was actively deradicalizing her mom from radfem ideology. i don't know if she identified as queer then or if she does now, but if she did/does, i don't see why she shouldn't. i don't think it'd be my place to tell her not to.

i don't know. i just think if someone wants to consider themself queer it's not my business why. because they probably have a good reason. and i think trying to define something like queerness is an impossible task, and i think there's better things to do. it's not hurting anyone for someone you or i see as allocishet to identify as queer for whatever reason. sometimes you don't have to understand the intricacies of someone's identity and life story and why they use certain words for themselves.

[mangocoal01]

Ramblings I had on Metal Gear Rising and Metal Gear Solid's Differences in Gameplay & Storytelling Integration

Context: I wrote this all up while witnessing a conversation in a Discord server I'm in where two people are lamenting how Metal Gear Rising got panned and blamed it on fans of Metal Gear Solid for hating on it and that's why it'll never get a sequel. Or something to that degree. They never responded to this wall of text I made but I had fun writing it regardless just because it gave me a chance to reflect on my experience with the Metal Gear series. It's not very structured or cohesive but I just like talking about games I enjoy/enjoyed in the past that made me feel things (in a good way). Wall of Text commence: Gonna play a bit of devil's advocate as someone who enjoys the mainline Metal Gear games AND Metal Gear Rising while also sharing my own thoughts. Long messages and yapping ahead because I'm passionate.

TL;DR Alot of Metal Gear fans probably didn't enjoy the massive transition of gameplay-styles and the approach to MGRR's storytelling since it's pretty different from MGS1-4 in those aspects (and some others) esp. because of the legacy it was following up on.

Disclaimers: 

- I don't regularly interact with the Metal Gear fanbase in whatever form that may take like subreddits or speedrunning communities or whatnot. I just like Metal Gear in general and got into it around my later teenage years.

- I played MGS2, 3, 4, Peace Walker, Ground Zeroes, and Phantom Pain. I never got around to playing the entirety of Metal Gear 1 and 2 on the MSX OR Metal Gear Solid 1. I also haven't played any spin-offs like Metal Gear Ac!d or Portable Ops. 

- I don't regularly like interacting with haters or people complaining about games people enjoy anymore. It's just kind of tiring & repetitive for me at this point. So I don't see many of the interactions you're discussing but I can easily see it occurring. Still, discourse and hate in swaths of anonymous online non-faces is what I expect at this point so I try not to get caught up in complaining about other people's complaining, if I can catch myself beforehand. I don't like engaging with large groups or people not open to hearing out other arguments in good faith. I can enjoy engaging in discussion with an individual who actually wants to have a back-and-forth argument, not someone who wants me to be their pillow to scream in and tell me I'm wrong (often alongside some unflattering labels & name-calling), no matter what I say.

- I'd just like to say my piece here because I like adding wrinkles and contributing an additional perspective on the subject.

I like MGRR but I can easily see why it would rub some people the wrong way esp. if they were deeply invested in the mainline Metal Gear games' storylines.  The jump from stealth-action hybrid to high-octane character action combat can be jarring for many and holds different gameplay appeals in their pacing, APM, spectacle, & tone. Many people would've been used to the series being a stealth-action hybrid game for many years and would likely be in their mid to late 20s by the timing MGRR came out if they hopped on MGS1/MGS2 in their early teens, if we're being generous about how early they got into the series. Change and adaptation for new things gets harder & inconvenient for alot of people esp. as they get older and their brains get less malleable like impressionable, fast-learning kids/teens' are.

Not to mention, while Metal Gear as a franchise has always delved into some over-the-top goofy AF anime shit and melodramatic storytelling (it's part of why many love it), Rising definitely amps it up to 11 in at least the action sequences' intensity (which I like btw, don't get me wrong) & how it executes the story it wants to tell. The tone is in-line with the past games but it's a lot more intense and wild about it; plus, arguably, it's even more cartoony than the even hammiest moments of the MGS entries. Whether this is an improvement, just fine and make no difference, or downright irritating for some is dependent on the individual person, their tastes, and why they enjoyed the older games' storytelling. No accounting for taste. But either way, something was different and it didn't click with everyone the same way, for better or worse.

This also ties in with the story direction and the gameplay of MGRR, and how it goes about resolving the dissonance between the hyper-violent action & the series' common anti-war & killing and the action-heavy gameplay that often calls for it. MGS1 (not including the Twin Snakes Gamecube remake) didn't have a tranquilizer gun so you couldn't exactly do a no-kill run of that game but you could for the sequels afterwards. But even then, a large part of the story was about questioning & often condemning the violent killing of others and even taking a sadistic joy in it. The game's story was simultaneously talking about both Snake and the player (OooOoooOOooOOoH....meta commentary!). But anyway, even when the player/the main character kills even the most generic enemies, the game's framing, storytelling, and gameplay options make a point to emphasize there's a cost to killing, an inhumanity to it, a sort of dark stain on your record as the player, along with the character. You're often encouraged not to fight to begin with in modes like European Extreme difficulty, where it just says "Game Over" the moment you're detected, for example. Not to mention, the games often rewarded you for not killing the guards or non-essential NPCs, a lot of in-game tactics, rankings, item rewards, etc. tied into such things.

Anyway, I'm getting a bit off-topic from Metal Gear Rising Revengeance but I wanted to re-establish a bit of groundwork on the general tone & messaging of the franchise. In short, the Metal Gear franchise's story has always been rooted in anti-war sentiment & that killing is generally not a good thing you should do willy-nilly or be very proud about. I don't believe most people will find that reading highly disagreeable. And to its credit, MGRR also strongly attempts to adhere to this idea in its storytelling. However, the big thing that rubs some people the wrong way about it, is how it goes about addressing the dissonance between what is conveyed in the story and what is conveyed in the actual gameplay design. And believe me, a lot of people are deeply invested in the story of Metal Gear, esp. the Metal Gear Solid titles.

MGRR Story Context: Raiden repeatedly, in his dialogue in the first half of the game at least, makes a general point that he only kills because he has to in order to save innocent lives, stop bad guys, and all that. It's not something he's doing for fun or for its own pleasurable sake. His simplistic justification and viewpoint on his own violence is challenged by Sam when the latter essentially shows Raiden that the mercs he has been killing are also people too with reasonable motives, loving families, and very human struggles. Desperado, the source of villains and mooks in this story, essentially exploits poor & vulnerable people, esp. veterans, to be their "human shields", as Raiden snaps back at Monsoon later. Eventually, Raiden chooses to deal with this inner conflict by giving into his dormant sadistic joy of killing which seems to get him out of the brief depressive funk he was in after realizing he was killing soldiers who maybe weren't complete scumbags by fair choice. And for the rest of the game, he gets a power-up form out of it and he continues his mission to save child brains and stop the next big war.

ANYWAY, how does this work in tandem with the gameplay of Rising? And how does Metal Gear Rising's answer compare to how Metal Gear Solid games address the weight of killing? Well, to state the obvious, the game very much rewards and even encourages, to a degree, wanton violence & killing with the Zandatsu healing mechanic, the over-the-top QTE animations, the ranking system, Blade Mode finishers kinda prompting the player to just ham with the slicing & dicing for the final blow on many bosses, etc. 

Tangent: Yes, I'm aware of the wooden sword that you can use to potentially non-lethally defeat human enemies with but it's an optional unlockable weapon and even then, its use is not actively encouraged by the game's enemy/level design or mechanics within the actual battles themselves outside of a post-fight ranking bonus that congrats you for not killing people; it's kind of like the post-endgame ranking screens of the MGS games in that factor, at least. But regardless, I don't think most people would say playing the game using the low-damage wooden sword was the most fun way to play MGRR, let alone the most encouraged.

To oversimplify my main point here, there's an odd contrast between the story's "killing is cruel and bad" and the gameplay's self-indulgent "KILLING IS FUCKING AWESOME AND BADASS" (to oversimplify things) that probably rubs some people the wrong way esp. in the context of previous entries in the franchise's history. And there's more flattering interpretations of this dynamic that can put this juxtaposition in a more positive light, I'm sure, but it's usually not the kind of thing people bring up or explain in-depth. Most arguments just boil down to, "Ugh, the game is so hypocritical and confused on what it wants to be" followed by someone countering, "I DON'T CARE HE THREW A METAL GEAR!!!! YOU JUST CAN'T PULL THE STICK OUT OF YOUR ASS!" And then cue the name-calling, lack of media literacy accusations, and insults to each others' pretentiousness and/or simple-mindedness. Plus, sprinkle in some "Who cares about story, we skip the cutscenes on the second playthrough anyway"-sentiments and  "Metal Gear's story was never good to begin with and you're dumb for liking it"-type arguments ad-nauseam for years.

My personal thoughts on the matter is that MGGRR's story works well enough for me and I enjoy it, even if I personally feel Raiden's story should've ended with MGS4 (and the series in general tbh). A hopeful ending and cathartic resolution after so much strife & struggle for our characters. But I also understand companies like money and finished products so I understand why Konami & Kojima Productions hired Platinum Games & gave them more creative freedom to make it a sequel post-MGS4 instead of working a story within the confines of a prequel that takes place between 2 and 4. 

Also, I like the gameplay too. How it handles QTE animations, music, timing of said music tracks, fast-paced gameplay, is still some of the coolest shit I've seen in games. Plus, I know the mixed-messaging is weird but, I enjoy the game as a whole, regardless. I am kind of just used to videogame-storytelling compromises at this point so it rarely bothers me too much, even in the most egregious cases for many, e.g. "You utterly dominate the enemy in gameplay but you lose in the cutscene"-scenario. I just shrug my shoulders and think, "That's mildly eyebrow-raising but those are the kind of idiosyncrasies one should expect in the average game." I'm used to it and have accepted it.