#source: B99

[thecatwhosavedbooks]

Mav: Talk to me, goose. How are we looking?

Goose: Sexy, but not like we're trying too hard. Like, sure, we're trying, but it's almost effortless.

[im-not-a-l0ser]

Max: Do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist? Steph: Yes! Max: I was hula hooping. I attend a class for fitness and for fun. Steph: Oh. My. God. Max: I've mastered all the moves. *pulls out a phone to show Steph pictures* The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle. Steph in a state of pure awe: Why are you telling me this? Max, deleting the pictures: Because no one...will ever believe you. Steph: You sick son of a bitch

[shyjusticewarrior]

Selina: Nice work.

Jason: Good. Thanks, mom.

Everyone: ...

Jason: Why is everyone staring at me?

Steph: You just called Selina mom. You said "thanks, mom."

Jason: What? No, I didn't. I said "thanks, man."

Selina: Do you see me as a mother figure, Jason?

Jason: No, if anything I see you as a bother figure cause you're always bothering me.

Dick: Hey! Show your mother some respect!

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

Damian: I’ve only said “I love you” to three people; Mother, Father, and Richard. And one of those I regret. Jon: Which one? Damian: Richard. He didn’t die, so now I look like an idiot.

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Yelena: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Bob: Okay, but in my defense, Alexei bet me 100 dollars that I couldn't drink all that shampoo.

Yelena: That's not what I wanted to - you drank shampoo?

[somecluelessidiot]

Remus: Keep an eye on James today. He's going to say something stupid to Regulus and get punched.

Sirius: Sure, I'd love to see James get punched.

Remus: Try again.

Sirius: I... will stop James from getting punched.

Remus: There you go.

[hello-waffles-are-good]

[Young Justice just chilling, writing up cases and such]

Bart, abruptly getting up: omg I've gotta go-

Tim, unbothered: aren't you forgetting something??

Bart: ???

Bart, hesitantly: uh... *Kisses forehead, then speeds away*

Tim, calling after him: No! Sign your REPORT! Damn, who taught you?

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Barty, can I talk to you for a second? Barty: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and James are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Regulus: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

[incorrectpeterparker]

Peter: I wasn’t injured. I was lightly stabbed

Tony: I’m sorry, you were stabbed?!

Peter: LIGHTLY stabbed. I didn’t want to worry you

[everwalldigan]

Bruce to the JL while Dick is using him as a jungle gym: this is Robin. I’ve only had Robin for 5 days and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room then myself

[mysterylilycheeta]

Xaden: Why are you wincing? Did you get injured? Violet: I wasn't injured. Xaden: Oh then- Violet: I was just lightly stabbed. Xaden: I'm sorry, YOU WERE STABBED?! Violet: Lightly stabbed, I didn't want to frighten you.

[bunny7567]

Sometime after the war ended Fox: I’ve only said “I love you” to three people - Ponds, Thorn, and Rex. And one of those I regret. Cody: Which one? Fox: Rex. He didn’t die, so now I look like a di'kut.

[this-is-krikkit]

levi: hange and i have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

hange: sentences!!

levi: do not interrupt me.

[unicornblossom13]

Optimus [easily lifted into the air by just one of Megatron’s hands around his waist]: Do I even weigh anything to you?

Megatron: No, it’s like holding a single grape.

[holy-incorrectquotes-batman]

Damian: Was that weird earlier? When I told everyone I was gay. Was that too touchy-feely? Jon: Dami, no. It was great. And don't worry, just because you opened up a little doesn't mean everyone's gonna be any less afraid of you. Jon: We're all still terrified. Damian, genuinely touched: Thank you, Kent.

[incorrect-thunderbolts]

Walker: Alright, give me your hair dryer.

Yelena: What are you talking about?

Walker: Don't you carry one in your purse?

Yelena: Have you ever met a human woman?

[later]

Walker: Hey, do you carry a hair dryer in your purse?

Ava: Of course, I'm not an animal.