#there's probably another microlabel for that

[fire-on-fuel]

since we're talking about this being the "functional label to bypass getting into the comittment issues" aroallo type of aromantic and not the aroace type of aromantic sucks so bad. they should give you a warning or something

[bloggingboutburgers]

So I’m thinking of asking my other aro ace friend out, but I don’t know how or if that would change our relationship at all. From one aroace to another, what’s the point in having labels on a relationship?

hugfjkgd I'm probably not the best person to answer that at first glance either since I reacted to my partner's suggestion to be queer platonic partners with basically "So... As we are as usual then?" 🙈

But ah... I've definitely found benefits to it, personally, for one thing because it made us all the more comfortable to unapologetically vibe as we are, and also... You know how society is kinda obsessed with putting people in pairs and stuff, no matter what? This... Helps with that too, even if not everybody understands it. I've felt people have left me alone more on that front.

Though ultimately, I guess the answer on labels is always the same: they can be very self-affirming but they're not necessary and you don't have to force them onto yourself if you don't feel they'd benefit your own self-affirmation! (I say that as an aroace who typically, for instance, doesn't identify under any microlabels because they weren't defined yet when I was figuring myself out, and as incredibly useful as they are, I don't feel the need to dive into them much myself.) It's up to anyone really!

[silly-fox-and-its-stuffies]

small intro (writing this realizing I dont know crap abt myself /hj)

[plain text: small intro (writing this realizing I don't know crap about myself /hj) ]

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About Me

[plain text: about me]

disabled with a neurological condition (FND), age regressor, Universic + pagan? maybe?, genderqueer, pan, aromantic, way too many microlabels, oh yeah i'm also alterhuman and a furry

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Warnings

[plain text: warnings]

I use caps a lot, lmk if you dont like if I say ily or use hearts, I'm a minor but not saying age, I'm autistic and prob have a personality disorder, I'm also the host of a polyfragmented DID system (do NOT involve us in discourse, also dont ask our system origins, that's none of your business)

i also talk about religion sometimes, I usually forget to tag so here's your warning if you're uncomfy with that

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DNI

[plain text: DNI, or do not interact]

DNI: T.R.A.S.H. (transphobic, racist, ableist, sexist, homophobic), fatphobic ppl, over 30 or so idk 25+ is on thin ice usually, FARTs (another acronym for terfs/swerfs), age play/ddlg, pro narc abuse, radqueers (doesn't include desiredae, those are welcome here but radqueers arent)

before you ask about if I'm anti ship or pro ship: https://pin.it/62RMtuyiX

DO NOT SAVE MY PICTURES AND VIDEOS

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interests/hyperfixations: kandi, minecraft, BLUEY, religion, whale sharks, NEUROLOGY, queer identities, stuffies, sudoku, greys anatomy, arc of a scythe

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I made a blog for aac emotes! @bumblebee-emotes

I made a community for people with FND! :D https://www.tumblr.com/join/RyaP0NeQ

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current partners:

@sleepinginmygrave (platonic)

@arson-keeps-the-fire-going (romantic)

Ripple (romantic)

Faven (platonic)

Elliot (romantic)

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Please do not DM me without warning. Seriously. It gives me really bad anxiety and I'm probably going to end up upset instead of wanting to talk to you bc you ignored this. This is because of trust issues. If you ignore this don't be mad when I'm upset at you because you made me extremely anxious not knowing who messaged me.

People who can DM: @raeprise @sleepinginmygrave @kittentism @bastognes-ghosts @theolikesstarss @oops-i-started-a-fire @trauma-official @rins-batcave

DO NOT SAVE MY PHOTOS AND VIDEOS!!!

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Art request rules

[plain text: art request rules]

-all art is done on my own terms, meaning it might take months for me to finish it, or i never end up finishing it at all (or starting it lol) i'm sorry

-do not expect it to be good, i'm trying my best but don't attack me if it's not perfect or what you wanted

-no gore or nsfw, also im not gonna do anything for a fandom im not familiar with

-i have the right to refuse any request, whether im not comfortable doing it or i just can't see myself ever getting to it

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someone help me structure this better please there's too many big piles of info PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS 😭

[monsterblogging]

I personally believe the Doctor would use microlabels to describe himself, because this is the guy who gets existed over all kinds of little things, like edible ball bearings. Microlabels just seem like another Oooh Shiny New Thing that would grab his attention.

Of course, he'd probably also make up a few new microlabels for himself, while he was at it.

[sugaredbloodcells]

:3 >.< xD :o) for whoever u want!!

:3 - Who was your first f/o?

none other than steve harrington! i don’t really remember if there was one before him, but he’s the first i strongly started making up “if we were dating…” scenarios with.

>.< - Do you have any xenogender/microlabel headcanons for your f/o?

(basing this off of like… asexual being a main label and something like demisexual being a microlabel. is that how microlabels work?? a lot of my f/os have these though so i won't go into great detail, so feel free to ask about specific ones if you'd like.)

stu: omnisexual (someone who is attracted to all genders where gender plays a role in one's attraction) and apresromantic (someone who experiences romantic attraction only after another form of attraction is felt).

i feel like stu is equally attracted to men and women (i won't be mentioning nonbinary people, sorry), but he knows there's a notable difference between his feelings with each. with girls, he's softer and more romantic, plays the role of a very stereotypical movie boyfriend. he loves it! he does! he just doesn't feel that same way with other boys. with those relationships, he can let out rougher sides of himself, like playfighting or knifefighting if the other agrees. he does not have to be so gentle, he knows men can understand his emotions better, at least the rougher parts. he overall feels more comfortable with men in an emotional sense.

and on the apresromantic side of things, he has to have some kind of other feelings first, like stated before. he has to have a friendship with them (platonic attraction), or think that they look really cool (aesthetic attraction), or would want to be physically close to them (sensual attraction), or would want to date them after they hook-up (sexual attraction). he can't just want to date someone based on very loosely based things. he may be a whore, but not that much of one!

stevo: heteroflexible (someone who is primarily hetero but may occasionally be attracted to the same gender) and reciprosexual (someone who only experiences sexual attraction when they know the other person is sexually attracted to them first).

stevo mainly likes girls. he had never thought of this before bob's death, but afterwards of it, while figuring himself out, he started to realize not all boys think about kissing pretty boys sometimes. he started to realize that during punk shows or parties, he'd rarely see a boy in the crowd that he thought was pretty in the way a girl is pretty. when he'd lay to go to sleep at night, he would wonder what it would've been like to kiss him, maybe hook-up with him in the bathroom, like he had done many times with girls in the past. yeah... he figured out that wasn't the case for a lot of men.

i'm basing him being reciprosexual on the fact that we only saw stevo be with sandy after they were already together, meaning she probably wanted him first? at least, that's how it happened to me. and with brandy, he said something like "so... you like me?" which to me, means he needed the confirmation for he himself to feel anything. this is even more supported because they end up kissing after this. if he feels this way romantically, he definitely feels this way sexually too. he needs to be wanted first.

tim: hyperromantic.

i see him as the clingiest motherfucker to ever live. he hangs off of his partner (me). he cannot live without being attached at the hip. he's fully draped over me 24/7. and he wants to makeout at any given chance, right in front of people. he doesn't care who sees, he just wants the closeness all. the. fucking. time.

vessel: favperromantic (someone with bpd who only experiences romantic attraction to their favorite person) and hypersexual aro (someone who is hypersexual AND aromantic).

vess becomes obsessive very quickly, which is why he only feels romantic feelings for his favorite person. the obsession and dependency were already there, so it was almost like it was a matter of time. his bpd largely effects his romantic feelings in this sense, it can mend or break him in the matter of moments. the goods are really good and the bads are the end of the world worthy. moods are very dependent upon his fp, obviously, so romantic gestures make or break this as well.

this man has a hiiiiiigh sex drive... like holy FUCK. a lot of his thoughts are taken up by sexual acts, even if he means them in a loving sense. he loves to think about how he can pleasure, how badly he always wants to make his partner feel good, begs them for it quite often. but with being favperromantic, this places him on the aro spectrum, so therefore he's hypersexual aro.

ian: hypersexual.

based on the "sex" in the movie, i think he's very experienced in what was asked of him. he either thinks about these things a lot, or he acts them out a lot. he loves creating scenes, whether real or in his head. it's a happy place for him, somewhere he feels the most himself. he needs this, needs it to be a rather large part of what he needs from a relationship, or multiple sexual partners, or hook-ups, or needs from himself.

simon: hypersexual.

when does simon not think about sex? it's almost like an obsession to him. he adores sex, adores it. much like ian, he loves to create scenes, real or in his head (he much prefers them to be real, he feels a bit pathetic to get himself off to such things). it feels euphoric for him, a place to fully put himself into, a good mold for him. he hates fitting into boxes, but sex is a box he doesn't mind. it gets his feelings out in all the right ways, ways music can't do for him even.

trait: demifluxsexual (someone who is demisexual but has fluctuating sexual attraction based on emotional connections. they can still have an emotional bond with another person, but the fluctuation and intensity of their sexual attraction is uncontrollable).

has a weird relationship with sex in general. she often feels almost completely asexual. i think their demifluxsexuality is more like being acespike with demisexual being added to that.

astarion: hyperromantic.

look at him and tell me he is not hyperromantic! do i need to explain this? he dotes on his partner constantly, it's unrenlentless praise. all he wants is for his darling, his pet, his sweet, to know exactly how much he adores them. he never grows tired of it, not once. he doesn't let up on it. he lets them know loud and clear just how appreciative he is that they've chosen him to love, to care for. even through disbelief, he doesn't go ungrateful. this isn't to mention how much he melts at any praise or recognition back. he will gladly accept compliment after compliment. he loves attention from his love, any at all that he can get.

art: favperplatonic (someone with bpd who only experiences platonic attraction to their favorite person).

art deals with the struggle to have any type of attraction to anyone at all. i mean, unless you would consider wanting to murder someone a type of attraction? besides, that's for his own enjoyment anyways, it's not like he picks anyone for any specific reason. so, the closest thing he can get to a type of "attraction" is through his fp, which is something that's hard to understand with his lack of attraction. though, his fp extends off of who a safe person is for him with his avpd.

glenn: coeoromantic (someone who will only experience romantic attraction to someone if they developed that feeling upon meeting them the first time, it's similar to the concept of "love at first sight").

basing this off of his relationship with maggie. he legit fell in love with her the first time he saw her, that's enough evidence for this alone!!! he loved her on first meet alone, and those feelings only grew after getting to know her more.

xD - Who would be your f/o’s favorite Creepypasta and why? What about yours?

admittedly i do not know creepypastas like… mostly at all. i only know a few by name and appearance. so these will be made on basic knowledge! sorry for being off character!

art: laughing jack. i watched this art timelapse video on youtube a couple days ago of laughing jack and i immediately thought "art would love this guy!" and it's totallllly not because they look vaguely similar. art isn't vain! (lying)

vessel: based on the photo used on the website i'm referencing right now... vess would like seedeater. very creature! or zalgo.

simon: very basic... would like slenderman i think! he could get into that one slenderman game i think. i can imagine him playing it and me giggling whenever he gets jumpscared. him pretending to not be scared would be funny and also him yelling when he dies would be funny too.

wade: would also like slenderman! he thinks the concept is kinda a little lame but deep down is like "yeah... it's kinda cool" would like splendorman more.

:o) - What or who do you think your f/o would kin?

art: THE JOKER! this totallyyyyy isn’t because art’s actor loves the joker and it’s a dream role of his. totally not based upon that at all… but i do think art would see himself in the joker. could be a special interest to him kind of deal.

vessel: kins cryptids, ghosts/spirits, cats, sometimes dogs. he's very creature in the woods. it was the life he was meant to have.

i am severely blanking on this one, sorry!

:^* - Who would be your f/o’s favorite character from My Little Pony and why? What about yours?

adding this one on my own because i really want to answer it! again though, i do not know mlp like… mostly at all. i only know basically the mains by name and appearance. so these will be made on basic knowledge! sorry if this is very off character!

simon: APPLEJACK!!!! he would fucking haaate to admit to this, but the pony with a cowboy hat has his heart.

vessel: twilight sparkle! he likes that she's purple. would be sad none of the main ponies use red in a good way that he would like better.

stu: rainbow dash (gay!!!!!!)

steve: fluttershy... finds her reeeeeally cute <3 he would love her so much, thinks she is the cutest thing ever. has argued with both erica and dustin about which pony is the cutest.

astarion: rarity!!! he thinks she looks fancy and cool, so he thinks she's the coolest because of fancy. blame his vampire-isms!

art: rainbow dash! or maybe pinkie pie? he would point at the tv and grin at me, then look at the tv, then back to me making heart hands at the character while tilting his head to the side all lovey. is very cute about it, to be honest.

wade: sooooo pinkie pie. like COME ON! he calls yukio this so...? and he loves yukio. it's affectionate.

I FORGOT TO ANSWER MY FAVORITE!!! my favorite is rainbow dash! that pony is transmasc as fuck <33

[void-botanist]

Multigender time :3

I wanted to do @multiplyqueer's multigender ask game also so here we go! (edit: updated the link and tag because I got it confused whoops)

Basics

1) What are your genders? Either labels/terms or descriptions :)

I feel like every time I nail things down I change my mind. But something along the lines of man, something feminine I don't have a name for, and something neutralish. I feel like I'm fem via being masc and masc via being fem, if that makes sense.

2) Describe your pronouns. What are they, and why?

he, for reasons of being a trans dude; they, for reasons of someone called me that and I was like "oh I like that"; ze, for reasons of I've always kinda liked it since I was messing around with the idea of being not-a-woman; and she, for reasons of I think having he and she as pronouns is badass and also if she is one of my pronouns I can't be misgendered if people call me she, hypothetically. But I think I need to ignore that last bit and focus on how I know cool real and fictional people who use he and she.

3) How long have you known you were multigender? Or, when did you discover each of your genders?

In 2017 I realized there was something nonbinary about me. By 2018 I was like awesome, I'm a trans guy. Somewhere around 2021, after getting through a whole lot of life shit, I started to realize that both could be true and that in fact I could even circle back around to something feminine. Only in the process of writing this did I accept that that something feminine doesn't have to somehow be "woman". Maybe one day it will be as I get further from trying to be stuffed into that box, but also maybe it won't.

4) When did you first hear about being multigender?

Not sure. Probably when I was going down another rabbit hole looking for microlabels, or when I heard other people on tumblr using bigender as a label.

5) Are there any terms under the multigender umbrella that you identify with? (like bigender, trigender, genderfluid, omnigender, multiflux)

Genderfluid, fluidflux, and also kinda androgyne, which isn't strictly a multigender identity but also kind of is. I did also identify as bigender for a while but I think that's not accurate anymore - there are more genders in me than I thought :3

6) Do you identify with any umbrella terms that can encompass being multigender, like "trans" or "nonbinary"?

I identify with both of those, though I identify much more with genderqueer than nonbinary. I'm a weird little creature.

What's It Like For You? 7) Are your genders more fluid or more static?

Fluid on the whole, which can make me feel like a fool answering questionnaires like this, because what even am I lol.

8) Are your genders more separate or blended together?

Originally I felt that they were very blended together, but now I think they both are and aren't. There are separate genders in there but they also bleed into each other and inform each other.

9) Do you "hoard" genders or labels?

Me? No, of course not. NO DON'T LOOK UNDER THERE

10) Do you have any analogies you use to describe your genders?

Previously I described my androgyneness as like purple dye in a can of white paint that hasn't been completely mixed up. There are stronger and weaker stripes of color, and there's clearly two different things that are now mixed up as one thing. I still like the image, and I'm not sure that it's wrong, but more recently I've started to think of my gender like a half pipe. I start from the "man" side, pass through the neutralish middle, and don't get quite up to the top of the "woman" side. If anything, I'm a girl, but not in a young way. In a "girl, so confusing" by Charli xcx way.

11) Describe your ideal gender presentation, or physical form.

Retractable tits. I rest my case.

But for real I really love how my chest looks post top surgery but I do miss my tits at times. I also wish people could just read me as a guy without my intervention, because if they also read me as a faggot they're still right. If people could look at me and know one thing about me it should be that I'm a fag, not a woman. I don't have one single ideal presentation but my triangle slider would probably be denim butchfag, punk lumberjack, and gothic lolita.

12) Does your gender influence your sexual orientation?

I'm gay for everyone and it's impossible to be straight for me unless it's funny :3

13) Does your sexual orientation influence your gender(s)?

A little, in the sense that I feel all of my attraction is queer and my gender matches that, whatever that means in context.

14) Do you identify with any multigender-specific sexuality labels?

To be honest, I don't know many, and did not have much success learning more with a little bit of searching. So not currently, but maybe in the future. That said, my sexuality has always felt more straightforward to me than my gender and I think bi covers it pretty well. Getting A Bit Personal Now, Are We

15) Describe your names and their significance to you.

My chosen (and now legal) name is a secret but I wanted a name that would easily be read as masculine (this has been less successful than you would think because of other aspects of my presentation over time, even though I personally have never heard of a woman with this name). Online, though, I go by Rose, which feels like an extra queer name paired with my more masculine genders and also he/him. I'm also just a big flowers person, if you couldn't guess.

16) What are your plans for medical, social, legal (etc) transition? How far along in your transition would you consider yourself to be?

I already got top surgery and a hysterectomy and have been on T off and on since 2019. In terms of what I want out of T I'm like halfway there - still waiting on my beard to fully grow in and my downstairs growth to get as far as it can go. After that I plan to go off T again and just chill with my ovaries. My social and legal transition are like 99% complete - I think I still have one little thing to update but all my important documents and accounts have my new name and gender, and I finally have enough rental history under that name to not get instantly outed when I rent a place T-T I like being openly queer but I'm not here for administrative transphobia and deadname fuckery.

17) Have you faced any barriers in transitioning specifically related to your multigender identity or related goals?

Not really, because I just don't mention being something other than a trans guy unless it feels relevant and safe to mention it. So I get my T prescribed and go on my merry way. But it helps that I want to be outwardly "man", so even if my ultimate goal is not to Pass™ I do want the same T dosage they would prescribe to a completely binary trans man.

18) Have you ever faced prejudice or hostility due to your multigender identity or related presentation?

If I project that identity retrospectively, yeah, because my family was just queerphobic as shit and anything I did to be a feminine guy (which is still accurate to me, but I didn't have the brain space to describe myself any other way at the time) instantly made me a target. Being a guy was impossible enough, but this girly shit on top of it? I was CLEARLY just lying to myself. I also did get called "faggot" on the street once. Which would have been scary if anything else had happened but tbh it was kinda validating. These days the thing I worry about most is people thinking I'm some kind of predator, if they look at me and see a man in a dress instead of a weirdly shaped woman in one. But in the areas I frequent I think people are more likely to assume I'm a trans woman in a more neutral way, which is not accurate but not a big deal.

19) When in a situation forcing you into one gender, what do you do?

With bathrooms, I almost always go to the men's, but sometimes that feels too sketchy since apparently I don't pass even when I am dressed in a way that feels masc to me (unironically I think my short boots might "give me away") but wearing a mask in public helps. At the Sea-Tac airport there are all-gender bathrooms, which is the best thing ever for me. In other situations, I pretty much always say "man" - that's what I am legally and administratively and that's not 100% accurate but it's fine with me. Dress codes are the bane of my fucking existence though, like they make me spiral like nothing else, and I find a way to subvert them somehow.

20) How do you deal with such transmultiphobia, external or internal? Do you use any comforts or affirmations to help?

Honestly I mostly try to forget about it. I count my blessings in the form of all gender restrooms and such, because even though they're not enough they do mean a lot. A lot of the time the comfort I have is just thinking of it like I have a bunch of cool secret genders that I can't tell most people about because they're cool and secret, even though the real reason is a lot of people in my life wouldn't get it and I can't stand for them to look at me differently because of it.

Pride

21) What are your favorite things about being multigender?

I'm a weird creature and omnidirectional gay :3

22) What multigender-related pride flag do you like the most?

A lot of them have bad contrast and/or too much saturation/values that are too similar but nevertheless when I looked back at the fluidflux flag it became my favorite:

There are also some cool variations of the flag like this one:

It also contains the colors of the androgyne flag :3

23) What unique parts about your identity are you proud of?

Wanting to be a stereotypical effeminate gay was part of what tipped me over into accepting that I was trans, and I'm proud to continue being a faggot 🫡

24) Do you do (or have you ever done) anything to express pride, privately or publicly, in your multigender identity?

The biggest thing is just having it out on my social media, because I don't really have non-pseudonymous social media anymore.

25) What's your favorite art/music/writing/etc about being multigender? (Things not explicitly written as such are OK too!)

Misha Krivanek's TMNT OC Tomiko is the character that got me comfortable with being genderfluid because she's just so cool???? I'm not even into TMNT????

But aside from that I don't have anything specifically multigenderous so I will give you a thing that has given me gender envy:

Community

26) Do you have any friends who are multigender?

Honestly I'm not sure! I have IRL friends who are genderfluid but I don't know if they consider themselves multigender, and I don't totally know what the line is between pleasant mutual and friend is on tumblr lol.

27) Do you talk about being multigender with other people?

The queers, yes. And obviously I'm not shy about it online.

28) Are you open/out about being multigender?

With my queer or otherwise chill friends, yes. I'm out as genderqueer at school but for simplicity I usually don't get into my gender beyond "genderqueer trans guy". But in general, no, because it's either irrelevant or I just don't think the other person would be able to handle knowing that. Not that they would be mean, but it would turn into a whole thing.

29) Are you open about some parts of your gender identity, but not others?

Pretty much the same as above - most people I know know that I'm trans, or could guess as much. But I don't get into the details unless someone asks, and basically no one does.

30) What do you wish more people knew about being multigender?

That it exists and you can be it!!! 31) Free space! Share anything you would like about your multigender experience.

I wish everyone who called me "she" would do it in the queerest way possible like. That's Mr. Ma'am to you. Also in the course of writing this I feel like I've accepted that I'm just not a woman and I don't need to keep asking myself if I am to fulfill some kind of quota. But I did conjure up the word "butchfag" when I was imagining my best denim-studded life, and I feel like that's my life goal for 2025. For reasons of safety - if I can look butchfag that means I can also just look like a random dude, nothing to see here - but also because I'm starting to understand my butch and femme sides better. One day I want to be a professor who is obviously queer and insufferably faggotrous, at least to the bigots. Drop my class, coward, if you even stayed after I told you you couldn't use AI.

Anyway this was a long post k thanks byeeeeeee

[presidentdisastraofgallifrey]

Doctor Who Headcanon Lists—Gender/Sexuality Version

I guess I'm just in a list mood this week. Also keep in mind the age one took me three tries to be happy with, so it is subject to change

*Note: I'm not including gender preferences in the sexualities here because I don't think Time Lords work like that. So I guess in a sense any versions that aren't aro ace are inherently bi, but only insofar as there's no reason they'd be into one gender over another.

One: he still has mostly Time Lord concepts of gender—not much of one—and sexuality—none at all. But he is immediately entranced by humans, and though he has no interest in or understanding of sex, he is interested in gender and romance as curiosities. Hence flirting occasionally and identifying more or less as a man, but in a novelty sort of way.

Two: is more curious than disgusted by sex, but has little real interest in it. Does have a slightly better grasp of romance by this point and has a clumsy but sweet relationship with Jamie. No connection to gender whatsoever and lets people assume whatever.

Three: more or less a man, but a bit to the left. Completely aro ace with no interest in either, which annoys the hell out of the Master who is thoroughly in love with him.

Four: never gives gender a second thought. Just doesn't care about it. Did try sex but hated it. Probably closest to demiromantic. Has an on-again-off-again romance with the Master, and eventually a very Time Lord version of romance with Romana, with much the same vibes as Romana will later have with Leela/Narvin/Brax—it's hard to pin down what they are, but they are their whole world.

Five: a woman but a little to the left. Completely aro but only mostly ace—has an ongoing dalliance with the Master, though he would swear he doesn't like sex, really, and if he did it wouldn't be with him. Until next time.

Six: incredibly nonbinary. Completely aro. Not completely ace but has a particular arrogance about how he—a Time Lord!—ought to be above it, so doesn't really do it much. Is a little more ace than he realizes.

Seven: tbd, still getting there.

Eight: aro allo. This one fucks. A lot. Also nonbinary, but in a fairly masc way.

War: there's a war on, he doesn't have time for gender, romance, or sex!

Nine: no connection to gender. No time or energy to think about identity. Disgusted by sex and romance.

Ten: man-adjacent. Completely ace. Something like greyromantic—not disgusted by it but barely a passing interest, and no one ever comes along he really wants a relationship with.

Eleven: he's a man, as much as a Time Lord can be. Completely ace. Not remotely aro. Actually has a number of short relationships, plus of course marries River. Yes I know him being ace is the opposite of what a lot of people got from him, but every single time someone kisses him he seems disgusted, and even later with River it always seems to surprise and unnerve him and he more allows it than wanting it.

Twelve: identifies as a grumpy old man specifically. For once completely allo and into both River and Missy.

Thirteen: nonbinary. Back to being allo ace, and definitely into Yaz romantically. I like shippy media of them, but in actual headcanons I like the idea that she isn't in any kind of place to have a healthy relationship so it's mostly just pining.

Fourteen: allo aro. He also fucks, once he starts to heal a bit. Learns about the nuances of gender from Rose and gets really into microlabels. Maybe even uses neopronouns later.

Fifteen: nonbinary and knows about pronouns now so uses he/they. All-around allo again, but doesn't randomly fuck or go on dates that much. Just open to it.

[recovering-radqueers]

Anonymous Asked: To be honest I don't know if I'm looking for advice, but some would be appreciated, I just wanted to ramble. Headmates in my system keep almost falling into the radqueer community and what genuinely keeps us going back is that they're the only ones really discussing things. Like we don't want a flag or a microlabel, we just want to read about others experiences and discuss our own. Going through the Dissomei tag it took until four months out to find a post of someone talking about their actual, genuine experiences outside of term coining. And it was just art. A lot of Disso and genuinely most terms that were coined by the anti-rq and MOGAI community feel so... watered down and over-sanitized because of the labels over experiences culture. If you're someone who genuinely has atypical dysphoria your options end up being a safe community that's exclusively term coining fluff vs. an unsafe community that actually gives you advice on how to deal with your dysphoria. I can see why some people would prefer the former, but we don't really have any safety nets in place for the later. It also doesn't help that my system has OCD and term hoarding is genuinely not healthy for us. In a way, that makes dissomei and even other alternatives like chronosian and aldernic a lot more frustrating to use because it can thrust us into an obsession to categorize ourselves to an unhealthy and reductive degree. I think the alterhuman community is honestly the only "alternative" popping off with this. Even when I check the atypical dysphoria tags the only ones actually talking about it outside of the transids are nonhumans. Though its always been a very discussion-heavy community and there's full on conventions that talk about this stuff. Actually transID pushing themselves into it ruined the existing trans-species community, but that's another topic. I think probably what we want is just a "no flags, just fucking talk about your experiences" community.

yeah i get that! i bet it feels awful when that's harmful to your OCD...

and i agree, there really should be spaces that actually talk more about The Experience. coining terms and flags are good, but sometimes the atypical dysphoria related term sphere on tumblr doesn't have a lot of actual discussion, and i think that makes my own headmates feel alienated at times too. so you're not alone in that!

term coining isn't bad of course, but i think there’s a real need for a community that prioritizes depth and honesty over categorization.

i'm sorry it's been so isolating for you and your system! i don't know if it's possible for you, but maybe using tumblr's new community feature to make a community that bans term posts and is just talking about experiences/feelings might be a good idea? or a discord server? or, if that's not feasible for you to run something like that right now, tbh, the mods here might be interested in making a tumblr community.

either way, i'm rooting for you, ok? sending virtual hugs.

-mod charlie

Do you think it would help to keep a journal about your feelings? It could be digital or physical, and that way you don't have to see term/flag posts. Of course, this doesn't solve any feelings of not having other people to discuss with, but you would at least have some sort of outlet. -Mod Ally🍄

[heartless-aro]

2 and 12 for the aplatonic ask

2. Is there any intersection with your aplatonic identity and other identities you have?

Okay, so this one is a bit of a long explanation. The biggest intersection would probably be the intersection between my aplatonicism and my neurodivergence, since my aplatonicism is intrinsically linked to my schizoid personality disorder. For those unfamiliar with SzPD, in order to receive a diagnosis (as I have), you must meet the general criteria for a personality disorder as well as at least four of the following:

1. Neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family

2. Almost always chooses solitary activities

3. Has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person

4. Takes pleasure in few, if any, activities

5. Lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives

6. Appears indifferent to the praise or criticism of others

7. Shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity

Now, while some of these criteria are certainly VERY flawed (for reasons that are probably obvious to most aspecs if you think about it for even just a minute) and can be difficult to distinguish from similar conditions like other personality disorders, autism, and depression, this does not change the fact that this is a very real condition, and it happens to be one which has had a serious impact on my life. It interferes with my ability to enjoy my hobbies, my ability to feel pleasure from my successes, my ability to motivate myself, to empathize with others, to fully feel and express my emotions (including positive feelings such as excitement and joy as well as negative ones like anger and grief), and—of course—my ability to form and maintain friendships.

I have people in my life who I care about, but it is very difficult for me to enjoy spending time with them or to want to seek out their company. This includes friends, and it includes family members as well. I enjoy socializing a bit more when it’s at a distance, such as through texting, social media, or online forums. Whenever I’m interacting with someone face-to-face, even if they’re one of my favorite people in the world, I often spend most of my time thinking about how badly I want to go home and isolate myself for as long as I can get away with.

So, how does this play into my aplatonicism? I find that I’m sometimes able to feel an initial spark of what I think is platonic attraction, if someone seems particularly cool or interesting to me and—because I admittedly have a bit of an ego, even if I keep that to myself well enough—I like trying to get them to like me or find me interesting and impressive. (Unfortunately, appearing indifferent to praise or criticism is not the same as actually being indifferent to praise and criticism. Tragic, I know.).

But once I’ve had some time to get to know a person and gotten past the phase of getting their praise or approval, I tend to lose interest, because the next phase would be actually building a deep and meaningful platonic relationship (which is something I struggle to find pleasure in). As a result, that initial spark of platonic attraction fades pretty quickly. If I had to put a microlabel on it, I’d maybe call myself lithplatonic?

12. Thoughts on the "power of friendship" trope? And other similar platonic-heavy tropes and stories?

My feelings about this are a little complicated, because while I do think it’s a bit platonormative, I also think that it can make a bit of sense, because there is strength in numbers, and sometimes accepting help (as much as I tend to avoid doing so myself) is the best way to accomplish your goals and make it through hardship. I think my main problem with tropes like these are that they tend to imply that it has to be friendship that you draw your strength from, and if you don’t have friends, then you’re evil/bad/weak/whatever. I do understand why a lot of alloplatonic people in the aro community gravitate towards that trope though, and I think it says a lot about how society tends to rank relationships that “love conquers all” is a theme which is treated as suitable for adult media, whereas “power of friendship” is seen as more infantile and less serious.

[just-antithings]

Probably an Asshole Move(TM) but we have simply. Chosen to not care about DNIs anymore. Because people will seriously put them on gender coining posts like bitch/bastard identities do not have a DNI. That's mot fandom, that is an IDENTITY youvare talking about now, we would get it it is was fandom but would still question why you are just not blockng people but...

And then they will ask you to not repost/re-upload/recoin or screenshot and it's like:

What did you THINK was going to happen???? If you put a huge DNI banner on your post or put a DNI on your terms???

We do not know of another way to handle it especially when so much of the microlabel community wails so much against like, accidental re-coining/convergent re-coining/etc. and wants clarity for something we see as a way to make the clarity less.

.

[anendoandfriendo]

Okay so now that we got your attention through a meme —

To be honest, this is why we would support the abolishment of the DSM alongside capitalism in favor of simply letting the person dictate what they need. That's still an oversimplification but like...let's just talk about an example that's been grating on us since day one of seeing it (and is only in our labels hoard because it's the current closest fit).

Community-defined wordage for low support autism is literally (from [the?] mogai dragon actually iwrc):

Low Support Autistic (LSP; LSAP; Low Support Person; Low Support Autistic Person) - Anyone who more often than not lives independently and may only need assistance with minor things like balancing a checkbook, getting started on some tasks like organizing a garage sale or arranging to move from one house to another.

If your definition of low support needs (or your definition of ANY support needs) involves a checkbook, at least if you are based in the US then you're hopelessly out of date. Fucking NOBODY uses checkbooks anymore (we have literally asked the bank before and they always seem surprised to see anyone who's from generation z asking them).

The rest of the stuff being listed is stuff that is a bunch of huge tasks that ANYONE would need help with.

So, it's literally the autistic community that's needlessly pathologizing behavior at this point, not the allistics.

Like, please understand that when we say we are low support we mean we are NO support actually, because we actually know how to fucking look at what people do and see when it is bullshit to imply specific things are abnormal (or assume abnormal means pathology).

No shade on people who actually are low support and have more extreme needs that would fall under this label. "Letting the individual advocate for what they need in theie communities" also means AAC, caregivers when needed, and stuff that is already there (<- which, tbf, may not be low support needs but we are worried enough that can see y'all trying to use medium support, supportflux, and high support folks as tokens already). We just think as things stand the current psychiatric system is extremely gate-keepy and gaslight-y.

So we just...

Ugh. It's more just....we wish there was a "no support autistic" label flag. It'd probably fall more under either enorder or like a neutrally-defined secret fourth thing (third thing would be enordisorders).

Like, SURE, we could just do that on our side blog and have something by tomorrow, but we feel like we'd be drawn and quartered by the MOGAI and LIOM microlabel communities. Because god forbid anyone actually has the critical thinking skills to deconstruct what psychiatry is and identify that it's one of the main sources of neurodivergent oppression.

[irlbkgs]

T.T, >.<, o.e, & :^* !! with whoever of your choosing <3

wahhh ty!! gonna do lestat, stan and simon my bbygrls

T.T - What show/book/etc from your childhood would you be most excited to show your f/o? What do they think?

for lestat it's definitely hbo's happily ever after (the movie not the show) bc i think he'd unironically get invested and love the whimsy of it and the very obvious lesbian energy from the dwarfelles. it'd be one of those daniel memes but with me (dallas. dallas ze prince has been cursed, dallas! how could zey take away his beauty, mon cher? why must zey punish him so? / dallas. dallas zis owl es so inspirational! ze lyrics, ze use of lightning sound effectz! i must sample zis, dallas! for ze next record, of course.)

for stan he's getting shown crashbox and all grown up. i think crashbox would perfectly appeal to his weird, sometimes offputting sense of humor and the aesthetics are right up his ally. he'd love jumpin johnny jumble and dora schmarmy. with all grown up it'd just remind him a lot of the dynamic him and the losers have <3

and for simon...beyblade metal series ohhhh he'd think it's so dumb and complain about it but when i go to turn it off suddenly it's "no wait i gotta know what gingka's gonna do about ryuga". invested but still pretends he doesn't give af

o.e - What would your f/o’s fursona be? If they’re already an anthro character, what would they look like as a human?

this is such a hard choice omg...

for lestat im thinking possibly a very flashy, rare bird. i don't really know different types but my old english teacher had one that was technically illegal to own in the US but her mother bought it before this law was made so now she just has it and something about that feels so fitting for him. bird that is illegal and flashy, can talk shit and steal from you, but will also pluck out ur enemies eyes. he'd have a very detailed, high end fursuit ofc.

stan would also be a bird for the obvious reasons. maybe a bluejay? or a cardinal? not too uncommon but still very beautiful and loved. uncommon enough where people are still excited when they see em. his fursuit would be hyperrealistic and maybe a bit unsettling but mostly made by himself bc he knows a thing or two about putting together a high quality suit. ben would help with the ventilation and fans part.

for simon the instant thought is opposum, followed by ferret and raccoon. all feel fitting but i think opposum works best. freaky big weirdos who love a good chomp. can be a bit ugly but it adds to the charm. rummages through trash for goods. no fursuit but def has a tail.

>.< - Do you have any xenogender/microlabel headcanons for your f/o?

so for simon id say none bc i think he'd very much be a no labels who gives af do whatever you want forever kinda guy. technically he'd be bisexual but you'd be hard pressed to get him to say anything that wasn't along the lines of "ill take whatevers offered" or something something yeah im a faggot something something and id fuck ur girl something something but he'd also probably have some gender fuckery that could fall under xenogender if he looked into it. i think he'd be fine with literally any pronouns he's just never thought about it and doesn't mind just getting called he/him either.

for stan, no xenogenders or microlabels specifically, its just another thing with fluid sexuality and gender where it's like idk what i am but getting called other pronouns doesn't bother him, he'd be a bit fond of fae pronouns in his teen years i think but idk if it'd stick as he grew and changed identity wise. in terms of sexuality besides being poly and mostly using queer as his label (maybe he'll use bisexual depending on the crowd), i don't rly think he has much going on there.

now lestat is the outlier bc while i don't rly have specific xenogenders picked for him i know there's more pronouns past he/she/they that would appeal to him, he just isn't a fan of ANY pronouns so he mostly uses those 3. in current days i think he'd probably rabbit hole and then come to me like "i will now be using it/xe/heart/etc etc" at like 3 in the morning and then continue on that sorta path for a bit before finally feeling like he's relearned himself a bit. in terms of microlabels, i think his bpd would probably affect how he views his sexuality, so let's chuck hyperromantic in there (not sure if that counts as a microlabel but shrug). he might also consider himself androromantic.

incoming ramble feel free to skip but...

tbh a lot of my f/o's are listed as bi or queer or only using he/him just bc i genuinely do not think they'd care but if they had to choose a label it'd be that one, if that makes sense. a lot of my labels for my f/o's are decided by age (the older they are the more likely they are to use bi over queer or pan), year their media is set in (if it's the 2000s they still might be averse to certain labels, not have heard of them or not had the ability to explore gender) and their general attitude (would they even care about labels to begin with or is it just a fuckfest for them). which is why we have f/o's like adrian (30s, show set in 2022 i believe, would know about social media past facebook and probably use it, positive attitudes towards queerness as a general subject) with the pansexual label vs simon (late 90s to early 2000s setting, in his early 20s, uses fag as an insult but would also kiss a guy) with the queer label bc i think he'd refuse to label himself despite being comfortable in his fluid sexuality but would, realistically, be pansexual. same with him having he/him pronouns bc i just don't think he'd bother exploring other pronouns bc he doesn't have dysphoria, but if somebody were to randomly she/they him he might be like "oh okay i kinda like that". rly the only exception to this rule is demi and trans labels bc i think those are sorta integral to how i read those characters. daryl wouldn't call himself demisexual or demiromantic, but he'd call himself bisexual over any other label. so i label him as bi and slap the demi on bc it's pretty key to the irvixon lore. same with billy who'd never admit to being trans or call himself demi but to me he is and that's lore relevant so i put it down. idk if this system makes any sense to anyone else but what im saying is that the labels in my carrd can be very different to how i ACTUALLY view their gender/sexuality.

:^* - Who would be your f/o’s favorite character from My Little Pony and why? What about yours?

so lestat's is obviously rarity bc that's twin BUT he'd have a mega soft spot for applejack me thinks

stan is very twilight coded but i think that's exactly why she WOULDNT be his fave...i think he'd lean towards pinkie or rainbow (both remind him of richie at times) or fluttershy (who doesn't love her)

and simon is a fluttershy girl idc idc!!!! he thinks fluttershy and discord are cute together too

[erigold13261]

you are a wise person, and i have a question. how exactly do you describe asexuality and aromanticism? what makes it different?

I don't think I'm that wise, but I guess that is something about yourself that is hard to gauge without an outsider's perspective. (also this is probably gonna be a mess of a post and a bit all over the place because I kinda just woke up and have work soon, sorry lol)

Just by labels alone, asexuality is little to no SEXUAL attraction to others, while aromanticism is little to no ROMANTIC attraction to others. Technically you can still have some attraction (sexual or romantic) and still be aro and/or ace.

Though if you can't tell the difference from sexual and romantic attraction then those definitions don't really help all that much. I've seen plenty of posts and even heard people IRL say stuff like a marriage without sex is a loveless marriage or how once the fun in the sheets dies then the relationship is over.

Which can be a pretty big problem for aro/ace people who show love in different ways that might not be sexual (there are still aro/ace people who have sex either because of high libido, wanting to please their partners, or just liking sex without the attraction part which is another thing that other labels and non-queer people sometimes have a hard time understanding).

This is why, for me, it is hard to explain the difference between aromanticism and asexuality, because not everyone knows/cares about the difference between sex and romance.

I don't know if my lack of wanting to be touched by others is an asexual thing, an autistic thing, or a trauma response. Same with my lack of romantic interest being aromantic or autistic or an introvert thing. To me, these identities are really hard to define or even realize you are part of because it is the LACK of attraction.

I very much thought I was pansexual or bisexual for a very long time because I had that "I feel the same way to everyone" idea, only to later find out I just don't have any feelings and it's a 0+0=0 deal.

I'm pretty sure it was actually a microlabel that made me realize I was actually asexual! (which is why I am a defender of microlabels because I needed to know the specific way I felt was included under an umbrella term before I realized I was actually under that term. I still struggle calling myself trans even though genderfluid is under the trans umbrella).

But yea! I'm Aegosexual, meaning "individuals on the asexual spectrum who feel disconnected from the subject of arousal." You can have sexual desires but not related to you, or have no interest in being a part of the sexual fantasy you have yourself.

I only EVER had sexual desires for fictional characters and never had any kind of desire to be with a real life human at all (which I think is because of my touch aversion). And even with those characters, I never had fully detailed desires or fantasies. Nothing ever went all the way and it's mostly just cuddles and make out sessions.

Really I just put all these pieces together, found a microlabel that worked for me, and then worked backwards because my specific situation fit that label and got me to the Asexual label.

I basically knew by that point I was not sexually interested in others at all. So it wasn't a true surprise that I realized I was asexual. I was able to disconnect sex and romance pretty well so I thought I was homoromantic asexual (or biromantic, again, I didn't realize I was aromantic at the time so I was again doing the 0+0=0 thing but for romance this time lol).

I only recently started identifying as aromantic because I just realized I was okay in never having a relationship with another person. The only person I ever saw myself getting into a relationship with is my best friend and I think THAT was only because of heteronormitivity being pushed onto me that I very much got over.

It doesn't help that most of the time if I don't see a friend (or family member) in front of me/in my life for a while, I just sort of push them out of my mind and forget about them. It's an object permanence kind of situation I have where I just don't connect people to me unless I can see them/interact with them. Which probably helped me realize I wouldn't be good in a relationship as I would be distant and sucky as a partner.

That realization I would be a shit partner as well as only feeling compelled to be in a relationship because of heteronormitivity or because I didn't want to say no to a friend that asked really ended up sealing the deal for me later on that I was aromantic.

Okay, sorry for the personal analogies and stuff. But that is the best way I can describe aromanticism and asexuality. I know I kinda skated around the topics, but to me these labels are feelings, or lack of feelings, that I had to come to terms to and realize what they meant for me.

It also doesn't help that people have different ideas of what sex and romance are. What could be seen as a romantic dinner date between two people could end up just being a casual hang out between two friends. Or sex is just a fun past time instead of a super intimate moment between two people.

If you don't see stuff like hand holding or sex as intimate actions, or have any romance or sexual desires behind them, then you could be aromantic and/or asexual but others would think you aren't.

I know my sister thinks if you have sex you can't be asexual even though I've told her countless times that you can have a high libido, just like the action, or want to make your partner happy all without actually being sexually attracted to them and yet she still says if you have sex you can't be asexual.

It really is hard to define these labels (and other labels too honestly) because everyone has a different idea of what counts as sex or romance. But if you can disconnect sex and romance, and realize you have one or the other (or neither), then you have a better chance of realizing if you are or aren't asexual/aromantic.

For me it was thinking of my future and wondering if I would ever be okay marrying, having a relationship, having sex, doing all the stereotypical "loving" things, and I realized that no. I would not be able to do that.

I will admit, I am a selfish person. I have a hard time caring about other people, but when I do I care deeply about them. But even then, if they are not near me, or if they have something I can't relate to, I end up not actually caring. Though I do still try to be there for friends and family, and act like I do care, but I honestly don't.

I think that kind of mindset also helped me realize I was aroace. As I can't care enough to be a good partner or even try to get a partner, and I know I wouldn't care enough to put their needs over mine (or compromise on sex/romance/touching) at all.

Basically I felt an ick thinking of being in a relationship (whether it was a sexless one, a romanceless one, both, or a "normal" one, I just couldn't do it in my head) and let that help me decide if I was aromantic and asexual.

Probably not the best way to do it, and this was probably not the best explanation at all (because my two sides are highly technical definition or very personal stories when it comes to explanations apparently), but this is how I differentiate the two for others, even though to me they are a connected label of aroace.

[practically-an-x-man]

1, 3, 6, 7, 9, 10 for Kestrel and Quinn?

Thank you so much!!

Pride Themed OC Ask Game

1. What's your oc's gender identity? What's their relationship to their gender?

Kestrel: Genderfluid, and sees it as an inextricable part of themself. They're very comfortable with their gender, even when they get insecure about other parts of their identity.

Quinn: Transgender woman - technically she could call herself a demigirl since she uses both she and they pronouns interchangeably, but she personally doesn't feel as comfortable with the microlabels. She's a woman! Simple as that. Dysphoria comes and goes, but for the most part they're comfortable with who they are.

3. How did your oc discover themself? Did something cause them to question, or did they always know?

Kestrel: Always knew. The "default state" for a changeling is to be genderfluid, since every part of their identity is naturally fluid, and Kestrel has always known that they were a changeling.

Quinn: Discovered herself while in uni. She'd gone to a drag show with a couple of queer friends, and from there went from "oh that looks fun" to "I really like being perceived as a woman" to "holy shit I think I am a woman" with the support and encouragement of her friend group.

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

Kestrel: Literally cool with anything. Will accept any label they're told unconditionally and without question. This has the benefit of simultaneously making fellow queer people feel comfortable and pissing transphobes off like there's no tomorrow ("And what are your pronouns?" "My pronouns are beep/boop" "Oh yeah, beep was just telling me-"). For themself, they tend to stick to simpler labels, but they're accepting of all queer folks.

Quinn: Kind of a similar story, honestly. She tends to stick to simpler labels and doesn't feel the need to label every intricacy of her identity (see answer to question 1), but she's absolutely cool with others' labels. Like Kestrel, she'll accept any pronouns she's given as a subtle fuck-off to transphobes; but unlike Kestrel, Quinn will straight-up punch a TERF in the face if the situation presents itself.

7. Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?

Kestrel: Their identity as Kestrel? Absolutely. It's not set in stone and doesn't feel innate to them, since changelings are made to be creatures of completely fluid identity and sticking to a particular persona/identity is a little unheard of. But in terms of their genderfluidity specifically... no, not really. They're more than comfortable with that aspect of themself.

Quinn: Oh, she's had a lot of ups and downs. First it was when her parents disowned her, and she wondered if it was worth "just being a boy" so that it would be easier. Then it was when she started experimenting with her style and presentation and wondered if she was "really female" when she didn't want long hair, didn't want to dress feminine, didn't want gender reassignment surgeries or hormone replacement, etc.. By now, she's comfortable with who she is, but it took a lot to get there.

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

Kestrel: As a changeling, their genderfluidity is inextricably tied to their identity. If you read Taking Flight, you'll notice that most (but not all) of Kestrel's gender shifts occur during or after them transforming into another type of animal - metaphorical, yes, but also showing how their fluidity is linked to who they are. I'm actually really proud of how I've put together the whole changeling species, language, culture, etc.. Exploring Kestrel's background is a big part of Taking Flight.

Quinn: Not really? She's a white girl from London, middle-class (at least until her parents disowned her, then she was effectively homeless), and not from a strongly religious family. Any cultural views on her identity probably came when she first joined the quote-unquote "wolf pack" after Billy found her - that little band of thieves had its own sort of culture, made up of a lot of poor folks from various backgrounds and minority groups, and it helped Quinn adopt a generally very open-minded view on culture and identity.

10. Does your oc celebrate Pride? How?

Kestrel: Not really? For one thing, they don't necessarily perceive their genderfluidity as a queer identity the way a human person would, so they don't entirely understand the desire to celebrate it. For another, they do a lot of travel for their job, and that usually doesn't like up with the schedules of Pride festivals and events, so they don't usually get the chance to attend even if they wanted to. I could see them enjoying a Pride festival if they did go, they just haven't really been introduced to it yet.

Quinn: She's attended a few Pride festivals while in uni, but hasn't been to any since she started thieving. First she was worried about cops at Pride, then she was just too busy with thieving jobs, then it wasn't worth the pain of standing and walking all day. They'd like to go to another festival someday, though.

[sushisocks]

Real question, not trolling or asking maliciously; how can you be aroace and also a lesbian? If that’s aro/aspec then I understand, but I thought that aroace was the lack of attraction, and being a lesbian indicates presence of attraction?

Thanks, sorry, have a good weekend

Hiya sweetheart, no need to apologize, and thank you for asking!!

So, for me, it's mainly a case of 'which labels fit best'. I call myself aroace but am probably better described aro/aspec, as you say, where I slide a little bit on the scale sometimes. It's just not enough for me to actively pursue anything like 99% of the time, and I don't have the time/energy to deal with microlabels, when aroace fits me just as well. An important aspect to me here is also that while I'm aroace I'm not strictly sex or romance averse, which probably informs some of my feeling like I 'slide' on the scale every now and then -- and if I am to pursue anything seriously, at the moment I only really see myself with another woman.

There IS also the concept, within the aroace community, of tertiary attraction, ie attraction to people based on aspects that are not sexual/romantic, like aesthetic attraction. For me, if there is to be any attraction, in any form, it's usually towards women.

That all said, I'm a very big advocate for sexuality having fluidity, so it's not like I'm super strict about these labels for myself. IRL I usually just refer to myself as queer, and let people draw their own conclusions. I am secure in both my asexuality and my 'if I had to pick a gender to be with, itd be a woman no contest' frame of mind, so for now I use the labels I think represent me the best, and that come with the communities of people I feel kinship with, and leave it at that :3

Hope that answered your question!

[gildedphoenixx]

the more we exist as a system the more I'm starting to think we don't have any gatekeepers.

the alters we originally thought were gatekeepers don't actually do any organizing or system management. they're never seen. they don't control who's fronting or divide the system. we as alters do all of it. there's so many of us that we work as a unit to slowly work around and talk to move and strengthen or weaken barriers and move throughout the system. we control switches by asking or triggering music... sometimes it works (most of the time it doesnt). like. these community labels that we latched on to very early in our discovery literally don't apply to us at all any more. we sent have a host either (buy that's a whole other post).

the "gatekeepers" are more like really specific protectors. they stick to one or a small group of alters and only front or co-front one very rare occasions. like we've seen them maybe three times each. they're there... they're just not "gatekeepers".

anyways, I just found this interesting. it's just another example of how our system doesn't fit into labels despite how much we want it to. which younger us would hate lol. we used to be obsessed with microlabels and stuff. I wonder if there's a part of us that still is... probably but that's for another day.