#trauma journey
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We all know at this point that the name Astarion is connected to the word "star" (starry or little star).
But Larian decided that they wanted to go all in with the details and they delivered!
The flower you can place on his tomb in the final romance scene (which I think is such a cute and tender gesture and I love his reaction to it), seems to be an Ornithogalum umbellatum, a star-shaped white flower with six petals. Among the plant's many common names, there are summer snowflake, starflower, and star-of-Bethlehem.
Moreover, in the language of flowers, its meanings are related to trauma, mourning, and welcoming pain without repressing it.
According to Doctor Edward Bach (1886 – 1936), these flowers are "For those who find themselves in a state of great anguish due to situations that, in a given period, have caused so much unhappiness", and can be used to help with the aftermath of a trauma, the alleviation of pain and the mourning process.
Edit: every time I see an artist include this flower in their Astarion fanart my heart swells with joy. Love this community
#Alright I'm gonna go cry#as if that scene didn't already break me#I love the good/spawn ending so much#it's such a lovely testament to the journey to overcome trauma and start the healing process#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate iii#bg3 astarion#language of flowers#bg3 spoilers
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may you heal from the things you don't talk about 🦋
Digital illustration of a brown fem wearing a dress strappy dress with high cut slits on the skirt. She has body hair, long blueish hair and morpho butterfly wing earrings. Text reads, 'may you heal from the things you don't talk about.'
#art#feminism#feminist#self care#self healing#healing#healing journey#mental health#trauma#trauma recovery#recovery
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love elizabeth s.
#self love#healing#quotes#love elizabeth s#original quote#life quotes#life qoute#hopecore#hope#love#mental health#healing journey#self care#selflove#self improvement#poetry#my poem#original poem#short poem#relationships#trauma#complex ptsd#this is a girlblog#girlhood#dark academia quotes#self help#self healing#health and wellness#wellbeing#therapy
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˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
#recovery#trauma recovery#recovery journey#ed recovery#pastelcore#girlblogging#girlblogger#girljournal#positive thoughts#girlhood#womenhood#self love#self care#self worth#mental health#self healing#healing journey#new energy#girly blog#pinterest girl#tumblr girls#girly tumblr#just girly things#im just a girl#just girls being girls#health and wellness#gentle reminder#gentle suggestions#actually mentally ill
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Edwin Payne Really Fucking Cares: A Short Essay
Was re-watching ep 1 and something stood out to me like never before:
Edwin Payne cares. Like, he cares *so deeply*. He tries his very best to remain calm, cold, and collected, but there are moments where truly visceral emotions slip through the cracks in his facade.
(Please excuse the obvious, distracting play button in the middle of the pics; there's only so much I can do with my pirating app 😂)

But this- this is just as he catches his first glimpse of Becky Aspen, under the piles of discarded clothes and bones. You can see the way his heart drops, how affected he is at the prospect of finding this little girl's corpse.

This is as he starts trying to unbury her. He is so viscerally distraught- just LOOK at that face. He is terrified that they were too late to save her. Terrified that he didn't do enough. Terrified that he has failed to save an innocent life.

While he's listening for her heartbeat, you can just see how desperately he is begging for her to still be alive. Look at him!! That is a boy that is fucking *scared*. He is so worried about Becky, and he doesn't even know her! All he knows is that she is innocent, and all he can do is pray that he is not the reason she is dead.

And this? This is when he's screaming at Charles, telling him that Becky is here, that she is alive, that they were not too late. Look at his eyes. Look at his brows. That is the face of someone who is desperate - to save her, to keep her safe, to get her away from the imminent threat of Esther Finch.
As if that wasn't enough to think about, there's a little voice in my head that is telling me something else: while he's down in that snake pit, Edwin is not truly seeing Becky Aspen as just another case. He's seeing himself.
Think about it. He's surrounded by heaps and heaps of bones, torn clothing, the memories of lives so cruelly and unfairly snuffed out.
He looks at her, covered in the disjointed remnants of death, and he sees himself back in the dollhouse. He sees himself being torn apart by the spider demon, covered in his own blood and guts, the terrible reminders of the inevitability of his pain.
It is in these brief moments where his facade falls that we can see Edwin's actual motivation: he is looking at Becky, but he can only see himself. Edwin Payne is a good person, but I don't think he was thinking rationally right here. He was thinking through the lens of his own trauma.
He wants to save Becky, not out of a conscious desire to do good, but a base, instinctual need to protect her in the same way he never was. He is doing this for her because no one ever did it for him.
After Charles pulls him out of the void, we can see that Edwin is well and truly shaken. It even takes him a good minute (and Charles' help) to get back on his feet! He blames it on the snake, but I wonder how much of that was to save face and keep Charles from asking questions.
Edwin doesn't like to talk about Hell, and for good reason, but he cannot hide the fact that he was rattled by what he saw down there. He knows that Charles knows him well enough to clock that immediately, so he brushes it off with the reference to " ... a very large snake."
Idk I'm just rambling at this point. But there's something so incredibly *real* in his expressions during this scene. For a few brief moments, we see him display emotions that very painfully parallel ep 7, where we once again see him acting through the lense of deeply ingrained trauma.
Just. Mhhhh 🤌 Chef's kiss, and hats off to George for playing such a real character 👏
#edwin payne your emotional journey means so much to me#edwin payne has a heart#he just also has a shit ton of trauma#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin payne#becky aspen#esther finch#character study#short essay#trauma#hell#my screenshots
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#healing#transitioning#transition#lgbt#trans#transgender#ftm#mtf#trans masc#trans femme#trans feminine#trans masculine#trans man#boyflux#c ptsd#healing from trauma#trauma healing#journey
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day 6 || this era lasted like 2 minutes but i love it anyway
#daily gi-hun#art post#redhead gi-hun my beloved#i know i barely ever draw him w/ red hair its not on purpose i swear#god this era of gi-hun in general is just so. hes exquisite to me okay#all eras of gi-hun are exquisite jsyk but while we r on the topic of this one#ppl kinda misunderstand this gi-hun lots i think. it was esp bad in 2021 i remember when he turned around before getting on the plane#hes not healed. like. At All.#if im being honest i dont even think this couldve been the START of a healing journey for him#other people have pointed this out before but like. what was he gonna do in america#that guilt would still follow him there. the trauma and ptsd would still be a huge part of his life#and its not like there are readily available resources for dealing with the trauma of going thru a death game#yeah he'd get to be with his daughter but ga-yeong is very perceptive and i think she'd notice the changes within her dads personality#which could even put a different kind of strain on their relationship thats different from the kind that existed before#gi-hun could only rlly distract himself for so long. i feel like even if he did go to america it'd just be a matter of time before he >#> couldnt take it anymore and went back to stop the games OR. something.. Worse.#its just not the kind of person gi-hun is. to forget like people want him to. thats just not him im sorry#there was never a world where he got on that plane and left it behind for good#anyway whatever i dont think we should shame a guy for trying to stop mass murder#yea we can debate all day about the effects his self isolation had on other people but i will NOT back down on him being right for TRYING#(side note: you can acknowledge gi-huns isolation had negative effects on other people [ie his daughter] WITHOUT VICTIM BLAMING HIM)#squid game#seong gihun#seong gi hun#squid game fanart#my art#doodle
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#spirituality#universe#spiritual journey#spiritual awakening#spiritual growth#spiritual awareness#spirit#spiritual#love#spiritual community#manifestation community#generationalwealth#generational trauma#generational healing#spiritual healing
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y’all ever wonder if the reason neil was so obsessed with kevin and riko growing up is because they were the only children his age that he ever got to spend any kind of time with, engaging in the only kind of play he was allowed, and therefore exy, kevin, and riko were his only external point of reference for what it feels to belong besides his mother?
exy and belonging are so horribly intertwined, no wonder this boy couldn’t stay away from the sport after he lost her! she was the only other anchor of belonging he had during eight of the most formative years of his life. second to her was exy, kevin, and riko.
neil josten, just obsessively hanging onto whatever keeps him feeling real
#aftg#tfc#neil josten#jenn speaks#sometimes i think about how neil’s journey is not just of healing trauma but healing grief over his mom#and i kinda want to cry about it every time
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the time you spent healing is not wasteful and you can still feel sad about the things you missed out on because you took time to heal.
#i am learning!!!!!#trauma recovery#be kind to yourself#positive self talk#actually traumatized#complex trauma#healing#gentle reminder#actually bpd#self love#cptsd healing#cptsd survivor#cptsd recovery#living with cptsd#just cptsd things#cptsd coping#traumatic childhood#childhood trauma#complex ptsd#self acceptance#recovery quotes#healing journey#self compassion#self awareness#mental health#recovery#yourhealingjournal
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The artist vs the art 🌀
all digital collages made without use of ai tech
#digital artist#digital art#collage#collage art#surreal#cptsd art#trauma#dark aesthetic#art#underground artist#female artists#artists on tumblr#cosmic art#cosmic#outer space#space#trippy#dark surrealism#surrealism#mixed media#dark feminine energy#healing#cptsd recovery#self healing#grunge#spiritual journey#spirituality
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#same energy aka the aftermath of dealing with evan 'chaotic bi' buckley #what makes this even funnier is that he's talking about each of them to other
#911 abc#cinematv#filmtvcentral#userthing#911edit#smallscreensource#dailyflicks#userstream#tvarchive#filmtvtoday#dailykinley#cinemapix#bucktommy#tommy kinard#their face journeys lmao he literally just word vomited information at them like it was a regular monday morning#they're gonna become besties & trauma bond drinking wine & chatting s*it about having to deal with buck as a brother & boyf#about how they love him but he drives them insane (affectionately)
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#healing#ancestors#generational trauma#self growth#self improvement#quotes#spiritual#inspiration#life#soul#inspirational#spirituality#universe#love#spirit#spiritual community#spiritual awareness#spiritual awakening#spiritual development#spiritual healing#spiritual journey#spiritualgrowth#spiritualguidance#spiritual growth#motivational#motivation
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#girlblogging#lizzy grant#female manipulator#female rage#girl interrupted syndrome#girl things#hell is a teenage girl#girlhood#female hysteria#femcel#religion#catholic#catholiscism#religious trauma#spiritual psychosis#spiritual awakening#spiritual journey#spirituality#guardian angel#angelcore#im just a girl#girl interrupted#the virgin suicides#girlcore#manic pixie dream girl#girlblog#girlblogger#weird girl#esoteric#just girly things
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I'm supposed to be sleeping but Google decided to flood me with old pics from 2017 since I switched back from an Apple phone. (I hate Apple) So reliving both beautiful and fuckin' god damn awful, terrible, nightmarish memories.
Deciding to share some of the cherry picked, more pleasant ones here. This should give a contrast for how far I've come since then and also show off some doodles.










Also... I'm kind of perturbed I've been carrying around a lot of the same traumas and issues from back then. I'mma... I'mma submit myself to therapy... Probably >.> It's daunting...
Like... I'm still subject to rapid mood swings, my disassociation has gotten worse since then before recently starting to get better, still find myself engaging in risky behaviour, still have co-dependency issues, still struggle with executive functions, still cunty, still need to work on empathy and tact, etc... That's not to discount the progress I've made though.
#lgbtqiia+#lgbtqiia#lgbtqia+#lgbtqia#lgbtq+#lgbtq#transgender#trans#trans woman#trans feminine#trans fem#trans femme#trans girl#hrt#hrt estrogen#hrt journey#dear diary#That was my first attempt#My body transitioned back when I ran outta meds#And the trauma#Had to go back in the closet#Mostly#Kept my name#is mine#My one victory#This is the second transition attempt#Transition 2: Electric Boogaloo#Ack...#i should be sleeping
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#universe#spirituality#spiritual awakening#spiritual journey#spiritual growth#spirit#spiritual awareness#love#spiritual community#spiritual#spiritual guidance#spiritual healing#spiritual enlightenment#generationalwealth#generational trauma#generational healing#light#lightworker#life#inspiration quotes#spiritual quotes#human existence#human experience
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