42h-0-blog

[42h-0-blog]

xxx

[42h-0-blog]

𝖃𝖊𝖓𝖔 / ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕆𝕟𝕖

Nothing works out the way you want it unless you're rich or God.

I deeply inhale the smell of the ocean. It's night time, yet here I am alone on the beach. I had come to the shore to get my mind off things, but all I did was think more than ever.

Pitiful.

I crouch down and draw a heart in the sand.

Will I ever wake up and be happy to be alive?

Every day, I'm never in the moment. I just think about the moments that I've missed. I fancy the idea of being numb, but that's a lie.

It hurts. Being myself hurts.

How could I have lived my life better?

My thoughts haunt me... Is this normal?

The waves washed my sand art away. How cliche--

What is this voice in my mind? The truth.

My eyes prickle with tears as I wallow in my self-pity.

I stand up, wipe away the tears that never fell, and inhale the sea air again deeply.

Stretching and analyzing the ocean, I consider for a moment making a wish.

Ha! A wish?

Despite my doubt, the idea lingers.

It wouldn't hurt to make a silly little wish. What could go wrong? I won't even remember it. It doesn't matter. What would I wish for? How do I even do this sort of silly thing? Is it like praying? Do I ask God for my wish? Who am I talking to? Myself.

I scan the night sky for a star to focus my wish on. I remember singing twinkle, twinkle, little star with my parents when I was a child.

{Fade to thought}

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

"Please stop crying, Stella!" my father begged my little sister, glancing at her in the rear-view mirror while driving our family home.

My mother turned around and smiled at us, "Let's sing twinkle twinkle little star"

Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are! Up, above the world so high; Like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are.

My sister stopped crying and listened with wide, tear glistening eyes.

Mommy, Daddy, and I sang together in the car riding home.

The end.

{Fade to reality}

What would I wish for?

I stared at a star that shined the brightest. From Orion, looking southeast: Sirius.

I felt a longing for that star. It twinkled, and I watched blankly.

The great thing about being in the middle of nowhere is that you can see the night sky clearer.

I want a reason to live.

I snapped out of my trance.

What?

My heart is throbbing. I stand up, turn around, and walk away from the shore. Sandals on, I head to the boardwalk.

Someone is sitting on the benches at the end of the path. They're hunched over.

I try to hush my footsteps to avoid drawing their attention. I don't look at them. I walk briskly.

"Hey"

Run.

I turn at the figure, my eyes narrowing in on him in the dark. It's a young man with black hair.

"My phone is dead. What time is it?"

I glance down at my smartwatch, quickly replying "1:11 AM", before walking away.

"Hey!"

Dread.

I turn to him again.

He stands up slowly, pulling his hands out of his sweater pockets and holding his open palms up next to his ears.

"I'm supposed to meet someone here, but they haven't come. Can I perhaps get directions to the subway? My phone is dead... I don't know this area." He chuckled. He stepped under the boardwalk lamp better and my heart is throbbing. What?

"I-- uh"

Danger.

I glance at the stairs I was headed to and look back at him. He had followed my gaze and then looked back at me, too.

Lie.

"You need walk to 114th. It's labeled on the boardwalk down there." I point down the boardwalk. "Walk down that street and you'll find the subway. Good night."

I walk away briskly.

"Okay! Thanks!" He yelled after me.

Once I skip down the stairs off the boardwalk, I practically run to the subway.

Why am I so afraid? I hope he doesn't get to the subway before I do. I don't want to meet him again. But why am I so afraid?

I get to the subway in practically 2 minutes. I did run. My breath was short and heavy, so I forced myself to take deep breaths as I climbed the subway stairs... I pull out my subway card and swipe myself on to the platform. I pull out my headphones and begin untangling them as I make my way to the seats. I take a seat on the end and finally untangle my headphones and plug them in my ears.

I open Spotifu and play my Hol Baumann playlist on shuffle.

Someone's sitting on the other end of the seats. I don't look at them. The train comes and we both get on. The train is empty. I sit in the window seat closest to me.

Someone sits next to me.

What?!

I turn around startled at the person.

How?!

"Get the fuck away from me!" I blurt out at the man I met on the boardwalk.

"Ah sorry!" He gets up and moves to the seat in front of me, grinning ear to ear,

"I really want to thank you for your directions."

He pulled out his wallet, whipped out a colorful and crisp $100 bill, and held it out to me.

Is he real?

I scowled at him and looked closer at his features. He was handsome.

"How old are you?" I asked monotone.

His sharp eyebrows twitch surprise before an asymmetrical smirk, "I'm 25" he says, staring into my eyes.

My heart throbs again. His voice is deep and husky. It doesn't match his features, which seem immature; childlike. He looks 18. I look at his attire: black hoodie, black jeans, black plain Nikes, black plain baseball hat. He screams "suspicious". I realize he's staring at me analyzing him. My eyes dart back up to his and we meet. He offers the money again, still smirking.

"No, thank you." I reject breaking the eye contact for a moment to glance outside.

He scowls, before pouting "How can I offer my gratitude to you?"

"Go away. Don't sit next to me, the train is empty."

"Aren't you curious how I got here so fast?"

"No-" I reply automatically, but I stop. How?

"I'm not going to tell you~" he sings at me waving the money around.

This guy's fucking crazy. I'm trapped in here with a lunatic!

I look around again frantically for anyone before glaring back at him. The train brakes and the intercom screams "This is 105 St." I scramble for the door.

"Wait, please!" He grabs my wrist.

"Get the fuck off me!!" I scream, twisting my wrist out his grip that wasn't tight to begin with.

The train doors open and I run out them onto the platform. I turn around to see if he's following, but he isn't. He stands at the doors smiling. "Til next time!" he laughs at me. The doors close and the train begins to move. He waves at me until I can't see him anymore. I look around paranoid. I look down at my watch. 1:20 AM

That's it? How?

The next train came in 20 minutes. I got home and tried to sleep, but his features were burned into my mind. The memory of his smirk danced behind my eyes until I fell asleep. For days after that, his face seldom popped into my conscious mind. Neither did my wish.

𝕋𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕦𝕖𝕕...

𝙷𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢?

𝙻𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔!

₋４２Ｈ

[42h-0-blog]

𝖃𝖊𝖓𝖔 / ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕦𝕖

“Stella!” a woman called

Stella gazed up from the novel she was reading and called to her name, “YES?”

“We’re leaving, honey!”

Stella hesitated to fold her book’s page corner, but quickly conceded. This was an emergency she’ll forgive herself for later. She folded the page’s corner delicately and dropped her book down on her bed, springing up and dashing downstairs from her room to meet her parents. 

“Here’s the debit card.” Stella’s mom said sternly while handing her a valuable rectangular piece of plastic. “Don’t drive the cars… not that you could without keys, but still, don’t even dream of it.”

“I know, Mom,” Stella groaned.

“Ut-ut-ut, I’m not done--” her mom said in her infamous cocky-tone, and with her chin up high, “NO unnecessary spending on this card or you’ll starve. Your budget is $20 a day. If you don’t spend anything all week, you’ll have $140 per week for grocery--”

“Don’t you have a flight to catch???” Stella interrupted, clearly becoming agitated. 

Her mother’s face softened and she opened her arms. She almost looked sad to go.

“I know, I’m stalling. Give me a hug, honey.” 

Stella embraced her mom and was more ‘being hugged’ than ‘hugging’. Her mom hugged her tightly for what felt like forever.

BEEEEEP! A car honk came from outside. Stella’s mom broke the hug first and quickly kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Make sure you answer our Skype calls!”, she shouted while gathering her keys and purse. “We’ll be back in 2 weeks!” 

Stella followed her mother to the door and waved to her father who had already began backing out the driveway. Her mother jogged skillfully in her high heel pumps to the passenger door, and seconds before the car sped off, she was in her seat and buckled. Stella felt a strange anxiety in her chest as she waved after the car until it disappeared into a spec. 

Stella peered down at the debit card while shuffling back into the house. She tossed the card on the counter and dragged her feet back upstairs into her room where she collapsed into her bed and curled under her sheets. Her sister should be coming home from high school soon. In just a few minutes, Stella had fallen asleep. 

Buzzzz--Ring, ring...Buzzzz--Ring, ring…Buzzzzz--Ring, ring… 

Stella raised her head from a textbook and glanced around the room. When did I sit at my desk? She wondered.

Buzzzz--Ring, ring… Stella glanced at the cellphone on her desk buzzing and swiped to accept. It was her mother.

“Honey, I forgot a suitcase, I’m on my way home. Come open the door for me, and fetch my suitcase from my room, please. HURRY! *click*”

Stella stuffed her phone into her pants pocket and scurried to her parent’s room. She saw the big, black suitcase laying on its back by the bedside, and she quickly stood it up, heffed it downstairs, unlocked the front door and kicked it down the porch stairs. Like clockwork, Stella’s sister dragged her feet onto the lawn and up the porch as the black Hyondai rental her parents rented swung into the driveway. Their dad stumbled out the car and whisked the suitcase up, “GIRLS! Want to come for the trip?” 

Stella opened her mouth incredulously, but before she could speak, Melody, her sister, chimed, “YES”, and grabbed Stella’s hand to drag her into the backseat of the car. Their dad tossed the suitcase into the trunk and locked the front door up.

Melody bounced in her seat, asking“What about clothes and stuff?”

“Your father and I will just buy you both new outfits there, but we figured 2 weeks was too long of a trip, and since we’re both gone, it would just be better to take you with us. Melody won’t miss too much since it’s the end of the school year, are you okay with it, Stella?”

Stella grunted. She didn’t have on real shoes. She didn’t even have her headphones on. This was actually stupid in her opinion. 

They got to the airport quickly, and Stella felt like an eyesore in a black hoodie, black sweatpants, and Homer Simpson house slippers. They bought new tickets, and surprisingly, they were able to find 2 seats near their parents. They checked in their luggage and while waiting for their flight, they bought Stella some new shoes. After grabbing some quick food, their plane called for boarding. 

Melody seemed the most excited. “I can’t believe we’re going to San Diego! This is a dream come true! Mom, can I get a bikini?” She said this to mom, but was glancing at their Dad. 

Their Dad blushed and glanced out the huge windows of the airport at the planes taking off. “Our girls are growing up so fast, huh, Maria?”

Maria. It was strange hearing their Dad call their mother Maria. He always said honey or sweety. Stella didn’t feel right. The anxiety in her was unbelievable by this point, and she dreaded stepping foot on the plane as she handed over the ticket to be checked and returned to her. Melody held Mom and Dad’s hand, and Mom reached to hold Stella’s hand. Startled, Stella looked down at the hand, then up at her mom. Unsure of this strange anxiety in her, she held her mom’s hand for comfort. She had never been in an airplane before, and neither had Melody. They found their seats and in about 30 minutes, and a few moments after that the flight attendant started the announcements. Melody and her Dad sat behind Stella and her mom. 

Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of our captain and the rest of the crew, I’d like to welcome you aboard Dolta Flight 303, with nonstop service to San Diego, California. Our flight time will be approximately three hours and thirty-three minutes, and we look forward to ensuring that your journey with us today is as pleasant and carefree as possible.

Stella listened keenly to the flight attendant, and squinted at another flight attendant giving some demonstration a few seats above.

Once the announcements were done and everyone was fastened in, the airplane engine began to growl to life, and then they were moving. Melody poked me from behind, “Are you readyyy, Stella?” She giggled. Stella’s anxiety didn’t subside. 

They began to move faster, and the images through her mother’s window sped past them. They heard a loud rev of another engine, and soon enough, Stella’s ears began to pop as the plane took flight. Chatting murmured throughout the cabin of the plane, and after about 15 minutes, the flight attendant spoke again to let everyone know they can walk around the plane. The seat belt light turned off, and everyone unbuckled themselves. Melody was the first to pop up and lean over the back of Stella’s seat. “Mom, what kind of hotel are we staying in?” 

“You’ll see, dear. Your father booked us a great little spot. While we’re working, you both will have plenty to do in the hotel--” DING!

The seat belt sign turned on again. The flight attendant spoke, “The captain has requested that we take our seats and fasten our seat belts, we’ll be experiencing some turbulence.”

Everyone groaned as they clicked their seat belts all throughout the cabin.

BOOM! 

The airplane shook violently. Stella’s head swiveled around to look at her father behind them. He looked weary, but smiled at Stella’s expression and mouthed, “It’s okay..” 

“What’s going on?” Melody asked alarmed. 

The plane began to rock and suddenly, the propeller next to Stella’s mother’s window exploded. The plane dipped sharply to the left, and they heard shrill screaming from all angles. Oxygen masks fell from above each seat, seat belts unbuckled everywhere, and safety jackets were already being yanked on. Stella’s mother, in a panic, pulled Stella’s oxygen mask from above her and pulled it over her face. She pulled her own over her face next. The flight attendant was talking as calmly as she could to calm the panicking crowd already pushing and shoving through the isles towards the emergency exits.

It suddenly felt hot. Very hot. Stella’s vision began to blur. She felt herself being shaken, but she couldn’t bring her thoughts together.

We’re going to die, was all Stella could think over and over.

She thought she heard a whistle. It wouldn’t stop. The whistle was screaming over her thoughts. She looked at the blurred silhouette of her mother shaking her. And suddenly, a bright light accompanied by a deafening boom shocked Stella.

Her eyes burst open and Stella stared at her room ceiling, panting. She gather her bed sheets around her neck and tried to slow down her beating heart by breathing slow, steady breaths. What the hell was that? 

She tried to remember as much of the dream as possible before reaching into her pocket for her phone to check the time. She was only asleep for an hour and a half. 

She hoisted herself out of bed and dragged herself to the kitchen to drink a glass of water, chasing away the images of her nightmare. 

Stella heard the front door shut and her sister appeared in the kitchen,

“You look like shit.” She chirped cheerfully. 

Stella grumbled, “you smell like shit,” before turning away to head back to her room.

“Mom and Dad left?” Melody asked while scanning the fridge.

“Yeah…” 

Images of Stella’s nightmare flashed in her memory again and she felt her agitation with her sister increase.

“Sweet, I’m going to have some friends over, okay?” Melody called to Stella who was now halfway up the stairs.

Stella grunted back, but she didn’t think Melody heard nor did she care. She slammed and locked her room door behind her, found her book and began to read.

About 8 hours later, the doorbell rang. Stella ignored it.

“Stella?” Melody called from downstairs.

Stella ignored her.

“STELLA, COME!” Melody called more alarmed now. Anxiety flooded Stella and she slammed her book shut, not bookmarking the page. She hurried downstairs to the front door. There on the sofa were Melody’s 2 friends from school, Jade and Thomas, but at the front door stood Melody and a strange, tall woman with a poker face in business attire. 

“Are you Stella Mane?” The woman asked.

“Yeah--” Stella peeped. She could feel everyone staring between her and the strange woman.

“May I speak to you both in private?” She asked, waving over Melody’s company.

Melody flinched and nodded to both her friends. They headed upstairs and although you heard a door shut, it was certain that they were eavesdropping.

“Melody Mane, Stella Mane, are you the children of John Mane and Maria Mane?”

The young girls gulped and nodded. Stella felt dread fill her entire being and tears began to gather quickly in her eyes.

The strange woman’s face softened for a brief moment before hardening again,

“Dolta Flight 303 headed to San Diego, CA from Philadelphia, PA experienced a technical issue during the flight. The aircraft unfortunately never made it to its destination.”

Stella’s tears spilled over, stinging her cheeks. They wouldn’t stop. She stared speechless as the woman confirmed her nightmare.

“The aircraft crashed in Ohio. No bodies have been recovered as of yet.”

𝕋𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕦𝕖𝕕...

𝙷𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢?

𝙻𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔!

₋４２Ｈ

[42h-0-blog]

Test

There is a story within me yearning to be told. May I borrow your attention?

I am new to Tumblr. This is my first post. This is a test post. I am curious about the responsiveness of the Tumblr community towards authors and writers. 

I intend on posting my own book, chapter for chapter, on this Tumblr account! I also intend on publishing my original poetry, short stories, and graphic art on this as well.

This will be a long journey. I’m afraid... I fear rejection, judgement, scrutiny, and worst of all....neglect. However, I’ll never conquer my fears until I jump, right? Here I come, Tumblr! Catch me if you can! And if you like my content, please support me by reblogging it!