a-box-of-cereal-having-struggles

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I drenched my hair in deers blood, covered my skin in honey, then decorated it with the shining scales of salmon. I grabbed my black berry basket and walked out into the woods.

The man first noticed me when I was standing in the backyard of my cabin, quite far away from the hiking trail he was on. I did not see him.

I knew these woods well, so I walked down to the river where the black berries grew. On the way I passed by mama bear and her cubs. I knew her well. She often stole from my trash, and I let her. She was a hard working mother, you know. Sometimes I would even sit on my porch and watch her dig through my trash, as long as I kept my distance she would not hurt me.

I gathered my berries by the river a few hundred yards away from papa bear, who was preoccupied with catching salmon. His big paws moved so fast the salmon did have a chance to swim away. But I was safe. Papa bear was happy with his salmon.

The second time the man saw me was when I turned around and started walking home. He ran on ahead of me.

The first time I saw the man was when I walked into my living room.

“Silly girl,” said the medical examiner.

“Should have worn more clothes,” said the defender.

“Shouldn’t have left the front door open,” said the judge.

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Sometimes I sing my thoughts, here’s my current song:

(To the tune of You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift)

She has a brain tumor,

I have an abnormally small amygdala. 

She is Christian,

And I grew up in a cult.

Someday, we’ll wake up and find out what we’re looking for is [pterodactyl noises]

[a-box-of-cereal-having-struggles]

My patients definitely know when I got called in on my day off.

They see me, in my office, curled up in a ball, legs tucked into my sweatshirt, looking half dead, with my messy bun barely holding my hair together, just as I am barely holding myself together.

And then they pop their heads into the office like, “who called out?”

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Me, anytime I put on a silk robe, fur coat, or big fancy dress:

OOOOH! How my life has changed since the sailing accident!

I never thought I would lose Richard so soon after our wedding. He was such a lively old bastard. Only 85 and so full of spunk.

Why we had just visited the doctor the day before the accident and the good old doc told me that I could have expected another wonderful 15 years of matrimonial bliss. He said Richard was just as healthy as ever would probably make it to be a hundred.

Whatever shall I do now with all my wonderful riches.

I mean, without my wonderful Richies. That was my little pet name for him.

Why I am so shattered, so broken, I could never marry another man.

I am doomed to spend the rest of my days alone in Richard’s mansion with my maid, Rose.

Be not astounded if you see her caressing me, for it is in her touch that I find the last little pieces of solace. (In a totally heterosexual way)

Now if you would please excuse me. You must understand, in my weak and feeble state of mourning I cannot handle the public’s attention.

Leave me a Rose alone to our grieving, and ignore any sounds of groaning and screaming. We have been crying, quite ferociously.

[a-box-of-cereal-having-struggles]

I feel like the longing deserves more of a fandom.

Like what’s not to love?

The art?

The cozy home that you can customize?

The commentary on mental health?

THE MUSHROOM FARMS?!

(It doesn’t have multiplayer that’s just bad editing(

[a-box-of-cereal-having-struggles]

Willow Rosenberg vs. Waverly Earp

Dark:

Smiley:

Bossy:

Kissing their girlfriend:

Bonus - Matching outfits:

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Do you delete your tinder account when you get into a new relationship or do you have commitment issues?

[a-box-of-cereal-having-struggles]

Thank you. I’m glad we are appreciate!

shoutout to the "I'm sorry I talk too much" people you are literally saving me so much "oh god how do I keep this conversation going" stress. without you I would straight up fuckin perish

[a-box-of-cereal-having-struggles]

THIS IS MY FAVORITE GENRE OF MEME EVER

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I would cry

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I wanna die I just don’t want to be the reason other people do…

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i actually always get confused with my "left" and "right"

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I dont have a dead name. I have a zombie name. I want it to die, but people keep trying to resurrect it.

[a-box-of-cereal-having-struggles]

Hope Sandoval