abedfulloflies

[abedfulloflies]

TEN WORD STORIES: #060

I did it for us, I wanted forever with you.

[abedfulloflies]

TEN WORD STORIES: #059

Remember when we used to laugh a lot…what happened?

[abedfulloflies]

TEN WORD STORIES: #058

i love you, but i love me so much more.

[abedfulloflies]

TEN WORD STORIES: #057

“it’s not me, it’s you.” he wasn't ready for that.

[abedfulloflies]

TEN WORD STORIES: #056

he wasn’t capable of being faithful, but neither was i. 

[abedfulloflies]

TSWN : Chapter 1

Our beginning was full of laughter, and depth, and intellect, and love; such sweet love. We spoke of everything under the sun; spirituality, family, trauma – a future even. This was different. I felt connected to him and it ran deep through me. I enjoyed the feels and naively allowed them to lead the way. Quite honestly, I had no idea what I was getting myself into but it didn’t matter because I was happy. And I was happy to be happy.

His game was filthy, filled with love and sweet lies. Yet still, there was a charm he possessed that made him damn near irresistible. Judging by the ease of his nature, he was no novice though; victims he had plenty.

I cringe now at the thought of the text messages I once sent him expressing my gratitude for his friendship, his love, and presence in my life. However tempted I may be to feel like a fool though, I know better. I couldn’t have known.

You see this man, he was good at this game. Better than I could’ve ever imagined. Never would I have believed it, until I was left without a choice. Except that I was never given a choice.

He crept and swept in fast… like a gust of wind. Except this wind was the kind that came and brushed your skin in the most perfect way on a hot sunny day right before an uncontrollable storm passed through. And that storm, it did come. But I was unprepared.

[abedfulloflies]

TSWN : Preface

I doubt anyone walks into a room planning to cry, and so my own tears caught me by surprise. But I couldn’t help it.

“I’m gonna make you fall in love with me,” at that moment I should’ve known. But I was too occupied, lost in his love spell.

“Do you love me?” I should’ve never asked. Though if I’m being truthful, I really hadn’t asked the question fishing for the response humanity seems to crave. I was being sarcastic almost. There’s no way. He couldn’t. But he did.

“Yes, I love you.”

Plot twist. 

How? How could he? “Abort. Mission. Now.” My mind spiraled, all the while love sick. I couldn’t breath. He had me captive. No way he meant it like that. He couldn’t. It was just… impossible. Right? And so that’s what I convinced myself — that it wasn’t that. I must’ve misheard and that was that.

What continued from there was — what I refer to — a bed full of lies. Sweet fucking nothings.

In the perfect way that a narcissist does, he affirmed and assured me with words that pierced my soul. He was using my own love language against me and I was too blind to see it. Because I was too caught up feeling it. And it felt fucking good.

Maybe he did mean it…

With the aid of his spells, I convinced myself it was okay to feel. It was okay to be loved despite how broken I had felt in the past or in that moment for that matter. After all, he too reassured me that “it was okay.”

“I got you,” again he plunged deep into my heart with those words and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I didn’t take the promise lightly. But I should’ve.

The truth is, I was so broken that in that moment any ounce of love couldn’t pulled enough dopamines out of me to walk into this fantasy world with him. And so with one hand in his, wrapped around his finger and perfect lies, off I was...

[abedfulloflies]

A Brief Intro

The first time I cried in front of him was the first time he told me he loved me. I didn’t mean to; it just happened. In that moment, I didn’t reciprocate the sentiment and it took some time, albeit not much, for me to utter them back. 

I don’t live life with regrets, but if something I could take back — it’d be the moment I said “I love you too.”

With our naked bodies pressed against one another for the first time, I felt this surge of emotion piercing through me. To date, I still don’t know exactly what it was if not love — perhaps the devil himself.

[abedfulloflies]

ten word stories #55

i knew i loved him because i accepted his flaws.

[abedfulloflies]

TEN WORD STORIES: #054

we laughed together often, but he was just a joke.

[abedfulloflies]

TEN WORD STORIES: #053

telling truths weren’t part of his world, he was damaged. 

[abedfulloflies]

TEN WORD STORIES: #052

our love ran out, but our memories — they never will. 

[abedfulloflies]

better now

you were warmer than i expected,

more gentle than i could’ve ever imaged.

you softened me.

your patience taught me virtue, 

i’m better because of you. 

[abedfulloflies]

fairy tales.

for a moment i believed in love at first sight.

i swore the universe conspired to bring us together. 

it felt so real, 

until it no longer was. 

[abedfulloflies]

TEN WORD STORIES: #051

i fell in love with the rhythm of his soul. 

[abedfulloflies]

conflict.

 i didn’t love myself the way i loved him. and so i couldn’t expect him to either. 

[abedfulloflies]

good for you.

him: I don't know if I'm good for you.

her: Do you want to be good for me?

him: Honestly, I want to be good for me.