absolutelynotararr

[absolutelynotararr]

At such moments it is hard to understand that right now you will not be able to handle it

You know, for someone who gets a programming education right now and goes into game development, it's really hard to resist the temptation to make a little boss fight game of Kronos vs. his own children in an SFS-influenced rpg style with pixel chibi-main characters-graphics...

Maybe I'll take on this someday and it will be something like Heroes of Enwell, but not animation, but a full-fledged game, where:

Where you can choose any of the gods/ses who fight against Kronos (but according to the script, the final blow will still be Zeus's, yeah)

Where Hestia throws fireballs, Hades summons a flood of souls, Poseidon sends a tsunami and huge streams of waves at his father(and also causes earthquakes and cracks in the earth to prevent his father from fighting), Demeter binds the titan with thorny vines whose poison deals a little extra damage and/or has a side effect of slowing him down, and Hera possibly fights with her voice(?), like Pan with his panic (Like a peacock cry? Or just some blue-turquoise magic? Discs, like in the official animatic??? Sorry, I still couldn't see and understand Hera's attack) . Well, with Zeus everything is clear

Where Kronos is NOT a weak enemy, even on the easy difficulty. He is a cunning bastard who will slow down time around him even at the moment of a critical hit in order to bastardly restore his health and continue the fight. And in this slowdown, he can easily kill one of the gods, which will cause the game to start over from the very damn beginning. Same with the first kills of Kronos - everything from the very beginning after the last hit, but simply because he rewinds time until the players figure out how to stop this shit.

Just wait, guys, and I will definitely bring us some fan entertainment of this kind!!!1!11 >_<

[absolutelynotararr]

HADES - THE LOVER AND THE PSYCHOLOGIST

This literally happened about 5 minutes ago, but I was talking to a -mate of mine from college and I told him about SFS and a few minutes after I showed him Casper, he was like:

"Damn, dude, he looks like my psychologist!"

....

Guess who has headcanon now that after Persephone is kidnapped and the cute scene in My Persephone, Persephone spends hours telling Hades how she's always felt, her doubts and disagreements with her mother, and how she wishes she had more independence in her life so her mother wouldn't worry about her, and in essence it's a ten hour version of Crossroads, and Hades remains a great listener who called Cerberus to be her nerve-calming squishie-squeezer, while they sit in his garden in an extremely calm atmosphere, like in a good psychologist's office that does not feel like an office in which you feel constrained, but on the contrary, it allows you to relax and calmly speak out about everything you have been keeping inside <3

Persephone: *launches a multi-hour monologue about her entire life and everything she's felt all along, while hugging Cerberus and replacing anger with tears and tears with anger and fear with determination and determination with fear*

Hades, who just wanted romance and not a psychological session: oh shit, that's terrible, girl... (゜ロ゜;

[absolutelynotararr]

A little about the inconveniences of fractures and lameness

.Hey, I felt what it was like to get a fracture first hand for the first time in almost 18 years and for the first time I wore a cast on my leg for almost two months, and now I'm wearing a special medical thing to support the healing of the bone and ligaments for another month or two.

And now, DAMN IT, I understand Hephaestus, just as I understand myself at that moment and months when I myself got a leg injury and now limp *but I don’t seem to have a curvature of the foot, yay?*

Я не знаю, способен ли мозг маленького бога помнить, что с ним произошло в столь юном возрасте, но если Гефест это помнит, то это ужасно, и мне хочется крепко его обнять. (Есть ли вероятность, что детская амнезия у богов работает по-другому, и они гораздо лучше помнят то, что произошло до их третьего дня рождения?).

Если так, то представьте, какая это травма, которая будет сопровождать его на протяжении столетий, словно воспоминание, которое однажды возникло у него в голове и никогда не отпускает.

Случайно вспомнил, *щелкает пальцами* и ты уже сидишь и не понимаешь, почему вспомнил что-то травмирующее и теперь не забудешь.

And the realization that you are now less active and now you are not even able to walk/climb the stairs normally/ and I am not even talking about running and/or sudden movements or even light dancing, light bending, ESPECIALLY with a bend in the knees

It's terrible both mentally and physically to realize how limited and slow in your movements you are now becoming, and even more so when you understand that now you should be much calmer for such a long time, and not only when the fractures heal and you can walk without the help of a cane/crutches.

[absolutelynotararr]

inspired by the recent cut saga video (particularly the Apollo apology song which I'm pretty sure is supposed to be set after Ismarus where Eurylochus kills the son of one of Apollo's priests) and a chat with my beloved moot @absolutelynotararr, an AU of God Games where Apollo's grievance with Ody isn't the murder of the sirens

Apollo: He killed the son of- Athena: That wasn't Odysseus, and he already apologised Apollo: -OF HECTOR Apollo: DUH Athena: Apollo: Poseidon: Damn, he really has a thing for sons, huh Helios, sobbing on the background: THAT COW WAS MY BABY

[absolutelynotararr]

I'm still crying [ from happiness that you still like this joke] BUT IT'S BEEN 4 MONTHS, BRO, AND YOU STILL REMEMBER HER---- heheheheheee XD

But in general, I agree, MORE BALD APHRODITE!!!1!1!

| (｀´),

Bald Aphrodite Appreciation Post

not even joking. she is the goddess of beauty, her face and body are unrivaled by any human woman. who needs hair? luscious locks are boooring.

give me an aphrodite that looks almost frightening because she's too perfect. because she is a god and is incredibly powerful and incredibly horrifying and gorgeous all at once. give me an aphrodite that looks impossible, almost fake, giving folks both boners and uncanny valley effect. give me the goddess of beauty that is soft and polished in a way a mannequin is. give me alien beauty, the predator in the skin of a pray, eldritch-horror-in-a-tantalizingly-sexy-package.

fuck canon, give me bald aphrodite.

[absolutelynotararr]

UPDATE: WE GOT IT GUYS! YES! [and now I send this sound to everyone I know for their birthday, even those who don't know EPIC and always with a funny video of Antinous XD]

FAVORITE CAAAAAAAAKEEEE

Admit it, guys, you, like me, need a birthday version of HTD officially from Ayron with a clean official instrumental of this song, where Antinous explains in the most detailed way how he will skillfully and beautifully cut... the cake for Telemachus' b-day ,xddd

[absolutelynotararr]

I really like this duo, guys!!!! XD

Okay, we've already seen the duets of Ares and Hermes, and Hermes and Tiresias, but...

HOW ABOUT THE DUET OF ARES AND TEIRESIAS, HUH?

I don't know about you, but I think this is a damn cool duo!

Their dynamic is definitely similar to the duo of Kevin and Nelson from the Simpsons! (Remember that episode with them)

Like:

"I WILL KILL ANYONE WHO CALLS THIS BLIND LOSER A BLIND LOSER, IS THAT CLEAR?!"

He would grab him by the back of the head and push his face into objects, saying:

"Are you blind or something?! This is that fucking thing you've been looking for on that fucking table for the last five fucking minutes!"

(SORRY)

[absolutelynotararr]

IS PERIMEDES GAY OR HELLADIAN????? ┐(-u -;)┌

@elianzis Thanks for the art on another silly idea from me xdddd, I still hope that you will never guess when I write you anonymous questions ToT

[absolutelynotararr]

I'm not apologizing, I'm not ashamed.

I'm not apologizing, I'm not ashamed.

I'm not apologizing, I'm not ashamed.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61934521

heheheeehehehehhehehehehehehe,enjoy our rabbit hole, buddy ;D

Would you be willing to do Antinous x Eurymachus 👀?

(Just two suitors in love lol)

Jackals

And then Eurymachus hit him in the stomach and Antinous going: Eurymachus, you little motherf-

[absolutelynotararr]

FAVORITE CAAAAAAAAKEEEE

Admit it, guys, you, like me, need a birthday version of HTD officially from Ayron with a clean official instrumental of this song, where Antinous explains in the most detailed way how he will skillfully and beautifully cut... the cake for Telemachus' b-day ,xddd

[absolutelynotararr]

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO HEAR THIS, RIGHT????

Guys, I slept for 4 hours, maybe, and DAMNIT

just listen to the part in "The Challenge" of the new saga where Penelope is being sung along by the suitors and THERE ,OMG, I HEAR ODYSSEUS

HE'S SINGS ALONG ALONG BUT QUIETER THAN ANYONE AT THE END OF THE FIRST "PENELOPE".

I even specially cut out the instrumental of the song so that only the vocals remained AND THERE I HEARD ODYSSEUS TOO

I hope to the very end that this is not just delirium from lack of sleep. ((T_T))((T_T))((T_T))

[absolutelynotararr]

SPOILERS FOR THE NEW SAGA

Telemachus: *appears and wants to stop the bloody meat grinder*

Odysseus: That's my boy (*ﾟ∀ﾟ)

Suitors: *Attack on Tele*

Odysseus: NO. MY BOY- (｀皿´)🏹

Telemachus: FATHER, HELP--

*SORRY*

[absolutelynotararr]

TWO ACHILLES

(Now I will format all headcanons/thoughts with links to previous parts, so... PART 1)

Rar!

Okay, one of my favorite headcanons is that Patroclus and Achilles had their own little turtle during the Trojan War

He just climbed into the guys' tent one day because it was cooler there than on the hot sand and the two kept him for themselves. The turtle's paw was injured, by the way ; and the turtle was named....

Little Achilles :D

Cause this little cute creature loved to bite, showing his temper, his shell was so dirty yellow with spots, approximately similar in color to the hair of Achilles and he had a damn wounded paw!

(And also Patroclus is just so incredibly in love with Achilles that he decides to name their adopted son/pet child after him))))) )

The turtle outlived both of them! But he still ended up with them in the Underworld.He outlived his fathers and was looked after by Odysseus/Briseis/Phoenix

And, oh, Pyrrhus, before he knew the turtle was his father's pet, he was thinking about turning the turtle into soup, but then he began to consider Little Achilles as his father's sacred animal and abandoned the idea

But the turtle escaped from him anyway and ended up in the Underworld anyway! >:]]]]

Imagine Little Achilles with Patroclus and Achilles swimming in the hot spring of the Underworld, a bit of an illogical event(??), but JUST IMAGINE, IT'S SO DAMN CUTE

P.s. : The turtle looks like hermann's tortoise, Just look at these turtles! I'm crying from cuteness

(　ＴДＴ)/

And also just remember one of the aporias of the ancient Greek philosopher Zeno of Elea, just about Achilles and the turtle and their speed! So 89% of this headcanon is a reference to that and friendly banter with Achilles ,xd

[absolutelynotararr]

Imagine

winion!Elpenor and lotus eater!Perimedes flew to the ship to some random sailors (elpi carried the peri on his paws) and by some miracle Elpenor sensed that the sailors had good wine. His love for alcohol was stronger than common sense and he tried to pull the cork out of the wine barrel. But even with the help of small currents of wind it didn't work (and with the help of a friend too). And then... ELPI STARTED TO PUMP UP HIS MUSCLES WITH THE HELP OF PERIMEDES AND OTHER SMALL THINGS XD Like in those memes or cartoons

*music "bigger, stronger, better" *

Winion!Elpenor X Lotus Eater!Perimedes

alright, this AU sounds weird, but IMAGINE. we already know that winions and lotus eaters are the same species. but imagine an AU where they are the souls of humans who didn't get a proper burial abd therefore couldn't go to the Underworld (yes, i'm completely disregarding the entire Underworld Saga, but LISTEN). and the Lotus Eaters are the former humans who were so addicted to lotus that even death couldn't free them from it.

IMAGINE, for a second, Elpenor, the Drunk Stargazer, forgotten by everyone. he wasn't missed, his death wasn't even noticed. and Aeolus' court is full of cheerful creatures, yet still no one pays any particular attention to him. he's free to do whatever he wants to - free as a wind, literally - but he has nowhere to go, no one who ever really cares about him. he flies to Ithaca to check on his family home, only to find that everyone had long since moved on.

IMAGINE Perimedes, Odysseus' most loyal follower, who had fallen under the thrall of lotus and had completely faded as a person, numbed until all he could comprehend were need and mindless pleasure. they had no choice but to leave him behind as a lost cause. and then he woke up, having had shred whatever humanity he'd still had - woke up and saw the trap for what it was, saw his former body rot to give nourishment to new lotus roots, and understood how hopelessly trapped he'd become.

IMAGINE Elpenor remembering the one person who had once sworn to always be by his side, and deciding to check up on Perimedes. Imagine them meeting after months, maybe years - and yet still instantly recognizing each other as soulmates do

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

perimedes: I figured you'd be happy there, huh. free to wander, fly from place to place, unchained by rules or conventions… isn't that what you'd always wanted? elpenor: to be honest… freedom…

[image of winion!elpenor, alone, flying through the starry sky, left behind by his excitable brethren, looking down at a house that will never belong to him again]

elpenor: …is not all that it's cracked out to be.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

elpenor: what about you? you seemed at peace here, I really thought staying here would be good for you! perimedes: well, uh…

[image of lotuseater!perimedes staring at his own human corpse as others like him lie down in drugged haze, noticing how dead and unnatural everything looked]

perimedes: …it didn't work out

[absolutelynotararr]

OOOOHHH, YES, ONE OF MY FAVORITE TOPICS THAT ARE NOT DISCUSSED MUCH! And you've touched on it again, my friend!!! :DD

I will say until my death that I adore those stages of acceptance(??) of consuming men turned into pigs that Circe went through. Like, yeah, you probably remember that! Someday the eng.part of the fandom will see what is hidden behind the curtain, what dark ideas lurk in my fics

*much significantly evil laughs *

I love hyperfixating on two completely unrelated topics and combining them somehow

[absolutelynotararr]

Zeus:

APOLLO 💫

*TUTUTUU*

HEPHAESTUS⚒

*TUUTUUU*

APHRODITE💞

*TUTUTUU*

ARES🩸

*TUTUTU*

HERA 🦚

*TUТUTUUU*

OR MEEE⚡️

What do you say?

Athena: *takes small steps towards Hera*

Zeus: ... ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)⚡️

[absolutelynotararr]

THIS IS MORE NECESSARY THAN AIR OR ANYTHING

Telemachus:

"Somebody tell me, come and give me a sign, If I fight this monster, is it you I'll find?"

...

OKAY, IDK ABOUT U, BUT I NEED THE VERSION OF MONSTER RAWR RAWR RAWR FROM ANTINOUS WITH HIS VILLAIN INSTRUMENT