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Beds I've Slept In, Orion Carloto (2012-2023)

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Hypnotic collages of French artist @valentinpavageau

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2024

"Today is February 14. "The holiday invented by greeting card companies" stated by Tom, from 500 Days of Summer. I haven't used Tumblr in years! The only reason I'm writing on here is because nobody uses this anymore & because I deactivated my IG. A rollercoaster of a life it has been. Lots of ups and downs but that's life in general. My life is like a French film, simply a tragedy. I the protagonist struggling with the adult life. I'll be turning 29 years old in April, what a pity. I feel like I'm always having an existential crisis. I can't complain because I'm grateful I have my own apartment, car, and a job that pays pretty well. The capitalist life or the American dream? One of them doesn't exist anymore. Anyways, Valentine's Day reminding me that I been single for almost three years. The fact that the radio started playing a song , one of my exes used to play back in the day, priceless. But that's how the universe works in mysterious ways. I type this on my small Ikea dining set, eating Mexican food, and drinking a nice cold refreshing beer. Cheers to all the single souls out there"

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not alone, but lonely

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A study of green in Le genou de Claire, 1970

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Ying and Yang

I don’t need to sell my soul, he’s already in me. I pray on my knees and ask for a wish. He grants me what I ask for but it comes with a price, my life. I was heartbroken, I felt vulnerable and needed to regain my inner strength. The demon in me was awakening while the angel in me was trying to resist, It was too late now as the wish was already granted. I looked in the mirror at my face and smirked. My lucky number has been six. I could recall Lucy has been with me, since I was six years old. I have held pain, resentment, and a grudge during all this time because what I went through, I seen it all with my parents shouting and physically hurting each other. I became traumatized as a little boy. I was a promising young student but as my parents tensions got worst, my grades started to plummet. I didn’t want to do homework anymore. I just wanted to play video games all day, it was my only escape from the things happening at home. I don’t have any issues with my parents now. I have a good relationship bit I wish they knew how much I struggle with depression and anxiety now as a twenty- five year old adult. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t brought to this world. I don’t see my purpose on earth. I always feel lost, I’m always alone. I have mental breakdowns at times. I feel like a failure in life, I see my friends doing better than me and I’m behind like always. Am I ever going to get my life together ? or am I goin to keep going with the flow of life, until I end up being a drifter. 

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Sometimes I don’t even know anymore. Life ain’t fair, it’s hard to stay positive when I been suffering my whole life. I don’t see my purpose in this world. It’s like I am drifting away. I just don’ care anymore.

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sending so much love to everyone who feels like they’re never chosen as the best friend, as the partner, as the favorite. sending love to all of you who have been treated and felt like second best. sending love to all of you who have felt rejected and unwanted. to all of you who have had to try really hard to fit in because you felt like you never will. 

you are so loved. you will be seen and heard by the right people. you can trust that you are valuable and not defined by other people’s perceptions of you. if someone doesn’t see your worth, it doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

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Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep, really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.

Ernest Hemingway (via sunsetquotes)

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Jim Morrison

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Reblog with just TWO choices

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magnolia bts 🦋

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