anxiouslumpypotato

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Does anyone know how to lucid dream?? I've read so much on it and I can't do it. I have brutal night terrors and it would be great to sleep...

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Can we stop pretending parenthood is all moments of joy and so rewarding?

I love my child. Don't get me wrong. But more often than not, she whines, she cries when she doesn't get her way, she thinks I'm evil and treats me accordingly. I don't get it. She knows we don't have much money and can't do everything and she can't have everything she wants. And yet there's this air of entitlement. I've worked my ass off to instill good morals, give her more than enough chores, I'm not a "slack parent" but I'm not crazy strict. And I still get this shit attitude every day, no matter what I do. Parenting sucks. It is hard. My depression has reared its ugly head more since I became a mother, to the point where I'm suicidal. I stay up and night and cry, wondering what I'm doing wrong and what I can do better. And the worst part is, I know it won't get any easier as my daughter gets older. I wouldn't change my life (except maybe like finances) for anything, but can society cut the shit and stop acting like parenthood is the pinnacle of existence? Because it's hard, it's infuriating, it's draining, speckled with a good day few and far between. And no matter how much you try to cherish those good days, there's still this sense of overwhelming dread because you know it'll go right back to shit as soon as that little head of theirs hits the pillow

[anxiouslumpypotato]

High school is literally a hormonal toilet and it was great to get flushed out and get into the river of shit that is adulthood

[anxiouslumpypotato]

If you could go back in time to tell your younger self anything, what would it be?

If I could go back to my childhood self, I would tell her so much. I would tell her that listening to her mother would be a huge disservice. I would tell her that even though her mom and stepdad did everything possible to destroy her self esteem, she was worth so much more than she could ever imagine. I would tell her that even though her dad doesn't talk much, he is a great man with a great heart and will always be proud of her. I would tell her that men are more trouble than what they are worth, and what's worth her time is taking care of her and doing well in school to set up a great future. I would tell her that even though the mother who is supposed to care for her, love her unconditionally and always be there, that same mother will beat her down and break her spirit and even though it'll make her strong, it'll make her doubt her every move and that strength can come from so many other places. I would give her the tools to cope with this, I would tell her that help is always available and for every loss, there will be a gain.

I'd also tell her that pizza pops change their recipe at some point and to save money and stock the fuck up because they are SO disappointing now

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Sitting next to a guy in class who is ordering alcohol online because it's cheap rather than pay attention to the prof and if this doesn't sum up uni struggles, then I don't know what does.

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Me: wants silence.

Me: gets silence.

Me: existential crisis because it's too quiet.

Me: also lets stay up super late and do the cyclical thinking about all the bad things while it's dead silent oooooo fun fun

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Literally where I'm at right now except I'm worried

[anxiouslumpypotato]

I wanna be one of those inspirational people that posts on tumblr and gets reblogged and shared on Facebook but really I'm just a depressed student with too much going on and right now all I wanna do is eat cake and cry

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Does anyone else have really graphic and vivid nightmares? How do you deal with it? I legit have to restrict what I watch, which sucks because I LOVE horror movies. But every time I watch something like that, or hear about something terrible in our world, I have BRUTAL nightmares. Everyone I love and care about dies righr in front of me and always slowly and it's horrifying. I can never move in the dream, I wake up crying and in the middle of an anxiety attack.. Like what is this how do I fix it

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Am I the only one who has a really hard time dealing with the fact that Jared Leto the actor and Jared Leto the singer are the same fucking person?

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Before I got pregnant, I always slept like this. After my gut got too big, I just stopped. Now, every time I try to sleep like this, It's not the same and it hurts my soul so much like fuck you body just be comfy, I'm too old for this shit and need some gat damn sleep

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Ever notice that the only time students get the urge to clean is when they are up to their eyeballs in homework and desperately trying to compensate in other areas of life? I am definitely that person

[anxiouslumpypotato]

DON'T Y'ALL FUCKING WANT A PREHISTORIC PENGUIN HOBBLING AROUND. They're just 250 pound angry sausages and if you train them well enough, you could ride them around in winter, sled down hills and they could whippity whap your enemies and leave massive shits on things.

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Did anyone else have these dogs as a kid? So mad I got rid of mine. Could have stashed weed in this bad boi

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Can't forget alter bois

Best place ever right?

[anxiouslumpypotato]

Anyone else out there get that feeling of impending doom where nothing is wrong, your mood is okay but you feel in your gut that shits gonna get real pretty quick?? Halp

[anxiouslumpypotato]

I was making fun of Guy Fieri because he bugs the fuck out of me and I looked up Guy Fieri fails on YouTube and 3 hours later I'm still watching Diners, Drive Ins and Dives and I can't tell who I hate more: Guy Fieri or myself....

Myself. I let this happen.