aqu-a-zul

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This happened while ylang ylang was playing in the background. On a random Tuesday like. Idk. I think it'll be forever etched in my brain. I looked so hard to find this picture too, cuz it was wholesome. More than platonic but idk what exactly. It's a bout someone who's very dear to me.

Artist: Kristina Baker

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A lazy, rainy afternoon on my period with a cute read and a cuppa tea. Pretty chill

Fairy Field Guide - Betty Bib

[aqu-a-zul]

A lazy, rainy afternoon on my period with a cute read and a cuppa tea. Pretty chill

Fairy Field Guide - Betty Bib

[aqu-a-zul]

Is this one of those tell me you have adhd withou telling me you have adhd posts?

frequently what happens is I'll be drawing a comic and think, huh. I wonder what shoes a 14th/15th century cardinal would wear. I bet they had fancy rules about it, and the answer will be in a 500 page book about the early modern cardinal. I'll think, 'WELLLLLL since I'm already here, I'll check out this other chapter that sounds interesting,' and then I'll find out that the vatican is literally hazardous to your health, but from that point on I'll be locked in for the entire book. I'll start reading through all the citations while checking to see what else some of the contributors have written. the comic has been forgotten entirely because I need to know more about the hats.

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I absolutely love this! 🌸✨

Did you know! Elephant Seals are negatively buoyant, which means that they sink naturally in the water, but have to use energy to swim back up. This means that they are able to save 18-24% of their energy on a dive compared to having to actively swim down. This descent is so effective that they can actually fall asleep on the way down! They are also officially described as "falling like a leaf". Have a look at the cool diagram below that I pulled from one of my university lectures that I went to a few years ago.

ID: a diagram of the descent pattern of an elephant seal. There are three axes (depth, distance west and distance south) showing the distances from the release point in metres. There is a coloured scale showing the speed of the descent, and a spiral made up of coloured dots that show the route.

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I hope I remember this if and when I do have kids

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

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You're so afraid bout people watching you and what they may think that you close yourself off and suffocate inside a box with no breathing holes

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My heart is breaking fr and idk what to do. How am I supposed to just let go of someone who I want to write just the littlest but of poetry about? Who I want to make Tumblr posts for? Who I want to make art for? The last time I felt a heartache this bad was when my first boyfriend passed away.

I miss him and I want him and I wish I didn't have to wait for him to call me back.

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Its like my decembers continue to be sad every year. Sad and painful. Full of heartbreak and being unable to come home. And when I do eventually reach home, that feeling of this doesn't feel like "home" I supposed to feel

Will it ever change? As this December ends and this year does too I can't help but feel a bit hopeless, yet I hope I gets better

(i don't know how to add the sources rn. Or organise the pictures. Maybe I will do it when I am feeling less tired. Do I tag the accounts I got them from or the original writers of these quotes?)

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This is for when I start living by myself

People with low spoons, someone just recommended this cookbook to me, so I thought I'd pass it on.

I always look at cookbooks for people who have no energy/time to do elaborate meal preparations, and roll my eyes. Like, you want me to stay on my feet for long enough to prepare 15 different ingredients from scratch, and use 5 different pots and pans, when I have chronic fatigue and no dishwasher?

These people seem to get it, though. It's very simple in places. It's basically the cookbook for people who think, 'I'm really bored of those same five low-spoons meals I eat, but I can't think of anything else to cook that won't exhaust me'. And it's free!

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How To Fight Planned Obsolescence

What is planned obsolescence you ask? 

Planned obsolescence is where companies design products to be obsolete - to break, to be ‘out of fashion’, to be difficult to use or to wear out - with the aim being that in a short period of time, you will be forced to throw the product out, and get a new one. 

Examples of Planned Obsolescence 

Tech companies that stop updating software on models that are over 3 years old 

Clothing companies that use poor quality materials and stitching, meaning that clothes will rip, tear or degrade very rapidly 

Jewellery companies that use poor quality plating and cheap soldering so that your earrings/bracelets/necklaces tarnish and break soon. 

Shoe companies that use cheaper labour and mechanical stitching methods ( RIP Doc Marten’s BuyItForLife) 

What Can I Do?

Look for companies that provide low cost - or even free - repairs for their products. This can be said explicitly, or you might have a warranty in the T&Cs section of sale. If the company is willing to provide free repairs for items, it probably means that repairing the items is a rare occurence, or that it can be easily done. 

Be aware of the materials that you purchase. Materials such as leather, raw denim, pure corduroy, Tencel, Linen, Wool, Silk etc are so durable that they’re often combined with polyester to make them cheaper and less durable. As these are pricey, try to find they second hand. Avoid polyester, acrylic and rayon where possible! 

This leads me on to my next point - products made of durable materials tend to be easier to repair. Good quality jeans, leather jackets and woollen socks are sturdy enough to fix with patches or to darn, whereas polyester and acrylic may not be able to withstand the poking and prodding that patching requires. 

Quality > Quantity - Planned obsolescence drives prices down - if you know that you’ll replace an item within less than 30 wears, its easier to look for the cheapest option. So, before you buy something ask - Will this be worn/used regularly? Can I see myself still using this in a year? In three years? Will this last that long? Again - you might have to go down the second hand for this one.

Look after what you have. Now, this may contrast with the previous points but bear with me. Don’t wear the items you have out. Swap your jewellery out regularly, taking it off when you go into the shower or the swimming pool. Avoid putting your clothes in the dryer. Wax your leather goods. An item made of good quality materials will still break, tarnish and rip if you use it every single day, drop it regularly, and dunk it in a swimming pool. 

Final Note

Avoiding planned obsolescence is hard so do what you can, what is accessible to you, and what is within your budget. Don’t feel bad if your products break sooner than expected; instead, be angry at the companies that use poor designs. 

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GF GF GF GF

Not me doing this every single time, even while reading this today 😂😂😭

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Research and ADHD

Not me leaving instructions to myself in large size letters cuz I know that if I open this file three hours from now I will have no memory of what is going on and am 95%sure to miss it if it's the same size as everything else ahahha

I know how to spell I just can't type on the laptop very well and do not have the patience to correct stuff at 5AM when all I wanna do if slose everything and sleep ahahah

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have you eaten yet? (I love you I love you) do you want a snack? (I love you I love you) what's your favorite food? (I love you I love you) can I make you a cup of tea? (I love you I love you) can you help me with dinner? (I love you I love you) I'll bring you some soup for the cold (I love you I love you) I made these and thought of you (I love you I love you) I'm sorry for your loss, take this it was my mother's recipe (I love you I love you) congratulations! let's celebrate with dessert! (I love you I love you) can I get you something to eat? (I love you I love you) no one can make it like my grandmother's (I love you I love you) I made sure it was dietary restriction friendly for you, I hope you like it (I love you I love you) love is stored in food (I love you I love you I love you I love you)

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I keep asking people why we like the teal and orange combination. Cuz I used to ask it to myself regularly as I couldn't really quite figure out why I like it even though I thought it was a random combination. And then one day I looked at the sky with the same colours in it and it hit me.

Being drawn to colours that they “associate with sunrise and sunset-times of transition and daily possibility” Livien Yin's paintings have an awe-inspiring palette and such a delicate, considered finish. “I try to render the way that sunlight feels against the skin, like a caress of the subjects in the painting.” Another recognisable quality of the artists work is their repetition of imagery, specifically hands and fruit. Sometimes the hands frame the face of the subject, and the fruit lies half eaten. And, sometimes the two images come together – a model's hands lazily peel an orange, another clasps an apple, mid-bite.

Livien Yin explains that their focus on hands is a means a of referencing both manual labour that characterised the first major wave of Chinese immigration and their connection to Chinese culture and cooking; “I like to paint hands to commemorate the cultural legacies and ‘acts of care’ passed down from the generations before us.” Whereas the fruit has a more specific reference – “when ‘paper sons and daughters’ were preparing to be interrogated at Angel Island Immigration Station, they memorised the details of their new identities using something called ‘coaching notes’ which were sometimes secretly sent to them inside fruit.” And, simultaneously, when placed in the hands of women, Livien intends for it to be a metaphor for sexual agency.

on Livien Yin

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I want a space like this in my future home

Greenhouse reading nooks 🌱

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My first time attempting to ✨ research✨. I take ages to write up my synopsis and what feels like even longer to write up the start of my dissertation. I start my data collection at the nth hour and struggle with my data extraction. When I feel like I've reached the end of my troubles, I realise that I've used the worst possible assessment tool to collect my data. It is not standard. My final results are not even in the same range as those values normally are. My (p=0.7) for one group and (p=0.4) for another. (if you're not aware ab research at all and are reading this it means that the results aren't that significant)

I need to go home. I don't have time to repeat my data collection because I'm way overdue already.

I just really wanted to publish my research in a good journal. But I guess with these results all I can do is submit my dissertation to my college and go home.