arealdisappointment

[arealdisappointment]

This song but as an anthem for Tim drake simply because I say so

I like to think he looks like his mom, but he might think he favors his father bc he's a guy

But also I'm pretty sure he looks like Bruce, i.e. dark black hair pale skin and bright blue eyes

But maybe he thinks he looks like dick did when he first became robin

But maybe he also thinks "God damn I look just like Jason" while he's robin

But maybe after being JJ (joker junior) he really struggles with his identity based on how he looks, no way he doesn't have scars from being kidnapped and tortured

I feel like Tim would have the shittiest identity of self because he looks like so many different people based on actual features, and his demeanor , and of course the psychology hardships he's had to deal with.

This may be soooo ooc but I don't really care I think it's a fun hc

[arealdisappointment]

Bc kon is the son of Clark AND Lex do you think that the citizens of metropolis asked if mpreg was a legit thing??

If I was Tim I'd constantly make fun of kon for it

[arealdisappointment]

Y'all ever have some one drop some lore about your parents that completely changes how you view them and now you don't know how to even speak to them normally because of what you know

[arealdisappointment]

Ay yo, you know what I love about Tumblr the fact that you can just do stuff and I'm bored it's 1am and I'm losing my marbles cuz my parents didn't pay for therapy, take some stuff from the note I have saved in my phone called don't trust your mind past 9pm

(all of these are separate)

I think my whole purpose in life is to hate myself, i was made out of a false sense of love and how can you love something thats not real, something made out of lies? It has come time again that i try to reinvent myself because the only thing that consumes my every waking thought is that i hate myself and i will continue to hate myself until i can find a version of me that is worth love. The version of me that is worthwhile the version of me that is enough for you. And while it drives me insane it is the only thing that allows me to keep my sanity.

I miss my mom, and whats so heartbreaking is the fact that i look nothing like her in my day to day life. There is very little reflection of the woman who made me in myself. But over time I've noticed one thing, when i cry and when i am at my lowest i see her in my reflection. I see it in the way my eyes gloss over with unshed tears and the way my mouth curves in a frown as i try desperately to keep my voice from breaking. I see her so clearly im the way my brows furrow together in anger at how unfair the word is. I see it in the way my dimples come out of hiding, and the way the edges of my face soften. I see her when i am in pain and when my anguish and anger are no longer contained inside me, the way i assume she existed because despite the fact that she is my mother, i know next to nothing about her.

There is something so pathetic in the sense of desperately wanting, needing, begging to be loved and admired and wanting to love yourself. How is it that I've hated every aspect of myself since early childhood. I guess ive always known that I'd never amount even a fraction of what my peers were like.I haven't been able to look at myself in the mirror since i was a toddler . I am like an ugly beast trying to fool the world into believing that im just like them, trying to fool them into thinking that i am socially acceptable. No matter how much makeup you put on a pig it'll still be ugly. Theres nothing more that i want than to be loved, wanted, desired. I wish there was someone out there who could look at me and want me. In any way shape or form i wish to be loved. I crave validation like it's my only source of life, it fuels me but in a sick twisted way i will never be good enough for anyone. I sit desperate on my knees in front of god begging to be loved, to see the image that i was made in, to believe that im worth it. Every small mistake i make chips away at the armor ive so carefully crafted until the doubt and self loathing have infected me, till the belief that im worthless crawls under my skin and infrcts my very being. My mind corrupted with the idea of dying, if i cant find my worth here whats stopping me from looking on other planes.

"I wish there was someone in my life who I could lean on and tell me it's going to be okay and explain grief to me and walk me through it and hell even just let me cry and express my anguish and this pain that consumes every fiber of my being. Instead I am forced to listen to the sorrows of everyone around me. Forced to comfort those who only ignore my pain. I want my pain to be recognized too, does that make me selfish ? Am I a bad person for wanting to express my pain too? How much do I have to hurt in order to be seen. When will I ever be enough. Am I just meant to bottle everything up and let it eat me from the inside out. Why is it that no one is there for me the way I am there for them. What did I do so wrong in a past life to be forced to suffer alone and yet be surrounded by people"

[arealdisappointment]

 I wanna make a toast to Batman, the greatest father four degenerate bastards ever had...

[arealdisappointment]

[arealdisappointment]

When the rest of the world looks at the united states right now, we see a government who sends billions to support genocide but cannot help their own people starving on the streets.

We see a police force who won't go in to save children from school shootings, but deploy at a rapid rate to arrest peaceful protestors using their right to free speech to protest a genocide

America, you are a war mongering snake eating your own tail. You will protect and support war criminals in another country but let your own people starve and die

To the students bravely protesting now, we see your strength. We see what we saw when students protested the Vietnam War. We have faith you will prevail

[arealdisappointment]

So Much Fanfiction

You have so, so much fanfiction, either because you're so shippable, or because you're hot. Maybe both. Probably both. You definitely flirt with everyone, either way. Tumblr and Twitter love you and showers you with queer headcanons. Reddit keeps a safe distance

@hypnoshierarchy @mosstapes @flannelforthetoads

NEW CHALLENGE

1. FIRST, create a picrew using this maker, and then 2. SECOND take this quiz on how fandom would see you if you were a fictional character.  3 (THIRD) POST YOUR PIC AND YOUR DESCRIPTION IN THE REBLOG!

Bastard (Good)

You’re a bastard. A wet cat, if you will. And we love you for it. You’re a little shit, but in the good way. You are the baddest babygirl. You killed a man, but you looked good doing it. You flirted with the hero and the enemy. All of Tumblr is madly in love with you. Congrats, I guess?

Tagging EVERYONE but especially @magicaltear, @the-beeses-kneeses, @wafflesrisa, @mykingdomforapen, @marbat, @scientistsinistral, @halberdierminister​!

[arealdisappointment]

@hypnoshierarchy. @mosstapes

link: dress up! picrew

[arealdisappointment]

@hypnoshierarchy @mosstapes @zoocchini

@bishbooch tagged me in: choose one picture from ur camera roll without downloading to sum your personality and then tag 5 ppl

@meltic-daze @crreacher @dontymon @the-queen-is-off-duty @mrs-chief

[arealdisappointment]

Camilio, kurapika, and sora

@mosstapes @nickarus @hypnoshierarchy

starting a game bcz i'm bored :

the last three ppl in your camera roll are the ones you'd be in a zombie apocalypse with.

here's mine :

we're all dying, esp this mister in the middle and on the right ⤴⤴

tagging ( yes you're obliged to do this and stop this from flopping /hj ) : @uxavity @fallintodream @bubble-bootie @solaxena @discountkiyoko + anyone else tbh

[arealdisappointment]

Respond to this ask with what's currently on your mind right now, and then tag 5 ppl to see what they're thinking of too

I’m thinking of sad Thai commercials right now?

@cascadingfloralwaterfall @theboxfort @soapycocacola @saintsugoi @kirstenonic05

What about you guys?

[arealdisappointment]

Crafting table and bread

@mosstapes @nickarus @hypnoshierarchy @zoocchini

Respond to this ask with what's currently on your mind right now, and then tag 5 ppl to see what they're thinking of too

I’m thinking of sad Thai commercials right now?

@cascadingfloralwaterfall @theboxfort @soapycocacola @saintsugoi @kirstenonic05

What about you guys?

[arealdisappointment]

Looks enough like me lol,

@hypnoshierarchy @mosstapes @nickarus

So I found a picrew

@mccoys-killer-queen @ghost-writer143​ @yo-adrienne​ @terraspurpleworld​ @green-tinted-sixties-mind​ @kukkahattumursu​ and anyone else who wants to​

[arealdisappointment]

Since when did they decide to let streamers have so much gender? Not enough left for the rest of us…

/hj

THEY DONT EVEN SCRATCH THE SURFACE. SUCH GENDER. SUCH AMAZE

[arealdisappointment]

@mosstapes @hypnoshierarchy @zoocchini @fallenxsnow @flannelforthetoads

HEY LITTLE GAY PEOPLE IN MY PHONE LOOK AT THIS CUTE PICREW I FOUND

https://href.li/?https://picrew.me/image_maker/1051098

tagging @eat-th3-rich​ @76historylover​ @the-reynolds-pamphlet​ @queenbottomless​ @princesspreze7​ and anyone else who wants to try :DDDD

[arealdisappointment]

I'm not a little kid anymore.

A message to my mother that she will never understand.

You took so long to finally realize something was wrong, and your "plan" isn't going to work like you think it is.

Lecturing me when I cry doesn't help. It didn't 5 years ago and not now. Lecturing doesn't teach me anything. Telling me that all I've been doing is ruining your morning is guilt tripping, and I can't help but fall for it. You came to me once and tried to comfort me, and then you went back to the condescending talk. I know that my grades tell you that I can handle things, but I really just can't handle your disappointment. You have put all of the pressure from both of my siblings onto me and I know I don't deserve that. But you do it at times when I am at my lowest, when my self-loathing makes me believe it's true.

And now that you see that I am not mentally well, you set a doctor's date without telling me in middle of my mental breakdown. You think I'm going to elaborate on the thoughts I've been having just because a doctor is involved?

And now, when I have finally spent time to care for myself, sort out my emotions, and prepare for what is next you decide to put me on a leash?

"Oh, it's just the phone."

No, it's not. And I'm not just being a phone obsessed zombie like you think I am. I have friends that I can't talk to in person, friends that do a heck of a lot better job than you at helping my mental health. I have music on there that helps calm me down. Just because I haven't been in much contact with them recently doesn't mean that you can just take them away. You don't know me as much as you insist, and you make me so mad that I can't even respond or you will use it against me.

So when I go in to see that doctor, know that I will keep you out of that room, because you need to let me be heard without putting your opinion on my feelings.

Okie, that feels much better now that its written down.

/Update/: I can no longer sit in a room with her :(