aroacefurb

[aroacefurb]

It really says something that a lot of monogamous people consider polyamorous and aromantic to be "opposites" but every polyam person I know took one look at aromantics and said "they're just like me for real"

[aroacefurb]

saw a post about polyamory on twt and oh My GODDD people are so VILE over there abt it?? the qrts were insane actual losers holy shit gtfo

[aroacefurb]

does anyone have any good song recs for asexual and or aromantic songs ? any genre rlly, i just really wanna listen to music that is by and for aro/ace ppl

[aroacefurb]

Love as a word is like slang to me. It's very useful for getting across what I'm trying to say but very rarely do I use it literally (and even then I bend the understanding of it as an emotion). Oh I love the weather today. I love my hobbies. I love this art. Sometimes I get annoyed with how love is used as a synonym for practically every positive emotion under the sun, but other times I get it. It's all just slang.

[aroacefurb]

hearing someone say they don't feel love and scrambling to prove them wrong like noooo haven't you ever seen a bee land on a flower!!! you know perfectly well that's not what love is. existing in the world and experiencing joy isn't love. wanting to help strangers isn't love. if someone says they don't feel love, believe them. it's not a bad thing and if you think it is you have some internalised stuff to unpack, and that's fine, but you don't have more authority over their feelings than they do

[aroacefurb]

If you want to move forward in advocacy, you have to remove the stigma about not loving someone in any way, shape, or form. It doesn't mean you hate them, just... you don't love them. That binary of love/hate needs to be broken down for all types of love. This applies to aros and aces in relationships, yes, but goes double for aplatonics and afamilials who don't love their family or friends. Not loving someone isn't a condemnation of that person, it just means you don't feel that way about them. Lacking love doesn't mean you wish someone harm.

[aroacefurb]

"aromantic people are emotionless" "aromantic people are cold" Yeah, I am. I am indifferent and apathetic and detached and frigid, so what? Let me live my life and stop trying to make me "love" the way you do. In fact, stop trying to make me "love" at all. I don't even have to love my friends and family or my cat. I can care and support for these beings nevertheless. I can understand them and be there for them. And no, that is NOT love.

[aroacefurb]

"well actually repulsed aro/aces can still be in relationships/have sex" SHUT. UP. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. I know! IM ROMANCE REPULSED!! but if you even tried to ship me (and a few of you did) i would come at you with KNIVES. STOP SPEAKING FOR "all aro/acespecs" YOU DONT. SHUT UP

[aroacefurb]

when i say that there's a disparity in how aromantics and asexuals are treated, what i mean is that romantic asexuality is allowed to exist, but sexual aromanticism is not. what i mean is that all sexual content is expected to be tagged appropriately, and sex-repulsed people can block those tags, but romantic content is almost never tagged as romantic, and romance-repulsed people are just expected to be alright with that. what i mean is that you cannot make a single post about aromanticism without someone tagging it as "ace" or "aroace" (even if you specifically make a banner that says not to do so). what i mean is that i have gotten several hate anons from other aspecs just because i talk openly about being a non-ace aro. what i mean is that all aromantic representation is aroace. what i mean is that the aspec community is incredibly sex-negative. what i mean is that popular aspec media openly spouts alloarophobia and still gets praised as good aspec representation. what i mean is that non-ace aros are expected to seperate our sexuality from our aromanticism entirely because it might make some aroace uncomfortable to acknowledge that sexual aromanticism can and does exist.

there is a fucking disparity, you're just not listening to us.

[aroacefurb]

i think im literally just too restless (and aro) to ever have an intimate relationship with someone like,, oh you cuddled for 3 hours? sounds nice except i would randomly get the zoomies 20 minutes in and have to run around the place, i cant even sit still for 10 minutes when my cat sits on my lap i dont get how people just hold each other for ages

[aroacefurb]

This is why I'm cupioromantic, because literally why would I want to put 100% percent of myself into a relationship that will never even be like 10% of the movies make me feel?

[aroacefurb]

aroace cape

download here or from under the cut

[aroacefurb]

An aro meme for myself

[aroacefurb]

I understand that characters can be aroace and still romance or sex favorable but it always makes me very uncomfortable when non-ace/aros use this as an excuse to ship them bc it just feels like an excuse not to gaf and keep shipping or sexualizing them anyway

[aroacefurb]

sure "romantic" isn't the only type of love but also "love" isn't the only type of positive feeling. So maybe stop insisting everyone needs love to be happy and accept that loveless ppl exist? Pretty please?

[aroacefurb]

so I know this is an unpopular opinion in the aspec community, but I feel like "more than friends" or "just friends" doesn't inherently imply that romance is more important than friendship? Cause imo people in a romantic relationship are still friends? So a couple are friends + more (more than friends). And people who are friends but not romantic or with no commitment and friends and thats it (just friends)

Like are they often used to imply romance is better/ more important? Sadly yes. Does that mean they're phrases we should start phasing out? I don't think so. I think as long as we work in other areas to dismantle this idea that romance is better, and maybe work on how people use them it should be fine to keep them.

Plus I think they're useful phrases that have their place in conversations that don't prioritize romance, like when talking about vague relationships that aren't exactly friendship but also aren't exactly romance, or that someone just doesn't want to put a label on but is friendship + something.

Or when someone asks about someone elses dating status and the other person wants to be clear that they have a none vague friendship type relationship, so plain friendship. Like how when I order a burger I'll say "cheese burger with just pickles and ketchup" not cause it's less than burgers with all the fixings, cause obviously I don't think that or I wouldn't order it, it's just an easy way of saying I don't want anything extra. And in the case of "just friends" the extra would be romance, commitment, or something else.

I understand the knee jerk reaction that those phrases are something we need to throw out with amatonormativity but I really don't think they are, we just need to reframe how some people use them.

[aroacefurb]

do you all remember in the early 2010s where people were talking about freeing the nipple and that mixed-gender sports should become a thing and the removal of period tax and all of that and then some people realised that would mean trans people too ans they instantly decided to revert to bioessentialism 101 and now i have to see grating sentences like Well maybe jeopardy should be gender-segregated because males have a biological advantage in pressing a button