artemesianerdmom - Tumblr blog

[artemesianerdmom]

My superpower is that I can always manage to scrounge up a full load of laundry in order to wash one or two items that I need. I can do this in spite of all laundry hampers being empty.

[artemesianerdmom]

Has this been done yet? I wasn’t certain.

Anyway, here’s a meme to commemorate me hitting perfection on the new farm I made to play the 1.6 update.

[artemesianerdmom]

[artemesianerdmom]

“I can’t believe we’ve had this cat for eight years and I’m still coming up with stupid nicknames to call her.”

-my husband, after we both finished laughing over him calling our cat the “loaf of his life”

[artemesianerdmom]

The Three Types of Photos I Have of Both My Children:

1. The ones with my toddler looking at the camera.

2. The ones with my baby looking at the camera.

3. The ones with my baby posed perfectly, in focus, and perhaps even giving an accidental baby smile while my toddler phases out of reality at warp speed.

[artemesianerdmom]

I have to admit that it has been a while since I last wrote anything with an ink pen on paper.

I did not realize just how long it had been, however, until I found myself attempting to pinch outward the way one would to zoom in on a screen on a journal page tonight.

[artemesianerdmom]

Parents who insist on placing an “eigh” in their children’s names where a simple “y” or an “ie” would be sufficient make me so angreigh.

[artemesianerdmom]

[artemesianerdmom]

Sometimes, no amount of rocking and singing and shushing will do.

Sometimes, you just have to deploy the infant straight jacket and hope for the best.

[artemesianerdmom]

[artemesianerdmom]

My Husband and his Spider: A Saga

The day before last, I asked my husband to wash out the baby bottles and then bring me a bottle afterward so I could feed the baby. While he was downstairs, I heard him give a frightened cry followed by, "Oh, hey there!" I assumed that our toddler must have startled him and didn't think much more about the event.

When my husband came back upstairs, however, he proceeded to tell me what had actually happened. While standing at the sink, he happened to look up and his eyes immediately focused in on a house spider dangling on a web about two inches from his face. The spider was evidently as momentarily frightened of my husband as he was of it, as it immediately climbed back up its web and stuck to the kitchen ceiling after he greeted it.

Over the course of our relationship and marriage, I have on more than one occasion uttered the phrase, "oh my god, I married Wizard Howl." This was one of those times. My husband has been known to rescue spiders who have found their way into our house in the middle of the night and take them back outside. He has also been known to nickname certain spiders, such as the one he called "Little Buddy" that lived around his computer desk last summer and evaded capture for days.

"I'm worried I scared him to death," my husband said of the kitchen spider. "He's clinging to the ceiling now and not moving."

Yesterday afternoon, however, my husband announced that he hadn't frightened the spider to death after all when he brought a bottle upstairs to the nursery.

"He was hanging out over the sink, watching me do the dishes," he said, grinning from ear to ear.

"So did you take him outside?" I asked over the crying baby.

He shook the bottle one last time and stuck it directly in the baby's mouth. "No, I was kind of busy doing the chore that neither one of us likes to do."

I thought for certain that he moved the spider yesterday after this conversation. This morning, I discovered that was not the case.

I had gone to make myself a cup of coffee and found my husband standing in the kitchen, craning to look up under the cabinets over the sink.

"Looking for your spider?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah," he replied. "I think he fell asleep on the wall because he was there," he pointed at a spot just below the cabinet under the sink, "for like three hours yesterday afternoon. I hope he's all right. I don't think he's a very smart spider. He probably needs all the help he can get."

"Oh my god," I repeated. "I actually married Wizard Howl."

[artemesianerdmom]

I think one of the reasons I enjoy writing so much is because my anxiety has me making up conversations in my head about ninety percent of the time anyway. When I write them down I can at least feel productive.

[artemesianerdmom]

[artemesianerdmom]

You think you know someone until the day you open his dresser drawer and find a used cereal bowl and spoon.

[artemesianerdmom]

Perhaps this is an out of season observation, but it occurs to me that most elves in mainstream media fall into one of two categories:

They are either Legolas

or Buddy.

[artemesianerdmom]

A good friend of mine who watches Bluey despite not having any children of her own asked me what my favorite episode was. "I'm sure you've probably seen all of them about a hundred times by now because of [Toddler]," she laughed.

That estimate might actually have been low. I don't think Bluey is a bad show, but if I'm perfectly honest, most of the episodes grate on me at this point due to sheer overexposure.

I had to think for a moment before I replied, "I like 'Sleepytime' and 'Rain' the best, I think."

My friend took this response at face value and proceeded to list her own favorite episodes. After a moment, however, she laughed. "So, in other words, what you're saying is that your favorite episodes are the ones with minimal talking in them?"

This observation gave me pause for a moment before I realized, yes. That is indeed a good part of why both of those episodes stand out to me. It also put me in mind of a bit from another piece of media my toddler requests to watch on repeat.

[artemesianerdmom]

I may not be an expert on the life of J.R.R. Tolkien, but I am thoroughly convinced he must have spent a great deal of his free time simply dreaming up elf names which began with the letter F.