autistic-trans

[autistic-trans]

Just went through my old drafts and I’m realising how much in there is just vents from shit I saw on Twitter.

If you haven’t moved to Bluesky I highly recommend it, there’s so much less bullshit!

[autistic-trans]

The world has become a little brighter <3

Ding Dong That fucking Bitch is dead

[autistic-trans]

The more I learn about LGBT history and lesbian community lately, the more I realise how diverse lesbians are as a group.

Like it sounds strange to say doesn’t it? Of course lesbians are diverse, but it feels like when I was growing up, I was told again and again that only cis women could be lesbians!

Which is wrong!

When your only representation for a lesbian is a skinny, cis, conventually attractive white woman, who’s feminine enough to pass as a straight woman.. I think it says “lesbians are just like you, straight audience. They’re girls who like girls” without diving deep into what it means to be a lesbian, and how diverse our understandings of ourselves is.

And how you don’t have to be a woman to be a lesbian.

I think when most people hear that, they think “straight men pretending to be lesbians”, and that idea has been used a lot to scare questioning lesbians out of coming out.

Like, if you figured out you’re trans first like me, and you’re very confident in your identity, you’re scared to use a label that would make other people assume a gender you’re not.

I’m not a woman, I’d say my gender is Non-Binary but filling parts of a masculine gender role. Which I think butch describes well.

Coming to the conclusion that I was a lesbian, wasn’t just as simple as “I like girls”, it included changing how I thought about the term Lesbian and how butch identity has been erased in mainstream media. And what really helped, was reading books about butch experience.

Stone Butch Blues is an incredible book (but please read the trigger warnings first), it changed the way I thought about myself and my community.

It also helped me to realise, that the lesbian community has always had trans people in it. Not just trans women, but also trans men and non-binary people. The main character read incredibly non-binary to me, and the way it explores butch identity helped me with figuring out my own.

And I think if we bottle down what a Lesbian is, and we sell it to straight people as “girl who like girl” we do ourselves a disservice. Because what they think a girl is, is a skinny, cis, conventually attractive white woman, who’s feminine as a straight woman.

It’s like that idea in media, that if you’re writing about lesbians your main audiences are going to be gay women and straight men. Why do we have to appeal to straight men? Why does our media have to erase and tip toe around trans and butch lesbians?

Anyways. Ending this post, I’d like to recommend reading Stone Butch Blues and Dykette as they’ve really helped me understand myself as a non-binary butch lesbian.

[autistic-trans]

Brought the gender dysphoria rabbit to pride

[autistic-trans]

Shit doodles I made at the kid’s table at pride today

[autistic-trans]

I’m at pride, like right now, and you would not believe how many companies are there. So many carnival rides, random guys with carts full of rainbow flags with no clue which is which, and on the main stage the drag queen they got this year starts the show with “and a big thanks to our corporate sponsors”

I get the feeling I’m never gonna experience a pride without businesses all around us.

Apart from that horrifying realisation, great time!

[autistic-trans]

Diagram of how my own brand of romantic attraction works

[autistic-trans]

A very large aro flag.

[autistic-trans]

liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation not assimilation. liberation NEVER assimilation.

[autistic-trans]

Been starting to think of my experiences with the online lesbian community like one of those game shows where you have to jump through cutouts.

Everyone expects a lesbian to look like, and act like, one specific thing. And to be a lesbian you have to fit it, or you don’t count as one.

Even those who want to come out and reject this are kicked out, bullied, and are barred from calling themselves a lesbian.

Even those who were previously comfortable will realise, even they won’t be accepted either. For even the smallest things.

So if what counts as a lesbian is so slim then what will being a lesbian become?

[autistic-trans]

BREAKING NEWS

I GOT MY FIRST GENDER CLINIC APPOINTMENT

AFTER 6 YEARS OF WAITING ON AN NHS LIST IT FINALLY HAPPENED

It went very well by the way, the doctor was nice and I’m gonna get some follow up appointments. I’m hoping to be able to go on hormones at some point.

[autistic-trans]

I’m thinking just that, defining afab trans people as inherently oppressive over amab trans people for “having it easier” or whatever is just fucking selfish and self-cantered.

Like we’re all getting fucked over by transphobia and society here, I’m just sick of transmascs getting their feelings stepped on and trans men get treated like they don’t exist.

Like, why can’t we all just accept we’re in the same boat? It doesn’t matter where someone’s transition leads them, or how they where born, we’re all oppressed here!

What the fuck is wrong with these god damn people?! Just hating trans men cause they’re men and want to be masculine?! Get a life! Go fuck yourself!

Why can’t we all respect each other! Fucking hell!

I’m 23 years old I’m sick of fucking infighting it’s not 2016 anymore I can’t sit down and talk it out with some asshole who wants to start shit over being jealous of someone else! Go fuck yourself!

[autistic-trans]

Tired. I’ve hated being my agab for years, I start transitioning, and now I’m seeing an uptick in hatred for transmascs/trans men that really makes me wanna kill myself.

Why are we defining ourselves by our assigned genders at birth when that’s not what matters in the first place? A person’s gender is more important than how society assigns us by what parts we have and stuff.

All this transphobia towards transmascs I’ve been seeing just makes me wanna scream, and maybe just give up. Like I’ve been told all my life it’s best to just let everyone roll over me, make decisions for me, rule my life. If someone online thinks I should kill myself for something I can’t change about myself, god my brain just wants to go down the path of least resistance.

Maybe I should get off Twitter.

[autistic-trans]

just to be clear

i love and support bi lesbians. they are allowed to choose their own labels and none of you bigoted exclusionists can say anything about it bc guess what? at the end of the day theyre still gonna be the beautiful bi lesbians they are <3

[autistic-trans]

reminder that gender cant be tidied up into some distinctive "men" and "non-men" binary. you are not truly accepting genderqueer people when you use this sort of categorical framing. bigender people exist. genderfluid people exist. nonbinary people who dont even Know if they fall under "man" or "non-man" exists. and various other sorts of gender identities. by defining lesbian as exclusively "non-men" you are ostracizing so many genderqueer people.

[autistic-trans]

DNI if:

-You have a long DNI listing which kind of lgbt people you do and don't find 'acceptable' because you don't get to decide which labels are and aren't 'valid'

[autistic-trans]

Kinda wild going on twitter, and seeing people with BOTH rad inclus and terf DNI

Like damn, as an inclusions I just block on sight, but like.. isn’t it kinda telling?

Like you have such a narrow idea of what other people’s experiences and labels could be, that you’re adding radinclus right next to EVEN MORE EXCLUSIONARY AND VIOLENT THING THAT HAS NO COMPARISON TO IT

It feels very centrist, like.. “I support lgbt people, but not TOO WEIRD I want respectability in how other people identify so cishets understand us”… like fuck offf….