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Individuality that stands apart from the rest is a great asset

Nase Mitsuki (Kyoukai no kanata)

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Life of me 2017

Just posting a new book of mine here on Tumblr as well. You can also read it on my wattpad soon! My wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/iAyumi

Chapter 1

 We all have dreams and hopes, some may have big dreams and some may have small dreams. What I mean is we all have something important that we would like to achieve. Or not. Sometimes we would like to achieve something like our idols? And sometimes we like to rise above ourselves. And sometimes we just want to be alone and feel absolutely nothing at all. When I was little, my dreams were a little different from now. I wanted to be a princess, marry a handsome prince and live together in a sugar castle. Too bad, that is never going to happen. For this book I am going to share my story on paper with you and you can join if you'd like. First of all let me start with telling my background from the beginning.

 I was born on April 1st, yes April Fools day. I don’t really mind this but hearing like ‘haha you being born was a joke! ‘ hundredth times a day is quite much. Sigh, I need to let it go. When I was born, I was very little my parents told me. That’s because I was born 10 days early. Guess I just wanted to be born on the 1st. So I had to stay in one of those special machines, I don’t know for how long. Until I was healthy enough. So when I was one, my parents took me to Hawaii. I can’t remember anything really haha, I just like that I can brag about that I went to Hawaii. Not many people can say that. Those years were nothing out of the ordinary really. I went to school for like toddler. Kindergarten, and then I began with primary school.

That however was a bit difficult. Because I became really really introverted and didn’t talk until I was absolutely sure this person wouldn’t hurt me. Well you can imagine that I almost did not talk at all. So this person, was quite nice. She was talkative, funny and just fun to be around. I trusted her. She became my very first friend. The years passed, I was about 12 when a boy confessed to me that he liked me. I didn’t know why, but he said he really thought I was cute and adorable. Again, I didn’t know why he would think that since we never really talked to each other. But alright, so he asked me to be his girlfriend and I just gave him a shy ‘okay ‘. We ‘dated ’ for about two weeks? And everyday I was too nervous to talk to him. Because I didn’t know what to say and I was afraid to fuck up. And so, I decided to break up with him. The pressure was too much. But when I walked away from him, he shouted ‘yes!’ as he gave his friends high fives. This absolutely broke my self-confidence. I didn’t really have it in the first place but when I heard that, the last bit scattered to pieces. From that moment on, I wore a mask. I tried to be in the shadows as much as possible. Because what you can’t see, you can’t hurt. However, that act was quite hard to carry out. The first year was possible, but when I entered the last year of primary school we had a musical. And there was a character which seemed like me. Shy and introverted, there was a vote and you can guess who got one of the lead roles. Sigh, yes me. I also had to sing a solo part in front of a big audience. And multiple times, my friends tried to give me some support and just cheer me up but they voted for me knowing that I didn’t want to do it! So we had a practice, I had to sing into the microphone. My voice just cracked into the microphone fully. As embarrassing as it was, I decided to ignore my shame and just continue singing. When the practice was over, we had lunch and I heard my singing coming from someone’s phone. I looked where the sound was coming from and it were my friends laughing at my fuck up. They recorded the whole thing and kept playing it, even though they knew how embarrassing it was for me. It already took me a lot to even step on the stage. And to even sing something was a miracle. And they just made fun of me. I’m not a person to become angry and shout but I was pissed. I asked them if they could delete it because it made me feel very upset and ashamed. They just ignored me and said it was fun.  ‘You sound like you’re choking! ‘  ‘You really can’t sing. ‘

Well you can imagine that having to hear those statements from your ‘best friend’ is kind of shocking. They didn’t hold back at all, for months I had to be confronted with my stupid fuck up. And I’m not the type to just laugh it off, because I really get hurt easily. My emotions take over and I just can’t fake it. For months I avoided the high note, I just skipped it. Afterwards I went home and cried myself to sleep. My best friend didn’t see that she was really hurting me. One day I broke down and just cried on stage, the microphone was shaking in my hand and the words wouldn’t come out. I had a nervous breakdown, everything became blurry and in the distance I heard my teacher calling my name. Everyone was out to hunt me, to break me. Nobody could be trusted, they will just hurt you in the end. The teacher managed to talk it over with my ‘friends’, and they finally deleted the recording. Still the scars were there, they apologized and explained that they didn’t know that it hurt me that much. But they were all lies... I couldn’t trust them no more. I finished the musical, doing the high note softly and it sounded okay. I was proud of myself, managing to get up on that stage once again after all that happened. For the rest of the year, I just get along with the rest of the class, not really being in a group. I was just alone, and I wanted to be. Friends was a word that I didn’t want in my dictionary.

End of Chapter 1

Thank you for reading! Feedback is always welcome~ 

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I don't know a way to give up on my dream.

Hoshitani Yuta (Starmyu)

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One Ok Rock Live Performance Review

Today we will be talking about one of my favorite j-rock bands. ONE OK ROCK. So the band consists of 4 members. 

First off we have the vocal Taka. Now we all know he had an amazing sound... but! In the live show it is even better! Holy shit (sorry) his sound is even better than in the cds or in music videos. Something in his voice has a very very pleasant sound and it just keeps you wanting to listen to him for hours. BEST 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE.

Next we have Toru, Toru is the guitarist and may I say an AMAZING guitarist. When you see Toru performing it’s like everything around him just vanishes and he is totally absorbed into his guitar. It is amazing to see his energy and his passion just shows off a lot. Toru’s hair is a YES. My friend nearly fainted haha. Sadly I didn’t catch his plectrums... >//<

Third member of the group is Ryota! Ryota is the bassist and he is the moodmaker for me. Somehow it always seems like he enjoys the stage likes it is the first time he actually stood on one. I really love to see that feeling. Ryota and Toru together have an amazing teamwork that you can really hear. They know how to play into each other and that’s amazing to hear. Because you get that pleasant sound. Near the end he actually spit water all over us and I was quite shocked but it made me happy? Somehow haha xD 

And finally we have the cute oldest member, Tomoya! Tomoya is the drummer of the band and for me it is like he is the one who makes the sound solid. A strong baseline for the other member to go along with. It seems like someone who always has the other members back and he also seems like a stress reliever. When I look at Tomoya I feel peaceful and yet amazed, his sense of rhythm is unbelievable and he even impressed me above my expectations in his drum solo.

So my finally score for this live performance is 10/10!!!

If you like rock, One ok rock is a band you must see perform live! I believe this band can change the music world.