beautifulchaoswithaperts - Tumblr blog

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

I wasn’t dramatic. I wasn’t resilient. I was screaming for help

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

The problem is people are being hated when they are real, and being loved when they are fake.

~ Bob Marley

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

Dear someone who reads this,

Would you like me if I'm mentally ill? Would you like me if I'm mentally ill? Would you love me if I am "normal" ?

I won't care if you "mentally ill" I won't care if you normal or not normal.

We all need love and to be liked. Right?

Love meeeeee - my mind

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

Your parents are not "narcissists". They're typical authoritarian assholes who treat you like their property because society allows them to.

Your ex boyfriend is not a "narcissist". He's a typical misogynistic douchebag who treats women like shit because society allows him to.

Your boss is not a "narcissist". They're a typical classist dipshit who thinks workers' entire purpose in life is to generate profit because society allows them to.

And even if they happen to be a "narcissist", that's not what gave them the power to get away with abuse.

So stop blaming mental illness and start blaming society's normalization of abuse. Stop acting like someone has to have a mental illness in order to do something cruel when ordinary people have been doing atrocious things since forever.

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

I wanna die BUT I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!

I wanna die cause of bullying and how society treats me, no friends, and day to day living life, and so on.

But I don't wanna die cause I will miss so much.

Stop playin!!

I am scared of death but same time I wanna die its like a jigsaw puzzle tryna find out life with my illness.

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

Do you ever see it coming or is it always a surprise when it hits?

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

I miss your friendship it was not my fault that I fuxk up. My bpd my depression my mental health fuxk up our friendship. Please come back!!!!!!! I need you.

However sadly you didn't understand my sadness or my depression or how to handle me.

But i need you bad I am lonely

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

Pain is temporary they say

But for us, it's never ending

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

I hate when another person with mental health thinks they better then me despite me having mental health. Or is that just the voices in my head telling me that?

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

1hr ago me was wrong btw

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

Aaron Carter

Battling mental health is not easy. We tend to say stuff we do not mean because we have an "episode" or our medication is not correct and so on. But our family our friends should be there and support us no matter what however some family's do not understand sadly and tend to put a barrier up or a restraining order etc. Instead of supporting the person with mental health. I agree it is not easy for that person to see us go through it but we would LOVE to have that person support us any way possible instead of ignoring us and leaving us to suffer in more pain when we already in so much pain. A person with mental health struggle and cope in dangerous ways that tend to be deadly. Did our health care system fail us? Yes did our familys fail us? maybe how about our friends? we hang with the right people or wrong people but those who struggle tend to hang and be vulnerable to others who are not good for us. Fans like me and others saw how sadly aaron carter went down. And it disgusts me how Nick carter and his sister put a restraining order against aaron when he was battling. I get he said things but in reality he needed help. you ignore and when he died you all wanted to be advocates for mental health I call BS. People with mental health need people around to check on them or text them or say hey etc. Not to let them suffer more. I wish aaron carter got the help he needed. And those who struggle with mental health I know it isnt easy. In reality sadly some of those don't understand our demons.

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

Happiness should be like a drug. When you're sad, you pop happiness in your mouth and taste the sweetness. The prescribed pills doesn't taste sweet. But in society we take them to be "happy" sadly we battle in secretly until one day someone notices the darkness and pain.

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

wounds

wounds hurt, as much as people do not feel the other wounded person, it hurts. Physically and mentally that person does not want that wound open for a reason and yet there are times wounds are ripped off and back to healing slowly. There was a process of healing, and care but sadly the reality was other people do not feel the pain of that wounded person. Until they speak whats on their mind. Wounds are covered up just like the memories of trauma, pain, tears, sorrow. Wounds are covered up with a bandage for free rather then getting therapy. Back to wound healing again. sadly.

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

I saw an old asain elderly in a dumpster, diving for food. I wanted to rescue her. But there was a language barrier between us. I wanted to know that there are good people like me who prayed for her. She could be a grandma or a mother. Why does our prime minister let this happen? She shouldn't lived like that or have to go through that. It's fuckin depressing to see but sadly its reality.

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

Am I invisible or noone sees who I am?

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.”

— Mandy Hale

[beautifulchaoswithaperts]

There is hope isn't there?