beescryinginthecorner

[beescryinginthecorner]

just realised every time i come back to this blog it’s me having a crisis if i’m actually aromantic or not…

maybe i’ll rename the blog??

[beescryinginthecorner]

part like a billion of me trying to find out if i’m like romantically gay for this woman or just idk love him in a different way??

[beescryinginthecorner]

is me being in denial of being aroace internalised acephobia and arophobia or me genuinely not knowing if i am aroace and i actually just haven’t found the right person

[beescryinginthecorner]

🖤💜 Happy international asexuality day! 🖤💜🐀

Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity 🖤💜

[beescryinginthecorner]

i love my friend she makes me wanna crawl up in a ball and cry but in a good way

[beescryinginthecorner]

ok so uh..

i came out to my friend (and his brother due to him being in the same room) as a ✨homosexual✨ (read: fruity bitch) and the first question i get is “why don’t i see u scouting???” and i proceeded to also say i’m on the aromantic spectrum and explain that

fast foreword a few hours later (today) i get the question “when are u gonna start scouting?”

BOYS BOYS IVE ALREADY EXPLAINED THIS WE ALL LIKE WOMEN HERE BUT I JUST DONT FEEL THE ATTRACTION AS OFTEN AS U DO

and my other fruity friend is sitting there trying not to laugh ofc we’ve talked abt our fruit flavours but the ppl around us are straight and therefore haven’t had the need to.

[beescryinginthecorner]

no, i’m not gonna go down the route of “omg they showed me human kindness- I LOVE THEM PLEASE HOLD ME AND GIVE ME FOREHEAD KISSES”

i refuse to.

(i’m touch starved and crave validation and compliments)

[beescryinginthecorner]

wish i didn’t have emotions sometimes but maybe that’s the “i ignore emotions and everything else” trauma response in me

This may sound controversial but atp I wish I was physically incapable of feeling love than whatever I'm feeling right now you have no idea how much it hurts to know everything I could ever want all conflict with each other and I will never really be happy

[beescryinginthecorner]

Love is so funny

I was going over my romeo and juliet notes and found an analysis on how romeos love with juliet makes him feel light while his love for rosaline makes him feel heavy.

But I feel both

Love isn't just a singular emotion, it's the culmination of everything that you could ever feel.

Why do we put a standard on how love should make you feel?

What even is love.

[beescryinginthecorner]

i’m so unserious

i legit put the serious in traumatic responses

u see what i did there

cuz there’s no serious-

[beescryinginthecorner]

i just realised i haven’t used this blog in a LONG time

anyways

i am so confused with my sexuality rn it’s insane. like am i lithioromantic?? am i cupioromantic??? im asexual alright but am i not on the aromanric spectrum or not. i don’t even understand my own feeling sos how tf am i supposed to put labels i so desperately need to give me some sense of closure on my identity.

this blog is so unserious ok changing a few things lol

[beescryinginthecorner]

The funniest thing about being aroace is growing up in middle school and thinking to yourself “…you guys are too young to be dating. We’re kids right now.” And then as you get older and reach college you’re still like “…you guys are too young to get married, how do you even know you like them like that?”

Like no that’s just how allo people are.

[beescryinginthecorner]

Not to be that person but lying on my floor thinking about how I’m not scared everyone will leave me because I expect it and you can’t change the inevitable

[beescryinginthecorner]

Please do not claim or post as your own.

[beescryinginthecorner]

If I had a dime for whenever I got confessed to, couldn’t say no so said yes, convinced myself that I liked the person, proper believed it, lasted at least a few days in a relationship, then they break with me but then after I don’t feel anything much about it since I realised halfway through I didn’t like the person and I didn’t want to end the relationship so I waited for them to break up with me since of course that would happen.

I’d have two dimes. Which isn’t a lot but it’s funny it happened twice.