bittersweetdreams28-blog

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

“You fascinate me. I hate you. We sense everything between us, every ripple, existent and nonexistent; it is tiring.” — John Updike, from “Wife-Wooing,”

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

but what if I did say what I was thinking? What if I told you now that I was finding less than zero restraints when you mentioned how you love looking at my eyes, lips and glancing at them for what seemed like a ridiculous amount of seconds. What if I said what I was thinking by leaning in when you did. What if I surrendered to your hands on me?

Bittersweetdreams28

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

Reluctance

She tried holding herself with indifference. Plastering a pleasant smile on her tired face. “I'm really glad we’re on the same page,” he says, and she reluctantly agrees. 

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

“As white as the tee shirt I wore when you untangled me.” -bittersweetdreams28

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

“That's quite beautiful,” she said as she traced the delicate layers of the blush stained flowers.

“there are a lot of them” He mumbled hands stuck deep inside his pockets as he glanced around.

Glimpsing to her side as she matched his strides; sighing as she said “-but there's only one of you.”

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

I'm starting to want you to want me more

That's a liability I can't have.

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

I think it's quite masochistic to impose myself in situations that inevitably end with me at a loosing end. Yet, it's something I don't mind being; a stepping stone who helps him forget her name- the one who broke his heart of course. I'll love passionately until laughter finds its way back to his eyes. I'll learn where he finds his joys between sips of coffee and vinyls in the background. I'll figure out his jumbled fears and untangle them with my lips, all the while reassuring him of the better days to come. And after some time, I'll take my leave. After he's healed and his bad days turn into greater ones and he finds himself ready to love himself enough to love another again.

Bittersweetdreams28

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

I want you to want to fall in love with me and that’s unhealthy.

Marty McConnell, from Miniature Bridges, Your Mouth (via violentwavesofemotion)

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

Torn

I'm honestly torn

Between wanting you to fuck me senseless

And kiss the living hell out of me

To waiting until you're ready 

So I won't be just another girl 

To lay on your bed,

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

I want to know you far more than the possibility of knowing bits and pieces of how you take your coffee or why you look through vinyls often. I want to know why you look up through your lashes and how you find humor in every little line I'd say. I want to know if she keeps you up, the one who left you. I want to know the underlying reason why she left you because goddamn it I can't read any reason. You're an old soul, a bit of a romantic, a well versed, honest, passionate man who would probably laugh at the words I'm using to describe you right now, but i want to know you- really know you. Know your exhaustion and your predicaments. I want to know how your voice sounds when you ramble on about business math even though God  knows I can't understand anything. I want to know what erks you and what warms your heart. I want to know what thoughts you have when you're stuck in traffic at 6:30 and the raindrops chase each other down the windshield. I want to know what tea you like to drink and even silly things like if you like marshmallows in hot chocolate. I want to know your past and present, I want to know you.

Bittersweetdreams28

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

wishing to unravel you

Neither of them were certain As their paces both slowed Steps growing in sync with each other.

She wondered how on earth she'll be able to keep her mouth shut. How on earth she was to keep the conversations laced with small talk about how his day has been and if he adored coffee as much as she did.

It was infinitely hard, For her mind was swarming with questions for him. She wanted to press him until he spilled words of turmoil and confusion.

She wanted to know how he felt - really felt, I mean. She didn't want a summarized version of his unwanted thoughts She wanted to know if he was coping well.

So she couldn't help but wonder... Were there days when he couldn't seem to get her off his mind? Or other days when he became too angry with himself? Did he mistake something to be more than what it appeared to be?

She wanted to align his eyes with hers She wanted him to tell her all the things he remembered And all the things he wishes he could forget

Like the way she used to walk next to him How he knew of her mannerisms by heart. Her shoulders as it slouched next to his Or the way her hands would brush against his uncertainly

She wanted him to talk to her But she also knew he needed time But it saddened her- How she had all the time in the world to give him

But they had met at the wrong time He was a wilting masterpiece of vivid thoughts and nostalgia She was an aching artist observing him, a wondrous art she wishes to unravel.

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

Replay this and it's me

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

<3

I read your work and it seems to me that you have a beautiful soul, and are a kind person. I hope you keep writing wonderful pieces and i wish you reach your ambitions, I myself am a fan of believing in reaching out to try and make our dreams reality, so keep working for your goals and i am sure you'll make it there :)

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

024. “Vital Signs”

if i could paint your saddened self I'd paint every beautiful sunrise and sunset on canvas. i'd sketch every curve of the imperfect clouds as the rays beat down on the endless landscapes to show how beautiful your soul is.

if i could write a novel on how many ways you'd make me happy, I'd run out of ink having highlighted most of the words so you could remember them easier. To remind you that you aren't pathetic- not the least bit.

if I could make you see how loving you is something i cannot control, I'd ask you to hold your breath while you're trying to scream. do you know how impossible that is?

and if you ask me to let you go- to stop myself from caring. I'd guide your fingers to my wrist and have them rest where my pulse can be felt. can you control my heart beat? i can't control mine.

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

some days

There are days When I want to be ravaged Kissed aggressively Touched to feel wanted And then there are days Where I want to be caressed Whispered softly to Held closely to feel needed Then there are moments in everyday Where I want to be fiercely wanted Desperately loved cut wide open to reveal the vulnerability of my demons

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

simplicity is beauty.

[bittersweetdreams28-blog]

Front Row Boy

How lovely

are your eyes

and your  chiseled jaw

How lovely are your hands

as they trace the bindings of your notebook

How lovely is your silhouette as it reflects against the shadows.

How disappointing it is

for me

to want you

and to have you sit so close to me

as though a part of you draws near

but never completely.