blissfullangel - Tumblr blog

[blissfullangel]

my mother is where it begins

pearl (2022) // the hungry saints, Steffani cruz // Lidia Yuknavitch // Bethany Webster // gia (1998) // lorde // Gillian Flynn // Charles Bukowski.

[blissfullangel]

[blissfullangel]

Him <3

This sweet boy is so good to me and he's just so adorable. Last night was our prom and he took me to sushi (my favorite) and then he slow danced with me and engaged with my silly dancing. And this adorable boy really knows how to line dance I suppose. We danced in the rain and he kissed my forehead and twirled me over and over to watch my dress spin. I've never felt more beautiful then when this boy is looking at me. He never sexualizes me and he listens to my rants. He kisses me in a way I've never been kissed. Like he physically needs it. But not ravenous, like he's attacking me. Like a connection. I feel so connected with him when we kiss. And the way he holds the small of my back and wipes food off of my mouth after I eat. He brings out the little girl in me. For so long I felt ashamed to be a girl. I felt like I needed to hide it. Like in order to be a human I couldn't wear makeup or a tiara or spin in a dress. And then him. He hears my rants, he jokes with me, he laughs at my jokes and he calls me intelligent and cute. He sees me. I feel like a little girl in princess heels when he spins me and when I look up at him. I hold two of his fingers and I hold his face and I feel his stubble. And I know I am home, and I am safe. He will never hurt me. He is my safety.

[blissfullangel]

Vent about being left on delivered

He's so good at making me feel better and then making me cry the next day. I just wish he would talk to me. He used to respond every time I texted. he used to tell me before he disappeared. I think he's bored with me. I mean my ex got bored with me.

I'm probably just being dramatic because my ex used to leave me on delivered for days often. Like when he ghosted me for the summer. And I stayed. I always stay because these boys are safe.

I never feel safe and I choose this safe people, and then they get bored. They don't like me as much as I like them. They start out so good. The highs are so high. But I sob over them every day. They're my safe boys. They don't want to abuse me. They have lives outside of me.

So why do I always wait on them like a begging dog. I only want to talk to him. That's all I want. But he is perfectly content not texting me for hours at a time. And not even saying goodbye. I just check my notifications every minute. It's all I do, wait on him. I'm just too tired of boys getting rid of me because I'm not their shiny new toy anymore.

[blissfullangel]

Begging another guy to just talk to me

Why won't he respond?

He's so sweet when he responds and he says one thing then leaves me on delivered for 30 minutes. I feel like I'm with my ex again. Begging another boy to just talk to me. I don't understand. He just got home from a trip and he won't say he missed me unless I ask directly.

[blissfullangel]

Obligatory Intro Post

Hiya, my name is Angel. Here's a little about me

Born and raised in The States (PNW)

I'm autistic, I also have OCD and FND

I used to be a full time wheelchair user

I am in high school

I have a boyfriend who I love very much

I am panromantic and somewhere on the ace spectrum

I have a seizure and chronic pain disorder

I'm Polish-Jewish (2nd gen American)

I don't really like politics

I love John Green and reading in general

I'm honestly not sure where this blog may go but I believe I know how to use appropriate trigger warnings. Please use tone indicators in any joking interaction with me.

I'm extremely new to Tumblr and honestly quite bad at social media. I thought I would start my own online diary here instead of Reddit where I have been.

DNI

Basic stuff (homophobe, zionist, anti-semetic, racist, ect.)

Anti-cringe/bullies

Proshippers and basically anything that has to do with problematic relationship dynamics

If you want any NSFW interaction with me. I will delete and block anything sexual as it makes me extremely uncomfortable