brainrodents

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Please please please

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I've got a question for you. What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Towed

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All the torso animated studies.

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book of hours is a game for people who get sexual thrill from editing spreadsheets

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Remind me later.

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It's "See how well you can follow instructions" time ya lil fuckers!!

Here's a poll, you can't press any of the options, that's the only rule, no voting. Reblogs, likes, and comments are totally allowed, you just can't vote

You all have one week, let's see how this goes

@maryland-no-rabies Tagging cause I need people to see this

Have fun !!

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Day 84

[Video description: A digital animation of Kaveh spinning to a low quality version of the song Funky Town by Lipps Inc.]

[brainrodents]

There's been. So much happening in my life.

Storytime under the cut.

I thought, since I was a teenager, that I was strictly aroace. Uninterested in sex, romance, all of it. I scoffed when people told me I just hadn't found the right person, scowled at how people mourned for my supposed loss of an essential part of life, and generally was annoyed by people insisting I was wrong because doesn't everyone know that being wrong is bad.

Que this year when I found out being wrong isn't all that awful.

I joined a discord full of nerds around my age, expecting to chat about anime, games, stuff like that. And I did, a lot. At some point I became a regular in chat to the point people would ask if I'm okay if I didn't show up for a day.

And I made some good friends on there too, wonderful people truly. But there's one person who... Became special. I didn't even notice it, but at some point I started talking to my real life friends about him. And I talked a lot about him. And they asked me "hey are you sure you two are just friends?"

And I answered something along the lines of "yeah, of course we are. I'm literally the most aroace person out there."

Then I found out my friend and I lived closer together in real life, so I made some plans to meet him. We talked even more, got closer, and I noticed I felt weird talking to him now.

Enter my utter panic when literally the day before I met him I realized I'd somehow caught *feelings* for this guy. Me, the self proclaimed most aroace person to ever aroace! With feelings! I couldn't understand it. And despite my attempts to repress it I found it was very hard to do since this was literally the first time in my life I was dealing with having a crush.

You know, most people have no idea how to help you if your first and only crush is something you got as an actual adult.

I analyzed and reanalyzed every single message he sent me, every single interaction we had, relived every moment when we hung out for real (after that first meeting I ended up having several more times we met up). Hoping I was wrong about my feelings and also hoping to get some insight into his. I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted him to like me back or if I wanted him to only see me as a friend because both options were awful in different ways. One was just terrifying and the other was heartbreaking.

My poor real life friends were dealing with my whining and uncertainty and general discomfort with my own situation nearly every day for a solid month. I still feel bad about it.

Now, the funny thing about never having any romantic interactions when you're younger is you don't recognize romantic actions when they're directed at you later on. So my friend who I had a crush on was sending massive billboard sized hints at me. He held my hand, commented on how much he loves to cuddle me, made multiple "jokes" about being open to dating me, told me I smell good. He literally told me he gets possessive of me. He was a blushing mess almost every moment we were together. The man literally kissed my head and then gazed into my eyes like we were in a romance movie at one point.

I picked up on none of that.

I was an idiot. I admit. I was a massive idiot and everyone who knew of the situation was getting sick of my shit. I got yelled at to just talk to him. I never did listen to any of that so helpful advice.

And so far, finding out I was wrong about being aro sucked. It was awful to be stuck in this emotional purgatory. I convinced myself that my first (and possibly only) love would lead to heartbreak, pain, and generally only the worst things.

And I ended up vaguely hinting to my crush that hey, I'm not aromantic actually. I happen to have developed a crush on someone and I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me back.

(he later told me that in that moment he felt extremely hurt because he was also convinced I felt nothing beyond friendship for him. He thought that he didn't have a chance and here was his proof that I didn't like him)

He was sympathetic, extremely so. Offered advice on how to move on, told me that this person is an utter fool for passing over me. I thought at the time he might've been a bit unnecessarily aggressive about my crush being "an actual idiot" for not liking me back, but I didn't read into it too much. Why would I when I'd convinced myself he didn't like me in a romantic sense?

I did notice when he got clingy, but again I didn't read too much into it. He hasn't explicitly confirmed it, but I'm pretty sure he was trying to comfort himself by getting as much as he could from a relationship he thought would remain platonic despite his deepest wishes.

Then, after a month of this silent mutual pining he was once again talking about wanting a girlfriend, and I asked randomly if he has anyone in mind for a potential girlfriend (I am somewhat not on the gender binary but I present as mostly feminine so most people default to she/her or they/them pronouns and feminine terms for me). He said he does. I asked who it is and offered to act as a wingman if I also know this person. Inside my heart was breaking but I was determined to make him happy even at the cost of my first love. I'd already convinced myself this was doomed so of course I would focus on making sure he's happy.

He started saying things about how I would judge him, how I would think he's weird. I promised I wouldn't. He still ended up making me guess people and I went through every single one of our mutual friends only for him to tell me I was wrong every single time. As a last resort I asked him if it's me.

Imagine my surprise when he answered with a simple yes.

And then proceeded to beg me to not judge him, tell me he intended to never tell me because he didn't want to ruin our friendship, plead with me to not end our friendship over this because he could get over these feelings someday and it won't affect how he interacts with me.

I shut him up by telling him I like him back and then we both started crying.

We'll be hitting one month together soon and it's still difficult to adjust to having a boyfriend, to being someone's girlfriend. But I do like how it's similar to friendship but more. And I like the warm fuzzy feeling I get whenever we exchange goodnight texts, or I hear his voice go softer when he talks to me, or the way he'll sometimes just stare like he's trying to figure out how he got so lucky. I know I do things like that too just from how he'll suddenly tell me I'm so beautiful when we aren't doing anything special, how he holds me tighter, how he'll start blushing randomly.

There are still things we need to discuss, things related to the fact that I am definitely asexual and he definitely isn't. But that'll come with time, once we're both less lost in this honeymoon period. And I'm willing to compromise to make things work and he is too. I'm fairly certain we'll be together for a while at least.

But at the same time despite all these new experiences and feelings I wouldn't say that, had I lived my life without finding someone to love and be loved by, my life would be lesser. I would still find happiness, just in a different way. I would still have connections, just of a different nature. So this isn't invalidating aromantic folks, this is just my personal experience in life. This is just me finding out that maybe being wrong about who I am isn't always only a bad thing, like it was when I was younger.

If you actually read all the way thanks for taking the time to just read through a random person's ramble. You're a real one.

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now im not one to encourage misinformation. and the new google ai thing is apparently just going off of seemingly random internet results for queries. that being said. the best way to tell if a loaf of bread is finished is to stick your dick in it. are you hearing me? the best way to tell a loaf of bread is finished IS TO STICK YOUR DICK IN IT. I SAID THE BEST WAY TO TELL A LOAF OF BREAD IS FINISHED IS TO STICK YOUR DICK IN IT.

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It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

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wdym an average platonic bond cant be deep and meaningful do none of you remember the power of friendship

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Mistakenly touched my weenor after crushing up a chili pepper for my Ramen honestly not as painful as one would expect more of a gentle heat much like the pleasant burn of cayenne in a spiced coffee or even much like . A chili crushed up in a bowl of delicious Ramen. Much food for thought

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silly single dads one-shot but they are not dads

Always wanted for Kaveh to have a step-sibling

uncle Haitham has a ring to it.

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Haikaveh brainworms 🤲🏛️🌱

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FISH 259 - COMMON STURGEON