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perhaps I am unlovable. perhaps that's all it will boil down to

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I’m so fucking behind in life I’ve never felt like more of a failure. I’m 19 turning 20 this year and struggling to get through my prep courses to get into uni when all my friends are already in their second year. I don’t have a job. I don’t have my license. I can’t stand being around my friends or even my boyfriend because it just reminds me of how much of a failure I am. I’m a fucking drop kick. I hate myself. I want to slash at my skin and watch myself bleed out.

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I’m such a failure lol

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I’ll never be as skinny as my boyfriends ex and that shit fucking hurts

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While I do appreciate the sentiment of people suggesting it would be better to tell him - I’m just not ready. The relationship is new & I can’t stand the thought of portraying myself as someone difficult to be with or problematic. I don’t want to lose him. Thank you for your advice but I’m going crazy here.

Does anybody have any tips on how to hide self harm from a partner that you’re intimate with? I feel like there’s no part of me that he doesn’t see. He’s seen the scars but I haven’t relapsed since I’ve been with him because I feel like I have no choice - he is going to see my body no matter what. I can’t take it anymore. Any ideas?

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Does anybody have any tips on how to hide self harm from a partner that you’re intimate with? I feel like there’s no part of me that he doesn’t see. He’s seen the scars but I haven’t relapsed since I’ve been with him because I feel like I have no choice - he is going to see my body no matter what. I can’t take it anymore. Any ideas?

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I wonder what normies actually think of self harm scars when they see them,,

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ok google: how do I make the anger and self hatred go away without slashing at my body until there is so much physical that I couldn’t possibly feel the emotional pain even if I tried

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WAKE THE FUCK UP.

It’s time to wake up. Food makes you fat. Fat makes you upset. Do you want to spend the rest of your life eating, crying and gaining weight. Just think about all those obese people who can’t cont themselves around food. Your not like them, you have control, you are in change. Stop making stupid excuses to justify your disgusting decisions. There is never an excuse for eating more than you should. Being thin is better than being fat, and that will always be the truth. Just fucking starve you fat whore.

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how do u tell the difference between executive dysfunction, procrastination, and laziness bc fuck idk how to

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What’s the difference between negative and intrusive thoughts?

Examples of negative thoughts:

They are ignoring me because they are mad at me.

I should have gone to the gym today.

I am not going to get this job. I just know I’m going to mess up and be too nervous.

They have everything going for them, what do I have?

If only I would have…, this wouldn’t have happened. It’s my fault.

Examples of intrusive thoughts:

I could just put that knife through my hand. 

If I walk into that room I could see a dead body.  

Do I really love my partner?

I should put my hand on the hot stove.

If I leave the taps on it could cause a flood.

Could I have or contract a deadly disease?

What if I’m actually gay/straight?

What if I hurt or have hurt another person without knowing?

As you can see from the examples above, intrusive thoughts are often questions, as if to deliberately provoke rumination and obsessing (in which the initial question is never truly answered). Intrusive thoughts can come about randomly, are graphic/disturbing in nature, and have no connection to the person’s usual behaviour or even the situation at hand. They are difficult to ignore because they either imply a catastrophic consequence or give the person an increasing sense of discomfort. Intrusive thoughts can also come in the form of false memories in which it’s difficult to tell if it’s an intrusive thought or a memory.

Anyone can have intrusive thoughts from time to time. However when the thoughts are more frequent and/or distressing it often indicates mental illness. Conditions that have intrusive thoughts as symptoms include: OCD, social/general anxiety disorder, depression, eating disorders, ADHD, personality disorders, PTSD, bipolar disorder, brain injuries, dementia, Parkinson’s disease.

Negative thoughts are more likely to be an emotional response to an event, relationship, or situation and are the result of a person’s low self esteem or past trauma. 

Sometimes negative thoughts can lead to or come after intrusive thoughts; e.g believing you’re being ignored and then having intrusive thoughts questioning/listing odd reasons why the other person is doing so, or having a specific intrusive thought about a loved one and believing yourself to be an awful person.

With negative thoughts treatment usually consists of re-framing them, and seeing the situation from a different, more positive perspective in order to adjust your thinking patterns and behaviour in the future. “If they’re ignoring me, that’s their problem. While I don’t understand why I won’t hold it against them. They might be busy, as people often are.”

With intrusive thoughts treatment can focus on the person allowing the thoughts to pass through the mind, reminding themselves that the thoughts are involuntary, and to not fear these thoughts or react emotionally to them (cognitive diffusion). Often a way to do this is through exposure, in which the person builds up to confronting their intrusive thoughts/object of fear and sitting with the uncomfortable feeling until it no longer bothers them and being able to do daily activities despite the anxiety.

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Satisfying things to do instead of picking

Cook a corn on the cob, let it cool and pop the cooked kernels.

Spread acrylic paint on a plastic palette or table (make sure it will come off first), let it dry and then peel it off.

Put Elmer’s craft glue on your fingers, let dry and peel it off (not only is it satisfying, you also can’t pick with it on).

Make/play with slime

Pick petals off of flowers

Crochet/knit/make a loom band project

Pop bubble wrap

Untangle something (headphone cords, jewelry chains)

Peel the paper off of crayons

Play with a stim toy

Peel fruits

Pour hot candle wax on a plate (let it cool!!!!) and pick it off

Crack open seeds/nuts

Pick those little seeds out of strawberries

Feel free to add more!!!!

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{Racists, LGBTQ+ Phobics, and ED blogs do not interact please}

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Sorry for being so loud

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Reason to Live #2411

For that feeling of climbing into bed (your own or in a hotel room) after seeing your favourite band/artist in concert, still wearing your new merchandise and wrapped in that post-concert glow as you fall asleep. – Guest Submission

(Please don’t add negative comments to these posts.)

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Some things I do to distract myself from obsessions

I noticed I get stuck in my head if I’m not doing anything, so I compiled a list of things I do to give my brain something else to focus on. I drew from multiple areas of things because some of these things might relate to your obsessions. In that case, don’t do them. Do something else. There are a lot of options here.

Listen to music– I recommend a coming of age movie soundtrack to feel simultaneously like you are infinitely small and part of something bigger

Bake chocolate chip cookies (put music or a podcast on in the background, sing along to Disney music! Occupy your thoughts with lyrics instead)

Look into how to make your own indoor garden!

Make a terrarium

Play a video game – Minecraft is good and the music is soothing. Play a podcast in the background. I recommend Dear Hank And John because I am vlogbrothers Trash

Read a book

Write a book

Moisturize your body

Paint a sheet of paper with watercolor, let dry, then write on it.

Start a bullet journal

Go on a run. I hate running but I can’t think when I run.

Learn Sign Language. If you have BFRBs, this helps so much to distract yourself. Learning just the alphabet is really easy and insanely helpful

Try to dance, even if you suck at it. Turn off the lights in your room, close your eyes, just dance.

Play Just Dance™. It’s a great game! Get ya exercise on!

Go to an animal shelter, look at cute animals. Local ones sometimes have meet-and-greet days, so I always go when they have a bunny run and I’ll just sit with rabbits. Very cute, bring a friend.

Text someone to tell them that you need a distraction. You don’t have to tell them what.

Poptropica

Make a blog and write a post about what you do to get your mind off things (haha… this is meta)

Watch old Buzzfeed Unsolved episodes and try to solve them.

Do a face mask. I use this when I need to not pick at my skin. Get free samples at Lush! Get a free sample of Cosmetic Warrior you won’t regret it.

Go Thrifting and listen to music/podcasts while you do

Bring a friend over to do ANY of these things with you. Especially if you have a talkative one. Maybe you can’t speak much because you’re in your head, but they usually can.

Try (and fail, probably) to make bath bombs. Idk why but they’re hard! maybe only for me bc I never have any of the ingredients so i just wing it

Go to the Dollar Store, try to find the weirdest product

Play the Sims, make at least one person in the family complete their ambition without cheats

Learn how to sew

Make your bed and clean your room while listening to the Tangled soundtrack

Try online therapy. This isn’t “get your mind off of it” as much as work through it, but it’s important. If you can’t see a therapist in your area, online therapy is great too. Therapy is important to help you be able to do these other distractions.

These aren’t gonna work for everyone all the time. I know it’s hard to get out of your head in a spiral. Sometimes it’s just not gonna happen. But if you can feel yourself starting to get stuck and you can put your brain power to something else, do. It will save you, at minimum, an hour or so of obsessing. And, at maximum, it will get you over the hump and you’ll be able to pull yourself out of the spiral. Good luck. It’s better on the other side of this.

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do you ever feel like everyone else is progressing in life and you’re not lol