c0rrupt3dfr3ak

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

many many thoughts ^^

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

"No way I'm a system...what do you mean thanksgiving wasn't a few days ago?"

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

GET ME OUT OF HEREEE

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

"all alters exist for a reason ♡" why did our brain split a christian tradwife part on a random thursday morning

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

still can't get over how on reddit i talked about splitting from stress and someone said "nuh uh that isn't possible" and then i provided a source and they said "uhm actually that source proves you wrong" despite me reading it over several times. (btw i am talking about splitting AFTER becoming a system, systems only form due to trauma)

source

"This appears to accurately describe how DID is first created and how new alters are formed in response to new trauma, high levels of stress, or other overwhelming experiences." In reference to the Theory of Structural Dissociation

"In any case, additional alters are usually the result of extreme stress. The mind does not like to be fractured even when an individual already has DID or OSDD-1. Many individuals cannot split unless a split is strictly necessary for their protection, functioning, or ability to remain hidden as a system. That said, there are exceptions. Some individuals may become so used to using splitting as a coping mechanism that they may split easily in response to seemingly minor stressors. For example, if an individual finds going to the doctor triggering, an alter may split that exists only to attend medical appointments."

Not to mention how multiple systems talk about splitting from different amounts of stress and the fact that splitting is still not super researched. If your system rarely or never splits then that doesn't make every other system that does wrong.

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

*switches after midnight* new year new me

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

i feel like so many fakeclaimers think that just because a system has hundreds of alters that means they are faking. i hate being a larger system, i hate not knowing who i am, i hate that my brain's biggest coping mechanism is splitting, i hate the blurring and the confusion and the fear.

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

i wish i could go back, things used to be so good.

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i'm so tired of all this. i hope a therapist gets back to me because i don't know how much more i can deal with. i feel like my system's function has gotten so so so much worse and i don't know what to do. we are always blurry, everything feels foggy and scary, and i don't know what to do about it. the worst part is i feel like this is all just fake, that i don't actually have did and am just faking it without knowing it. but if i don't have did then which alter is the real one? who am i?

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

The future should not be plural.

The future should accommodate for those with dissociative disorders.

The future should have further more thorough research in dissociative disorders.

The future should be more accepting of dissociative disorders.

BUT

The future should not be plural.

That means children are getting repeatedly traumatised at an impressionable age.

That means children don't have healthy coping mechanisms.

That means children AREN'T SAFE.

The future should not be plural, but it should be respectful and accepting to those who are.

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

Why I'd recommend avoiding r/DID and r/OSDD

I have made a few posts on here already venting about my experience but I figured I'd make a bigger post discussing what happened and why I feel like the subreddits are no longer safe especially for polyfragmented and otherwise atypical systems.

We used to have pretty good function, we knew who was fronting and we had good communication since we felt safe and supported as well as getting therapy. Ever since we began looking at what other systems experience and comparing ourselves to them it has gotten a lot worse, we are now typically blurry and confused and we have a lot of alters who say "We're probably faking and I'm the only real one."

This is made worse by the subreddits, if you talk about anything that the person responding to you doesn't experience themselves they will fakeclaim you. You have a lot of fictives? Fake. You split from minor stress? Fake. You have an inner world? Fake. You have pseudo-memories? Fake.

It genuinely made our mental health worse to the point we are typically masking and our system has become more covert including to those inside it. While we are working on finding a new therapist who deals with DID since our old specialist moved it takes a while to hear back.

This disorder already sucks to have, you only form a system from childhood trauma and CPTSD so it's horrible that the communities that were once so supportive and loving are now simply people thinking "I am the only REAL system, the rest of these guys are faking!"

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

i'm definitely done posting on r/osdd and r/did since the communities are so toxic, they don't care if you post evidence they only care about "well my system doesn't experience that so nobody else possibly can!" i am fucking sick and tired of it. im just going to listen to research and my doctors from now on. i'm done comparing myself to other systems i'm done crying constantly because i don't fit in. all i know is i'm a system and that's all that matters.

[c0rrupt3dfr3ak]

intro post i guess

we are a DID system and use it/its pronouns, we made this blog since we heard that tumblr is more supportive than the DID/OSDD subreddits.

we are anti-endo and stuff, probably polyfragmented, and are currently searching for a DID therapist