call-me-pickled-herring-blog

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Q: What was Colonel Corn best known for throughout the Military?

A: His witty off the cob remarks.

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In a recent Mushroom Kingdom poll, Koopas have said that Ice Turtle is the best internet Bowser, beating out Fire Fox. Ice Turtle is now 1up from it's original spot, moving from the player 2 slot to player 1.

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Vincent from FF7 doesn't need to look far to find himself a Valentine. He just needs to find himself.

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Remember to be honest with your dentist. Even if the tooth hurts. I think they can handle it.

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Asexuals: *exist*

Sigmund Freud: *pterodactyl screeching*

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There are coins all over my house. Pennies, nickles, dimes, quarters. Everywhere. I really don't mind though. I like seeing change everywhere I turn. Gives me something to believe in.

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I feel that it’s a bit of a rocky road to become a geologist, but as long as they have a great lava all they do, it may seem like their dreams are but a stones throw away.

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Q: What do you call someone who helps you pick out a mask for a costumed dance?

A: A mask-er-aid.

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Woman’s Duty

I was watching this anime show and this guy was like “It’s a woman’s duty...” and he made this chick lay with this guy to keep him warm for two days.

Guys, a woman’s only duty (doody) is whatever comes out of the hole of her booty. Goll, get a grip sheeple!

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From the eternal and wise words of Garfield, the lasagna loving cat: "Momma didn't raise no bounce house". That is all.

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I met some bunny cute today. Yet, something about him really Buggs me....I don't know what it is. Then again, he was a bit daffy....And sang this looney tune over and over again.

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Wesker in the Wind, a new floral fragrance brought to you by the same company who invented the T-virus, Umbrella.

With our newest scent, watch yourself bloom into who your meant to be. Mutate into your ultimate form. Wear your sunglasses at night without feeling the contempt of others upon you.

Get your own bottle of Wesker in the Wind at any infected sites near you!

hi i know this is a dead trend but hey have some flower crown whiskers i made like two years ago kthxbye

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What do you call it when you're playing Sudoku to attract a mate? Seducto

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A llama said to his alpaca friend one day ,"I think we should have a picnic tomorrow." To which his friend replied with a grin,"That sounds great, Alpaca lunch!"

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I named the big toe on my left foot Beetoehoven. Thought you all should know.

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Potatoes don't always lie, but they do like to starch the truth from time to time.

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Arts and crafts that are made based off of Harry Potter should be called “Pottery”.