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[certifiedl0verboy]

12 days of kolowv: day 8

my baby @theapocryphaofantares's birthday is in eight days, and because i love him with all my heart he gets a small microfic every day until he gets his big present on his actual birthday.

prompt: eavesdrop | jegulus | words: 640

“You’re going to have to talk to me at some point,” James says. “You can’t ignore me forever.”

“Watch me,” Regulus replies, his eyes still focused on the door.

“We’re locked in a closet,” James reminds him.

“We still have five minutes.”

“Keeping track, huh?” James says, and Regulus may not be looking at him, but he can clearly hear the smile that’s on James’ face. “You hate me that much?”

Regulus doesn’t know how to respond, because that’s the whole fucking problem.

He doesn’t hate James. He’s so stupidly crushing on him that he’s drowning and he doesn’t know how to pull himself out. Regulus can try and pretend all he wants that he doesn’t like James, but it’s hard to do that when his entire mind and body are consumed by the thought of him.

See, Regulus made the mistake of coming to this party that his brother was hosting, and Sirius had brought up the idea of playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. Regulus refused to play at first, but Barty convinced him to play and Regulus, a little tipsy, finally agreed. When James had also agreed to join, Regulus automatically wanted out. Sure, there were a lot of people playing, but of course, it would be just his fucking luck that when Regulus spun the bottle, it landed directly on James.

So now here they are, sitting in a small closet, leaning on opposite sides of the wall.

“I heard a little rumor,” James says. Regulus wants to tape his mouth shut.

“And I’m supposed to care about this, why?”

“Rumor has it that you have a crush.”

“Where did you hear that?” Regulus asks, finally turning his attention to James.

“I was listening to Pandora and Dorcas talk—”

“Didn’t anyone teach you that eavesdropping is rude?”

“Sure, yeah,” James answers, shrugging. “It’s a little different though when it’s about me.”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m implying that you have a crush on me,” James says.

“You’re delusional.”

“Am I?” James is smiling now, and Regulus wants to bang on the door and tell his brother to let him out.

“I would never have a crush on you.”

“So why would Dorcas and Pandora say that you do?”

“Like you said,” Regulus says. “It’s a rumor. It’s not true.”

“Prove it,” James counters.

“I don’t have to prove anything to you.”

“So you do, then. You have a crush on me.”

“What will get you to shut up?” Regulus asks, rolling his eyes. “We have three more minutes and I would prefer to not hear you talk.”

“You want me to shut up that badly?”

“Yeah, I do—”

“Then kiss me,” James says.

Regulus raises his eyebrow. “Why would I do that?”

“You want me to shut up? Then kiss me,” James repeats. “Unless you’re too chicken—”

Regulus grabs the front of James’ t-shirt and pulls him forward. It’s awkward and clumsy at first—their noses bumping into each other because it’s dark and Regulus is pretty sure he kissed James’ chin before James cups Regulus’ face to get better alignment. Their lips are overlapped and Regulus lets out a small noise when James nips at Regulus’ bottom lip. James tastes like beer, and he doesn’t mind the taste when it’s coming from kissing James. Regulus feels like he's on fire, and all of this feels so right to him.

Regulus’ fingers are still tangled in James’ shirt when they both pull away.

“How many more minutes do we have?” James asks, breathing a little heavily. His voice is low and quiet, and it makes Regulus feel dizzy.

“I don’t know,” Regulus replies. Before pulling James into another kiss, he says, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.”

[certifiedl0verboy]

Evan jerking off to videos of Barty just eyes half lidded and unmoving from the way Barty's body is folding over and how he's rubbing his thighs together looking for any relief from the overstimulation of the vibe inside him and Evan's abs are tensed so tight and they're twitching with how close he his, his hand tightening around the base of his cock to stop himself cumming. The sweat sticking to his skin while he fucks his fist imagining it as Barty around him

[certifiedl0verboy]

rush, may 3 -- @jegulus-microfic -- 630 words

based off "so high school" by taylor swift from the tortured poets department! genuinely haven't been able to listen to anything else since it came out, and i HAD to write jegulus to it so <3

content warning for brief (but funny) mentions of the noble house of black's ... marriage system lmao

----

“Regulus. Kiss, marry, kill …” Dorcas glances around at the group, her eyes scanning over Lily, who’s curled up next to Pandora, Peter and Remus sitting together on the sofa, and coming to rest on Sirius on the floor at James’ side.

“Sirius.”

Immediately, Sirius starts laughing. James can't help but laugh too, watching as opposite him, on the other sofa with Evan and Barty, Regulus’ mouth drops open. “My brother?” he blurts out in disbelief.

Dorcas holds up a finger. “No, hold on, I’m not finished.”

Batting his eyelashes, Sirius makes kissy noises at Regulus, whose face twists into a disgusted expression that could curdle milk. “Come on, Reg. What’s a little bit of marriage between family? Not like it hasn’t happened before.”

Peter and Remus start giggling at this, and Sirius lolls his head back to grin at them. “What? I mean, I don’t think anyone’s married their brother before, but there’s always a first for everything. Toujours pur, right?"

“I will shove my wand down your throat,” Regulus threatens, pointing said wand at his brother. “I’ll kill you.”

“That’s not a very nice way to treat your brother and your husband.”

“I refuse to—”

“Oi!” Dorcas raises her voice to be heard, and the two of them reluctantly stop bickering. Regulus, with a scowl, leans back. “Kiss, marry, kill Sirius …” She swivels her finger around to point at Barty “Barty …” who smirks, and then, torn between picking either Lily or Pandora, who both freeze and look at her in anticipation, she flicks that finger at— “James.”

James blinks. He forces himself not to look in Regulus’ direction, trying hide his smile as a rush of embarrassment creeps in. Of course, Dorcas has no idea about them, but just the fact that she picked him for the game makes his stomach flutter a little bit.

Regulus is still scowling as he jabs his wand at Sirius. “Kill Sirius.”

“Oh, what?” Sirius protests, but he’s still laughing. “Reg, really? So you don’t want to kiss or marry me? I’m distraught.”

Ignoring him, Regulus continues, “Kiss Barty. And I guess …” He screws his nose up as if it’s hard for him to make the decision, but James knows it’s all for show. “Marry Potter?”

Looking up in surprise, James plays along. “Marry me? Thought you found me annoying?”

“I do.” He reaches for the firewhiskey bottle down by the side of the sofa. “But I’m not kissing or marrying my brother, and Barty and I have kissed before, so it won’t be much different. Plus, I can divorce you after.”

“Wow, I’m flattered.”

“You shouldn’t be. Your ego is already big enough. I’m not trying to stroke it any further.”

Later that night, when James pulls away from Regulus’ lips, he asks as he catches his breath, “Marrying me and then divorcing me, are you, love?”

“What?” Regulus rolls his eyes. His hair is messy from where James has had his fingers in it. “Oh, stop it. It was a game and you know it. I would’ve picked you for all three if I could, but then that would’ve been too suspicious.”

“All three?” James hooks his fingers through the belt loops in Regulus’ trousers, pulling him closer and pressing lips to the underside of his jaw. “So you’d murder me, Reggie? Is that what you’re saying?” 

“Mm, perhaps,” Regulus muses, tilting his head back so James’ mouth can move down his neck, his arms around James’ shoulders. “If it means no one else could have you, and I got to keep you forever, then yes.”

“You already kill me everyday just by existing,” James murmurs.

[certifiedl0verboy]

12 days of kolowv: day 9

my baby @theapocryphaofantares's birthday is in nine days, and because i love him with all my heart he gets a small microfic every day until he gets his big present on his actual birthday.

prompt: salt | frenemies jarty | words: 848

“You’re such a—not a nice person,” James grits out. He’s angry, he’s so fucking annoyed, and he has two eleven-year-olds in the minivan with him so of course he can’t fully express how he’s feeling. Barty is sitting in the front seat, feet on the dashboard, and analyzing the stupid hand tattoos that James never failed to remind him looked like shit.

See, here’s the issue: James did not want to go to the beach. He wanted to stay home and sit on his porch with his kid, but Barty had other plans. Barty had busted inside their house and walked into the kitchen with Luna in tow in a bathing suit and heart-shaped sunglasses on her head. Barty’s holding a large beach bag, and sticking out of it were sand castle molds. James and Harry sat at the small dining table eating a late breakfast. And as Harry was mid-bite of his pancakes, he looked at Luna, then looked at Barty, then looked at James.

“Appa,” Harry said. “Are we going—”

“No,” James answered quickly. “No way.”

But yet, here is James, driving Harry, Luna, and the idiotic man-child to the beach.

“Not a nice person, huh?” Barty questions. “I have two other people in this car who beg to differ.”

“Don’t speak for my kid,” James says, eyes still on the road. He sighs. “I hate the beach.”

“I know,” Barty replies. “Why do you think we’re going?”

And it takes everything in James not to stop the car and throw Barty out.

--

“Appa,” Harry says, standing in the ocean with James. Harry’s wiggling his toes in the sand and they’re watching Barty and Luna play in the water, splashing each other. Luna’s laughter is loud, and it brings a small smile to James’ face. “Uncle Barty said that the foam in the water is whale sperm.”

“What?” James asks, smile quickly replaced by a look of disgust. “No, Harry, don’t listen to him.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not true.”

“So what it is then?”

“Not—not whatever Uncle Barty said.”

“Whale sperm.”

“Okay, you don’t need to say it again,” James mutters. “Don’t tell anyone else that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you shouldn’t be spreading misinformation to others,” James replies. “Your uncle is a moron who doesn’t know what’s coming out of his mouth half the time.”

Harry shrugs, and James knows that Harry isn’t going to listen to him anyway. Barty is carrying Luna out of the water, who looks exhausted but has a big smile plastered on her face. When they get closer to James and Harry, Barty looks down at James and where he’s standing and looks back up at him.

“Gross,” Barty says.

“What?” James deadpans, clearly not in the mood to deal with Barty's bullshit. “What is so gross?”

“Harry,” Barty says, nodding towards James. “Your dad is stepping in whale sperm.”

Harry and Luna break out into laughter, and James wants to bury Barty in the sand and make him suffocate.

--

“Uncle James,” Luna whispers, crouching next to him. James jumps a little, not expecting Luna to be right there. “Uncle James, what are you doing with Uncle Barty’s soda?”

James had this incredible idea while Barty and Harry trekked a little further down the beach to build sand castles. Barty had left his can of soda near James, opened and half empty. When Barty had his back turned, James took the can and dumped out the contents. He waited when Barty wasn’t paying attention to him before jogging up to the ocean and carefully replacing the soda with ocean water.

“Shh,” James says, putting his finger against his lips. “Don’t tell Uncle Barty.”

“Are we playing a prank?” She asks, tilting her head.

“Yeah,” James answers, nodding. “But we have to be sneaky, okay?”

“Can I help?”

“Sure, of course,” James says.

Luna holds out her hand, and James looks at her with a confused look. Once he realizes she’s waiting for him to give her the can, he hands it to her. He watches as she slightly jogs over to Barty, and he quickly gets up and walks as far as he can from the ocean and gets settled at their spot to make it look like he has no idea what’s going on.

He watches Luna hand him the can, and Barty stands up and ruffles her hair before taking the can and sipping on it. James snorts when he watches Barty spit the salt water out. He can hear him say something to Luna, but then he sees Luna pointing at him. Barty follows where Luna is pointing at and James doesn’t have to be up close to know that Barty is pissed.

James makes himself comfortable on the beach towel, lays down, and closes his eyes.

That’s what Barty gets for fucking dragging James to the beach in the first place.

[certifiedl0verboy]

"And I turn the six upside down — it’s a nine now”

- this ur man?

YEAH. YEAH THAT IS MY MAN. drake is my religion btw

[certifiedl0verboy]

why you gotta fight with me at cheesecake ☹️ you know I love to go there ☹️

nah drake's best song child's play my anthem my lifeline

[certifiedl0verboy]

now let me say i’m the biggest hater: I hate the way that you walk, I hate the way that you talk, I hate the way that you dress, I hate the way that you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it’s gon’ be direct

omg keep going why did u stop

[certifiedl0verboy]

drake sucks

if this is frost i'll fight u

[certifiedl0verboy]

animagus / 821 words / @jegulus-microfic dedicated to my spam victim (affectionate) @certifiedl0verboy <3

Regulus trudges after James through the thicket, almost absent-mindedly- only to entirely avoid dwelling on the mud caked on his new shoes and the torrential downpour the trees provide no solace from. His white shirt is drenched, the fabric clinging to his skin and he would honestly rather be anywhere else than almost stumbling over twigs and squinting his eyes just to hardly keep up with his boyfriend.

“Are you sure?” Regulus swerves around part of a tree he didn’t see before, branches jutting out of the trunk at sharp angles. He wants to let out a groan, to go back to his dorm, dry off and invest his time in a novel instead, but James just turns back around and stands, an outstretched hand offered to him. Regulus, very nearly, wants to ask, Is this worth it?

A clash of thunder booms overhead, the sound of it shaking the ground he stands on, and Regulus feels the wind on his back, pushing him forward.

He still takes the hand he’s offered, wet from the rain and his grip unyielding. James, from what Regulus can see through his perpetually squinting eyes, smiles. “You’ve played Quidditch in thunderstorms, Reg. You can handle this.” James says, practically yelling over the roar of wind and rain.

He lets himself be pulled past damp dead tree trunks and fallen branches, past divets in the ground full of water reminiscent of still lakes, and thick mud they sink into. “That doesn’t mean I’m willing to get sick before O.W.Ls, James. I-” Regulus stumbles over a rock lodged in the mud, just barely able to stop himself from falling on his face with James’ support.

“Where are those Seeker reflexes?” James teases, wet curls sticking to his forehead.

Regulus is absolutely miserable. It doesn’t help that James is taunting him when he’s sure they’ll both be sick as dogs tomorrow, and he’ll be unable to explain to Evan why he’s coming back to their dorm looking like a wet cat because he was foolish enough to not bring his wand along with him.

James leads the way, pulling on his hand until they reach a small clearing surrounded by a copse of trees. In the centre of the thicket is a large ball, probably inflatable, by the looks of it- and the only thing Regulus can think of is why it hasn’t moved from the centre the whole time.

Regulus blinks, standing entirely too still in the rain- and James thinks this is funny. His face is twisting like he’s holding back his laughter as his eyes move from the entirely too-stationary ball to Regulus whose mouth is twitching upwards in displeasure.

“Well?”

James waits for an answer, letting go of Regulus’ hand to step closer to the ball, the amusement never leaving his face. Bastard.

“It’s a ball.” Regulus deadpans. “You risked us getting sick in the rain… for a ball.”

James nods, and Regulus notes the way the rain seems to be lessening, from a heavy downpour to almost a drizzle. “Sirius and I put it out here for Moony. I know it isn’t your thing, but I thought you’d enjoy it, now that you’re… in a similar condition.”

An animagus. One of them, is someone who’s forced to watch his friend’s bones shift as he screams in agony once every month.

Regulus inhales, crossing his arms over his chest, the material of his shirt squelching. “What does the rain have to do with it?”

“Step closer,” James instructs softly, the smile on his face growing.

He does. Cautiously. Slowly, almost at the pace of a garden snail, James pulls him a little closer, both of them in the open clearing.

The rain halts entirely.

“Moony doesn’t like the rain on his fur,” James says, hand gripping Regulus’ wrist. “So Sirius and I came up with a solution. And you, I know you love the rain but you don’t want to be in it- which, yeah, I’m sorry for-” James pauses to scour for his wand, casting a nonverbal spell. “-that.”

The squelching of his socks in his shoes completely stops, and his shirt and pants immediately dry off. Unceremoniously, almost toddler-like, James falls ass-first onto the dirt below him, kicking his legs out and leaning back on his hands.

And oh. Regulus almost wants to cry with it, with the sheer level of affection James always presents him, with the way he’s always wanted Regulus to be a part of his life, inviting him in where he otherwise would feel overlooked. And this- isn’t his. This is Sirius’, this is James’, this is Peter’s and Remus’.

Still, James wants him to share it.

Wordlessly, Regulus moves beside James, sitting down on the grass together, resting his head on James' shoulder, the slowly quieting rain hitting the ground and the rustling of the trees the only sounds he can hear.

[certifiedl0verboy]

day 12 of kolowv: day 10

my baby @theapocryphaofantares's birthday is in ten days, and because i love him with all my heart he gets a small microfic every day until he gets his big present on his actual birthday.

also thank you to @ninety-two-bees for helping me come up with this, i literally would not know what to do without you.

prompt: temple | bartylus | words: 1,711 | warnings: blood, spiders, self inflicted cutting, blood drinking? i guess?

“I don’t think we should be here,” Regulus murmurs when Barty opens the church doors. “Barty—”

“Come on, Reggie,” Barty says, turning around and facing the other boy with a grin. He’s being cruel—he knows this, but he doesn’t care. “Are you scared?”

Regulus watches him intensely, biting his lip and looking at the church and back at Barty. He’s not stupid, Barty knows that if Regulus had the fucking guts to turn around and leave, he would. But Regulus Black is infatuated with Barty—to the point where if Barty demands Regulus to worship him, he will. Regulus wouldn’t hesitate to fall on his knees and sing his praises to him as if Barty were God himself. Barty could shove bread and wine down Regulus’ throat and tell him that that’s his body and blood and Regulus would swallow—maybe selfishly ask for more because Regulus is full of greed when it comes to Barty.

“No, I just—we’re breaking into an abandoned church,” Regulus answers. “What if we get caught?”

“We won’t,” Barty replies, stepping inside the narthex of the building. “Trust me.”

“I do,” Regulus says softly, slowly following Barty inside. Droplets of water echo around them, the wind blowing hard enough to make doors on loose hinges creak and hit the stone wall with each gust. Barty looks behind him and sees Regulus with his arms crossed, his eyes wandering and looking at everything except for Barty. Cobwebs surround the sanctuary entrance, and Barty feels something pulling him to go in even further.

He pulls down on the webs, watching as black spiders fall to the ground and scatter on the concrete. He stomps on one of them, the slight crunch under his foot, satisfying him. He makes his way into the sanctuary, running his hands on the wooden, dusty pews. He spots a few black books in the hymnal racks and he has this urge to pick one up and look at the pages.

“Barty?” Regulus asks, his voice echoing throughout the sanctuary. “How long are we going to stay here?”

“Until I think it’s time we leave,” Barty grunts, bending down to pick up one of the Bibles. He brushes the dirt off the cover and brings it close to his face, analyzing it a bit more.

“I don’t think we should be touching these things,” Regulus states, coming closer to Barty.

Facing his attention on Regulus, he shrugs. He knows that Regulus is trying hard to keep his composure, so he casually drops the book on the ground, causing a loud thud and a startled jump from Regulus. “I think you’re just being paranoid.”

Barty then holds out his hand for Regulus to take, and when their fingers intertwine, he takes him up to the altar. Barty looks up at the ceiling where there’s a giant hole, the moonlight shining down on them. He looks at Regulus, who is still gazing up at the sky and Barty feels himself falling more in love with the boy in front of him. He brushes Regulus’ hair out of his face and caresses his cheek. Regulus grabs Barty’s hand and holds it on his face, leaning into the touch.

“You’re so beautiful,” Barty whispers. “You’re so beautiful and you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” Regulus says.

I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours.

Barty crashes his lips against Regulus’. He’s kissing him as if he’s going to devour him, and Regulus kisses him back with the same amount of intensity. See, this is one of the few reasons why he kept Regulus around—Regulus always matched Barty’s energy. Regulus lets out a hum when Barty nips at Regulus’ bottom lip. Regulus breaks the kiss, trying to catch his breath and Barty just wants to keep going. He’s not sure if it’s because he’s finding it fucking hot that they broke into an abandoned church and are kissing each other at the altar or what, but he doesn’t want this moment to end. The love that he has for Regulus is blooming in his chest, it’s almost overwhelming that he feels it bursting at the seams.

He wants him.

No one else can have him.

Regulus is his, and will only be his.

Regulus can’t love anyone else, he won’t let it happen. And he’s not entirely sure what’s going on, because sure, Barty is a possessive fuck, but this is a different kind of possessiveness. This is the kind where Barty will do anything to make sure that no one can have Regulus.

I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours.

Barty kisses him again.

“Do you love me?” Barty asks, his voice low, lips ghosting over Regulus’. It almost doesn’t sound like him, Barty slowly feels like he’s losing control of himself.

“Of course I do,” Regulus replies, a look of concern flashing on his face.

Barty kisses him again, and this time, it’s more aggressive—more hungrier.

“What would you do for me?” Barty asks.

“I would do anything for you.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

“But would you die for me?”

Regulus pauses, and this time he pulls away from Barty—something he’s hardly ever done. Regulus would usually stay put, only moving away if Barty tells him to.

“You know that I would,” Regulus finally says, his voice cracking. Barty can feel the fear radiating off of Regulus, yet there’s still that sense of trust that’s there. It doesn’t falter, and it doesn’t seem close to breaking—Barty thinks that’s a good sign. Regulus is loyal, a believer—a follower.

Barty slides his hand into his pocket, pulling out a pocket knife that he carries with him everywhere. He feels Regulus’ eyes following his every movement. Barty presses his lips against Regulus’ forehead, giving him a soft kiss—the opposite of what he’s been doing. He still doesn’t feel like himself. If anything, it feels like he’s out of his body, like something else is controlling him and whatever is happening, he can’t make it stop. He doesn’t even know if he wants this to stop.

“Prove it to me,” Barty says, his lips near Regulus’ ear. The other boy shivers.

“Prove it to you?”

“Did I stutter?”

“No, I—How do you want me to prove it to you?”

“Kneel,” Barty answers. Regulus looks down at Barty’s hand that still has a tight grip on the knife, and Regulus swallows.

“What are you doing, Barty?”

“You said you would prove it to me,” Barty says, avoiding his question. “Did you lie to me in the house of the Holy Spirit?”

“No—”

“Then get on your fucking knees,” Barty growls. Regulus nods his head and does what he’s told. Regulus looks up at him, batting his long eyelashes at him and Barty’s head is pounding. He can’t shake this feeling. “You’ve always looked so pretty on your knees, baby.”

Barty opens the pocket knife, putting the edge of the blade on the tip of Regulus’ chin, making him look up higher. Barty clicks his tongue, admiring the view.

He knows how to make this better.

Putting the handle of his knife in his mouth, holding it between his teeth, he then rolls up his sleeve. His exposed skin is hit with the cold wind, and Barty can see his veins practically pulsing. He takes the knife out of his mouth and looks back down at Regulus.

“Open your mouth,” he commands.

Regulus hesitates, but he does what he’s told—the perfect listener.

Barty takes the knife and holds out his wrist where it’s angled the way he wants it to be and slowly cuts his wrist sideways. Barty licks his lips as he watches the blood start to fall, and Regulus’ eyes go wide.

Droplets of blood fall onto Regulus’ tongue, and Regulus doesn’t move.

I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours.

Once Barty feels satisfied, he goes and clamps Regulus’ mouth shut. “I want you to swallow.”

Regulus looks scared now, but he blinks at him. Barty wants to feel it—wants to make sure that Regulus does what he’s told.

“Wait,” Barty says. “Not yet.”

He’s shown him that he's capable of following orders, but Barty wants more.

Maybe Regulus has never been the greedy one between the two—maybe it’s always been him.

He takes his free hand and wraps it around Regulus’ throat, not too tight, but tight enough that he knows he’ll be able to feel Regulus swallow.

“Now, swallow,” Barty tells him.

Regulus swallows and Barty feels like he’s on top of the fucking world.

Here is Regulus—perfect in every single way—doing exactly what he’s supposed to be doing.

Worshipping. Praising. Listening. Obeying.

Some blood missed Regulus’ tongue, it lingers on his lips and Barty leans down and kisses him. The taste of iron and the bitterness of it all has never tasted so fucking sweet. He slips his tongue into Regulus’ mouth, dropping the knife while he’s at it. It clatters onto the concrete, and Regulus kisses him back.

After all of that, Regulus is still kissing him. Still loving him. Still obsessed with him in every single way.

Barty pulls away, grinning from ear to ear while Regulus has blood smeared on his lips now, and Jesus Christ.

He pulls out his phone and opens up the camera. The adrenaline of it all is starting to die down now, and the throbbing in his wrist is starting to get to him. He tries to hide the pain, not wanting to make a big deal considering he inflicted it on himself. He points the camera at Regulus, making sure that the lighting from the moon shines perfectly down on him.

He takes the picture, the smile still there.

“You’re so beautiful, baby,” Barty says, reiterating what he said before.

“Can we go now? Before your wrist gets infected or something?”

“Sure, yeah, let’s fuckin’ get out of here.”

[certifiedl0verboy]

do you wanna come over and carve your initials into me

[certifiedl0verboy]

"I had fun."

[certifiedl0verboy]

He isn't asking

[certifiedl0verboy]

"so how did you two meet"

she messaged me on tumblr and we became obsessed with each other literally immediately and now we are bound by the red string of fate

[certifiedl0verboy]

hello gm

[certifiedl0verboy]

full send - T | bartylily | 2.5k words

“It’s not like I’m breaking any records here, Red,” Barty deflects, stepping back up to the wall and eying his options. “No, you’d have to follow a marked fucking route to do that. You’re avoiding the question.” Barty makes up his mind, hooking his fingers into a hold and hoisting himself up on the wall. “There was a question?”

aka the bartylily climbing gym fic that absolutely no one asked for <3

[certifiedl0verboy]

One persons body horror is another persons body horny.