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If I ever have kids I'm going to show them the original star wars trilogy and tell them that I'm the guy in the Darth Vader suit. Then I'll make some shitty 'I am your father' joke I guess
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tfw your sister texts you at 1 am to complain about how anime video game characters arent hot enough
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Lover while eating me out: mmm u taste so fuckin good
Me, disgusted: watch your goddamn cunnilanguage
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IS CEREAL JUST WEIRD DAIRY GAZPACHO?!
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My aesthetic: a pumpkin in a toilet outside a Mexican restaurant in Florida
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How come when Santa does it its spreading joy and cheer but when I do it its breaking and entering?
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Take me down to Tumblr city where the posts are mean and the memes are shitty
#tumblr#paradise city#memes#meme#guns and roses#shitpost#text#text post#lyrics#funny#christmas eve#guns n roses
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Any weather is pool weather if you have a high tolerance to hypothermia!
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ITS TIME TO TAKE DOWN THE INDUSTRIAL ORGANIC EMPIRE
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What if everyone had a little wind turbine hat and they generated their own electricity with the wind of their movements.
#We could solve the energy and obesity crises all in one!!!#This is a joke I know this is not possible#But it would be HILAROUS#Wind power#Hats
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We don't know that he's evil, he's just morally ambiguous and moderately off-putting
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My dad just unexpectedly got up from the couch, opened the back door, and proclaimed "yup that's the moon" and then left
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Thank God I'm home for Thanksgiving so I can rip apart the entire house searching for one last remaining and arbitrarily thrown aside iTunes giftcard with which I will finally purchase Adele's new album.
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I don't understand why every candy that's artificially colored blue is called "blue raspberry"... Like why the hell are we making up fake fruits when there is LITERALLY A FRUIT CALLED A BLUEBERRY THAT IS NEVER USED IN SUCH SITUATIONS?!?!
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Exhausted and pie is to blame
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Scientists have been able to accurately identify unique attributes of particular species of long, thin fish which are exhibited only when the fish cannot find a mate. They know that eel when no gf
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