chaoticwritermind

[chaoticwritermind]

Have I Secretly Been a Pantser The Whole Time?!?!?

For the first time, in a long time, I have been writing consistently. Where did this come from? Did I have this ability the whole time?

I have had 'writer's block' FOR YEARS!!!! It was really debilitating. It made me feel frustrated, awful, like a loser, like I wasn't actually meant to be an author, which was very crushing because I have stories in my head that WILL NOT SHUT UP!! I thought I'd go insane from my lack of being able to write and the incessant noise of the stories in my head.

Recently, I wrote a 100 word scenario and posted it to a social media I have and one follower that I have been getting close too said they couldn't get the scenario out of their mind and wondered if I would want to continue the story with him. Like, I write one part and then he writes one part.

I was worried obviously because I've had writer's block for so long but I thought, "Fuck it! Let's give it a try."

To my absolute surprise, I was WRITING!!!! Who am I? Since when could I do this? Is it because I have a writing partner? Could it be because someone was waiting on me so that they could continue to write their part? Was it because I got feed back immediately? Is it because I am not planning the story out at all? I just straight up pantsed it! Pantsed! Me, a pantser ?!?!

I don't fucking know. But I'm interested in seeing how this new way of writing will work in my stories. Will it work? Will I choke again?

Regardless, I have agreed to write another story with my social media friend. It's casual, no pressure, just for fun. The best part of the writing that I've recently done is that it's actually good!!

I hope this new writer in me will stick around and I'd actually be able to get these stories out of my head and into the world.

I want to be a published indie author, while also making a living off it. I have so many stories to tell and value to give.

[chaoticwritermind]

Dark Romance Book Discussion

A tad bit NSFW (gifs)

I have 2 dark romances, one I have read and one I am currently reading, Wicked Pursuit by Katee Robert (Read) and Lights Out by Navessa Allen (Reading).

Masked Men 

Primal Play

Stalking

Dubious Consent

I read Wicked Pursuit fairly quickly and was hungry for more. I was/am obsessed with it. I want to read it again!

But …

Lights Out on the other hand ...

Good lord, it is taking me forever to get through a chapter. I honestly can’t comment on if it is good or not because I’m still on chapter 3.

In both books, I annotated.

In Wicked Pursuit, I mostly blocked out chunks of text that I really liked but didn’t write much in the margins. But I do plan on going back in and HIGHLIGHTING a shit ton more stuff because I am obsessed. 

In Lights Out, I’m still blocking out chunks of text but I’m also writing a LOT more in the margins. But that’s not what’s slowing me down.

I think it’s the way the 2 main characters have been introduced. It doesn’t give dark romance vibes to me and so it’s hard for me to go along with the story because I just frankly don’t believe it ... well, as of this moment in the story, which is chapter 3.

I believed Wicked Pursuit right away!

Anyway, I’m going to continue to read Lights Out because maybe I just need to get past the introduction part and get more into the meat of the story. 

With Wicked Pursuit, I didn’t actually fall in love with the book until the midpoint twist and THAT IS WHEN EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT STORY CHANGED FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!😆

I’m hoping Lights Out will be the same. I just wish it wasn’t taking me forever to read. 

But for a reward for myself when I finish Lights Out I’m going to go buy God of Wrath by Rina Kent

This is just my take on Lights Out as of now.

[chaoticwritermind]

I'm Inspired

Within the past couple weeks a new story idea has hit me. It's a story and genre I never thought I could write, well .... not seriously, anyway.

It's a Dark Romance idea.

This is the very gif that inspired the whole thing!!!

I get stuck watching it over and over and over again while the story develops in my mind. I have songs I listen too while watching this gif and the muse just takes me away.

It gives me hope that I could make something of this.

I read Dark Romance anyway so ... theres that xD

[chaoticwritermind]

A Gift I Wish I Possessed

I admire how Pantsers can just write and keep going with basically no preparation.

I do not possess such a talent. I need to plan and brainstorm and then ask myself the tough intimate questions of the story.

I wish I could just write and worry about that stuff later.

But I can't. I've tried.

All I'll get in return is a huge wall of writers block to enjoy :/

[chaoticwritermind]

Any Other Writers Have This Problem?

I have been in a foul mood lately after working on one of my stories.

The story in question is my Vigilante Justice Thriller, and it's a very important story to me.

I recently decided to go with a more abusive origin story for my main character. It was something I was undecided about for a long ass time.

Plus, it was the origin story that I had the most ideas for and it just makes more sense for her character later on. (She's filled with RAGE.)

But, my god, have I been in a bad mood since than!

I haven't started writing it yet. I've just brainstormed and outlined a bit. (The abusive origin story part.)

But to be honest, I have been working on this story for years. I've written scenes, brainstormed, outlined, written character bios, come up with other stories in the series, have a playlist for the story, and so many things on Pinterest for it as well.

This story has been in my head, taunting me, consuming me. And now I'm in a foul mood.

I worry that I'll always feel like this while I'm writing this series.

Is there a way to separate myself from my writing? Or do I just have to write it as fast as I can so I'm not in a bad mood for long? Or is this what it's like to be a writer?

[chaoticwritermind]

A Dumb Writing Choice I Made

While working on a comedic piece of writing, I decided it would be HILARIOUS to constantly use my main characters names instead of using she and he more. (It's 3rd person omniscient too)

BOY WAS THAT DUMB!!!!

Everyone that I've had read it finds it difficult to read because of the amount of times I've used the characters names.

Even when I have read it out loud to people they seem surprised/distracted by the sheer number of times I have used their names.

Which, is kind of funny to me.

But the problem is, they aren't paying attention to my story they are too hung up on how many times the names are being used.

THAT'S A HUGE PROBLEM!

What I thought could be funny is now distracting to the reader. I don't want that. Now I have to go back and change damn near every time I've used their names to the more "invisible" she & he.

This story is a little over 13,000 words and for reference I used my female main character's name around 1,500 times and the male main character's over a 1,000.

You live and you learn.

[chaoticwritermind]

A Movie Pet Peeve

So, I'm watching Ghosted (2023) starring Chris Evans and Ana de Armas.

Chris Evans' character is running around in a dangerous situation with a messenger bag hanging off one shoulder while also dragging his luggage.

This is the point where my pet peeve comes in. I cannot stand when characters carry purses, bags, back packs, what-have-you on one shoulder.

If they are walking, standing, or sitting, who cares. The problem for me is when something tense starts happening and they have to constantly struggle to keep the bag on their shoulder.

I always find this so aggravating to watch. It's like, put both straps on or position it cross-body.

I don't know why they want to struggle with that problem while all this chaos is happening. Securing your bag is an easy solution to a minor problem.

Like in Captain America: Civil War (2016), Bucky is being chased and he initially has his backpack on one of his shoulders, but then after throwing it to a roof top and jumping out the window, Bucky doesn't just put both backpack straps on he even snaps it across his chest!

This is really signaling to me that Bucky is dead serious about keeping ahold of his backpack. And he will not let the backpack get in his way of trying to escape.

Anyway, it really bothers me when characters choose to struggle with easily fixable shit.

[chaoticwritermind]

Well, hello there

I have the goal of self-publishing my writing. I just have to finish them.

My stories mostly consist of crime, justice, vigilantism, crime solving, revenge, vengeance, & serial killer, etc.

On the other side of my writing, I go off the rails. I will write satire, paranormal romance, parodies, and all kinds of funny silly stuff.

I am a chaotic writer.

My 3 main projects are: a vigilante justice thriller, a murder mystery, and a silly paranormal romance.

[chaoticwritermind]

One of my writing problems

I get SO many story ideas ALL the time!!

And yet, I can't seem to get them out of me and on paper. It is truly frustrating.

I can write notes, upon notes, upon notes about my stories but I can't seem to WRITE THE STORY. I don't know what the hell that's about, but I'm being driven insane by it.

Is this writer's block???