charlotte-sometimes-222

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

purposefully misgendering and invalidating lilly tino IS transphobic. even if you think shes somehow “harming” the trans community, nobody gets to decide whether or not someone is a ‘real’ trans woman or if they’re just ‘cosplaying as female’ (as i have seen some people put it). transphobia coming from within the lgbtq community is really not nice to see. i dont care if you dislike her for any reason, but denying her identity as a trans woman is transphobic and also an extremely slippery slope. you do not get to decide if someone is “trans enough”

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

genderqueer in the way that i definitely don’t experience gender in a typical cisgender way but i also cant be bothered to unpack that too far

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

Step Into the Real-Life BDSM Community

Now listen, my sweet ones. I see so many questions in my inbox from curious hearts longing to connect with others in the real-time BDSM scene. And honestly, I love that. There’s something powerful and affirming about finding your people, and see your desires reflected back at you in someone else’s eyes. And while the online world is wonderful in its own right, it is quite different from real-life community. So, allow me to guide you through some of it gently, just like I would if you were nestled safely beside me, asking all your nervous little questions.

So first things first: no two communities are exactly alike. Every club, every munch, every gathering will have its own culture, rules, and vibe, shaped by the region, the organizers, and the people who attend. So before anything else, do your homework. Look up your local kink communities, some will have FetLife pages, others may use different platforms or even require a referral. And remember, sweethearts… just because one club doesn’t quite fit, doesn’t mean the next one won’t feel like home.

But I do understand it can feel intimidating taking that first step. Society isn’t always kind to those of us who live and love a little differently. But sweethearts, please remember, you have a right to explore your desires, to learn what brings you pleasure, and to do it safely and surrounded by people who respect you.

So, let’s walk through some basics to help you feel a little more prepared.

Munches: Your Soft Entry

A munch is a casual, non-sexual meetup held in public spaces like cafés, restaurants, or community centers. It’s where people of all experience levels come together to chat, laugh, and connect, and no latex required *smirks*. If you’re new, this is often where your journey begins.

Here you’ll be gently vetted, meaning people will take the time to get to know you, make sure you’re a safe and respectful addition to the community, and share the basics of club or play party etiquette.

Don't be afraid. Everyone there had a first time too, and if the community is healthy, they’ll welcome you kindly.

Vetting: Safety First, Always

Vetting is a safety process - not a judgment. It’s about making sure you’re a good fit for the space, that you understand the basics of consent and safe play, and that you’re not there to cause harm or violate trust. So, be honest, ask questions, and be yourself.

The Next Step: Play Parties and Clubs

After vetting, you may be invited to attend a play party. These are usually held in private venues or dedicated BDSM clubs and are where you’ll witness or participate in live scenes. Yes, you may see sex. Yes, you may see someone tied beautifully to a frame and moaning under a cane or a flogger. And yes, you are allowed to simply observe.

But here’s the rule, my darlings: you must be respectful. No touching, no interrupting, no filming, no gawking. Think of it like an art gallery where people are expressing themselves through pleasure and sensation.

Now, a few important reminders:

Consent is non-negotiable. You do not touch anyone or anything without clear, verbal permission.

Just because someone is dominant, switch, or submissive does not mean they will dominate/submit to you.

Watching is allowed (often encouraged!), but again do so respectfully.

Every club has its own set of rules. Read them before you attend. Follow them to the letter.

The Space and the Structure

Within these events, there are often designated areas for scenes, known as dungeons or play floors. There is always a Dungeon Master or Mistress (DM) present, these are trained individuals responsible for keeping the space safe. They are there to monitor play, intervene if needed, and be a point of contact if something feels wrong.

Trust them. Respect them. And don’t be afraid to ask them questions.

You might also notice that certain types of play are not permitted at many clubs, things like edge play (for example: choking), blood play, or CNC (consensual non-consent). This is for safety, hygiene, and legal reasons. And breaking those rules can result in removal from the premises and legal actions.

It's also good to remember that every venue is different, but cleanliness is always paramount. If you use equipment or furniture, you are responsible for cleaning it afterward. Think of it like the gym, but sexier.

Consent, Etiquette, and Respect

This should go without saying, but let me say it anyway: never assume consent. If you want to play, ask. If someone says no, take it with grace. If you’re invited to a scene, clarify limits and safewords ahead of time.

And keep in mind that scenes are often negotiated in detail before they happen. No surprises. No pushing. Just mutual desire explored safely.

So always, always:

Ask before touching.

Respect people's boundaries, roles, and dynamic choices.

Don’t hover or interrupt a scene.

Use safe words or signals if you’re playing.

Never assume someone is available for play just because they’re submissive or dominant.

Clean equipment after use.

Respect others’ privacy- what happens in the dungeon, stays there.

Avoid clubs that disregard safety, vetting, or privacy.

And never forget: You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to ask questions. You are allowed to leave if you feel unsafe or uncertain.

A Few Additional Tips

Many clubs have age limits, such as 18+, 21+, or 25+ depending on their structure.

Some venues cater to specific groups: lesbian-only, queer, trans-inclusive, gay, heterosexual, etc. Find where you feel safest.

Dress codes may be enforced (especially at more formal parties).

You may be exposed to kinks you don’t share. Don’t judge. The same respect you want is the respect you must offer.

Photos and filming is strictly forbidden.

If you take anything from me, let it be this: BDSM without consent is not BDSM. It’s abuse. Full stop.

And One Last Thing…

There is no expiration date on exploring your desires. Whether you’re 18 or 58, queer or straight, vanilla-adjacent or deep into the kink lifestyle, you belong here if you come with respect, curiosity, and care.

So take your time. Observe. Ask. Learn. This world is full of fascinating, passionate people who love to share what they know, but you must enter it with respect and integrity.

And if your heart’s beating a little faster reading this, then maybe… just maybe… it’s time to take that first step.

I'm proud of you already. 💋

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

guys what the FUCK is a weck jar im getting so sick of microtrends im going to put these bitches in a blender

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

trying to jork it in peace and my fuckin cat appears at the door. i shut her out now shes shouting

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

I MISS 2020 I JUST SAW A TIKTOK THAT WAS LIKE “weird kid songs from 2020” and it was such whiplash but i miss it so bad

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

i found this really cute picrew!! https://picrew.me/ja/image_maker/2688078

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

Exam cheating tips from these two would be like

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

hey baby, come grind on my thighs, theyre ribbed for your pleasure

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

don’t kys, you never know when a new type of wet pathetic character is about to be introduced to you via tumblr.com/dashboard thanks to your mutuals

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

Too many people will pass around "always trust your gut!" and "your intuition never lies" content when actually your "intuition" isn't immune to either propaganda, bigotry or trauma reactions. Which is important to be aware of actually

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

your secret is safe with me.. and my mama, she knows too

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

Nap date!

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

i just want to have a favourite person and be their favourite person in return

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

inside me there are two wolves and.. oh.. oh lord… they’re frotting

[charlotte-sometimes-222]

is this global warming or has summer always been this warm and i just get worse at handling heat as i get older