chriswrz-blog - Tumblr blog

[chriswrz-blog]

I really love feeling like I matter to absolutely no one

[chriswrz-blog]

No one fucking bothers until I actually try to hurt myself

And because of that, I'm fucking done

[chriswrz-blog]

Why is it that whenever I try to do something I just realize how pointless it is, but never realize til it's too late? I think I'm ready to just sit back and let life do what it wants because any time I try to step in I just end up angering myself and wasting my time. Everything is pointless

[chriswrz-blog]

Why can't I just forget everything

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It's never just "Gee, thanks Chris"

Instead nothing is ever enough. I help everyone out as best as I can yet it's always my fucking fault when shit doesn't work out. I bust my ass to make sure everyone is okay but once something happens that isn't even relevant to me/in my control, you pricks wanna motherfuck me? Seriously just fucking fuck off. All I ever do is try to help despite never having a pat on the back or even any damn acknowledgement whatsoever. You motherfuckers could watch me disappear and I'll let you find out how much shit hits the fan because of it. Everyone fucking sucks. Eat shit God dammit. Like seriously just go fuck yourselves, royally.

[chriswrz-blog]

Another Offbeat Poem About Being Sad With A Poor Excuse Of A Structure

Back to the nights of no sleep.

Back to the pitter patter of rain that isn’t there.

Back to the tears that wet my face.

Back to the grey that covers everything.

Life is an up and down sorta thing,

Like mountains with sharp edges,

Threatening to stab you at each high,

And the fear of it that keeps you low.

Back to the too perfect smiles

Or the just in time enterences.

The barely being there’s,

But just enough so no one starts to worry.

Back to the cold that never gets warm.

Back to the heat that keeps you in sweat.

Back to the thirst that always stays dry,

Back to the wet that threatens to drown.

Life is a loop that never will end,

It went on before you,

And will go on long after you.

A dizziness never comprehendable.

Back to the tired despite how long you sleep.

Back to the loneliness that friends can’t beat.

Back to the laughter that’s shallow and dry.

Back to the empty feeling in my heart.

Life makes me wonder if there’s really a purpose

And if there is do I have a purpose?

Really I must be one of the masses,

Somehow existing but not really living.

A day to day flow,

But the true treasure of life seems to be upstream.

And honestly, I am so tired of swimming,

When it feels like I’m sinking.

Back to sitting in the bottom of a pool.

Wondering if I should come up for air.

Maybe I thrash and get someone’s attention,

Or maybe I’ll drink the water till it fills my lungs.

Back to the poetry that doesn’t rhyme.

Back to every line just out of place.

Back to the rhythm just not quite there.

Back to poems filled with despair.

[chriswrz-blog]

I can't hold everything in anymore

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I don't wanna be an asshole anymore

[chriswrz-blog]

Why

[chriswrz-blog]

I fucking cry myself to sleep, but no one hears me... And even if they did, my cries would go unanswered, as always. I can't even fucking explain how much of a mess I am nor does anyone fuckin understand it. If I tried to explain, I'd just seem insane, or like I'm overreacting.... I promise I'm not overreacting. My fucking heart hurts and I just wanna make it stop but I never can.... And I only did this to myself. Just make it fucking stop already.

[chriswrz-blog]

Wow, I seriously just fuck everything up. I can't even do MY FUCKING JOB right. Someone, just fucking end my pathetic excuse for a life already. I'm fucking sick of this shit. Time to go drink my sorrow away since there's nothing fucking better for me to do on a Friday night, because I'm just a fucking loser. Nothing but a forgotten, pathetic fucking loser.

[chriswrz-blog]

I feel like I'm in a realm of negativity and darkness, and I see no light.... How the fuck could I give myself another life without hurting everyone around me?

[chriswrz-blog]

Why do I literally fuck everything up lmao

[chriswrz-blog]

Why do I literally fuck everything up lmao

[chriswrz-blog]

I was happy

[chriswrz-blog]

Why do I always do this shit to myself

[chriswrz-blog]

I just wanna curl up into a ball and fucking cry myself to sleep... I wanna sleep. I can't fucking sleep. Instead I'm up overthinking and my chest is burning. I can't fucking do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't understand why I'm always alone at the end of the day, and I don't know why the FUCK I keep pushing when I'm always pulled back down to the fucking bottom. I'm a hopeless piece of fucking shit, and nothing will ever change that. I fucking hurt everyone some way or another, and then I'm really by myself. At this point I truly feel like the only thing that will get me out of this hell is death. I'm done dealing with this so-called "life" that I can't even fucking live. I'm a fucking prisoner to everything around me. Nothing is meant for me, and I'm meant for nothing.

This is more than me just venting at this point. This is a fucking cry for help. Someone fucking help me. Please.