clairdlunaa - Tumblr blog

[clairdlunaa]

not even five days of the year and i’ve cried so many times already i feel so pathetic

[clairdlunaa]

i’m mad all the time, mad at everyone

feeling rage and hate all day is not fun

and it’s all rooted in fear and sadness, which makes it worse

[clairdlunaa]

i understand oliver bc i too also love to be adopted by people….

i just want to feel loved

[clairdlunaa]

it has become painful

and quite embarrassing

just how much i need my friends

and how they don’t really need me at all

i can’t even blame them for that

for being more complete

or for me being so much less

[clairdlunaa]

i would do anything ANYTHING just to look like him likeeeee it’s never been this serious but it is

Jacob Elordi in "Saltburn"

[clairdlunaa]

the act of destroying the thing you love

so it loses its power to hurt you

[clairdlunaa]

can never be fully excited

if everything is in danger of fading away

at all time

[clairdlunaa]

are you mad at me?

(it was actually me the one who went radio silent in the first place)

[clairdlunaa]

have you watched the last movie i recommended to you?

did you like it? what did you think?

i wish we could talk again

[clairdlunaa]

i was such a sweet and nice little kid

now i’m just sad and nice

[clairdlunaa]

i am insecure because of my mother

i am an over achiever because of my father

i am never enough, i am never right

— because of both.

[clairdlunaa]

i’ve realized i don’t HAVE to have it all figured out

not at this moment

but i do WANT to have it all figured out

at this moment

and you know what

that might me even worse

[clairdlunaa]

i’ve been in a bad mood lately

- im not sure why

it’s like the bad things inside are seeping out

out to the good outside things

and i don’t like it because i don’t get to enjoy it

i want to enjoy the good things

but i can’t

and im not sure why

[clairdlunaa]

i’ve come to realize

there’s a part of me that is missing

lately things have been getting better

i have good friends that i love

but there’s still something missing

a part of me feels trapped in the past

in my old life

there was a bit of good there

that now is missing in my better present

[clairdlunaa]

every now and then i discover a susan sontag quote or essay that just nails it to relate to my present experiences

when susan sontag wrote “I must change my life so that I can live it, not wait for it”

[clairdlunaa]

[clairdlunaa]

so unfair i don’t look like jacob elordi