corktheauthor

[corktheauthor]

Ahhh thanks for the tag!! I really need to get back to posting on here (and also I need to get back to writing lmao)

The most recent line from my WIP: "Everything’s fine now though, things are back to normal." (Spoiler alert: things are the opposite of fine at this point)

No pressure tags: @how-do-i-do-words @goodluckclove @holy3cake @redacted-thething

Writing Game: Post the last line you wrote and tag someone for every word of that line

Tagged by @inkedmoth. Thanks friend! :))

“I thought British people were supposed to be smart. Don’t you know how to stick to a plan?”

I am NOT telling you what fandom this is for lmaoooooooo I’m too embarrassed

I don’t know lots of people so I’ll tag my friends haha

@flyrobinflyy @skylathescholarly @sassenashsworld

[corktheauthor]

Should I write or nap? Writing will make me feel creative and invigorated whilst napping will make me groggy and grumpy and oops I'm already in bed. Oh well. Night

[corktheauthor]

Parent: My autistic child did something that seems odd to me, and I was wondering if you, an autistic person, could help me understand it. I asked my child but they are unable to explain it, and I think we'd both like an insight into why we behave differently.

Me: Okay firstly you are an amazing parent, secondly, I wrote you a 3000 word essay on the autistic trait you're talking about-

[corktheauthor]

Special shoutout out to my mum today. She's the most wonderful mum I could ever have wished for as well as just a wonderful person in general and I'm so lucky to have her in my life. Love you mum xxx

[corktheauthor]

TW: Discussion of depression and the briefest of mentions of suicidal thoughts

So I'm aware I've been mildly MIA for the past week, and the reason is that I was having a Depression Session TM (feat. anxiety attacks) and barely had the energy to get out of bed unless I absolutely had to (I work from home as a tutor, so it was a case of crawl out of bed, pretend to be OK for an hour, then crawl back into bed until the next tutoring session), and I even missed a tutoring session bc I physically couldn't make myself do it (I made my excuses quickly, and the parent was very understanding). HOWEVER, I pulled up my writing yesterday, and somehow, I was able to actually do some?? Which is almost impossible during my Depression Sessions. And THEN I struggled to sleep, which admittedly may have been partly because I was worried about my overdramatic sister taking her second trip to hospital in a week (she's fine btw) BUT is also often a sign that I'm coming out of a Depression Session. And lo and behold, today I'm feeling much brighter!

This might seem normal, or even unnoteworthy for some people, but for me, it's a huge deal. I had a Depression Session, but it lasted literally only one week and I didn't even go that low?? Like yea it impacted my day-to-day life and affected my work, but not to a unmanageable extent, and my brain didn't go immediately to "this sucks I wanna unalive", which is a huge deal for me! I know that this doesn't mean I won't get really bad lows in the future, but hopefully, things are looking up!

I love you all so much, be happy and stay safe <3

[corktheauthor]

Having like 15 mental health conditions/neurodivergences is wild bc you'll be in bed bc the Depression is happening but sitting up after 5 seconds bc ADHD and then flopping back down bc general exhaustion then jolting up bc anxiety like some kind of yoyo but with added existential angst

[corktheauthor]

Me, writing fanfics: Oops I accidentally wrote another 5000 words

Me, writing a book: Ugh it's so difficult to finish a page each day

Me, writing my mum a birthday card: It's been a week and I haven't decided on traditional "Dear Mum" or funny "Hi Mum!" or adorable "To The Best Mum Ever" or-

[corktheauthor]

Guys it's like almost 2 hours after my bedtime (pls ignore the fact that I'm 24 years old and technically don't have a bedtime anymore) lmao I'm such a rulebreaker. Next I'm gonna have cereal for lunch and eat skittles without separating out the colours first!!!

[corktheauthor]

So, I'm late to World News, as usual (keeping up is hard, y'all), and so I just found out about the Trump vs Zelenskyy thing, and I'm mad. I'm upset. I'm scared for the innocent people of Ukraine. And I don't quite know how to just... carry on with life, when there's this huge war, when people are suffering, when people are dying, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I live in England and I'm a writer and a maths tutor, and even then, I'm not very impressive. I make so little money that I'm still on benefits for not being able to work properly (my mental health is.... yeesh). And yes, being a maths tutor is good, because it means people are more educated and more qualified and will be able to do good things in the future, but that's doing fuck all for the people who need help now. And my writing is doing even less.

Yes, yes, I know. A book isn't just a book. Words can sit with someone, can comfort them, make them laugh when they're sad, and can help them process their own emotions by empathizing with other characters. And more than that, if you write about political stuff, you can make actual change happen and make a real difference to the world.

One book isn't gonna do much. Especially if it's a book about dragons and ghosts and rebellious immortal triplets. But it's not just one book. We're a community here, on tumblr.com, and we can, between us, make something happen. Even if its something small, even if its just creating one singular online space where people can feel safe, writing books that people will never read that make bold political statements that have nothing to do with Mr Trump but somehow still hit too close to home for some people, and supporting each other through our collective sadness. I have to believe that we can do something. Because the alternative is too much to bear.

Oh, and one more thing.

Slava Ukraini

[corktheauthor]

Character A: Do the ghosts ever bother you?

Character B: Like ghosts of memories, ghosts of people who have left our lives, ghosts of could-have-beens?

*camera pans out to show A and B surrounded by literal ghosts*

A: ...

B: Wait did you mean the actual ghosts

A: How you survived to adulthood is beyond me

[corktheauthor]

Me to my friend: I named a character after you. She's called Narpoli (play on Pollyanna (AnnaPolly, Napolly, Narpoli)) and is the Queen of All Dragons

Me to my sister: A named a character after you. Her name is Drena (a nerd backwards) and she's a nerd

[corktheauthor]

Y'all the sky was such a beautiful blue today and it just made me think about how much beauty we are privileged to witness in our mundane everyday lives and I wish I could capture the wonder of it all but I know words will never do it justice

[corktheauthor]

I got all emotional today thinking about how lucky I am to have parents who are endlessly supportive of my AuDHD, LGBTQ+, couldn't-work-for-years-due-to-mental-health-issues self. I love them both so so so much, and I just wish I could pay them back for everything they've done for me, or at least make some kind of start. I owe them everything I have, everything I am, and it's painful to know that I can never thank them enough for that. But I'll never stop trying, and when (if) my book gets published, I'll be proud to dedicate it to them, to two of the most amazing people I've ever known. Love you, mum and dad <3

[corktheauthor]

Overcome with anxiety and exhaustion but they're manifesting in different parts of my body so I'm laying in bed and my top half is motionless but my legs are wriggling and jiggling and vibrating like there's no tomorrow

[corktheauthor]

Getting genuinely emotional writing this scene. It's gotta happen for character development reasons and plot stuff, but it's so hard saying goodbye to someone, even if they're fictional. The sad piano music I'm listening to isn't helping either.

[corktheauthor]

Wrote a scene that I as a reader would be so mad and upset reading. As a writer, however... yeah I'm still mad and upset, why does anyone ever hurt their characters ever???

[corktheauthor]

Not me frantically filling in one plot hole and accidentally creating 5 new plot holes in the process, and filling them in the same way until the holes have grown exponentially and my book is one huge gaping plot pit