crabapp1e - Tumblr blog

[crabapp1e]

One time my freind got a bloody nose and dramatically proclaimed that he was now "bleeding out of two holes!" We were like ??? are you ok. He just blinked at us and was like guys. we all forgot he was trans and were like so concerned for his health and fully thought he was like bleeding out of his dick or something

[crabapp1e]

intrusive thoughts but they're literally not your thoughts because there's a little telepathic demon running around implanting things in your head and causing mischief.

[crabapp1e]

sexy hot men wear lacy thongs.

this is true

[crabapp1e]

would you rather i, a gay little guy with no qualifications do your income taxes, or an accountant who frequently and voluntarily drinks and enjoys sparkling water??

[crabapp1e]

when i was a kid rummaging thru my mums cd collection to steal Good Stuff i accidentally stumbled across one called ‘songs for bonking’ which was coloured awful negative neon picture of ppls feet on top of each other in a bed and ALL the songs were like fucking ska punk 

[crabapp1e]

why did i expect better from you all

[crabapp1e]

chapter 11! is! up!

[crabapp1e]

chapter 9 of Salt Water is posted on ao3!!

[crabapp1e]

chapter 6 of Salt Water is now posted :))))) crabapp1e on ao3

[crabapp1e]

sirius black would LOVE veronica mars. you can't change my mind :)

[crabapp1e]

check out the first chapter of my new band au fic All The Wild Places on ao3 :))

[crabapp1e]

chapter 5 is posted! crabapp1e on ao3 :))

[crabapp1e]

i personally think that instead of flash mobs people should do like flash pretending to be in a simulation so like someone will walk into a train station and motherfuckers are just lagging and walking into walls and like doing the same action/movements repeatedly. I personally think this would be not only better but really fucking terrifying for the people who are not in on it.

[crabapp1e]

Chapters 3 & 4 r posted!! :)

crabapp1e on ao3

[crabapp1e]

okay so you know how james like plays with the snitch and stuff, i think he fidgets with all sorts of things like i think he constantly shuffles muggle playing cards and they're like really worn out and stained. I think he also has a little silver bracelet with a locket on it that he opens and closes because it makes a nice little click.

ALSO THE LOCKET IS SHAPED LIKE A STAR BC SIRIUS GAVE IT TO HIM

[crabapp1e]

2nd chapter posted! :))

[crabapp1e]

the first chapter of my wolfstar surfing au fic is posted if you want 2 check it out ! :)) crabapp1e on Ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/users/crabapp1e/pseuds/crabapp1e