creating-wholeness

[creating-wholeness]

Being alone triggers my CPSTD like nothing else, and I figure there must be some others in that situation.... so here are four little tips to manage, if being alone is a trigger that I've found work more often than they don't (which is the best we can hope for really tbh) :

- info below cat pic -

Here we go!

1) Having background noise when you're alone, especially at night

That can be music, a podcast, YouTube video or livestream, your favourite series, ANYTHING! Background noise can be so helpful. Even when I'm scrolling on my phone, I will often have some noise on my TV or whatever when I'm scrolling on something without videos like tumblr.

2) Making (online maybe?) friends in different timezones.

If there are particular times (for most, it's at night) that you're alone for regularly, it might be worth making pals that you can message/facetime during those times. This is one of the reasons I love my social media pals so much... which leads me nicely onto --

3) SOCIAL MEDIA!!! (proceed with caution tho)

Having a safe space to go and chat with people when you're feeling alone can be so beneficial and can really help the situation, but you have to be careful of the content you consume and produce in a low state of mind though obviously.

4) Keeping busy

Finding hobbies you can do on your own is also useful. Things you can do totally independently can also increase self-esteem and give you a feeling of accomplishment. For me, it's writing/journalling, sometimes gaming, my pets also keep me busy but I wouldn't recommend getting a pet without really thinking about it and doing proper research.

And lastly, it's not a tip, but remember that however alone you feel - you are never totally alone. People will be back soon, and you are so loved.

[creating-wholeness]

i missed drawing flowers

[creating-wholeness]

Even if it happens to “so many people” it doesn’t mean you have to get over it.

The fact that it happened to others doesn’t diminish what you went through.

Just because it “could have been worse” doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real. It still should have been better.

You’re allowed to feel how you feel, and the truth of the matter is that it never should have happened to you.

Sometimes these things are said to try and help. But a lot of the time it invalidates our pain.

It's okay if you're struggling to move on. You're valid, and your feelings are valid. And you can do this.

[creating-wholeness]

Hi guys, my name is Zachary (he/him) and I have CPTSD as a result of CSA and OA and a number of traumas that went on after I had escaped my main abuser, age 14. The trauma just didn't stop. It found me again and again.

I have also developed a number of other conditions (mental and physical) due to my trauma... from OCD to FND, my brain is truly changed by all I've endured

I am having to do a lot of my learning and healing on my own, thanks to NHS cuts, but it just makes sense for me to do more good with the knowledge I have and to let others add their knowledge in together with mine and create a blog designed to help those recovering from trauma.

I am on a waiting list (at least another 18 months left to wait!) for some therapy with a trauma specialist service which will be helpful, but in the mean time it's just me and you folks!

I hope you guys are on board 😇 come say "hi" in the comments or send in an "ask" with a question or a coping strategy and I'll do my best to answer promptly.... please use appropriate trigger warnings for those.

With all that in mind... WELCOME!!!

[creating-wholeness]

[creating-wholeness]

Hey, just wanted to pop in and say I'm proud of you.

[creating-wholeness]

A C-PTSD Poem

I tread water, to stay afloat, and then at night the floods arrive,

Drowning me in battery acid, lighter fluid, painful chemicals burn my eyes.

The images and memories of my torture plague my mind once more,

The smells and tastes, the painful touch, make me collapse down on the floor.

They burn, they sting, they scar, they erode,

But with a helping hand, someone to help carry this load,

Maybe I'll see progress, in heald scars from battles fought,

Maybe I'll find comfort in the lessons I'll be taught.

Until I get the help, I'll try to muddle through,

I'll ground myself barely enough to know just what to do.

Suffering is "normal" after a childhood locked away,

Life isn't ever going to being innocent again.

[creating-wholeness]

Stop saying…

“Psychotic/Schizophrenic” when you mean: unpredictable, unhinged, unreal, etc.

“Bipolar” when you mean: polarized, scattered, fickle, unstable, etc.

“Delusional” when you mean: unrealistic, unreasonable, close-minded, stubborn, etc.

“[insert “R” slur in relation to intellectual disabilities]” when you mean: unreasonable, unintelligent/ridiculous, immature, etc.

“OCD” when you mean: particular, neat, overbearing, etc.

“Narcissistic” when you mean selfish, abusive, manipulative, etc.

Note: I’m NOT saying that these are synonymous. This is also not an exhaustive list.

[creating-wholeness]

"Am I sick enough to be valid" is. Like. A CONSTANT question I get on here and I think it's important to provide semi-consistent reminders that you're never too "well" to choose habits that are kinder to yourself. You don't have to prove you're "sick enough." An ounce of prevention is a pound of cure, and the best time to right the ship is before it goes under the water. (The best time to prevent a ship from sinking is to identify that you're on course for rough waters before you have reached them.)

You don't have to put yourself through greater suffering to prove you needed healing. You can decide to just heal.

[creating-wholeness]

[creating-wholeness]

Bird positivity! Life isn’t a competition, and you aren’t falling behind

[creating-wholeness]

Check the Facts

Sometimes it isn't actually the facts of a situation that are causing our emotions and distress. Sometimes it's our interpretation of the facts. When things happen, sometimes our emotions overtake us and can actually warp of view of other things.

One example is maybe your friend cancelled plans because she was sick. Maybe this causes you to spiral and think "she doesn't care about me! She never hangs out with me!" You may be feeling extremely angry and want to end the friendship as a result. However, your brain may be overlooking that she does hang out with you and there are recent instances of that. Checking the facts can be useful for an emotion you want to change.

What emotion do you want to change?

In our example, this may be the extreme feeling of anger, sadness, betrayal, etc.

What is the event that prompted the emotion?

My friend cancelled our plans!

What are the facts?

When did your friend last hang out with you? You might check the facts and realize she hung out with you last week.

Do your emotions fit the facts?

In this case, the intensity of the sadness and betrayal may not fit the situation given the history of your friend's reliability. Please know I'm not saying your feelings aren't valid. You are very much allowed your feelings, but sometimes being rational with ourselves can help. While it's understandable to feel disappointed, and even sad or angry, the extreme in which you're feeling it is related to your interpretation and not the actual facts.

When checking the facts, there are some methods we can use if we are struggling to do so ourselves especially if we're struggling to answer the question.

Ask others their thoughts on the situation. Sometimes an outside point of view can help us see things more clearly.

Approach the situation from your friend's point of view. If you were the one sick and had to cancel plans, how would you feel? In this case, your friend might have felt guilty about it to start with and it was a really hard decision they made. Maybe because they really don't want to get you sick and they just don't have the energy.

Formulate a New Response

Remind yourself that people have emergencies and things come up, and your friend cancelling on you does not mean they don't care. This might be where you look for methods to help you in the future. Maybe you start keeping a calendar and colour the days when you see her so you have a visual representation. Maybe you keep a screenshot or two of her saying she cares about you so you can remind yourself as needed.

Remember, you aren't a bad person for having your feelings. Whatever those feelings are. Even if they don't "fit the facts." Feelings are not inherently bad. It's what you do with the feelings that matters.

[creating-wholeness]

Its a common cycle in my life.... anyone else?

I have a horrible feeling we are not alone in this... which is both appalling (in a big way) and beautiful (in a smaller, but still significant way) at the same time, if you think about it.

[creating-wholeness]

[creating-wholeness]

no matter what happened today, you:

are loved

deserve to eat

are needed & valued

should take care of yourself

have a future

will be okay

[creating-wholeness]

[creating-wholeness]

you deserve softness.

you deserve kindness.

you deserve stillness.

you deserve patience.

you deserve love.

you deserve respect.

you deserve care.

you deserve laughter.

you deserve intimacy.

you deserve hugs.

you deserve kisses.

you deserve flowers.

you deserve it all.