crystalclear-tears - Tumblr blog

[crystalclear-tears]

[crystalclear-tears]

Sobriety

Smoke, remedy, my only release

Time, loneliness, eating away my reprieve

the forest, withholding its peace

Will I ever be, capable?

To be clean and free,

And feel anything,

As I trudge through the leaves,

Will I ever walk amongst the trees?

free of suffering,

Or is this, what is meant to be

[crystalclear-tears]

You were bleeding honey again

For the takers

But love, don't forget

You're alone now in a forest of sugarcane

[crystalclear-tears]

Artificial happiness

Purging, in loneliness

Filling up, on past regret

Starving,my personal consequence

Nibbling away my days

Why don’t I feel full?

Artificial happiness,

Demanding its toll

To die, or to binge?

Either way I am fucked

Enough to feed a village,

Though it’s never enough

Oceans of calories, out of control

Losing my grip on life

I’m just trying to feel whole

[crystalclear-tears]

When ppl try and say they have OCD because they’re “clean” LOL

I love this video so much. I thought I was the only person who experienced these things. this made me feel normal for the first time in my life.

to any other neurodivergent people out there: you're not crazy, or deranged, or disgusting. you're not a bad person. your intrusive thoughts are not your desires. and you are not alone.

ableists don't even make eye contact with this video.

[crystalclear-tears]

I’m spending the ‘best years of my life’ rotting away in my room alone.

[crystalclear-tears]

by X. Lan

[crystalclear-tears]

✈️

Possessing a ticket of hope, to leave it all behind

A lonely existence, packing her bags, with her lonely little life

One way dream, abducted by first class fantasy

Catching flight to an alternate existence, one where her colours shine through

Rainbows fade into turbulence, the storm sets in on her dreams

Crashed between realities, vessel shot down by her fear

She’ll be lost for centuries, that’s if she ever makes it through

Send a postcard if you can, she gets lonely from time to time

Don’t wait on her to arrive, to stitch your smile back to life

She’s not coming back, don’t hold up her sign

She’s trying to make it home,

She’s stuck between fire and ice

[crystalclear-tears]

[crystalclear-tears]

I don’t want to be a miserable motherfucker

[crystalclear-tears]

[crystalclear-tears]

Terrified of heights

Gazing at the stars, searching for a sign,

Pondering hope, just enough to believe

Terrified of heights, but here I sit

Cliff bound, oceans pooling in my eyes

Thinking of my life, and how it all led to this

The night sky beholds hope, but sadly it’s not enough

My body lives on, though my eternal flame burnt up

Resenting the beating of my heart, and the uselessness of my lungs

Serving me an injustice, I belong to the stars

The clock strikes 12, I’m ready to be free

The abyss, my only chance, I need to be released

Before plunging into nothingness, I think of who my soul would miss

Many faces come to mind, maybe in time they’ll come to see

This courageous act is for all that lives,

A step off the edge, spiralling to a new life

One I can cherish, one where I can grow

My insides shatter into the darkness, no feeling In the slightest

Something I had hoped for, something the stars kept a secret

I’m happier this way

Or maybe I’m not, there’s no way to tell

Maybe this isn’t heaven after all

[crystalclear-tears]

LOL me

My Poem: *gets 10 likes and 1 reblog*

Me: omg omg omg maybe this is the start to becoming a tumblr famous poet *dies inside*

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂😂

[crystalclear-tears]

Everybody deserves this magnitude of support 🖤

I am not okay

It's okay the you're not okay. Take your time. "The only way out is through."

Meanwhile, i can talk to you if and when you want :)

[crystalclear-tears]

To Escape, or embrace? Conflicted, I tried to explain, I write for daunting reasons, but the living, they look at me strange. Desperate, demanding, that somebody listens to what I have to say, I consult with ancient voices, hiding within the walls. They cower answerless behind their fear, begging desperately, for an answer, one that will make them disappear.They reveal their most definite truth, suffering every second of every day, listening through the walls, loathing, all that i have to say. The dead, they’re conflicted too. Voices, resurface their memories of breathing, for them it feels real, they really love that they can see them. Then again, sound pierces through loneliness like a knife, mortified, it jolts their fear awake, and brings it back to life. Invisible, concealed, they don’t wanna be saved, they’re comforted by loneliness, they like it better this way.

They’ll miss me when I’m gone, that’s if I ever break through, we live in a word of conflict, the afterlife too.

[crystalclear-tears]

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

— Unknown (via thoughtkick)

[crystalclear-tears]

Do you ever wish everybody around you would disappear so you could just be sad in peace?